Tag Archives: Breasstfeeding vs Formula Feeding

Society and Breastfeeding, A Toxic Mindset

It may come as no surprise that I am basically a formula feeding advocate. All you hear about is breastfeeding this, breastfeeding that. But you never hear about formula feeding and when you to is is nearly always frowned upon. I’ve even wrote blogs about formula feeding made easy, and why we decided to formula feed. But no one really cares. As soon as they see someone choosing to not breastfeed they immediately throw this judgement into your face about how you could possible not do one of the most beautiful things on the planet (gag). For some yes, that may be true, but for others the exact opposite. There’s nothing wrong with breastfeeding or bottle feeding. Fed is best. It is totally normal to have different feelings in regards to breastfeeding. No feelings are invalid. Some people absolutely love breastfeeding, others hate it, and others tolerate it because everyone around them pressures them into doing it. Even if they are not in the “Loving it” fan club.

Photo by Wendy Wei on Pexels.com

The problem is that many people, society as a whole, friends and family, medical professionals, and many more are trying to push that breastfeeding should and is the only way to properly feed a baby. Fed is best and there are endless reasons why someone may not want to breastfeed. We shouldn’t be judging their reasons and or making snide comments about what we think is best or guilt tripping parents into doing something they absolutely hate. The fact is it really doesn’t matter the reason why someone chooses not to breastfeed or why they choose to do it. For me, in a nut shell, my oldest had jaundice, I was afraid he wasn’t getting enough and I wanted to do formula. It also gave my husband a great opportunity to also bond and feed our son. With our second I went straight to formula and it was the best thing I have ever done. My mental health matters.

One of the worst things I literally hate hearing is how breastfeeding creates a stronger bond. Maybe from a mother’s perspective, but from a baby, whether you are giving them a bottle or a boob you are still feeding them. Sure, maybe if you are breastfeeding you may feel a bond more so than a bottle because they are literally suckling on your ya know. But to a baby you literally are both feeding a baby except different ways. Saying this to people who don’t or even can’t breastfeed is the toxic to say. Implying that breastfeeding is how to have a “better” bond with a child is nearly almost always going to be said as a dig towards the other parent. Parents can bond with their children in so many ways there is no one size fits all here. If I am being totally honest both of my kids have been formula fed. And both of them stick to both my husband and myself like glue. I don’t think the device or method of feeding them had any influence on whether or not this bond is there.this is like saying that if one parent feeds them, and another bathes them that whoever does which the child likes more maybe feeding lets say, will like that parent more. It’s wrong.

Unless you are literally only breastfeeding. No pumping. No saving milk. No milk catchers. No nothing. Breastfeeding can, and will become expensive also. I’m not going to compare it to formula because the vast differences between formulas to how you breastfeed too. But saying breastfeeding is cheaper is not necessarily true. Especially if you are in fact pumping and you need to replace parts every so often due to their wear. And at the end of the day. There is literally people on this planet who may want to breastfeed and are physically incapable of doing so. Saying comments like it is cheaper is not even true sometimes and formula may be cheaper depending on the circumstances too. At the end of the day. Unless you are literally only putting a baby to your boob, you MAYBE saving money that way. But also keep in mind, the mother breastfeeding also will have to be eating a few more calories to make up for what they are giving out with breastmilk. So even still, whether you choose to breastfeed, pump, or formula feed, there is going to be some cost involved with feeding a baby. You can even do formula and breastfeed too. There are literally numerous ways to feed a newborn and a child and more than half of those ways in some way, shape, or form will be costing some amount of money.

Better than formula. Sure. Most people know to some extent that yes. Breast milk is “better”. But that doesn’t mean that it always is. We live in 2023. Saying that formula is horrible or not good is just wrong. Medical advances and formula changing is just as capable of sustaining a baby for growth. There are even people who breastfeed and their breast milk has very low nutritional value. And yes, in some cases formula would be better than breast milk. But again this is a very, very wrong statement to keep making. Especially when a mother knows that they wanted or should or whatever be breastfeeding and for some reason (Again one that is no-ones business) don’t. Whether it be physical, mental, or even both. This is such a harmful statement that saying it doesn’t really help anyone in the process.

Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

At the end of the day, There is no right or wrong way to feed a baby. The stigma around breastfeeding and formula feeding being such a “lower” standard needs to end. We should be helping out our fellow parents and not bashing them for whatever their choices are. There are literally many reasons why people choose to feed their babies the way that they do. And whatever that reason they choose to do it for, that is up to them to decide! Period.

Normalize Formula Feeding Again

When I was growing up, It was so rare to have or know someone who breastfed their children. Ironically enough, It seemed there was a lot more stay at home moms who never worked also too. This was in the 90’s. To be fair, I don’t think I could name a single one of my friends who had siblings that I can remember ever having them breastfed. I don’t even remember if their mom’s pumped either. It was all about formula feeding at that time.

Fast forward to 2020, I had a child in that year and many of my friends have been having kids for a while before that. A lot of the times you hear about them breastfeeding. Which was almost unheard of when we were growing up. What changed? In the time when I was born to the time when I was having kids, something had to have changed to have such a shift in how we feed our children.

Before I go into my own opinion Chrissy Teigen said it best.
Here is the link to the original tweet and a screen shot for all you folks who don’t want to click away : https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/1333097266710679552 (Not to mention she doesn’t even have Twitter anymore?

I totally understood this for sure. She is not wrong. Something has changed in the last however many years that has made breastfeeding seem to bee superior to formula feeding. There is no doubt that breastfeeding probably has a FEW MORE nutrients then a formula however it is 2020 and I am sure that there are so many advances that they basically are super similar also.

A friend of mine had a child 2 months before we had our son. Her and her husband decided to start with formula right from the beginning. She had mentioned when she gave birth in the hospital that they were a little bit judgey in the sense of “Oh you aren’t going to try breast feeding”. It was pressured in the very beginning which I also had noticed as well. This was a decision that her and her husband had decided on and they were completely pushed back on their decision by these little comments.

When I had given birth to our son, I wanted to try breastfeeding. I wanted to at least give it a go. Early on our son had a small heart beat issue which sorted itself out however we had to stay in the hospital for an extra day because of this. Then we came home for a day due to them kind of lying about us not leaving, And then we went back for 24 hours since he had a bit of jaundice and had to be under lights for 24 hours. We then went home for another day and went back to check up on him that he was doing well and his levels were fine. Now I know, There is so many more health issues that children and babies can have, But for me as a first time mom staying in the hospital alone (My boyfriend went home at night to sleep, stock up on our supplies, and be with our dog) it was a lot. After begin up every 3 hours and him feeling a bit helpless due to obviously not being to help a whole lot with feedings especially, we decided that on the weekend we would go to formula. It helped a lot and I think our sanity was saved a bit. When we went back to the hospital for the check up after his jaundice things, We again were met with a bit of eye rolls when mentioned we had switch to formula.

Being a new parent is stressful. To say the least. Are they fed enough? Are they clean and happy? Are they okay physically? When you have made a decision on whether or not you will breastfeed your baby and are met in the hospital with resistance and a bit of shaming as well it certainly does not make you feel very good. Especially if you and your spouse have thought and made this decision together only to hear it met with such rolling eyes and questions as to why you aren’t doing it.

I stopped breast feeding because it legit stressed me out. From my child being in the hospital more than expected I was worried he wasn’t drinking enough and that isn’t good. It was a lot of pressure just on me and not my boyfriend (not that I want him to have more pressure but you know what I mean). We stopped because I was running on fumes being up in the hospital alone for some time. Once we did this I think some stress did go away that is for sure.

People need to stop thinking “Breast is Best”. Sure it may be a bit more nutrients however there is no right or wrong way. A baby fed is the best. There are many different reasons why someone may not want to choose the breast feeding route. Maybe they are unable to produce enough and supplement with formula, Maybe they have to go back to work due to bills and are unable to breastfeed. They may choose to use formula because they had to use a surrogate and aren’t able to produce milk themselves. Or maybe, just maybe they choose formula because it suits their needs better.

For me, with baby number 2. I may decide to try breastfeeding again. If it wasn’t for me the first time maybe I would have learned a lot before the 2nd child and feel more confident in my abilities. Breastfeeding is hard and there is a lot of tricks to make it successful. I do know that if I decide to breastfeed and switch to formula though, I wont be as hard on myself for making the switch as I did this time. It felt like I was a bit of a failure by switching to formula when I said I would try the breast in the beginning. And if it doesn’t work a second time around I know that I can say I tried. Sometimes formula just better suits a lifestyle or family more than breastfeeding.

All I know for certain, is just because someone may breastfeed or formula feed shouldn’t make them any different. Mom’s who breastfeed shouldn’t look down on mom’s who formula feed and vice versa. Fed is Best, regardless of method.

Do you have kids? If so have you tried breast feeding or formula? Or both?

Let me know in the comments below!


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