If anyone can say that are addicted to sugar I am one of them. I’m writing this as more of a self loathing piece but also as a hand out stretched to others who may also be feeling the same way that I do. I know that I am not alone here and maybe by writing about it others too can feel some solidarity. It is not something that is in our head, an addiction to sugar is a very real addiction.

If you are anything like me, cutting out sugar is just unrealistic and you will do alright for a few days and then you will bounce back eating just as much sugar as you did in one sitting as you did for the few days you stuck to your cutting back. This is me. 

It starts like this, the sugar cycle if you will. It starts normally with a major binge. And I’m not talking like we had a bowl of chips and a chocolate bar type of binge. I’m taking about 3 Aero bars, maybe some gummy bears, a bowl of ice cream or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, maybe even a second helping. Then I have NEARLY instant regret as I feel my stomach turning and the worst part is this is normally in the evening so I am also heading to bed soon. By doing this so late (or even at all) I know I will have a restless sleep and I wont be good the next morning because again, I will feel over stuffed (because I am). The next day I dont even want to think about food until the mid day because I am that full from the night before. And sometimes it will repeat for a few days and sometimes it ends there and I do alright with sugar for the next few days.

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If this sounds anything like you, know that you are not alone. For some reason I associate this type of junk food with happiness. Never do I really eat when I’m feeling bad. Normally I won’t have a need or feel for junk. But when I feel happy I feel like eating this crap like it makes me feel better? It never does.

They say that sugar addiction can be just as hard to curb as something similar to harder drugs like methamphetamine or even cocaine. I would agree with this. It can be just as damaging also though maybe in ways you may not see like you would a meth addict. But in long term illnesses that creep up after years and years. It can even ruin your teeth also. Coming off of sugar or drastically cutting back can also have am effect on yourself too. I know for me, when I begin to cut back or limit my sugar intake I tend to have some sort of headache from not having anything. Not to mention it makes me cranky and I am always thinking about what I will eat and when too. Or even thinking about a binge where I will randomly order junk food for delivery and then really eating all of the junk food in the house. And before anyone says, “Why do you even have that in your house”. I believe in self control even if I have none sometimes. I want to have it around because if it wasn’t I know that I would be far worse than I am now.

So where does that leave us? Where does that leave me? Continue to keep this deadly (eventually) cycle going? End all sugar and risk binging and bouncing back? No. This is a moment when I take control of my life. I need to be mindful and take care of my body. For multiple reasons. And it starts today.

From this day forward, I am going to make more mindful, and conscious decisions about the sugar I consume. I will limit when I have it. Meaning I am going to so my very best to not binge after 8pm. Maybe even 7pm also too. Setting this limit will hopefully be a great way to limit sugar since more often than not it seems to be night when I tend to do my binging. And primarily on sugar. I am also keeping track of calories again. I need to lose weight and everyone knows sugar is not going to make that happen. This wont happen overnight. I know also that. There will be slip ups. That is okay. I will learn, and move on. I let days snowball when I have a bad one and I need to let them just end. Not gathering more days from self hatred.

What I wont be doing is actually counting the grams of sugar that I consume. Why? Because I already have a minor obsession with weighing myself that I am afraid if I add something else in terms of counting or monitoring I will drive myself crazy. And let’s be honest here, do I really need to know that in a can of pop or a chocolate bar that there is too much sugar for me to be eating multiple? No. So by adding more for me to keep track of it is only going to make my mindset paranoid about whether or not I am eating too much or too little.

Now. Let’s be mindful. Be strong. We can beat this addiction just as many before us have done and many after us have done. It wont happen instantly. It wont even happen fast. But the reward at the end is so much better and the time will be worth it!