I self sabotaged myself to fail – Self Care Thursday 2 – January 13th/2022

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As I write this I am going to begin with this.
I set myself to fail the 1st week of my diet every, single, year!

Photo by Mikhail Nilov on Pexels.com

And here is why.

My birthday is January 8th. As you can tell if you are familiar with the blog due to the fact I posted this past weekend my 32nd birthday reflection. Every single year I always say I will go hard and really be mindful of what I eat even though I know as a fact that eventually I will be eating junk food and candy or sweets a day or two (or three) around my birthday. And, as much as I do not want it to effect me it completely is. Even though it happens every single year.

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Realistically I should be starting weight loss plans for after the 8th due to the fact I know I will have Cake and treats and basically lose nothing or gain a few lbs in the process. So now that it is behind me let’s get this going.

One shake that I found to actually fill me up is slim fast shakes, they are a great meal replacement with a sweet kick added too. When I am needed an added bonus for energy I tend to reach for these Nuun energy tablets.

Exercise is slowly going. I decided to pause the daily elliptical workout and start with some workout dvd’s. I think this is a better way to start with some exercise instead of going downstairs to workout. Plus, dvd’s are easier to put in upstairs while my oldest has his nap time/quiet time. They are only 30 minutes or so which is slightly less than the typical 40 minutes however Id like to start with the elliptical randomly though. And since this week is the week my boyfriend in fact goes back to work I thought this would be a good way to start somewhere. My goal is to do the workout between 4-5 days per week. Right now I am doing my Zumba dvd but I do have a few others that I can switch to when I get tired of it. I had worked out with it on Monday and Yesterday (Wednesday).

Success! You're on the list.

Weed. I know and you know that a major component of my own self sabotage is I can do really well all day on not over eating only to over eat at night. Case in point is the last 2 night’s I majorly over ate after 7pm because I got high. So I am making myself a promise. No more weed until I am under 235lbs. However long it takes. After that I will not be smoking til I lose another 10lbs so 225lbs. Hopefully by that time I will be able to control my snacking better and can introduce more puffing when that happens. I am my own worst enemy. We shall see if I break it tonight on the first night I planned this..

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Overall mentally I am okay. My only problem is I obviously am being a bit harsh on myself because of my over eating. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to losing weight. But It is some thing I need to work through. My relationship with food is completely unhealthy not even talking about my extremely picky food habits either. I tell myself that the day is done which is true but I know myself as I write this after a night of binge eating which I blame on weed (I am sure many other factors are also there) and I will be thinking about it all day.

One of my favorite items to use to workout and get the heart pumping is a skipping rope. Pair this with hand weights for a mini workout when you are a bit crunched for time!

As far as keeping track in my agenda that has mot been going well. I need to also tell myself at the end of every day I need to write down what I am eating. Even if it is not exact in calories I need to write what I am eating even if only by names.  I think that would be a great idea.

And here to finish is my weight this AM: 247.0 (Down 1.4lbs or so)

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