Before I begin, I want to say this is something that I had asked the people on the app “Peanut”. This is an app where mothers sign up and can meet other moms around their towns and essentially become friends and hang out (Not a sponsor). However for me I felt it was far too overwhelming and in typical fashion I stopped using the app. I did however ask a question to the community, that question was “What is something you wish people told you about pregnancy or birth”. These are some responses and once the other parts become active I will be posting them below with links. And you are more than welcome to check them out yourself too!
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 1
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 3
One subject someone said was the decreased sex drive while breast feeding. This could be strongly because while in the first few weeks and months after the birth of your child, if you choose to breastfeed, you will spend a lot of your time with them attached to your chest. Maybe you are pumping for relief though so others can also feed your little one however if you are exclusively breastfeeding you will be spending a lot of your energy with them attached to your breast. Which obviously to some extent will make you maybe not have the sex drive you once had before giving birth.
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How long to feel normal varies from person to person however it does not happen over night. If I remember correctly I feel like giving birth vaginally made it so that I was able to feel normal a whole lot sooner than it did when I had a c-section birth. I even went as far as talk about the two difference between them in a blog here and I also talk about how there were challenges that I had to overcome with having a c-section in this blog post here. The fact is giving birth to another human has a lot of challenges. However no one prepares you to ever have to wait a long time to feel normal and healed or even yourself again. When will it stop hurting when you walk up the stairs? Who knows but that is something to think about as well. And if you take longer to feel normal compared to your friends who have had kids there is absolutely nothing wrong with it taking longer or maybe quicker. Times vary from person to person.
What to buy what not to can be a bit subjective. In the fact that what someone might recommend might not be needed for other families and whatever. That being said, I know someone out there needs to hear that, there is NO NEED to over buy every single toy you see on the shelf or every single type of shirt, pants or outfit on the rack. If you have enough clothes to go through a week without doing laundry or even a few spare clothes because accidents do happen, you do not need everything under the sun. You will find that as your child ages there is also people who will be buying different things that will continue to fill up your home. I’m not saying don’t buy anything just ask yourself if you need it. For the most part my children have so many toys from friends and family and holidays that I even hide half of them in the other room and swap them out every few months so that they have new things to play with and it is a surprise too.
Second hand shops save money as well as Facebook market place. There are some specific things I wouldn’t buy from those places like maybe stuffed animals because at the time some things may be hard for cleaning purposes however if it is a plastic toy or something that you can clean regularly there is so many things that people can re-use instead of buying new. And if you want to get some sort of savings or even be a family with toys every where (guilty) then this is a great way to save money.
How lonely it gets is something that I dont personally thing that I feel a lot however I do understand it. Especially with Covid and people with babies are trying to limit contact with people outside of their immediate family however it is lonely. When you have multiple kids you might even be finding yourself isolated, and not on purpose, from people who are like minded. Sure it is great to hang with your children all day but it is also important to get out and have adult interactions. I have a spouse who is home nightly who I talk to and I do regularly talk to friends on messenger and things. That being said I am also looking forward to doing things like walking and little play dates in the summer with friends too. It is import to also have your own time whenever possible away from your children even just for some self care.
Drastic hair loss is something I have been fortunate to not have with either of my pregnancy however I have seen the mental damage it has done to people and friends who have encountered this not talked about enough issue. It is something that may happen every pregnancy, maybe one or two of your ones, or maybe it has different varying degrees too. It also has no timeline on how long it will last. I know for myself, as a woman, even though I have thick hair I can empathize with how it would make a woman feel when they have clumps of hair that have fallen out.
As you can see there is multiple things that may seem pretty obvious to others however this is not the case. This is something that maybe by writing these out a new parent may know before the situation arises! And if you are pumped to read this I can’t wait for you to read the other ones when they come out too!