Monthly Archives: June 2020

Open letter to Twitch: Sexual Assaults

Twitch,

Before I begin here I think it’s important for me to introduce myself. My name is Stacey and I have been a streamer on your platform for over 3 years. Though I haven’t been regular as of late I think it is important for me to give some background. I was in an abusive relationship for nearly 2 years. The 2nd half in which no one knew because I hid it from friends and family. Though it may or may not relate to the sexual assault allegations that are coming forward in full force this weekend I think you need to honestly, step up your game and seriously take a look at who you have representing your company as a brand.

This past weekend there has been more stories of sexual abuse, rape, manipulation, sexual assault etc. then anyone would have imagined or thought about. The people coming forward first and foremost are impressively brave, and courageous for telling their stories. To re-live the experience in telling it again for people to know must be stressful, and scary. I know this when talking about my abusive past. Any allegations should be taken seriously ALWAYS not to mention investigated. I think it can be pretty obvious who understands and doesn’t what the word NO means. In case you are looking for some showcases for Twitch Con Panels (Which I assume you are doing virtually due to the Con itself being cancelled) How about making a panel on Sexual Assault Survivors and educating the masses about why No means NO! And what exactly is consensual sex.

Also for anyone who has read this far, and still doesn’t believe Survivors who have shared their story. Kindly, Fuck off. The reason why the world does not accept stories of abuse/rape in many forms is because of the rare cases when victims have been proven to be lying. That being said, There are FAR MORE PEOPLE who are telling the truth that they should never be automatically dismissed. Until they are proven wrong any sexual assault case should be considered true. It is people who bash others, and call survivors liars that are hurting the progress that has been made.

As a leading platform in the streaming world, Why are we waiting and hoping things change for such a long period of time after we cry out to you as a company? Be better. Stop waiting for the community to have an uproar before you put out your blanketed statement. You posted this on twitter: (link is here: https://twitter.com/Twitch/status/1274900083369115649?s=20 )

” We take accusations of sexual harassment and misconduct extremely seriously. We are actively looking into the accounts concerning streamers affiliated with Twitch and will work with law enforcement where applicable.

We’re thankful for the bravery shown by those who have come forward to speak about their experiences, and we are committed to working to make the streaming community safer for everyone.”


This is EXTREMELY similar to your last post regarding the ToS (Terms of Service) and how you would “Make things more clear” for everyone. An example would be how you updated your Body Painting rules, Where somehow magically, The new ToS has shown MORE people banned for following this than before it was revised. How can you say you are here to make a safer community when your safety council was only there to protect yourself and not the community as a whole. Some of these circumstances have happened at YOUR own Twitch Con’s. How is this Okay?

While it may be difficult for you to come up with different ways to penalize or discipline your partners or even affiliates who have been proven guilty of sexual assault, harassment or misconduct I have come up with the liberty of providing some examples for this.

Penalties can include:
Removal of Partner. While this is something that may come as a shock. People can have the check mark removed. Remember how quickly you removed a particular person’s check mark who changed platforms nearly immediately after they announced this? Why is it so difficult to remove a check mark for someone who has sexually assaulted another person? Or even someone who is known to be raciest or homophobic either? Start making an example out of people who should not be representing your company. Not in the contract? It SHOULD be in there. Not to mention maybe revising your partners contracts or even affiliates so that if these cases are in fact proven correct they can IMMEDIATELY have their status revoked.
Platform Ban may seem extreme but so is the acts that some if not all of these streamers have committed. Removal of partnership or whatever will not penalize them if they have a huge community. Remove them from the platform if not forever, 5 years in the MINIMUM. Don’t let them be here with people who are trying to make a career out of this and actually treating people with respect and dignity.
Swifter action has been mentioned in multiple instances. Provide a ticket/ number system where people can track the progress of their concerns. Stop letting the people who report these beyond serious concerns, left in the dark waiting and hoping that their voice is heard. After all, the current system is basically a shot in the dark hoping that the report even went through let alone that people are even reading them.
Direct team for these issues like these. Heck, I don’t have a job but I would be glad to take this on. I live in Canada and am on the East Coast so doing virtual meetings and representing the community would be awesome for me. Make a team NOT like the safety council but a team to Represent the Streamers of Twitch, Not the higher-ups. Streamers need protecting as well and their voice needs to be heard too.
I think this goes without being said, But protection of Survivors should also be a priority. Yes, Chances are if someone is sharing their story and this is brought up to a streamer/partner/affiliate they will know what situation this is concerning but the survivors need protection as well too.

These are just some of the examples that I have thought of this morning and I’m sure there is a lot more that can be provided simply by asking the community. And unlike previous times, how about ACTUALLY caring and taking in consideration the community and their concerns and suggestions instead of saying “We heard you,” With barely a response.

After looking at MULTIPLE tweets this weekend. And even checking out a list made with these tweets, know that so far I have counted AT LEAST 60 different people sharing their stories against streamers/partners some the same person and others aren’t. I think even ONE is more than enough to cause a MAJOR concern with the platform and the safety of the content creators let alone 60 people who have shared and how many countless others who are not ready to share either.

Let’s look at your own Twitch Con for example. Last year there were photos circulating where there were drinks ALREADY poured sitting open on a table for ANYONE to grab at their leisure. Is this safe? HELL NO! When you go to a bar, You ask for a drink, it is made in front of you, and you are given it. Why are you skipping this entirely and just putting them on a table for people to help themselves? Backpacks. Eliminate them or make them clear. I live in Canada, and when I used to go to the bars in Halifax they checked EVERYTHING. If you were a guy you would be pat down and females would have their purses checked. Put in measures for safe practices instead of creating these circumstances where something so serious can happen so easily and THEN making a change. Be proactive in this. Have different booths encouraging and educating people what No means and how to help friends in situations like this also. Obviously there is a lot of people who really do not understand this concept.

Before ending this, I want to leave you with this scenario.

At Twitch headquarters, You have offices, different type of people. Imagine that someone in the office, whether entry level, a major position holder, investor, or management was sexually assaulting other employees, your fellow co-workers. How quickly would this person be fired from their job?

I would say almost immediately following an investigation if not immediately when they came up.

That being said, Why are these people allowed to have YOUR platform? And before I hear “Oh well they make the platform money”
Honestly. Respectfully, FUCK THE MONEY! You are pushing away talented content creators by NOT doing something. Whether a person makes under 100$ per month, or a person is pulling in thousands. Remove them from their position. There are people who would GLADLY replace your top earners who do not have a tarnished personality. Let alone HORRIBLE morals.


Respectfully,

Stacey aka StaySeeJ08


Gaming and Being a New Mom

What can I say, I LOVE being a mom! It’s something that I didn’t realize could have legit changed the entire course of my life until it happened! I feel like it was only yesterday when I was coming home from the hospital. That being said, Being able to game whenever I wanted to, and coming home and having the world revolve around a tiny human is a HUGE change. Here is how I balance doing both as a new mom!

Overwhelmed is an understatement for sure. Days pass SOOO quickly when you have a baby you barely have time to shower. I know it’s gross. I feel like you are running on fumes for the better part of the first month and then you kind of feel normal when feedings at night aren’t every 3 hours but more like every 5-ish hours. I didn’t even stream until my son was 3 weeks old and even then it was just an hour to introduce him to the community that I have grown over the past 3 years. I barely even posted on social media (Which I don’t want to say I regret because it feels wrong to say that, but I wish I would have done it a bit more that way when I decided to come back to streaming I would have had some retention of my previous viewers). Other then that once a schedule is kind of formed you feel a bit more human in the sense you can enjoy certain things again too!

Time management was extremely hard for me when looking at game time and when I want to go back to gaming regularly (If possible) as well as how to spend my time gaming as well too. I knew I wanted to get a some what regular streaming schedule however time wise was not really possible either due to the fact that I can’t sit here and say I will be live at 1pm if he is just about to have a bottle. Not only that but with a boyfriend who also games it had to coordinate with him so that we both can have that on screen time. For me, I choose the afternoons because eventually my son will be sleeping in the afternoon and if it is more regularly than I will be able to stream while he sleeps. However that will probably change to evenings once he sleeps a bit earlier though! He goes to bed closer to 9pm and sleeps anywhere from 7-11 hours straight. Once that changes a bit he will probably be asleep from say, 7-8pm and sleeping til maybe 6-7am. So certain days I would probably change to maybe a 830-11pm stream schedule 2.5 hours per evening! instead of afternoon (Though afternoon bonus streams are always a good idea too!)

What to play is another challenge. Sometimes off stream I will play point and click games like teamfight tactics, plants vs zombies or whatever and have him sitting on my lap if he is content. Other times Ill play Dead by Daylight if he is asleep. Normally survivor so that way I can leave somewhat easier than if I was playing killer. I can’t exactly play a game where I need to be committed or with a team like, a battle royales or a ranked game in Rainbow Six Siege or Overwatch. In case he wakes or is fussy and I have to leave a game quickly. Which was a challenge for me when I only played DBD to find games that only require a mouse after he was born!

I don’t think I could be anywhere near as regular if I didn’t have my boyfriend home on paternity leave either. He watches my son while I have this gaming time, and I do the same for him. If I was a single parent I don’t think I could do this. And the only time I could remotely stream would be when he was sleeping at night, like if he fell asleep around 9pm.. I would stream after for a few hours.. but that’s risky because if he wakes up early and I was gaming late I will have very little sleep. The fact that he also took time off is great since he took about 8-9 months. Though I think keeping regular gaming is important and I also think if I would be unable to do streams if I was a single parent I don’t know if I would even game often with friends in the beginning only because you want to leave games ASAP when he wakes and with a team it can be quite challenging for sure, let alone the penalties in certain games for doing this also!

I probably game more off stream now, than I did before. Mostly because any opportunity he catches a few zzz’s I try to get a game or two in. Especially on DBD where I have the “battle pass” and I try to chip away at the challenges any moment I have to not fall behind.  On stream I do keep it regular to some extent however it really depends I think. Like doing blogs I could do them technically if he was awake and sitting on my lap though I don’t think I would. Eventually I will have to change stream times to when he is sleeping but for now I think games on stream can be tough. Not to mention, trying to ACTUALLY stream can be tough. If  he was awake frequently through the night or up very early by the afternoon I feel drained and don’t want to stream if I don’t have the energy for it. Or if he is fussy or teething (SOON OMG) then they may be harder to get the time in for.

Overall I don’t think I could be any type of regular streamer if I was a single parent or if my boyfriend was working either. I would have to really pick days for myself and him to game/stream so that way we both have certain times to have a bit of fun. Not to mention also, time together which is equally as important since we like to binge watch Netflix due to not being able to go out anywhere with the Covid-19 virus floating about.

-StaySeeJ

Weight Loss Goals, Gone Public!

My name is Stacey, And I’m Overweight. I have been overweight for most if not all of my life starting from teen years and over. I have lost weight as many people have in the past only to gain it back and then some. It is a constant battle with food and myself and the exercise I know is also required. They say you really are your own worse enemy and with weight loss it couldn’t be more true. This is probably one of the most personal blogs that I will be writing but you know what? I need to be held accountable. Sometimes its not enough for me to say I want to do something and just use my own will power as motivation. I need someone or some people to keep me in line! And this is kind of my way of publicly asking for that. I know for my health I need to lose weight. Not to mention, since having my son, I really would like to be a parent who can run around for hours and hours with their kids and not be winded after a few minutes. I want to be healthy and happy with how I look physically. I have an awesome personality (I think haha!) but it can be shadowed by how down on myself I can be. My goal ultimately is to lose 100lbs however trying to say I want to lose 100lbs can see daunting and out of reach, 100lbs total however between 8-10 pounds per month I would be ecstatic!

I smoke weed and when I do that I munch out WAY TOO MUCH. I order junk on Amazon. I eat it all in a few days which is horrible, then I get depressed for eating it. And I get super slacked on exercise. I have to write things down or I over eat. A problem for me is that I overeat for not only sad or depressed times, But also for when I’m happy too. I once was given a quote and it stuck with me, it is: “We are not dogs, We do NOT need to be rewarded with treats every time we have a small success” I also struggle because I can do extremely well all day and then if I smoke a joint or something I completely throw away the day. I waste what good calorie counting I may have had or exercise/workout that I have done. Another struggle I have is I let bad days built up. If I have a bad day, I let it become 2, 3, 4 days instead of correcting the behavior afterwards. Which also is super bad. The world doesn’t end after one bad calorie counting/no exercise day, Why do I let it effect me so much? Hopefully by writing this I am becoming more aware of things and also acknowledging how to change this behavior.

Tying into the last paragraph I also can struggle with goals. I can set them super unrealistic and get discouraged so easily. My goals this time are this:
– Keep track of calories, even on bad days. Don’t let things carry over to multiple days. Bad days are important to reflect on how you are doing. When you have a bunch of good days, It can be nice to go back, and see how you overcame some of your struggles.
– Don’t restart your calorie counting book! For anyone who doesn’t know. I have a book. I keep track of calories I eat, water, exercise and self care, etc. When I do bad for a few days. I restart. I throw away the scribbler, I re-write all my days like a journal. Don’t let yourself get that way! You can do it! Keep the same one til all of the pages are filled.
– Keep track of exercise on the calendar that you made too! You have a good schedule for the elliptical and you want to get it done daily. You do have some slack days but don’t have them all in a row! And if possible try to do a rest day on a 40 minute day, Not the 80 minutes!
– Think of goals (not food related) For your rewards! Every time you lose 10lbs you want to give a little something back. Don’t get it before you are ready as you might binge back some weight. You already have the first 30lbs or 40lbs already done for rewards so keep thinking of other ones!

Setting myself up for success can be challenging. Some little tricks and tips I have done already are these:
– On my fridge I wrote a few questions to myself like ” Are you hungry or bored?, Are you just thirsty?, Wait 30 minutes before candy!” That way It is kind of like a check if I really need that kind of junk!
– On my pantry I also put something similar to this as well.
– Plan days in advance! For example, Tonight is Thursday, I already planned out the calories for today, So tonight when I have free time, Ill plan my calories til Monday and Monday do the same thing. and so on, Plan a few days in advance so you can look forward to treats and have them planned in your calories instead of winging it!
– Don’t be so hard on yourself if you have a bad day! Reflect and move on to the next one! (This is super challenging for me!)
– Keep your before pictures so that way you are reminded of the successes you do have! This also goes for measurements too! Sometimes you don’t lose weight in pounds but you to lose inches! Anything that can help as a reward or progress should be noted! FOR SURE!

As you can see, I think I have the knowledge to losing weight it’s just actually doing it. Not to mention, that I have done it before! Another few quotes that I see frequently is “If losing weight was easy, No one would be overweight” And ” No matter how slow you go you are still lapping everyone on the couch! Lets make 2020 a year of success and weight loss, even if we have had some curve balls thrown at us in the world!

-StaySeeJ08


May Overview/June Goals

May was a decent month even if the ending was a bit slacked. My hours streamed are getting up there to my goal of 40 hours per month. This is even with slacking off at the end of the May. Some stats were slightly up also. However if I was a bit more consistent then it might have been different. Schedule change is also happening. We are dropping Friday’s and moving it to Wednesday’s. This way we have all 4 stream days together and all of our off days also together too. Obviously we may still do bonus streams on Friday or Saturdays for the spooky games I play or even the podcast/talk show that I will talk about later in the blog as well! Overall I have major improvements to make however I am happy with May stream wise!

I was stupid to think I could start YouTube by June. I think it was overly ambitious however the new goal for YouTube is to do a soft launch with the blog writing streams, and in the Fall. Go full editing with montages, memories, funny clips, blog reading, podcast/talk show etc. Also, looking at commissioning an intro and outro for YouTube. I was going to wait for the fall as well, when I have a full revamp done. However why wait for the YouTube so I can fine tune it over the summer for videos to come out! These blog videos and writing should be easier to edit however clips and things I want to learn all the bells and whistles. I’m excited to hopefully be able to bring in new viewers to the channel both on YouTube as well as twitch!

A few weeks ago I had won over twitter a mindset coaching sessions with a woman named Victoria Waye. She is a Mindset Coach and has really helped with thinking outside of the box for myself and what I should be doing and directions to be taking. It’s hard to brand yourself when you aren’t sure the direction you want to take. For me I was full of ideas but there are some things that I never even thought about! We have had 2 sessions so far and I look forward to the other 2 in the coming weeks. From thinking about pushing the blogs as being a front runner to the content that I produce! It’s something that I never put much value in when I probably should have. It is something that makes me unique which is hard to see about yourself. If you want to contact her and discuss these things here is her twitter which she is super active on also: https://twitter.com/TheVictoriaWaye

An idea that I was suggested which never crossed my radar is recording the blogs being read and uploading them so say Spotify or a website called anchor for podcast. That way I can deliver the same content however just the audio so folks could listen perhaps on their drive to work, at the gym, or cleaning or whatever they feel like doing with a bit of background noise too! Something as simple as this I had no idea I could do. However I don’t personally listen to audio books, or podcasts so for me it’s just something that isn’t exactly on my mind. However I need to look a bit more into where to put these and where the most value may be. Which is nothing really but a bit of research!

More on this space, I’m thinking in July on Saturdays we start a podcast/talk show on my channel. I’m feeling Saturdays since people may work or if there is any EU people/UK people then everyone can make it as a viewer or guest since Saturday’s can be flexible time wise. Something light, funny, maybe a few drinks and just kicking it. Nothing serious (There is enough of that in the world!) I would have myself as the host (Obviously) and I would also have 5 guests, I’m thinking we use discord since that seems to be easiest. Guests would rotate each week however if some wanted to be regular that would also work! It would be Bi-Weekly since we all have lives and it might be tricky to get a lot of people together. My goal is to start this July 11th/2020.

Weight loss is something that I have struggled with doing my whole life. Sometimes I can be bang on with exercise and controlling what I eat. I am a very big emotional eater whether its happy or sad. I also am lazy obviously however I know what I need to do. Overall I would say May is Okay for this goal. I am not down any pounds. June goal is to be down 10lbs by the end. I also have set myself up with an elliptical schedule with Thursdays being a rest day, And workouts anywhere from 40-80 minutes. Neighborhood walks are kind of non existent right now because it is way to hot sometimes for the dog and baby to be just walking around. Maybe a bit at night if there is a chill day but other then that they are kind of on hold til the fall. I also have done my Calorie Counting book til the end of the month with some rewards when I hit a 10lbs weight loss goal. These are more or less just buy a new outfit, splurge on Davids Tea or things like that. No real food rewards since that would be silly. I also have to stop munching out from smoking weed. That is my biggest problem, I can do well all day and fail when I think food is greater than it is. Also changed my workouts to the evening instead of morning. Just to make it easier on my Boyfriend. He normally watches my son in the afternoon while I stream and feeds him in the mid-late afternoon and supper while I do his bottles. So this is great for me to change instead of the mornings so he was essentially watching him steady with me mixed in as well so he can have time to game or hang out instead of little pieces throughout the day. Now its more of a schedule!

Overall I am happy with how May went and I have a lot to look forward to! I want to really focus on content as well as my weight loss goals too. I know what I need to do but doing it can be super challenging. And honestly I need to stop treating/rewarding myself with junk food. I’m able to resist! I know I can!


-StaySeeJ