Category Archives: Uncategorized

What I have in my “Weight Loss and Mental Health” book

Before I begin, I will state this, I do know there are apps and things that you can do for this. I find that for myself personally I cannot use an app due tot he fact that I find it very “mind numbing”. Think about how many times you click to your phone, And you check the time but you only are finding yourself checking back less than 30 seconds later because you forget what time it is? That’s how I feel about when I use weight loss apps. I feel like by punching in my calories or anything it makes me not realize the power that my food has or if I have a bad day I can simply forget it. I do however use a fitbit so I use their app for sometimes monitoring my exercise since the convenience is really easy, I also tend to use it for sometimes tracking my weight. But overall I don’t typically use an app. Oh, but I have used it also if I am stuck on calories and want to find something for a new thing that I have eaten!

As you may have already guessed, By not using anything in terms of apps for tracking my calories, Yes, I do write everything in a note book. I write it down because I feel like at the end of the day it really sinks in as to what I have eaten. Sometimes Ill even write throughout the day what I have eaten and keep count of calories as the day goes on, sometimes I will keep track in my notepad in my phone and write in the calories after a few days, sometimes I will write the calories I eat on post- it and put that on the day so I can write it in my physical book. It really depends on what I am feeling but ultimately I end up writing it in the book. My biggest flaw in doing this is that when I have a few bad days, instead of reflecting and and writing down my thoughts or feelings in the day, I feel like the book is not trash. Maybe it is because I feel like when I mess up the days the book is useless and I feel like every day should be tracked perfectly. I have recently started a new book, or at least outlining the days, and I made a promise to myself I would keep it. There is over 200 pages in there and I should not be going through and re-doing book after book. And before you even ask, Yes, I do re-use the books after rotating through but I do throw them away after so many pages is gone and I feel like it is a waste. I often forget that I used to do this when I lost 30 pounds before. I just need to get back into the habit again!

As you may or may not be surprised to hear, I also don’t keep track of those macros or micros or whatever else have you. if you are familiar with my previous blog posts you will see that I do not eat nearly enough healthy foods to even bother tracking that right now. I strictly limit my calories and eat whatever I want. Mind you if I eat a chocolate bar at 9am and find myself starving at 9pm I will normally reflect on this moment and think maybe I shouldn’t have wasted those calories earlier in the day or I wouldn’t be starving now. I try to aim to eat between 1200-1500. However I do have a max of 1750 for things, Like if I eat a serving of some type of nuts for example, they are normally higher in calories but they are good for you. So instead of overeating it I typically just count that in.

I also keep track of exercise and I think that goes without saying. I typically try to do 40 minutes on my elliptical a day. I don’t see this as too much and I think it is totally reasonable. Once I get a bit of a plateau I would like to also add in some 30 minutes workout DVD’s which will be easier for me to do once my son is older as I can put him in the playpen and I am sure he will want to do this along with me. However I do not want to start that now as I feel like I could be overwhelmed and give up. I also have some small hand weights a well that I would eventually add in however that wont be anytime soon though.

I keep track now, for when I smoke weed too. I find by doing this I am more conscious about over eating especially if that is the reason why. Obviously once we become pregnant again I wont need to but til then it is helpful. I set a goal of how much I would like to smoke during the month and try to stick to that. I know I need to stop smoking so much really. But seeing it as an overview helps to see that maybe I need to cut back or take a few days off.

And lastly, but certainly not least. I have a spot for mental health and self care. Sometimes I forget and by sometimes I mean quite often I forget that I need to take some care for myself. I need to take a moment to do something for myself which I always put second in my life. It is a lot easier for me to schedule in this time because if I didn’t otherwise I wouldn’t do it. Which is why in my streams I schedule art ones. Its kind of killing 2 birds with one stone by streaming a bit more and having a creative outlet as well. Even something as simple as having a bath and watching a show or doing absolutely nothing. It helps me keep some sort of normalcy especially where I don’t work and barely leave the house due to Covid being around as well too.

If I am missing anything that I should include, Let me know!
I am always looking for ways to make my diary for exercise and healthy living better but sometimes we get stuck in a rut and are unable to see new things.

What do you keep track of if you are in the process of losing weight too

-StaySeeJ


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Differing Doctors Advice

Having a child is never an easy thing to do. You get the enormous amounts of advice from nearly every single person in your life. Even people who haven’t had a child before are telling you things. You have people who have had kids and your parents who you may have been their last child 20 some years ago when you were born. Enough things change in any realm of the world let alone the parenting one. And things certainly do change in terms of how you do things from decade to decade.

Growing up you would hear that parents used oral-gel on a teething child’s gums. Not anymore. Something as simple as that you are warned not to as it can numb their throat and they can essential choke on their own spit. Another thing that has changed is straight out just letting them cry it out. This seen as barbaric and horrible parenting now you have gentler methods where you go in after 5 minutes of crying, or go in after 10 minutes of crying. Oh, and did I forget to mention the whole sleeping on their back vs sleeping on their front. Every child basically was put on their belly even myself and my siblings. Now they urge you not to do that and place your baby on their back due to a choking risk and a higher percentage of children dying from SIDs. Also there are sleep sacks that you can use on your child instead of putting blankets in their crib since you know, another suffocation risk there too! Do you remember the bumper pads that were also in cribs? Nope, Not allowed either! All of these things were pretty normal when I was growing up and a baby to have around. However now they are so frowned upon.

In speaking about this, I will mostly be referencing myself and a friend of mine who has a child that is 2 months older then my own son. We both go to different doctors and the advice can be quite differing. To the point you really don’t know what to follow! This is a few circumstances where advice has been so different.

When it comes to sleeping our son used to be a great one! Then something happened and he wasnt sleeping so great. We had asked our doctor about whether or not we should change anything or what have you. She asked if he had a soother. We obviously said yes he did. She said to get rid of it. At the time our son was about 6 months 7 months old. She said the reason why he wakes is because he searches for his sookie and cannot find it. Crazy right? Now on the flip side I was mentioning what our doctor had said to a friend of mine. She said her doctor said the sookie can be a good thing, Here is why. When your child teeth they want to shove, and I mean shove their hands in their mouths. It is a lot easier to remove a sookie from the picture then their hand. If they get used to sticking their hands in their mouth and sucking their thumb it can be quite challenging to curb that habit as apposed to removing the sookie. Obviously we choose to follow that advice which is something that we never had thought about either!

Another thing is how you are supposed to drop bottles. Apparently as babies age you are supposed to drop bottles. This is part due to the fact that you are moving up their real food intake and introducing meals and things. The problem with this is that you are not giving as much milk as you once did. Our family doctor said that we should be doing the same amount of ounces for our son and that food is only for play before the age of one. A friend of mine who has just recently had her 4th child also said her doctor said the same thing. However a friend of mine is just ending their bottles for their one year old son as well too. They have been moving down certain months and things.

Another thing as well would be how quickly to start solid food. We have been doing puree for a long time however when my son was at his appointment for 9 month check up, the doctor said he should be having more chunky things. My son is nearly 12 months old now and is just starting to get his 2 bottom teeth. Which is great! However my boyfriend and I were very weary trying to start really chunky foods since he had no teeth! We started to do a bit more chunky things though for his foods at different meals. Our concern was that he would gag and yes, we know gagging is a part of leaning however it seemed like a lot. I think because the doctor had said this we were so worried and panicking that we never gave ourselves credit. Our son was doing just fine with mashed bananas and different fruits that had different size pieces of skin from being blended a touch. He was getting used to textures he just wasn’t physically chewing anything. He had textures that he gummed and we can even see this by his mouth moving also. We just were so worried we were somehow failing our son that we didn’t realize how well he was doing.

Even something as simple as this can be supper concerning when doctors are giving different advice. I think the best thing you can do is if you hear this from friends and different advice from their doctors, that you just follow your own. It can be really stressful and overwhelming hearing everything and such drastic opinions on things that you really just have to do your own thing though. No one can really make these decisions for you, only help you decide!

What are some things you heard from your doctor that differed from other friends doctors? Was there anything totally out there that you are wondering why their opinions are so drastically different?

Let me know in the comments below!

-StaySeeJ

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Weight Loss Wednesday #3 – I’m Struggling

This post will be a bit different. I am writing this a few days ahead of the date and like the title says, I’m struggling.

I am not going to make excuses for why I am struggling however I am.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the weight loss was nearly non-existent between the previous blog post and this one and that is okay. Losing weight is not just an easy slope that you ride down and it magically comes off. I would be really interested in looking for someone who has this happen so easily though as I would much appreciated some tips and tricks in the process!

Weight: 240.4lbs (UP 3.4 LBS)
Measurements:
Waist: 47.0 Inches ( No Change)
Hips: 54.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
Bust – Over – 46.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
– Under – 41.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
Thighs – Left – 30.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
– Right – 31.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
Arms – Left – 14.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
– Right – 14.5 Inches (Up .5 Inch)

I think a big problem with me before when I was doing all the calender’s was that I was trying to track too many things in too many places. The fact is, I have lost weight before. Was it easy? No. Was I keeping it simple? Yes. All I did was I did the treadmill an hour a day (This was when I was still living at home) And then I was majorly monitoring my calories at 1200-1500 per day NO OVER EATING! I was working so much I literately was eating and sleeping and working out and working. That was it. My boyfriend was away for work so I filled in the time as best as I could so that I was not bored or sitting around waiting for him. I was keeping busy for time to pass super fast.

What I am keeping track of is calories and working out. That is what I did before and I will be simplifying what I do now. I also will be noting days that I do smoke weed since we all know that that is a major reason why I munch so late at night. I want to work out at least 5 days per week and I would like to have only 1 day that can be closer to 1750 calories per day. Essentially that will be my cheat day. I also would like to use post-it notes and plan meals per day as well too since I know I am normally really how I feel that day and it can be detrimental for my keeping under calories.

I will no longer be smoking weed Monday-Friday. Only on weekends IF THAT. No more scheduled days. No more planning ahead. Monday/Wednesday/Friday I TYPICALLY do not smoke anyways because I stream. When I stream and smoke weed (Though the occasional time may happen) I find myself lazy and dis-interested. I need to smarten up because as time passed the closer we will be to having or trying for a second child and I do not want to be this weight again!


I know, No difference or nearly none. Plus a bit of a weight gain. And by a bit I mean basically back to what I was when we started.

I will say this.
My BF and I have purchased a vape pen. And no, It;s not for weed. It’s something to take the edge off. Am I trading one lesser weed for another vice? Sure. But I will succeed. I just made it harder for myself by completely throwing away any progress. My goal now by the end of February is to be under 230lbs. I know, It is a stretch and I need to work hard. But I believe that I am going to be able to do this.

Enough about this sad sack stuff though.

Time to get to work!

What do you find motivating when you are stuck or need a reminder you can do something difficult?

Let me know in the comments below!

-StaySeeJ



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Using Mental Health As An Excuse For Poor Behavior

Before I begin, I want to make it very clear. Mental Health is no joke. People have legitimate health problems and need to have help with that regardless of if it is by going to a doctor, getting on medications, talking to someone or just adopting new self care habits to be better as a person by coping better with these issues. Whether it be anxiety or depression, ADHD or OCD, there are many types of things and if you have one of these and someone else does everyone has different experiences. I am in no way down playing that mental health can be a reason why some people don’t do things or do them. This is going to be talking about people who habitually do harmful things and use their mental health as an excuse.

There are many people, especially on “Streamer Twitter”, who seem to use their mental health as a reason for treating others badly. They may write snappy or shady tweets with people and say they were having a bad mental health day. This is completely wrong and should be called out. Sure, people could argue with me and say they didn’t mean it, or they didn’t think about it when it happened, or it slipped out, but that is not okay. Whether or not you are having a bad day mental health wise, under no circumstances should you be trying to put someone else down. If you are having a tough day chances are talking about it is a lot different then talking about someone else. No one else can control your health physically, mentally, emotionally or whatever else you are dealing with than you.

This ties into blaming others for your mental health. “Oh, I seen Johnny Appleseed post about their life and how great it is and now I am feeling bad about mine, I’m going to post a veiled insult towards them and leave it vague so people don’t know who I’m talking about” etc. It may be hard for you or anyone to feel good for others especially if they have good things happening in their life. Remember the golden rule anyone?
“If you have nothing nice to say, Don’t speak”
Sometimes as adults we forget this. We teach it to our children that some things are better left unsaid and as adults we always feel like we need to be saying whatever is on our mind regardless of if it hurts anyone. After we find out we may have hurt someone with our words we find ourselves making an excuse. Whether that be something is happening at home, You had bad news, You were having a bad mental health day, An episode of some sort was happening, whatever.

Policing online social media is becoming a very big thing. I have noticed this based on the circles I follow on twitter for example. Here is the situation. Someone may commit suicide or they may discuss a traumatic life event, like abuse or rape. Someone or many people who follow this person or see the topic arise will tweet or post about how they do not want to see this on their timeline and that they shouldn’t be posting this in the open to the world because it effects their mental health. They want to have a timeline free from their triggers and memories so they try to police what others may have said. This goes with differing opinions as well too. If someone thinks mental health is over played a lot, and someone has diagnosed problems, they feel the need to tell off the person with a differing opinion instead of taking this time to educate someone on the effects that one may have by posting opinions like that.

Spending too much time on Social Media, in my opinion, could be a major reason why some people have mental health struggles. Instead of taking time away when we feel down we go online where we are surrounded by things that can bring us down further, such as others success, images that make us feel sad, or whatever else we may encounter when browsing the web. The best thing I have done recently is trying to take time away from social media. I write on my laptop in the living room a lot and don’t nearly spend half as much time on the PC as I did before. My laptop is quite old so many tasks are not able to be performed on it. I simply use it to check twitter and discord and write these when I am feeling a free moment when my son is playing independently. I spend time in my books and writing things down for planners and schedules and what not. I love to hand write things and if I can do it offline then I will do it since I know if makes me feel a lot better or at ease with myself when I am away from the the online world.

Being diagnosed with a mental health issue does NOT make you a professional. That statement is bold, Yes, but it also couldn’t be more true. If you have Anxiety you are not a professional. If someone is reaching out for ideas or questions about this, sure you are able to put in your thoughts about it. But do not try to tell someone that their concerns are invalid because maybe they haven’t been diagnosed with it like you have, or that because they are experiencing things in a different way that they must not have the same diagnosis that you do because the illness presents itself different in you. This is not fair and can be extremely damaging to someone. Their feelings and thoughts are very much real to them even if you may not think so.

Regardless of what you have been diagnosed with or how well versed on a subject you might be when it comes to mental health, it still does not give you the excuse ever, to put others down. Poor behavior is not to be excused by poor mental health. That being said, if you do have a lapse in judgement and treat someone badly or try to put something out in the world to harm others, admit that. It may see hard and like a tough thing to do at the time. However the feeling you get when you admit this fault after the fact will be better and the payout worth while. On the flip side also, If someone has done something towards you, or something that was intentionally made to hurt you, take the high road. Block or mute someone, reach out privately about how you may have seen whatever happened in a not so clear way too. Sometimes others don’t realize what they are doing is hurtful, just as you may not realize what you have said to be hurtful either!

Do you know people who use mental health as a blanket excuse for poor behavior?
Do they try to police others on how to think or feel?
Have you found yourself in these situations before?


Let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

-StaySeeJ

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Weight Loss Wednesday #2 Jan 21st/2021-Feb 3nd/2021 [20 days]

I need to be held accountable. Simple as that.

I have decided to do so, I will be bringing you along the weight loss journey. We recently have gotten AMAZING News about moving back to my home province so that means weight loss before baby number 2. And I mean I have to hammer down NOW! I will be writing blogs every other Wednesday til about June or so when we move. Every 2 weeks I will update (with pictures!!)

Three criteria: Days I smoked weed, Days I exercised, and Days under calories (Max 1500). Along with triumphs and struggles. And updated side and front photos too. Normally I pick subjects and write about them and if they become relevant schedule them or write about a current subject as it pops up. Not this time. Chances are you are reading this blog and it was written last night. I will have photos of calendars that I will be filling out to see things easier and an overview of how I am doing. I wont be typing up what exactly I eat in a day as I do not have the time to do that but this will be a good overview for all you visual readers! Simple “X” Day’s mean that I failed at the calendar’s goals. While if I pass I will briefly fill it in. If I am under my calories I will Highlight it with a marker, if I don’t smoke weed it will be colored in, and if I exercise I will briefly write it in ie: Elliptical 40 mins, Exercise DVD, etc. and I will write a reflection on each calendar and then a brief spot after for my struggles and victories of the week!

If you are someone who is familiar with my blogs you know that I struggle with weight loss, I have most of my life and recently wrote about it too, You can read that blog here.

My low goal is to lose 30lbs before we move. Which is no over-reaching. If I lose anywhere from 30-50lbs that would be a major bonus for me. My starting weight is 242.4lbs. I know. I feel like a whale and need to take control of myself again. The goal before baby number 2 is cooking in there is under 210lbs. It is totally doable I just need to hammer down and stop eating my feelings, good and bad.

**** If some of this is repeating the new info is below, you can read the first blog post here regarding the weight loss journey!

Current Weight : 237.0lbs (DOWN 5.4lbs)
Measurements
Waist -47.0 Inches (No Change)
Hips -53.5 Inches (Down .5 Inches)
Bust – Over – 45.5 Inches (Down .5 Inches)
-Under – 41.5 INches (UP 2.0 Inches)
Thighs – Left – 30.5 Inches (No Change)
-Right – 39.5 Inches (UP .5 Inches)
Arms – Left – 14.5 Inches (UP 1.0 Inches
– Right- 14.5 Inches (No Change)

Exercise Log

No description available.

Old Goal: Workout 8 out of 14 Days
10 Days worked out!
WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT!
Having completed the goal of working out I think I will probably stick to this again. I find workout is not nearly a problem for me. I put on a show on my Computer where my Elliptical is and I just go to town. I find this time to be passed faster watching a show and fully getting deep into it. Currently I am watching the Vampire Diaries which when I am done if I can find it on Amazon Prime I will hopefully be watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the 5th time or something. I like watching shows with female leads that have the body shape I want. I find it to be motivating when I can picture myself striving for that!
New goal: 10 out of 14 days worked out!

Under Calories

No description available.

Old Goal: 10 out of 14 days Under Calories
6 Days out of 14 were under calories.
This is a struggle for me however I am confident that the next 2 weeks will be great! I will like to add that there were some days there that were JUST over 1500 calories so technically they were over but if I worked out that day and counted the calories burned from the workout I would have been safe in terms of under. However I don’t workout and add those calories in I just count calories and let the workout speak for itself. The only day I can really foresee being over calories is Valentines day since we will probably be ordering in some food however that is basically all. Maybe an added cheat day. I set a goal below but will try to be under a lot more also too!
New goal is 10 days out of 14 under calories.

Days Smoked Weed

No description available.

As you can see smoking weed was a bit better. Many more no smoking days than before however I still smoked over the 4 max smoking day limit I set for myself. Thankfully for me a friend of mine and I have a little competition going for February. She won’t be drinking Wine and I wont be smoking weed. Little does she know I think she will cave before me, but don’t tell her that! So the new goal is NO weed at all for February hopefully we see lots of colors showing no weed days!

Struggles

Have been over eating. However when I do over eat the days haven’t all collided together which I am happy about. I didn’t completely self sabotage myself this time only a little bit. Smoking weed is a challenge as well and I hope by not smoking in February that will really help me to jump start my weight loss. If I can be under 225 by the end of the month or really close that will be a huge motivator in itself for me!

Victories

A major victory for me is working out. I think I am back into a steady routine now that it will really help me to keep going. I never had a problem with working out when I get in to the habit of doing it, the problem for me was food and over eating to the point my work out was just maintaining my weight it was never helping to lose it. I cannot wait to see where I am at the end of the month with no smoking weed!

Reflection

I am finally in a place where I can say I am excited about weight loss. If I can do this correctly and really stick to my guns about over eating, no weed, and working out I think February will be a fantastic month for me. My goal is to be around 225 pounds by the end or even close would be good. Then if I keep at a 10lb weight loss. End of March would be around 215 pounds and end of February would be 205 pounds. This will be huge for me before we try for a second baby and I couldn’t be happier! Here is to a kick butt month!

-StaySeeJ

I Want to Write a Book

This may or may not come as a surprise since I have in fact mentioned it before in previous blogs, in fact the most recent time was here, When I talked about my New Years Resolutions that I would like to write a book or even books. I have a few ideas that are floating around the universe that I legit have to sit down and really think of a plan. As you know I am for sure a planner. So before I even was to begin writing I would like to map out a story, plot, some twists and see where we go from there. I don’t want to just sit down and write and write and write and hope inspiration comes. I want to have a base line and hope that in the process I can add some bells and whistles and see how it goes from there.

First I would like to start with some short stories. I went and found different type of mythical creatures or monsters. Like Vampire, and Witch or Werewolves, and found different characteristics about each. And roughly wrote different stories, dark and horror type ones since I have been on a binge of these types of shows for a while. Id like them to be on the slightly longer side of short stories between 8000-10,000 words however I think if I did approximately 5 stories per book I could do a nice collection. I just have to really take time even if I have to schedule it to write down time in my life i want to spend to writing whether that be when Vincent sleep’s one day, or one evening I end stream a touch early and write, Or I take a weekend my boyfriend is with the baby and take an hour or two then.

Next I would like to write a book that becomes so big movies are written based on them. Think Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter big. I have some bits and pieces for these books. I feel like I really want to have a good base down as far as chapters, characters, scenes before tackling this type of book series. That would be so much for me to really put together and make it all connect correctly. I also feel like if I write the mini/short stories first then it will help me understand stories a bit better and what it takes. I have never really written something this big before in my life so I kind of want to work my way up to that as well too. All it really takes is an amazing book to make yourself known. Or even think Stephen King big!

I have also thought about doing a poetry content book. I say this and the term is probably wrong however I never really researched it. I just thought maybe a romance poetry book, or moving collection of poems could be a nice thing to do. When I was younger I always really enjoyed writing out my feelings. Types of things that were suicide related, I know topics we never talked about ever. And it was a great release. Now that I am older I don’t feel those feelings however I would like to revisit that side of my life in a different light. I loved poems that could rhyme and what not as well. I think it could be a great little side of writing that I could put out to the world. Even motivational or seasonal. I would however have to look a little bit though in terms of structure or patterns you can do since it has been so long. However I would love to explore that area again too!

As you can see there really is a lot that I would like to write about. And I am sure that any writer would also feel overwhelmed by this. The hardest part which I’m not even thinking about is the process of publishing it when it has been written. How much does it cost? Where to go? How to market the book? What about a proof reader? Or editor or whatever else. I have no idea where to begin with this. There is some help though. On my Facebook some of my mom’s friends have in fact published books. When the time comes Ill probably ask both of them and see where that can take me. Money may be a factor but if so I will just have to save save save! Like honestly, how much does it cost to have a whole book printed? I have no idea but some books are expensive to buy! Which type of book would be easier to print? Do I want a hard cover or soft cover or both? The more I sit here I find more and more questions to ask. Good thing Ill have this blog to refer back to for when I have to ask them I wont be forgetting anything.

I have yet to decide how I will be going about this. Do I want to set up goal of writing so many words withing a time frame? Do I just want to schedule time in and write for the period? Would it be better if I set a monthly word goal so I can kind of have a bit of a relaxed but still have a goal for the end of the month? And what would a reasonable amount be! I guess I really need to be sitting down and figuring out these before the end of the month and the beginning of 2021. That way I can know the expectations I set on myself before hand and hopefully wont be dreading them in the process either. But I know this is something that i really want to do for myself. If I wait I am afraid the longer I go without planning to write and be an author the less likely it will be to happen. This year I would like to be something at home. Hopefully make some what of a financial income even it it might take a bit to get there.

What is something you always wanted to do in your life? Did you end up doing it or holding off?

Let me know in the comments below!

-StaySeeJ08

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