All posts by stayseej

5 Reasons Why You Should Have a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever

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It comes as no surprise that I was devastated when we had to put our beloved Duck Toller down, to the point that I’m not even sure that I would get another one because this one was so incredible. Sheldon was literally my sidekick and even months later it hurts to not have him here still. As any pet owner knows, it can be challenging to have to make a decision to put your dog down. For us it was a no brainier because he just wasn’t getting better. If you are on the fence about what type of dog you want, let me give you some reason why you too should have a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever added to your family. Again, The reason why we are not sure if we would get another is because we obviously aren’t really over his passing, and getting another one feels like we are replacing him, which we totally are not doing. I even wrote in a blog post about how we came to decide on having a duck toller, the connection though is none of these reasons and more to do with a family connection. Though these reasons did make an important role in the final decisions though.

Duck tollers are great with kids. Even as puppies they want to please their family. They are such loving breeds that they are incredible, spoiler alert: You will probably hear a lot of me talking them up in this way, maybe because our experience was so wonderful too. When I had first got Sheldon my Nephew was very little. My nephew would continuously throw his ball and Sheldon would loyally bring it back every time. There was never any aggression towards him. He loved having someone to play with him and would fetch the ball for hours if you would let him. Sheldon was an incredible dog around kids. Towards the end of his life when he got sick my sons were very little. He was a bit more of a grouch as dogs sometimes are with age. However the impact that Sheldon had on my sons is huge. Long after Sheldon crossed the rainbow bridge my oldest still called for him to give treats too. Sheldon also never tried to nip or bite at them either. When my oldest would walk around towards him he simply got up and moved away. He tried to avoid my son because he wanted to be left alone.

Typically Duck Tollers last for many many years. I say this as Sheldon lived just before 10 years old. Then he had his health issues, however when my grandparents had their Duck Tollers they lived till after 15 years old. Just like any animal, or any pet, dogs are not a few year commitment. They are decades long commitment that you need to really be prepared for. They may have health issues or they may not. But regardless, they are animals that you need to prepare to love and take care of for many many years. Not dump them off somewhere when they become an inconvenience for you.

Duck Tollers are very energetic dogs. They require a lot of attention. When we first got our dog we never left him for more than a few hours, I say left and that was just because I would work 4 hours in the morning and I would bring him to my parents so he would hang out with them. As I mentioned He would fetch a ball over and over and over again and they love to retrieve. After all, they are called Duck Tollers because they are great for hunting!

The Nova Scotia duck tolling retriever got their nick name Little River Duck Dogs because they are great hunting companions. They would go out and retrieve ducks that their owners shot down. It was super convenient instead of having to get the kills yourself. They could do this for days. We never really taught Sheldon to fetch. He did learn how to do that instinctively. Just one day when he was a puppy he brought ball back and when we threw it he would keep coming back with it! If he gave you the balls or whatever too, and you never threw it he would then get mad at you! And give you a little bark because he wanted to still keep playing!

As I mentioned, Duck Tollers are such an easy going breed. They like a few treats here and there. They aren’t extremely picky eaters. We thought Sheldon was a great name for him because just like the Big Bang Theory character Sheldon he was so very smart however he was a bit dumb in some ways too. Which made his character so incredible. I will say though, these breeds, like many many many types of dogs, are not a dog that you can or should get when you have to work 8 hours a day. They need to be active. When we first got Sheldon we had a fenced in yard and he would run laps around and around. Before we get another dog, if it is another Duck Toller and we are ready again, I would be for sure having a fenced in yard so they could run. They are a dog that needs to be walked often and stimulated too. I’m sure there are dog breeds out there that are lower maintenance but this is not one of them.

They also need to have some sort of grooming. Whether you brush them daily or have them groomed at a groomer, their fur coats needs to be properly taken care of because they will become matted. Not all dogs need to be groomed and this is not one of those breeds.

Overall, I would recommend having any dog. However a Duck Toller is one breed that is sure to have a special place in my heart, for more than one reason! Whether or not we will keep getting another, well, the time for that still has not arrived yet.

5 Saving Money Tips With Raising Children

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I would be lying if I said that having children is not expensive. It is. And there are many things that are involved. One thing people don’t talk about much is formula. If you are a formula feeder like we are, formula can range anywhere from 15$ per can to over 30$. And with that being said, ready to feed and concentrates are even more money. Forget diapers too, they are about 30$ a box depending where you are and what box you are getting. One thing though is to remember as you read this I am Canadian and I am sure that things are going to be more money than other countries or vice versa and cheaper than other ones too.

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One big thing when it comes to deciding you want to have multiple children, and something that is huge when it comes to saving money is by saving things from one child to the next. Clothes in particular. For my family, we are currently pregnant with our 3rd boy. We had been given a lot of clothes in the process of having out first to the point that we kept a lot of things. WE received a lot of boys clothes which was no problem. That being said, whenever we had to buy a few things we always made sure that it was actually a neutral color. That was a huge help too. There is absolutely no reason why you need to be buying new clothes each child. Obviously things happen and maybe you were not planning for another child, there is great second hand stores that you are still able to get cheaper clothes than brand new off the rack.


Bulk buying has been a nice too. This is more so when you are preparing to do solids. Chances are you have one child already eating solids and starting a second one can be a bit of a financial burden even if they don’t eat a lot. One thing that is important to remember is that when you buy the jars of food, that is more money in the long run then when you are going to make homemade baby food. I actually talk more details about the pros and cons of store bought baby food and homemade baby food here. It doesn’t have to be hard to make baby food at home and at the end of the day it is far better nutritionally! We would buy bulk packs of meats, like chicken the 12 back of chicken breasts, sausages the same, and we split them up into freezer bags and take them out as we need them. It helps to limit waste because you are only cooking what would be used and eaten.


I dont know if you are someone who needs to hear this, I know I was and it still doesn’t matter. Toys slowly take over a lot. But let me be the first to say, YOUR CHILD DOES NOT NEED A MILLION TOYS. I say this because it is true. At the end of the day they literally will have more fun with the boxes that they came in and will enjoy that a lot more than they would the toys themselves. We have so many toys over the years here that we actually hide some and bring them out in different times of the year. That way they seem to be new. There is so many things that money can be spent on do not make toys one of those things. Is it hard? Yeah it is. I know when I go out I am always thinking of things to get my kids because I know they would enjoy it knowing they will toss it aside as soon as the new toy appeal wears off. Save yourself money, and don’t buy this stuff for them when they have a lot already.

Second hand though, is a great way to buy the bigger ticket items that you know your kids may enjoy. Think toys like the cars they sit in and push with their feed, jumpers, play sets like kitchens and tool benches. All of those things are a great thing to have because at the end of the day people want to sell them for cheap and get rid of them from their own homes. If you check market places or second hand spots you are still able to get these without spending all of the money you think you should be spending. Sometimes people buy things and their children have little to no interest in them so they literally try to sell if and you can get it pretty cheap. Personally we don’t normally go this route I use my crafting business in order to try to fund these little extras and that is a huge help also too.

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And lastly, create memories. I know this seems to be a no brainer but its not. At the end of the day your kids would be happy with play dough that you make with flour, salt, and water. You do not need to spend money on fancy sets and things. The internet has a wealth of information our there for different activities that you can find for your kids. Think of the vinegar and baking soda volcano. How much fun did you have mixing that and watching the bubbles and foam and see how it looked. These are the things that they will keep talking about, not the things that you spent money on and items you bought for them to play with.

If you know that you play on having other kids, like we did for example, save things. Having kids is expensive. But now that we are on number 3, we have all of the bigger items still that we have saved to used for the 3rd one. We are able to just spend money on things like diapers, and formula because you can’t save those things. However 95% of the things that we have we are able to use and at the final baby grows out of things we will for sure be paying it forward cheap for people to have the same experience raising kids that we did!

How do you prioritize home renovations, without spending all of your money and going broke!

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Purchasing a home can be really daunting in the sense that it always seems like something is popping up that costs money. This seems to be especially true when you are buying an older home. Though don’t let that fool you, there is homes that are brand new that too have their own sets of issues when it comes to renovations. Maybe they were cheaply made and there is problems that are underneath the new and shiny appearance.

This is the before of our home that we moved into, The entire home had this type of carpet, and YES there was some carpet in the bathroom we immediately removed also too!

In our case, we did buy an older home. It wasn’t brand new and some of the maintenance that should have been regularly done whether that be yearly, or even every few years, was pushed aside and not done. Period. We had a few surprised within the first year and we also had a lot of things we needed to figure out which to fix first. That in itself is a really challenging thing because typically the bigger jobs, are more expensive. Or if you need to have a specialized person come in that also costs money, Like we needed an electrician in. They cost so much per hour. And then you have to figure out which ones to do first. Here is what we did with our home and why. Hopefully these will help you make some decisions on your thoughts for renovations in your home, and how you want to start too.

If we start with little renovations. Painting was a little one, flooring was another. These were kind of the first cosmetic things we did. Painting was super easy for us because we had to stay in our home for 14 days once we moved due to Covid restrictions. I had someone drop paint off and we just painted and painted and this alone made the house have a really good refresh. The whole house was a weird cream color, and this was just a facelift to help it look like ours. Another was the flooring due to the fact that they had carpet everywhere. The front stairs had carpet, even the bathroom had carpet too. We just got a nice grey click flooring that we put everywhere. While this was about 2000$ it really wasn’t a huge renovation but it was the start to making the home feel like it as ours.

Next up was some of the bigger things. Electrical being huge. When we moved in there certainly was some questionable choices. Like there was one spot that the previous owner had drilled through a wall, and when they did that they also drilled through a wire and the wood surrounding it was black. Literally a fire hazard waiting to happen. Another was different plugs not even wired correctly. A big job also was the home still has fuses. Needless to say after one blew a few times my husband was totally over that and we had breakers installed and an updated panel. These were huge things that needed to be addressed nearly immediately for our own sanity. Fast forward to 1 and a half years later and we’re still doing little tweaks to the electric also.

The refreshed floor was such a great renovation that it truly made the home feel like ours, as well as so much cleaner too!

Heating is a major one also. We are not fortunate enough to live in climate where we can say “Aww fuck it” and live off of no heating. While winters in Nova Scotia have gotten a lot milder with some random cold snaps, heating is still important. The first year we were in our home we used oil. It was expensive to say the least. And the following year thankfully we got heat pumps, one upstairs and one down, and that made a big difference! And if we would have had to use oil it would have been awful because the price only continued to go up! We never used our oil once last year and currently we are in the process of trying to get some baseboards for rooms at the end of the hall. That’s where it can be a touch tricky for the heat pump to reach but it did work. It also would be great in case we needed a backup too for heating to have some electric baseboards instead of relying on oil and maintenance and those things too. Upgrading this part of our home is practical just for the money savings too.

Foundation Cracks/Insulation were next in line for the bigger repairs. The cracks mostly due to the minor flooding we seen. Instead of putting it on the back burner we really didn’t want to risk major damage. Luckily a lot of our things in the basement were able to be unharmed. They also were in the Rubbermaid totes so that was a huge help. We just didn’t want to risk keeping water down there longer than that if we didn’t have to. Insulation was equally as important because we were going to make sure the home was properly heated why waste a bunch of money on heating the home if its not even keeping the heat in?

The bottom line though when prioritizing which home renovations to do should be these 2 things:

Can we afford to fix this now?
This is important because not everyone has the funds that we do or did to make them happen. If we didn’t we would have had to budget and save money in order get it done. Which there is nothing wrong with doing because the majority of people will likely need to save.

And secondly, if we prolong this, will it cause immediate damage to the building? Or will it be okay to put other renovations higher on the list? Because some renovations like replacing the windows should wait when maybe fixing the reason why your basement may be leaking would be a better way to do a home renovation to prevent further damage or mold growth from spreading.

Whichever you choose renovations are anything but cheap, and cosmetic ones can always wait!

How breastfeeding your children is becoming a toxic subject in terms of modern day parenting

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If you haven’t been following this blog for long or just so happen to have stumbled upon this randomly you may not know how strong of a stance I have for formula feeding as a viable option for feeding your baby. So much so I have written a formula feeding tips blog too. Because let’s be real, in this day and age there is STILL a lot of stigma around not breastfeeding. So much so it’s literally as toxic as they come. And while not everyone who breastfeeds is toxic, a lot of people don’t even know they are contributing to the toxic nature that can be the breastfeeding culture. And I’m here to tell you that it is just that. This is about the toxic side of breastfeeding.

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Assuming everyone breastfeeding has got to be one of the worst things that anyone who breastfeeds does. One trend that I have noticed when in different groups across Facebook is that whenever someone posts a problem, like maybe their baby isn’t drinking enough, constipated, sick, how to handle this illness or ailment, the number one thing people say is something regarding breastfeeding. Ie: have you quit dairy in case they are allergic? Did you know your breastmilk changes for your baby? Just give them the boob? This stuff is toxic as shit. Not EVERYONE breastfeeds and assuming they do is a sure way to make people feel bad about themselves. And while I’m not saying fuck breastfeeding, what I am saying is if you breastfeed, and want to help someone, asking an open ended question such as “Are they Breastfed, Formula, or Combo fed?”. This leaves it open to any type of feeding and help where you may genuinely be concerned. This also goes for people who will respond to these questions with statements like ” With my breastfed baby we…” and proceed to give all this advice which may literally only work or be helpful to someone else who breastfeeds. People need to stop assuming that everyone breastfeeds. I even talked about why formula needs to be normalized because when you say you formula feed, you’re basically admitting to treason or some shit.

Encouraging lack of sleep has got to be one of the most toxic things someone does. Including nurses which I personally experienced with my 1st son. Which was one of the reasons why I said “FUCK THIS” and went to formula. People AND medical people will say, breastfeeding is supply and demand. Ie: if you put your baby on your boobs, it signals your body to produce, more if you do more, less as you say are Weaning. That being said. As a new parent. Or as literally any human being in general. It is so so so so fucking important to have at least 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. And I’m telling you now. Fuck literally everyone who tells you that you need to have your baby on your tits 24 hours a day for the first weeks. Your sleep is so valuable. For not only healing and recovery from, hello, giving birth, but to function. If you are getting less then 4 hours sleep you will begin to function as if you are impaired. And that is simply not safe for yourself, or your new baby.

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Breastmilk. Put that shit on everything. This thing has got to make me laugh the hardest. I say that because a lot of times people comment “I have this issue, I’ve been putting breastmilk on this spot and literally it’s not getting better!”. Right. Because Breastmilk is not THAT fucking magical. A common thing I’ve seen is baby acne. All 3 of my boys had it. The reason for this is because once babies leave your body, their hormones (like ours) are a bit out of wack. Their body is regulating to life outside of your body. It is a natural occurrence with babies. Some have more than others and that’s okay. There is absolutely no reason to be squeezing your boob juice and rubbing it on your kids face. It will go away on its own. Trust me. As someone who doesn’t breastfeed and never squeezed the crap on to my kids. It did go away on its own. I did absolutely nothing and it was gone in a few weeks.

And finally, how great breastfeeding is, we live in 2023. The difference between both is few and far between. For people who also say “Well breastmilk changes to a babies needs”. Sure. So why are breastfed babies sick a lot? Or it changes to be fatty as your baby grows. Great. But it’s still not going to change they are feeding so frequently. And let’s get real for a minute. If you breastfeed there is literally, absolutely no reason for YOU to mention how superior breastfeeding is over formula. EVER. For 1) some people who do breastfeeding don’t have great nutrients and need to supplement with formula. Which again, nothing wrong with that. And 2) breastfeeding being “superior” to formula is literally shoved down formula feeding parents mouths so often they do not need someone else to mention it. In fact, it’s on every formula supplier website, every can or package you purchase, any bottle type that is supposed to be “closer to the boob” to every medical professional and whatever else it can be labeled on. In fact, at our local.childrens hospital instagram they SPECIFICALLY state that they support all feeding but will never promote formula on their page. It was an instant unlike/unfollow from me. There is absolutely no reason to mention it. I know it is supposed to be better. That isn’t a deciding factor for me when I choose to formula feed. I choose to formula feed because mentally, and bluntly, I fucking hated breastfeeding.

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Whether you are a formula feeding parent, I stand with you all day every day. Why? Because I know how hard it is. And if you are a breastfeeding parent, please, Be mindful of these situations. Because at the end of the day. There is no way of feeding a baby that is better than the other. People chose the path they do for various reasons. None of which are any of our business.

How do you know when you are too old to chase friends?

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There comes a point in any adult life where you need to re-evulate your circle of friends. I say adult because for most, myself included, it took a while for me to actually want to make my circle different. I too would try and keep up with all the friends I had even if it was a one sided relationship.

Let me paint you a picture, my own story. Rewind to I think 2018. I was getting ready to move to Quebec. A province a bit away, and where I would know no one. A lot of things happened while living here, had my 1st kid, became pregnant with second, then we came back right before Covid after being away two years. This was a temporary move mind you. We would always come back due to the nature of my husband’s career. So as best as I could I tried to keep in touch with “friends”.

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Fast forward, we move back in 2021. I have my oldest who was a year and a half, I was 20w pregnant with our 2nd. Mind you also covid was around and restrictions were still heavily in place. We also were keeping a low profile due to not wanting to get sick. However I did send messages to people who I thought was my friends. What did I get? Radio silence. Or broken promises. Whether or not the reason was I had kids and maybe wasn’t as flexible, but we never even got to that part. And if I’m being honest, it was low key devastating.

At the end of the day though, I am nearly at my mid 30s. And regardless of the reason, having people flake on me sucks. Especially if they are saying “Yeah let’s plan something!” And it never becomes more than a message left on read and me asking them randomly “Hey, when are you free?”. It’s super disheartening to see this and also makes you feel like there is low key something wrong with yourself. As I grew older, had kids, and make my house a home I started to care less though. Why am I, a middle aged adult, chasing people who obviously either don’t want to hurt my feelings, or they want me to be around for whatever reason as long as it doesn’t require hanging out? As I write this I am totally fine and happy being in my house with my kids, and my husband, and not having to worry about others. I enjoy evenings in with my husband binging different TV shows too. I don’t need to keep a social calendar and HOPE that someone has time for me. Hell, I have 3 freaking kids and STILL want to make time for people. And for what? If we eventually do hang out it hopefully won’t be super awkward? Knowing that this hang out session is likely because I bothered them repeatedly to hang?

Let me help you. These are some quick reasons why and when you should think long and hard if you should stop bothering with people or not. Because these are literally the reasons why I basically said “Fuck it” and stopped trying to put any effort into people who obviously have 0 effort to put into me. Remember, I am sure you are also like me, Your time is not unlimited. I have basically evenings that I can work with. That is literally it. I have 3 small children, none in school right now, a husband who works full time, and at the end of the day, I don’t feel like doing anything let alone socializing but I am willing to still put in effort for some me time, even if others take that for granted. No more. These are the cues that made me want to slowly dwindle my social circle and keep it small.

Only dinner dates with the Hubby from now on till people value my time!

– Unanswered messages or calls seems to be a big one. If your messaging someone and asking if they are free this week, or next few weeks and they are either not answering your phone calls, or they aren’t even replying when you KNOW they are on social media sharing things, or maybe they even left you on freaking read. It may just be time to slowly change your mindset and stop asking them when they can hang. Chances are if they did want to meet up, you would have already!
– Another reason to say “Fuck it” with a person is the empty promises of hanging out. These are the “friends” that will build you up to hang out and totally ghost you. You know the ones that will literally say “oh yeah! Let me check and get back to you”. They either don’t check or they leave you on read when you give a follow up question like “Have you checked later in the week?”. There is no reason to chase any of these people because why would you want to make them a priority in your life and value their friendship if they don’t put the same value back.
– If this person doesn’t talk to you kindly there is a good chance they aren’t even a friend to begin with. Maybe they are condescending and rude whenever you share a small success with them. Or maybe they quite frankly, just talk to you poorly. There is plenty or reasons why but a friend just doesn’t talk that way with a friend. So if they already are being blunt and not exactly talking to you great, drop them.

Life’s to short to chase anyone, period. And if you find yourself feeling even more upset when you slowly cut these people out, of you find yourself reaching for the phone to see what they are doing. Find a hobby! That’s what I started when I was pregnant, well just before I got pregnant with my final fella, I started sewing and needlepoint things. Whenever I felt like I wanted some socializing I would simple pick up the craft I was currently working on. It was a rough habit to get into due to the fact I was obviously upset and wanting to see friends, or people I once called friends, but eventually, I stopped putting effort into them what so every at all.

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Why I started a Face Care Routine

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I’m old. Not really, but I am for sure becoming older and I should have been taking better care of my skin. In fact, a skincare routine has been something on my mind for years but somehow it lasts for a day or two and I just cant stick with it. I’m not going to bore you with all the nonsense of “Well your skin is the largest organ in the body” blah blah blah, more bull shit, guilty conscious etc. It’s simply put, I am getting older. Nearing my mid 30s I need to start taking a look at the bigger picture. It also should come as no surprise that I’m lazy or in the very least I put myself at the bottom of rhe “to-do” lists of life. You likely have noticed that adding things to my routine is not always easy. In fact I find it super challenging for me. Let me take you on this beginner trip of starting a skin care routine!

One main reason I started a skin care routine is because I have noticed patches of dry skin, especially on my face. Spots that are on my nose, between my eyebrows and occasionally my cheeks. I know if I also was to start trying to drink more water that would also help these areas however I also know a skin cream too would be helpful. Since you know (maybe) that I write blogs in advance, you can read more about how I do blog posts here, hopefully as I write this I have been doing good at sticking to my routine. I keep it simple. Even as a teenager when I had a bit of acne I still was doing some what of a routine but it was still pretty laid back. I didn’t have hundreds of dollars to spend on products and I also didn’t want to spend 30 or 40 minutes or more before bed doing a routine either. But the fact is, I am not going to get any younger and I think starting a skin care routine to help with these areas of concern would be great. I have dry skin anyways and have medicated creams for different parts of my body, but the face is something we see and the world sees every single day. Do I wish I started this sooner? Kind of. But I had to be ready or willing to accept the routine and the fact that it needed to be done.

One thing I remind myself since starting is:
“Keep it simple, Stupid”.
I do very basic things. Why? Because if I over complicate things I know myself and I’m gonna give up. So I start small. I have a skin scrub that I don’t use every day, maybe a few times a week. I also have a toner that I try to use every night before bed though before my night cream. It makes me feel refreshed to be able to use it before the cream. Like the cream has some fresh skin to really soak in. And In the mornings I use a day cream. Evening is obviously a specific night cream. Currently I am trying Olay as the brand and it’s been going great. They aren’t fragrant to dry out my skin more. And they aren’t greasy feeling. Eventually yes I would likely get into a sirum or something but not right now. As far as the scrubs and things I do use St. Ives. It seems to be a relatively good price however I will likely switch to an Olay brand perhaps after. And toner right now is a Nivea one which is fine but I’ve had others I liked more and will likely switch back to. I like this routine because I can put the cream on in the morning to start the day, and at night it’s not a lot of added steps as I wind down. Starting a routine in general takes time and dedication. If I were to start now with 50 steps, I likely won’t last more than a few days if that. So starting with a smaller routine and building the habit and then growing is how I feel like I can be successful.

One thing I religiously do though for my skincare is whenever the rare occasion occurs that I do wear makeup, since becoming older, is I have started to try and use primer. I find it helps a lot in making your makeup become smooth when applying. I also am a huge fan of removing makeup. Growing up as a teenager I wouldn’t really care about that. I’d fall asleep with makeup on, wake up to a mess, kind of fix it and go. As an adult if I forget to take it off or am just too tired, I truly feel a difference in my face. It’s dry, it’s itchy, it feels dirty even after I’ve properly removed my makeup, and my skin just doesn’t feel good for the day. Not to mention it just isn’t good to have makeup all on your skin when your sleeping for so many reasons!

Whatever your reason for starting a skin care routine, it’s never too late to start. One was something I wish I had sooner. Though I have been lucky in the sense that my skin hasn’t been horrible I still wish I had established this earlier so I could continue to grow. And since I’m touching this up before scheduling it also, spoiler alert: I haven’t developed the routine yet. Starting on February 4th I’ll be doing a 12 week weight loss challenge again. My hope is to start then and have it as a check list for the day. This way I can ensure that I do it. Once I get in to the habit of things then it should be easy enough to do. I just need to really smarten up and kick my own ass here to get going!

What are some of the Pressures of Parenting (And how to avoid feeling the heat!)

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As a 3 time Mom again, I am no stranger to the expectations and comments that is made towards parents. This is my third time hearing some of the same things! It’s hard to even remotely try and grab a shower sometimes let alone dealing with the incredible change of living your life for yourself to living your life raising a tiny human. As much as I would also like to say the pressures of being a new mom change with each additional kid, it doesn’t. I think the biggest thing with being a new mom, or a new again mom, is as you have more children you learn how to handle people better. With your first you may be finding it hard to stand up for yourself. Even if you were confident before it can really make you question a lot of yourself. But as you get comfortable you will find your voice! As for a new mom, again, you are still finding a new voice and navigating a new normal but you find your voice quicker!

This is our 3rd fella we welcomed into the world on July 26th via Planned C-Section!

One thing that drives me nuts is how social influences talk about how when you become a new mom again, that your life doesn’t “really” change. These are people who likely have paid help with their kids due to the nature of their profession. Or in the very least have plenty of friends and family able to help them also. They are showing you what they want to show. And the fact is, even when they show you their “rough” side of parenting, maybe a restless night or trouble doing something, they are more than likely only showing you that snippet. They are still catering the video to something that makes it seem like it’s not as bad. Not only that but they could be showing you how their baby took a few mins extra to settle when maybe they didn’t settle all night. Or they have help to take care of their baby too. At the end of the day, having a baby or kid SHOULD change your life. You are raising a tiny human and while yes, you can do things you did before kids, it may take a little while to get back into a routine again to do those things. Look at me for example, there have been periods where this blog hasn’t been seen a lot. Or more new posts.  Not because I lost interest, but because my priorities had changed and I was caring for a new baby. Those lives are popular for a reason, and it isn’t because of their parenting skills and how wonderful they are. Be mindful that it is likely over 90% of parenting influences are having some help to make their journey look far easier than it is. And raising any children whether your first or 5th is challenging.

Losing the weight or your body being forever changed NEVER gets talked about. In fact the opposite does. Sometimes while pregnant you hear lots of comments. Especially ones about your weight. “BOY, you gained a lot”. “You can see your weight gain in your face”. And even afterwards you still hear comments. Even slightly, unintentionally negative ones like “have you lost the baby weight yet?”. Harmless right? No. What is never talked about is that even during pregnancy and after, sometimes our bodies will never go back to the way they were. It doesn’t even matter what exercises you do, how you eat, or if you even weigh the same as you did pre-pregnancy. When I was pregnant with my 1st, a friend had said they were told that “sometimes our bodies never go back to the way they were, we carried babies and our body shape may be forever changed regardless of how much weight we lose. And that stuck with me through every pregnancy.

This is my middle fella, He was born via C-section due to the fact we found out he was breech in Labour!

Breastfeeding is one of the hardest things you can do parenting. And that’s just the act itself. That’s not including the whole pressure that society gives you. So much so I wrote it in a blog post here. When I was pregnant with my first I was very open minded. I was going to try breastfeeding. A part of me felt like I should at least try. And a part of me knew that breastfeeding wasn’t for me. And the idea of pumping made me feel like an actual cow. So after 3 stressful and tiring days I gave up. In hindsight the best thing I ever could have done was give it up. Mentally I hated every minute of it. From the pressures from nurses to the ideas that society had on how a parent should feed their baby. I was so thankful to finally have help from my husband too who was able to also feed our sons. My mom loved being able to feed a bottle, and my husband too because he could also bond with our kids that way too. The fact is, we live in 2024. Formula is so advanced that the difference between both breast-milk and formula is not as vast as it once may be. Not to mention, both ways that kids are fed, they are still going to eat the same dirt off the floor regardless. And one way or the other has no intellectual advantage over the other.

The bottom line is there is so many different things when it comes to parenting that are pressures. Even as a 3rd time Mom again I STILL feel the breastfeeding pressures however I am more versed in being able to let them pass by and or speak up for myself. Something that I wasn’t able to do as a first time Mom because I was too worried about stepping on toes or disappointing people. When in the end I was disappointing myself!

If you are a parent feeling the pressures, you aren’t alone. And if you are someone hammering down these pressures, think again before you say statements that could be really hurtful to parents.

So You Want To Get Married For As Cheap As Possible: Here’s how!

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Before you even start reading, if you have been questioning what type of wedding you want to have, here is your sign to NOT spend thousands and thousands of dollars on one day. Fucking elope! Literally anything. I wrote about how and why we decided to tie the not in a pretty unconventional way here. But here are some ways for you to cut costs if you must have a wedding that is modest.

Wedding dresses are beautiful yes. But the price also reflects that. Some ways to cut that cost down majorly is either buying used on marketplace on Facebook or even getting it some unique ways. Maybe you don’t even want to wear a freaking wedding dress. And in that case you already saved yourself some money! For me, I got my dress from the website Shein. That was about 100$. It fit me so well and was a saved cost. I also got my 2 sons as our 3rd wasn’t in the process yet, cute matching outfits from somewhere like Old Navy or Carters maybe. But there was no way I was getting them suits to get dirty whether rented or bought. Especially when the would never use it again.

Another major cost that can be created at a wedding is guests. How many do you have? Are you feeding them? How are you feeding them? If you want to save costs then you can limit guests. That being said, if you limit guests, prepare to have to explain to people who you didn’t invite them. I know, some family are assholes and it can be challenging. My sister invited everyone in both families. My brother picked and choose who he invited. For me. I didn’t invite anyone! It was literally at a chapel that was within the province, myself, my husband, our 2 sons, the photographer included in the package we got, the justice of the peace who married us, and my best friend and her husband who witnessed because our other friends had Covid and were unable to make it. Was my family, including my parents pissed? I’m sure. And some more vocal than others. But at the end of the day my wedding wasn’t about everyone else. Keyword there is MY. My husband and I have been together 13 years. So for us it was not a big celebration for all. It was a symbol to us. We just moved also and we’re focusing on ourselves. It did make it easier though to not invite everyone so if everyone was pissed so be it.

Eloping is a quick way to save money and make your wedding inexpensive. Some people get married and don’t even tell anyone. they literally go away somewhere or even just do it locally and just surprise family and friends after the fact. I call ours a half elope because we did tell people. Maybe if I could go back I wouldn’t even have said anything. Then by the time people would find out the whole thing would have been done.

Hiring a Justice of the Peace is another way to also save money. You can have a backyard wedding, Maybe in a cheap location, Indoor or outdoor. I would suggest though, Looking at recommendations. Sometimes you may find a JP that is not as reliable. Mind you obviously life happens and sometimes it can be hard to plan ahead in case something does happen. But look at what other people say. Maybe you pick a JP that is professional and follows the vows and whatever else you would like to have to the book. Maybe you want one that is a bit more personal and you can help write the vows and speeches more. Or maybe you want one who is a bit more modern and speedy so that you can get to the party or lack there of. There are tons of Justice of the Peaces around where ever you may be that you really need to check and make sure that you are finding someone that fits the kind of ceremony that you envision.

A courthouse wedding is fairly straight forward also too. From my understanding it would be that you just bring your marriage license and you go from there. Check with your local spot though because they more than likely have specific days or times that they do weddings. It’s not something you can walk in any day of the week. Also its important to know these things so when you do get the marriage license you are able to just make sure that you have the right date on it. This is a very very very quick type of ceremony. You likely are only bringing yourself and your partner. Going in. Having a basic speech about what the typical weddings you see. Take each other. Rings. Vows. Kiss. Over. You may or may not buy a special dress or even wear a suit. Maybe a small bouquet but it will be fast and it will be hopefully as easy as possible. This could also be a way that you choose to elope without telling anyone and just going.

Regardless of how you want to get married. They do not need to be something that you spend thousands and thousands of dollars and put yourself into debt to get there. And the most important thing to also remember, it is about you and your spouse. Literally no one else. So anyone can say their thoughts, sure. But at the end of the day if a wedding you don’t want is what they are suggesting, that isn’t important. I know for me personally, I’m sure that my family would have liked a bigger wedding for multiple reasons. But the wedding we had wasn’t about anyone but us. Maybe in a few years we would get remarried but right now, we are totally fine with the wedding that we planned and had together. It was really nice and at the end of the day, It was about myself, my husband, our sons, and just finally making it official!

What are the must have things you should have for a C-Section?And what are some things that you really don’t need.

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As someone who has had two Cesarean sections, one being unplanned and another scheduled, it is familiar territory for me to know how to recover. While they both had recoveries that were night and day in their differences, due to laboring with one and not the other, the recovery still were similar in terms of, yes, a c-section is a major surgery. With my unplanned I had 0 idea or thought that my birth could even end that way. It did and I was as unprepared as possible. I talk about the differences between unplanned and planned csections here. These are things that I made sure I had the second time around, or even didn’t need both times that may just be a cash grab for trying to get you to spend more money.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com

A belly binder is something that people feel the need to have. For me, I couldn’t imagine anything remotely tight around my middle. People like this to apparently hold your incision as you move and bend, others say it helps the belly go back to place? I’ve read that when it comes to healing doing nothing is better. As someone who just followed the basics with their incisions, both mine healed well. The big things were to 1) make sure that you keep your incision clear/dry. So after a shower once you have the bandage off, make sure laying on your back if you are larger, like myself, to have a dry face cloth to gently run alone to make sure that it is dry. This helps prevent infection and 2) make sure that you don’t over do it. This is so that you don’t accidentally twist the wrong way to hurt yourself. If you aren’t careful you could be doing something that could seriously hurt your healing process and become a major set back to prolong the recovery. As easy going as my second section was, I was still reminding myself that “Yes, I did have major surgery, be careful” to make sure I didn’t cause any set backs.

I will also state too, I never had a wound vac with either incision. My first I don’t think it was really a thing, and with my second I declined it. This is a battery pack that lasts about a week and goes in your incision to better heal yourself? However there is no real research that it really aids healing or if its just there. You have to also meet certain criteria to have this. While I declined my reasoning was that I did not want to have to deal with going back to the hospital or a doctor to have it removed after the week. I already had enough appointments I did not want to have anymore either.

For more hand made plastic canvas creations, or customs, please click the photo so we can be in touch!

High waist-ed underwear was a must. Lucky for me, I always wore high-waisted underwear because I have a belly and with low rise they felt like they really pushed my gut up. If you don’t have any though I strongly recommend getting a few pairs because the last thing you want is anything irritating your scar as it heals. Not only is it annoying but it could irritate it a lot. Which again could hinder the healing. Some people swear by the mesh underwear, I actually hated them. I found they were rough and very tight which was the last thing that I wanted.

Pain medications are a must. Since I am in Canada I’m not entirely sure what else where does BUT for us here this is what they do. So in the hospital I was given Neproxen (I think how you spell it!), and Ibuprofen. With my first section I went to the drug store after to see if I can get Neproxen. They didn’t really have any and what they did wasn’t even worth the headache. And I just basically took Advil. Extra strength, 2 tablets to make 1000mg every 6 hours. The thing with healing as crummy as it sounds is moving. If you can move around within your limits obviously, then you will have a speedier recovery. The other key is whatever you are taking to help with pain, take it on the proper time frames. Even for a few days. If you wait for the pain to be back it will take a lot longer to manage that after it hurts than it is to take pain medications as a preventative measure. With my unplanned Cesarean section, I took Advil extra strength every 6 hours for the first week or so, and then a little bit at night time because I found that to make the pain feel stronger from moving and getting back to a routine. With my scheduled Cesarean section, I took it every 6 hours which was for the first 4 or 5 days after coming home from the hospital.

Loose clothes is also a must too. Those low rise jeans can wait, trust me. Again with the high waisted underwear, you do not want to have anything rubbing against it. Think when you have a cut somewhere and you have something that is rubbing and lint and stuff sticking to it. This is no different except it goes across your entire belly.

And lastly, thank me later, though this is more so if you have a planned one and you can start taking directly after your section, some sort of stool softner! The last thing you want is to be “pushing” and having your belly aching preventing you. If your having a scheduled section you can start taking it a few days ahead to help things get a bit loose. If you have an unplanned, start taking it while in the hospital and then days at home too. This was such a life saver and it was something I probably never have thought about until I was on the toilet straining. Hormones after and even during pregnancy really put your digestive system out of wack.

Hopefully some of these are things you may not have thought of, whether your sitting in your hospital bed recovering or you are trying to search how to make your scheduled one go more pleasant. I know for me, I was thankful I had this information the first time after it all happened, and even the 2nd when I knew what was happening long before it did!

How I plan to raise our Boys into respectable young men.

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If you were to ask me 5 years ago, if I were to have 3 kids the answer would have been hopefully yes. Having 3 kids was always the plan for my husband and myself. If you were to also ask if I were to have 3 boys, I may have also said Yes. Call me crazy, but I’ve never been someone that seen myself having a daughter. Obviously it goes without saying we love all of our kids regardless of gender. We decided to have 3 kids and the gender was never important. Which is probably why we never had gender disappointment (which I talk more about in this particular blog here). But for some reason, I never seen myself as a girl parent. My parents used to say “be careful you might end up with a daughter like you!”, mostly because I was a bratty kid. Well the joke is on them I have a son that is pretty much like me!

Our 3rd fella we welcomed into the world in July of 2023!

With raising kids, there is some values you want to enforce. Morals that you, yourself follow and want to raise them to know and hopefully also follow too. Regardless of gender. Thought for myself there are some really enjoyable and practical ways I want to help my sons grow up to be the best that they can be while knowing that they are so very loved and supported.

Respect themselves, us, everyone is probably the top of my list. Aside from the typical “respect your elders”. That is a very blanket and old term that doesn’t always need to be said. Let’s face it, there are some elders that I have met in my life that I literally don’t respect for some way, shape or form. I can be civil because I’m an adult. But that doesn’t mean I need to respect everyone. One thing I never really did as a child was respected my parents. I mean I did to some extent but I also didn’t at the same time. I thought their rules were too much and they were too strict. Though as an adult I know why they did these things. I also want my sons to respect themselves. They are valuable. And respecting each other. Even now, as small as they are, they have such different personalities. They are more than likely not going to agree on things and that is totally okay. They don’t have to. But they do need to respect each other. Having 3 of them, being so young, and already so vastly different personalities, the chance of the three of them agreeing on all things is probably very low.

I want to raise my sons to also help others. Not at their own expense of course because they are valuable but also to help people who are in need. Especially their wives or girlfriends or spouses (since we obviously don’t know who they are attracted to now!). I want to hopefully have them be caring to not only others, but also their partners in all walks of life. Even as teenagers they should know that we treat others, especially the ones we love with care and compassion. As someone who has survived a domestic violence relationship when I was a teenager, I talk more about it here, I can without a doubt tell you that his Mom didn’t really teach him that much, and if she did at one point she has to have given up because he was a handful. I don’t want my sons to turn up like that sad excuse for a human being. It’s so important to me that they understand that they shouldn’t be hurting anyone, physically, mentally, financially, or emotionally. And I also want them to understand too, that they shouldn’t let anyone treat them that way either. Their happiness is valuable and anyone who tries to diminish that is not worth their time! I want to be an open door that if this is happening, they can feel safe enough to tell me about this and we can figure out a way to make sure they are as far away from that relationship as possible.

So thankful to have met this man who not only treats me right but can help guide our sons also on the paths of right, respect, and fun!

I want my kids, who just so happen to be sons, to also know that our home is a safe space. If they are ever in a situation where they need help they can call myself or my husband. Growing up I was intimidated by my parents. And while there was for sure some sketchy situations I wouldn’t have called them. In fact, I never told them about the abuse by my ex in my teenage years because he threatened to tell them I smoked cigarettes. I know. Wild right? Like they would actually care more about that than getting me away from them. But to me that was worse. I don’t want my sons to ever feel like they can’t talk about anything with us. Even if whatever it is doesn’t make us happy, they can always talk to us and that door is open. I also half envision our home being the central point when they have friends and are teenagers but that’s a while away though. I want to show them that we are a fun spot and everyone is welcomed in this space as long as they too respect our rules. It’s another reason why as they grow older I wont be hiding the fact that yes, I do smoke weed as their mom.

While I would raise any gender children I have with a lot of the similar values and morals, there is a double standard surrounding sons that they need to be tough or emotionless. As a parent, it is up to us to break that. They are allowed to be strong and brave and also showing a softer side too. I want our boys to understand that they don’t need to put on a brave face. Or that they don’t need to pretend everything is okay if it isn’t. Nothing is too small or big to overcome and that doesn’t mean being stone cold about it. Being a man doesn’t mean not being able to cry either. And they will know that through and through too!