Before I begin, I want to make it clear this is mostly talking about the pre-tinder days. I am sure that they all apply though the same, since I assume each dating app or site all function basically the same way. It is just a matter of trying to apply this to another spot. The site that I once used was called Plenty of Fish which I am sure is still up, however how popular it is I really don’t know since you can do everything you want on a website simply on your phone.
I was about 16 when I first tried to dabble in the online dating scene. I never admitted it to my parents though because they would never be too happy. Not to mention if I remember correctly you had to be over the age of 18 in order to even sign up which I was not. I could have even been a bit older like 17 or so but I know I was not just 18 that is a fact. When I went online the first time I wanted to meet people and be a bit risky. I never was interested in guys from my school and they weren’t interested in me. I had to go to different spots in order to meet different people. I smoked weed and wanted the person I was dating to also smoke weed. I wanted them to have their own place and also for them to smoke cigarettes too since I also smoked those. I really had no standards what so ever I just knew I wanted to have some typical “bad boy” to be my boyfriend. I had absolutely nothing in regards to standards or how I wanted to be treated either. And low and behold I got exactly that. A person who treated me like garbage, was a couch surfer and didn’t even work half the time just mooched off the government for whatever reason too. He was by far the worst relationship I will probably ever been in during my entire life.
You would think this would scare me off of dating. I was now 20 and still thought I would go back online. When I talked about it with my friends they all would make jokes about how the only thing they even encountered there was people who were only looking for sex would be there and everyone was creeps. No one ever talked about how they found someone they wanted to be in a relationship with. I would like to think the second time that I went on that site I was more mature and actually had standards for myself. I knew after coming out of a relationship that resembled garbage I wanted to have very high standards. I wanted to find someone who had a job, and I mean not just a little job, Like a career. I wanted them to have a vehicle not because I didn’t but because I knew they would be able to come to me instead of me always taking the bus. I also wanted them to have a place and not one with roommates or anything. Call it what you wanted but this was what I thought I deserved so I made sure that was what I found.
How I meant my currently boyfriend was on the same site, Plenty of Fish. He had just moved to Halifax in the August and we had met I believe end of September or early October. He had his own apartment and a car, and he worked for the government. I feel incredibly lucky to have met him when I did I feel like someone would have scooped him up. Dating him was weird at first since he paid for meals and movies, he picked me up and treated me to different things. It was a nice change of pace from the previous a-hole I was with before. Something I always have remembered is that when I asked him what made him interested in my profile I had something along the lines of “I have a job, I don’t need your money and I wont be giving you mine” because I was basically supporting my ex while he sat on his butt milking the government for whatever money he could get.
Now as I mentioned before, I never was dating during the tinder or whatever apps are out there. However I feel like this applies to all of the dating helpers across the board. Dating apps and websites are just what you want them to be. They are tools in meeting someone and they are something that if you go in to it looking for a one night stand chances are that is what you would find. For me if someone was creepy or weird I simply blocked them so contact was done and I would move on to the next person. I went into online dating twice. First time standards low and found a piece of poop type of a guy. Second time I went in with high standards and here i am with the man 10 years later with a few pets and our son. If you are looking for a relationship then chances are you can actually find one.
Some tips I would suggest:
– Be honest and upfront. If you want kids or marriage, say it. If you don’t want either or only one of them, say it. When we started dating as any relationship we were pretty much on board with what we wanted in life.
– Don’t keep the website or app if you want this to be a serious relationship. When my boyfriend and I were getting serious and official we both de-activated our accounts at the same time together to show we were over it. If you are serious you wont need to have that still, You can always get it back and it kind of shows you are closing that online dating scene door and looking forward.
– Don’t waste time on “Maybe’s”, If someone doesn’t know what they want chances are you won’t help them get there.
– If possible, Do a video chat before meeting. Mind you I never met or seen my current boyfriend before we met in person. But as a general rule this was something we followed. And in the very least, chat on the phone first. That way you can at least hear different tones and what not.
– Have your guard up against cat-fishing people. If they are asking for money or you to pay things. Decline and block. Don’t let them get close or it will only end in hurt.
– As a no brainer, ALWAYS meet in a public place when having meetings, Don’t meet in shady parts of town and make sure it is a place where there will be a lot of traffic so you aren’t stuck, And in the same line, tell someone what you are doing in case something happens too!
Hopefully this helps!
And how have you met your significant other?
Was it online?
Was it in person?
Let me know in the comments below!
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