I know, sounds simple right? But what about when they do something you don’t want them too? I am just as guilty of saying no to my kids just like any other person. But I know saying it repeatedly will cause problems as they get older. Let’s talk about all the ways to not say No to your kids, oh yeah, and I wont take no for an answer!
One of the major reasons why you should not be saying no to your kids is because they are parrots. As you know, when they start to learn and grow they will begin to repeat everything and anything. Currently my oldest is repeating things like “Oh shoot” or “Oh No”. And that only keeps growing and growing and growing. There are times he will repeat something that I have said and it surprises me to no end because I did not expect to hear it AT ALL! If you are a parent, or even care giver or family member or friend, and you always just say “No” to your child, pretty soon they will start saying it to you! Pick up your cup please. NO. Come over here. NO. You get my point. I wont leave you hanging though. These are some of the things and examples that I say to my now 2 year old but have been saying for a while! Is there situations where I do flat out say No? Yes. Mainly when I have tried every other way and he continues to do something that is maybe unsafe or he should not be doing like picking at the cat or the dog or annoying his little brother who is trying to sleep!
“We need to be safe okay, be careful”. This is something I say when my son is adventurous. Since he has been growing in height he has been more and more interested in looking out the front window. By doing this he stands on the rad and peeks out. Now has he slipped and fell? A little. But if I kept saying no he would want to do it more. And would do it carelessly without being safe. If he is exploring I dont want to stop him but also want him to be cautious! I also will say something along the lines of “I dont want to see you get hurt, Okay?” that way he knows that I am saying this because I do not want to see him be hurt by accidentally slipping. Hes a child, he isnt making himself get hurt for a reason, but just like in life, accidents DO happen!
**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.
Redirection IS YOUR FRIEND. This is another key way for me to get my son to stop doing something he is, that I dont want him to do. Maybe he is throwing the toys around which obviously is never encouraged. But it was pretty easy to see whenever he was told to stop and no to throwing he did it even more! Redirection doesn’t always work and sometimes you may need to change it up. If my son is having a meltdown one of the first things that we do is we try to ignore the behavior. After this goes on for so long we then try to redirect him. Maybe he is into his light up cars and ask him to bring them. Maybe we ask him to help us pick up a few toys. Something to redirect his attention. Does this work every time? No. But it can be a good fix instead of waiting and seeing what happens. There are some moments that the best thing to do is just wait and see though. And there will even be some moments that just breathing or talking to him will make him even more mad for whatever reason. We just roll with the punches.
And finally. Yes. There are moments when I do say no to my kids. Is it all the time? No. But when I do say No finally I like to think that it is when there has been multiple times that I try redirection or be careful or safe and when I say No it is normally the end of the line and the end of being all nice. If I end up saying No it means I am serious and that whatever behavior needs to stop. Whether it is throwing toys or a tantrum. I say this and if it makes him cry or have a tantrum more, I ignore the behavior. I let it run the course and typically after there is no more engaging the behavior stops.
I think regardless of method, Or how you choose to stop saying No to your kids, there is so many solutions. Something I also say is Enough. This is one of the last things I always say and my son knows when I get to this point I am serious and the behavior stops now. Sometimes I even pick him up and put him on the couch where he will scream for another few moments because I removed him from the situation (Think, picking at books and ripping the pages) and he understands that this is the end of the line I have reached the point where we are not trying to play games at this moment. Because after all, most kids think when you tell them no it is some sort of game they need to keep defying you about!
You will find your own way of doing things, even if it takes a bit to get used to or to do it regularly!