If you haven’t been following this blog for long or just so happen to have stumbled upon this randomly you may not know how strong of a stance I have for formula feeding as a viable option for feeding your baby. So much so I have written a formula feeding tips blog too. Because let’s be real, in this day and age there is STILL a lot of stigma around not breastfeeding. So much so it’s literally as toxic as they come. And while not everyone who breastfeeds is toxic, a lot of people don’t even know they are contributing to the toxic nature that can be the breastfeeding culture. And I’m here to tell you that it is just that. This is about the toxic side of breastfeeding.
Assuming everyone breastfeeding has got to be one of the worst things that anyone who breastfeeds does. One trend that I have noticed when in different groups across Facebook is that whenever someone posts a problem, like maybe their baby isn’t drinking enough, constipated, sick, how to handle this illness or ailment, the number one thing people say is something regarding breastfeeding. Ie: have you quit dairy in case they are allergic? Did you know your breastmilk changes for your baby? Just give them the boob? This stuff is toxic as shit. Not EVERYONE breastfeeds and assuming they do is a sure way to make people feel bad about themselves. And while I’m not saying fuck breastfeeding, what I am saying is if you breastfeed, and want to help someone, asking an open ended question such as “Are they Breastfed, Formula, or Combo fed?”. This leaves it open to any type of feeding and help where you may genuinely be concerned. This also goes for people who will respond to these questions with statements like ” With my breastfed baby we…” and proceed to give all this advice which may literally only work or be helpful to someone else who breastfeeds. People need to stop assuming that everyone breastfeeds. I even talked about why formula needs to be normalized because when you say you formula feed, you’re basically admitting to treason or some shit.
Encouraging lack of sleep has got to be one of the most toxic things someone does. Including nurses which I personally experienced with my 1st son. Which was one of the reasons why I said “FUCK THIS” and went to formula. People AND medical people will say, breastfeeding is supply and demand. Ie: if you put your baby on your boobs, it signals your body to produce, more if you do more, less as you say are Weaning. That being said. As a new parent. Or as literally any human being in general. It is so so so so fucking important to have at least 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And I’m telling you now. Fuck literally everyone who tells you that you need to have your baby on your tits 24 hours a day for the first weeks. Your sleep is so valuable. For not only healing and recovery from, hello, giving birth, but to function. If you are getting less then 4 hours sleep you will begin to function as if you are impaired. And that is simply not safe for yourself, or your new baby.
Breastmilk. Put that shit on everything. This thing has got to make me laugh the hardest. I say that because a lot of times people comment “I have this issue, I’ve been putting breastmilk on this spot and literally it’s not getting better!”. Right. Because Breastmilk is not THAT fucking magical. A common thing I’ve seen is baby acne. All 3 of my boys had it. The reason for this is because once babies leave your body, their hormones (like ours) are a bit out of wack. Their body is regulating to life outside of your body. It is a natural occurrence with babies. Some have more than others and that’s okay. There is absolutely no reason to be squeezing your boob juice and rubbing it on your kids face. It will go away on its own. Trust me. As someone who doesn’t breastfeed and never squeezed the crap on to my kids. It did go away on its own. I did absolutely nothing and it was gone in a few weeks.
And finally, how great breastfeeding is, we live in 2023. The difference between both is few and far between. For people who also say “Well breastmilk changes to a babies needs”. Sure. So why are breastfed babies sick a lot? Or it changes to be fatty as your baby grows. Great. But it’s still not going to change they are feeding so frequently. And let’s get real for a minute. If you breastfeed there is literally, absolutely no reason for YOU to mention how superior breastfeeding is over formula. EVER. For 1) some people who do breastfeeding don’t have great nutrients and need to supplement with formula. Which again, nothing wrong with that. And 2) breastfeeding being “superior” to formula is literally shoved down formula feeding parents mouths so often they do not need someone else to mention it. In fact, it’s on every formula supplier website, every can or package you purchase, any bottle type that is supposed to be “closer to the boob” to every medical professional and whatever else it can be labeled on. In fact, at our local.childrens hospital instagram they SPECIFICALLY state that they support all feeding but will never promote formula on their page. It was an instant unlike/unfollow from me. There is absolutely no reason to mention it. I know it is supposed to be better. That isn’t a deciding factor for me when I choose to formula feed. I choose to formula feed because mentally, and bluntly, I fucking hated breastfeeding.
Whether you are a formula feeding parent, I stand with you all day every day. Why? Because I know how hard it is. And if you are a breastfeeding parent, please, Be mindful of these situations. Because at the end of the day. There is no way of feeding a baby that is better than the other. People chose the path they do for various reasons. None of which are any of our business.
Stacey J. Girard 