Growing up I never in my life thought I would breastfeed my kids. I never grew up around breastfeeding mothers. I never knew anyone who really did it. Fast forward to when I actually became pregnant with our first child I wanted to be open minded. I would try breastfeeding but if I went to formula I was totally fine. I would be totally fine. Thankfully my husband, boyfriend at the time though was supportive of whichever decision came about. he never pressured me into one way or another even when formula was skyrocketing in price. I was lucky to have literally no pressure to breastfeed my children.
To make a long story short, I fucking hated every minute of breastfeeding. I talk more in depth about it in the blogs here if you want to also check out how I feel about them too. It’s just something that wasn’t for me.
Stigma surrounding formula feeding is one that has got to go in this day and age. Formula has such an advancement that while there is some debate on “how” much better breastmilk “truly” is, the difference ain’t enough to make a difference. You aren’t going to have a smarter or faster kid due to them being breast fed. In fact, I’ve frequently seen breastfed babies sick just as often as formula fed babies. Parenting is hard, and we don’t need another rift between parenting groups as in which way to feed your child is superior over the other one. That’s completely ignoring the fact of medical issues and inability to breastfeed being the cause to choose formula. Factors beyond some of our control.
Being a formula feeding parent is a struggle. While breastfeeding parents seem to have the occasional look by whipping out their boob. Sometimes being more of a parents issue with being self conscious than the act itself, it seems to be that most people are faced with the dirty looks when they pull that bottle from their bag. It’s as if people who formula feed are putting some poison into their babies. “Does it suck if a recall happens?”, is a phrase I would get often and see on parenting groups. Absolutely. Are formula prices particularly here in Canada outrageous? Yes. But at the end of the day I don’t think if I was personally to stick to breastfeeding I would have felt any better as a parent, if anything I would have likely suffered from more mental health issues than I even wanted to admit I had to start. I personally felt like formula feeding was incredibly freeing as a parent.
With my first, the major issue that made me switch was he had jaundice. Because of this drinking any milk is a big deal. The more poop a baby has helps jaundice to pass. With breastfeeding especially your first, it can take a bit for milk to actually come in. And whole the “liquid gold” colostrum is important, it isn’t always filling. I was also told by many people including medical staff that a baby had to basically be glued to my tit for literally every hour max 2 hours. This is one of the incredibly toxic mindsets with breastfeeding. The fact is giving a bottle of formula to a baby in the early stages do that Mom can get some sleep is not going to make or break which ever journey you choose in feeding your baby. As long as you have some solid sleep in your schedule to help you heal and mentally be aware. I even talk about some of the toxic parenting things to look out for here.
The reasons why a family chooses to formula feed vary from family to family. I can nearly guarantee that every single reason is none of anyone’s fucking business. And if this offended you it’s likely because you asked someone and maybe got an odd answer. There are various reasons from medical to mental health, to simply not wanting to. I hated it. I talk more about that here though. And in hindsight if I were to keep going I would have likely had more issues mentally. While people paint the picture of breastfeeding being wonderful and great. They don’t paint the picture with cracked and bleeding nippers, mastitis, wet shirts, and various other issues too. At the end of the day it really isn’t important why anyone else but the family involved knows why they decided to formula feed. And this doesn’t include family who isn’t the babies parents. Sorry grandparents, it also isn’t your decision to be involved either.
In case your wondering why I am just so vocal about this, it’s because in today’s day and age, not many are. Formula feeding with babies is such a taboo term. To the point that women and parents will use a random strangers milk from Facebook market places to feed their children. As if people in this world are entirely truthful. And while breastfeeding advocates want to toot that they have a “special” bond with their kids, I’d beg to differ that bond is no different than any parent feeding a child. Whether a boob or bottle is in their mouth you are still feeding your baby and that is the bond they see. Which I believe is a tactic used to pressure women into breastfeeding even if they just don’t want to or are physically unable to. So much so that I had to also write about the people using strangers boob juice to feed their kids.
If your someone who struggles with formula feeding, please browse my other blogs. Just because we are flooded and pressured to breastfeed, doesn’t mean there isn’t anyone in your corner !! While I didn’t have the agonizing pressure some people do from loved ones, I still felt it from society and other parents. At the end of the day you choose what is best for your family, and any way you feel your baby is the right way!
Stacey J. Girard 