If you are up to date on my socials you will know that I have recently been engaged. I couldn’t even tell you the date I was proposed to but it was the early August. We also knew before I was proposed to that we would be getting married. Why? Because we kind of planned on eloping! Here is why.
So after this year, having 2 children, both have my partners last name, which is not an abnormal thing to have happen. It is pretty common for children to have their fathers last name. I wanted to also have my children to have the same last name as me. I have been with my partner for going on 12 years, we have 2 kids, pets, as well as planning a 3rd. I wanted to be married. I felt like it was something that we should be doing by making it official.
Now you might be wondering why the eloping? and how is it kind of? Well, I say that it is when this blog debuts, we are actually getting married today! We are getting married at a wedding chapel a little bit away here in Nova Scotia. (I will write a better blog post about the details later once we get things back!). The reason why we are doing this was for numerous reasons.
One of those reasons is that it was relatively cheap. My brother and sister had a bigger deal when they got married. The whole deal, people invited, foods, stuff like that. We don’t have anything like that. In fact the time we get married is at 230pm. We have a half an hour in the chapel. We also have a maximum of 10 guests as well. Not sure if it includes ourselves or not but we figured it did. We have a couple who will be our witnesses. They are people who I have known since I was in college. They lived next door to my Ex which obviously they liked me a lot better and have been true friends. They have 2 daughters who will be there. There is also myself, and my partner and our two sons. And finally my best friend who I have known since I was in grade 6 and moved to a new school. That is literally it.
One thing I get asked a lot, why isn’t your family there? It isn’t about them. This is about me. I have always been the stranger one in the family bending rules and what not and well, this is no exception. That being said, truth be told, my parents also eloped. They didn’t tell anyone though. They literally got married and my Dad’s eldest brother and wife were their witnesses. At the end of the day they really can’t say anything about it. Do I think they are upset? Maybe. But I’m not thinking about them I am thinking about myself. We want to do this not because of money, gifts, people, sharing whatever. We want to do this for ourselves.
Another reason also is because weddings are expensive. When you invite tons of people or you have different ideas and what not. I do not want to make this some pricey event. Not to mention, my dog had some surprise vet bills so obviously we are not wanting to spend a fortune to unite us legally. Covid has also put a lot of people back. Some people may not have had work, some may be in the hole, food and oil and gas here is so much more expensive than it was last year. We do not want to have a big deal wedding and people feel like they have to spend any money on us or even getting to the venue, etc.
That is not to say though that in the future we will not be wanting some sort of ceremony though. Maybe in the following years or whatever on a particular anniversary we will have a reception officially or some mock wedding where we can share it with family and friends. Right now though we do not want to put that financial burden on people. We don’t even want it on ourselves as we are focusing on the house and trying to do renovations and what not also.
Our focus is just on making this a special day. We both have our rings, our small group to share the moment with, our son’s who will also be able to share the moment with too. There is even the package that we got that has 10 edited photos on an online album. Yes I will share some of those in a blog post afterwards too.
I guess we just wanted to be different. We wanted this to be something that was done and was more or less for ourselves. So often we try to please everyone, not just us but people in general. We do things that we think others will be want us to do. I am so excited that we will finally be joined but I would be lying to say it isn’t a little nerve wracking though. It really is a pretty simple wedding. I spend 100$ on my dress from Shein, I got the boys both matching outfits to wear also. The most expensive clothing piece was probably my spouses suit that he is renting from a store here. I’m making the bouquet with flowers from outside however I am still wondering what I will do if there is none really in bloom or maybe I will even think about getting some fake ones or something from a local craft store. At the end of the day, This is about our love, our family, and just making it official. If people get mad about it they obviously don’t understand our reasoning!
Life is too short to try to please everyone but yourself! And that is a true fact and something I need to remind myself about!
Stacey J. Girard 