I still am totally failing at this whole weight loss journey and I have no one to blame but myself here! And that is okay. I can do this even if the beginning looks tough. Here is my week that I am very thankful to be behind me.
First, No more smoking weed unless it is on Saturday or Sunday. That is all. Obviously I cannot control myself and when I smoke and it spills into the week it causes so much damage. Not just because of my lungs (Which I am indifferent about I know.. ) but because I over eat. When I over eat junk and garbage I end up now losing sleep. Why you ask, because I have heartburn and a weird stomach and what not from disgusting that garbage. You my be thinking it cant be that bad. You are wrong! I can eat chips bowl after bowl, i can eat chocolate bar after bar, ice cream, soda, and whatever else I see in the house. I need to develop healthy habits again and plan out things. I also need to set a rule for myself that I not have any food after 7pm. I am such a night muncher that I am hoping that by focusing on my new endeavor for books that I feel like that will be a help for me to avoid over smoking as well as over eating.
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I have also decided to STOP counting calories. I am 32 years old and have counted calories for the past 12 years. I have always thought it helped me in terms of trying to lose weight. I could see how much I over eat by etc. That ends now. I will be loosely and I say that with confidence, keeping track of what I eat in terms of food. I know the calories in what I am eating and by counting them daily when I know I am way over is doing absolutely nothing to my mental health. If I over eat I know that I over eat. Instead I will be weighing myself daily first thing in the morning. I know this can also become an obsessive category BUT I do need some sort of reminder that I am on the right track. This is the new reminder.
Overall I would say that I am feeling hopeful about this. I know you probably are tired of reading it every single week because I am always writing this however I feel good about it. Workouts are kind of on the back burner right now. But I am looking very forward to warmer weather so I can take my boys on daily walks around the neighborhood though., I will make this a goal for myself daily and if my boyfriend wants to go we can also do that like we used to in our previous home too.
One of my biggest problems is that I am always pushing too much to fast on myself. Losing weight is something I have struggled with my entire life. It will not change drastically over night nor will it be healthy. I have lost weight before though and went right back to gaining some because I totally forgot I need to monitor portions and I need to work out and I need to not reset to old habits.
Not that I want to put blame but maybe this whole Covid stuff also has been getting to me also. Living in basically the hot spot in Canada for a long time and having so little interactions, to now living at home and still with a rise in cases having trouble too. It really is hard for me to not put blame and I need to channel the sadness I sometimes feel and turn it into something that is productive, like losing weight!
Here is hoping to reaching my 10lb goal of losing weight for February! I can do this.