Tag Archives: Parenting Advice

Felix’s First Birthday!

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By the time you read this it will be nearly 3 months after his first birthday. i know I am MAJORLY slacking on this since I was so bang on with my oldest. But as many people do say, better late than never!

I cannot believe my little baby, and I say little lightly because he was not a little baby. Weighing in at 9lbs and 6oz he was nearly 3 pounds heavier than his brother. They also say that having kids time flies. I found having two kids the time flew even faster that I can barely keep up.

Felix has been such a great sleeper I feel like we are so extremely lucky. With being so big he has drank so much formula I’m surprised we don’t have shares in it. Milestones have been happening so incredibly fast too. I think this may be because this little fella is trying to keep up with his bigger brother. The voice too! Felix has such a loud voice and loves to talk to us whenever we are laughing and goofing around.

While it took a little while for Vincent to come around he loves to help his baby brother too. He likes to pass toys or give hugs and things also. He also likes to put dirty diapers in the garbage but not before asking if it is poop or pee first.

Felix has been so different than our first in many ways. Obviously each child is their own but Felix is just the total opposite. He is so mischievous and he tries to really test boundaries. And he is also so much more of a daredevil when it comes to trying to get better at standing and learning to walk too. Soon I feel like you will be running around the house too! As I write this he still hasn’t started solo walking yet but any day now it will be happening I think!

I don’t know if I would compare births and say which was harder. But I will say this was a hard birth in so many different ways. I talk more in detail about how it was challenging here. You made me see a different side of having a baby that I was so totally not ready to see. I knew nothing about a c-section and I knew nothing about recovery either. You made me really take in the moments and slow down because I had no other choice but to do so!

You have your blonde hair and blue eyes still peeping out in to the world. You laugh when we tickle your under arms and thighs just like your brother did. But yet you are both so very different. You have grown so much and are nearly the same size as Vincent. Having you though has made us feel like you have brought so much to us. I know that as you get older and play more Vincent also likes that too. Though he is still not a huge fan when you take his toys and don’t share though to be fair he doesn’t really always share with you first either! But he is getting better though at it as we do show him that you and him can play together!

I feel like in many ways though we missed out on certain things with you and for that I am sorry. We never really did the photo a week like we did with Vincent but I guess times change and we just never thought about it. Your baby book is a little bit more scarce which is my fault for not being up on that which I know I can do better though! And I feel like we missed milestones with clothes because you grew so dang fast that we had to skip sizes!

Having you, Felix, was a huge blessing and I couldn’t imagine anything different. I am so happy that this past year we have been settled into our new home and made it ours. What I also find mindbogglingly is that eventually you and Vincent will be sharing a room and that is even more terrifying to me too! However you two will have a lot of fun and I’m sure rough sleep nights though due to staying awake and playing.

I am so thankful that you made me your mom and that you have made me see what it was like to be a boy mom (So far) and how you both are growing and interacting with one another. You are so fast and learning so much that it is such a hard belief for me that time really is flying by. I feel like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital and I was getting your dad to bring you up the stairs because I was unable to lift anything other than you! I was on you duty 24/7 because I wasn’t able to lift anything heavier than you, which as heavy as you were seemed like it wasn’t that bad! I hope when we have our 3rd and final baby that you too will follow Vincent and become a second huge helper in the house. You both are so different and so loving that I think you will be the greatest of friends especially since you are not that far apart in age!

I hope to be the best mom for both of you that I can ever be. Teaching you so many things about life and having as much fun as we possibly can too. Your little giggles and smiles are addicting and I light up whenever I hear them. Though I will say, You have brought challenges, ones that haven’t been seen. You do like to bite and you like to fool me by blowing kisses into my arm like fart noises and then biting down. That is not so fun haha and I also am constantly cutting your little baby nails that feel like daggers because you like to pinch and especially grab my necklace! Here is to another year and hopefully me actually getting this out NEAR your birthday, and not 3 months later!

Frowned Upon Parenting: Part 4

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The following post has been made thanks to the app Peanut (Not sponsored) where you can ask and interact with communities and groups of fellow Mom’s. One day I had asked one of the groups that I was in something that they would be doing that they know as a fact other mom’s or parents would be frowning upon. These were some of the things they said. For me, I will be also giving my opinion on each of the situations and hopefully you get a chuckle out of them. Some of them I know that I do or will do in my parenting journey, others I completely disagree with.

If you want to see the previous part’s as they are released they will be added here:
Frown Upon Parenting 1
Frown Upon Parenting 2
Frown Upon Parenting 3

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One parent said they would be frowned upon for having a 2 hour screen time daily rule. Now I see absolutely wrong with this personally. I would honestly see more of an issue with 0 screen time. As much as I think limiting the use of technology with children is important, I also think it is important to remember that we live in a world that is very different than when we grew up. We live in a world there there is so many things that can be done virtually that we need to bring up children differently that we were raised. Does that mean kids should be sat in front of a television and their favorite shows turned on for the entire day? No. I think limiting screen time is highly important. I also believe that having some screen time is important as well and would do far more good than absolutely no screen time at all.

*** If you are someone who is really enjoying the blogs and has the financial freedom to want to support this through tips, you are more than welcome to do so by clicking on this link to bring you to my personal Ko-Fi page. Never will you ever be pressured to support in this way however the option is there if you wish to do so! Your continued support regardless of financial or not is greatly appreciated.

One thing that a parent had said that I have absolutely no idea what they were thinking was that they do not vaccinate their children. I could not disagree with this any less even if you paid me to agree with this. There is a reason why there are some childhood illnesses that have basically been eradicated. Vaccinations are a huge part of this. If you are not vaccinating your children based on your own beliefs than I am a firm believer that this should be considered child abuse as you are not providing them medical treatment to prevent further illness. I am also of the belief that if you choose not to vaccinate your children for whatever reason, if they were to get the illness that is preventable by vaccinations than you should be charged with child endangerment for not providing the proper care to prevent them from getting sick. Now I will state if a child has an allergy or a legitimate medical reason to NOT get vaccinations than so be it. Obviously I am not saying to get that done if they are unable to.

This one kind of blew my mind, someone had stated that they actually spoil their children by serving them in their room. The only situation I can remotely see this as being OK would be if maybe they are sick and they need something and you wanted to bring it to them. I will never in my life be found serving my children in their rooms. If they want something, as my mo always said “They have 2 feet and a heartbeat” they can get up and do it themselves. I can only assume these are older kids due to the fact that my son currently enjoys opening and closing his door and has no desire to actually hang out in there so to speak.

Stay up late is kind of one of those things I think it depends on the age of the child. I wouldn’t let my 2 year old stay up til 9 or 10pm because I know he would be hateful and angry and sassy and by that point way too over tired. However I think that yes there are times when they are up a bit later than normal. It happens for sure but regularly no. There is bed times for a reason and just like adults I am sure that we don’t just stay up for the sake of staying up either.

Swearing around them is a tricky subject. As a mom of a late bloomer when it comes to words my now 2 year old at the time of writing has been repeating EVERYTHING to the point where it surprises me what he does repeat. is that to say I don’t swear at all around him? No. There are times that I do swear around him. Sometimes things slip and it happens. I do however make a conscious decision to try NOT to swear in front of him because I know some time down the road he will probably repeat the word and it may not be in a favorable place either!

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Judgemental moms against you is something that I can relate to as well as being a guilty part on that. Though I do believe there should be things that MUST be judged. If you are giving your baby random breast milk from strangers you bet your bottom dollar I will be judging that aspect of your parenting. The fact is that there is so many things parents can judge others on that if we really focused on that we would never get anything done and we would be feeling like a big ol pile of poop. Just like anything in life it is important for us to just focus on ourselves and not focus on what others see.

As you can see there really is a lot of things that parents frown upon others which is why I asked the question and figured that I would be make a mini series of what things parents know to be maybe not the normal lifestyle choices for raising kids! And why not put my own opinions within this too, because you never know how people may feel about these specific circumstances! Was there anything in the list above that you do or know you will have others frown upon your parenting style? Let me know in the comments below, maybe your point will be featured in the next set of Frowned Upon Parenting blogs!

If you would like to purchase the book you are more than welcome to do so here, though the link is for the Canadian site you may need to be redirected to the Amazon sited for your Country to be able to purchase a copy for yourself!

Frowned Upon Parenting: Part 3

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The following post has been made thanks to the app Peanut (Not sponsored) where you can ask and interact with communities and groups of fellow Mom’s. One day I had asked one of the groups that I was in something that they would be doing that they know as a fact other mom’s or parents would be frowning upon. These were some of the things they said. For me, I will be also giving my opinion on each of the situations and hopefully you get a chuckle out of them. Some of them I know that I do or will do in my parenting journey, others I completely disagree with.

If you want to see the previous part’s as they are released they will be added here:
Frown Upon Parenting 1
Frown Upon Parenting 2
Frown Upon Parenting 4

Photo by Markus Spiske on Pexels.com

Cry it out is one of those things that either works or doesnt work for people. Some parents seem to think that it is considered abuse however those same parents it seems tend to complain when their children don’t sleep through the night. For me I see nothing wrong with crying it out as a method to teaching healthy sleep habits, that being said as long as the baby is of a correct age! When my oldest son was 6 months old we decided to do a modified cry it out method. This was because we had moved him to his own crib and wanted him to learn how to put himself to sleep. Was it hard? Incredibly. But in the long run I think it did more good than not doing anything at all. We also plan on doing this the same as we did with our second son once he turns 6 months old. However he has been in his crib for a lot longer due to the fact he is so much larger than my first was and out grew his bassinette in record time!

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!

Another some what controversial subject is consequences for when a child misbehaves. Some parents believe that there should be no consequences. That kids will be kids and let them live and learn. I would like to say that I kind of fall on the spectrum that there should be consequences to some extent. There is of course natural consequences that will happen when a child does something that you really don’t need to intervene about. There is also some after asking a few times to stop doing something that yes, they should have consequences. Life is about learning and if say my oldest hits my youngest there will be some sort of consequence.

Allowed sugar junk food moderation is one that can be seen as horrible. We are of the believe that kids will be kids and obviously I’m not pumping them with 4 chocolate bars in the morning for the entire day but sometimes a treat is needed. As an adult do you not get treats too? Believe it or not there is some families where they do not give any single treats what so ever and well, that is kind of mind blowing for me to think about but that is the case!

One parent had commented that they know they would be frowned upon for giving their kids chores. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, I think the society we live in now, half the problems is that parents do every single thing for their children and don’t instill a sense of responsibility in their children. Growing up when we were able to understand and have some responsibilities we did have chores too. We would get a dollar a day if we completed it and every two weeks my mom would pay us the money. Obviously if you have teens they are fully able to get jobs than allowance would not be given however this was a great way for us to learn how to take care of the house as well as being able to save out money for things that we did like to have. You can fully bet once my son’s are old enough that I will be trying to do the same things with them in hopes to instill the same values!

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Pats on the bum is and will forever be one of the most heated discussions when it comes to raising kids. Especially now a days where it is seen as abuse and chances are when we were growing up we in fact had pats on the bum. I know for myself, I certainly did. I however am hoping to never get to that point with my own kids because I know how it felt to have your bum tanned from doing something bad. Will I say something if another person chooses to do that? No. If someone wants to do old fashioned discipline to their children that is their choice. However there is a fine line between abuse and discipline when it comes to spanking a little ones behind. I just know for myself it is not something that I would want to add to how I teach my children what is write and what is wrong.

As you can see there really is a lot of things that parents frown upon others which is why I asked the question and figured that I would be make a mini series of what things parents know to be maybe not the normal lifestyle choices for raising kids! And why not put my own opinions within this too, because you never know how people may feel about these specific circumstances! Was there anything in the list above that you do or know you will have others frown upon your parenting style? Let me know in the comments below, maybe your point will be featured in the next set of Frowned Upon Parenting blogs!

If you would like to purchase the book you are more than welcome to do so here, though the link is for the Canadian site you may need to be redirected to the Amazon sited for your Country to be able to purchase a copy for yourself!

Frowned Upon Parenting: Part 2

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The following post has been made thanks to the app Peanut (Not sponsored) where you can ask and interact with communities and groups of fellow Mom’s. One day I had asked one of the groups that I was in something that they would be doing that they know as a fact other mom’s or parents would be frowning upon. These were some of the things they said. For me, I will be also giving my opinion on each of the situations and hopefully you get a chuckle out of them. Some of them I know that I do or will do in my parenting journey, others I completely disagree with.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com



If you want to see the previous part’s as they are released they will be added here:
Frown Upon Parenting 1
Frown Upon Parenting 3
Frown Upon Parenting 4

One user said that they send their kids to bed early for more couple time. Now, I totally understand where they are coming from with this. I really do. However I think there is only so early you can put your child to bed. WE still at the time of writing put my oldest for a 2 hour or so nap in the afternoon. He also goes to bed between 630-7pm and is up anywhere from 6am-7am. I can’t picture us trying to put him to bed earlier than that. He would be yelling and hating on everything because he is just not ready. Sometimes he goes closer to 630pm and he does yell for a moment however he very quickly settles and falls asleep though. Putting him to bed any earlier would completely throw off his day though. Even sometimes when he is up a bit later maybe 730pm or closer to 8pm occasionally he is tired and ready for bed with his cues that he demonstrates.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon

Ipad games is something I can understand by letting their kids plan them. My son’s are very small and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t trying to prolong their use of it. However I do understand that there can be a lot of nice educational games to be able to use and play on it though. Currently my oldest son only recognizes that the tablet we do have is used for video chats and things. He doesn’t see it as a game right now either. I do know that in today’s age of children that there is an importance to knowing their way around technology though and that eventually we will be getting to that part.

Swaddling is something that I think is really debatable in terms of how long you are supposed to do it. I did swaddle my first son for longer than the 8 weeks. They say whenever showing the signs of rolling or whether they hit 8 weeks. WE did stop however when he was moving his hands and arms to get out of the swaddle we totally stopped. That being said, with our second son we stopped after a week because the swaddles that we did have were too small and we refused to buy different ones due to him being a bigger baby! I do think there is some value in swaddling especially a very small baby because it makes them comfortable. Though there are some that really don’t like swaddling and that is okay too!


One user had said that they fine unless gentle parenting is the approach being used they think that people see it as abuse. I would have to agree with this statement. I would also like to say I don’t agree with yelling at your kids all of the time. Though I think there is a big difference between raising your voice as apposed to yelling. I know my approach may be a mix of a few things but after explaining something for the first 15 times at some point I will be raising my voice to kind of signify that I mean business. This is in no means a yell but just to let the little ones know that I am serious in asking them not to do something. I think also to some extent that if someone claims to be a “gentle parent” if they were to say they NEVER yell or raise their voice I would almost be questioning them whether or not that is completely true.

Picking up a child for crying right away is something that one user said they have received backlash for also. This was because people believe in letting children cry it out. I think this type of parenting is not necessarily a bad thing however it really depends on the situation. If my son’s trip from running and maybe they only fall to their knees, I know by me reacting and “babying” them it may cause them to believe they are more “hurt” than they actually are. That is not the type of thing that I want to be doing. However if they genuinely have something happening where they may be a bit sore or hurt themselves from a tumble than yes I will be scooping them up and trying to kiss anywhere it hurts to make them feel better! I want them to also learn to soothe themselves and that anytime they may have a little trip they aren’t necessarily hurt by it either!

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As you can see there really is a lot of things that parents frown upon others which is why I asked the question and figured that I would be make a mini series of what things parents know to be maybe not the normal lifestyle choices for raising kids! And why not put my own opinions within this too, because you never know how people may feel about these specific circumstances! Was there anything in the list above that you do or know you will have others frown upon your parenting style? Let me know in the comments below, maybe your point will be featured in the next set of Frowned Upon Parenting blogs!

Circumcision Should Be Banned

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We are on fire with these hot topics lately right? Well buckle up because this is something that I couldn’t agree with more strongly either but here we are. If this blog post makes you uncomfortable, to be blunt, it should. Nothing about this should be comfortable. This is a subject that I think shouldn’t even be a practice, however it is still being done even in Nova Scotia let alone I am sure better parts of the world.

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Circumcision of little boys should be banned across the globe because unless it is performed due to a medical reason, it is genital mutilation for a boy. Plain and simple. I dont care what the reason is unless it is medically suggested for a child to be circumcised so that they are able to lead a normal lifestyle for whatever reason it should never be done. This also includes the ever popular religious reasons as well as the “cleanliness” one also.

*** If you are someone who is really enjoying the blogs and has the financial freedom to want to support this through tips, you are more than welcome to do so by clicking on this link to bring you to my personal Ko-Fi page. Never will you ever be pressured to support in this way however the option is there if you wish to do so! Your continued support regardless of financial or not is greatly appreciated.


There are many reasons (not legitimate) that parents choose this for their little boy. One of those reasons being religion. Now, I know what you are thinking, “But Stacey, is that not a legitimate reason”. My short answer is No. Using religion in 2022 to base a reason to permanently mutilate your child’s penis is not a reason to do it. Again, if medically necessary sure. This is something I believe to be the only acceptable reason to have the procedure completed. Religion is fine for folks, I understand that people need it in their lives, what I dont think is it needs to be used as a reason to cut the excess skin from a babies penis so that it is permanently removed. This includes all religions also, not just specific ones. If a religion has something where they can do this regardless of which, it should not be allowed.



Another reason that you see often is cosmetic. They want it done because it “looks” better. Does it though? Does it really? This is such a poor, sad, excuse. Did you know that there are so many tiny nerve endings in a foreskin. When it is removed those endings are also removed, they are not moved or replaced they are gone. Thus a little boy loses sensation to some extent on how it feels when they are pleasured in that area. Is this something that should be allowed in today’s day and age? And before someone says “But they can have a surgery to try and replace it as adults blah blah blah”. Sure they do have one, but it will never replace the original skin that was there.

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Another reason is people are lead to believe that removing it makes a penis cleaner. I can say will full confidence, my two son’s are not circumcised because I obviously am against permanently mutilating my son’s for the rest of their lives. If they choose as adults to want to get it done sure, they can do what they please, but for me as a mother I will not be making that decision unless it was medically suggested to me by a medical professional. I also can say with full confidence that there is no extra added measures that I have ever had to do to keep my son’s penis cleaned. There is no added work to be done, books to read, or help hotlines to call (Maybe the last isn’t really a thing but you get it). Using this reason is a pathetic excuse to do a barbaric and outdated practice for your little one.

Another thing I have seen online and I am looking at you spouses, “I let my husband/spouse make the decision because he has the penis and I dont” WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?? You both have this child and your opinion is just as important as your partner’s regardless of who has the body parts or not. Don’t ever think that you dont have a reason to have a say in this because you both made this baby and you both have the right to make a decision that is life changing even if choosing to go forward with it is wrong in my opinion.

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I think it also speaks volumes to the double standard. When little girls in some cultures would have their labia or whatever have you down there trimmed for cosmetic reasons, it was banned in Canada (not sure of the status in the world) and is considered a criminal offense. Again unless medically suggested it is mutilating a baby for no reason what so ever. So why is it that unless medically needed is it not criminal to get a boy circumcised? So often you see this going the other way but why is the same type of procedure accepted in one and not the other?

Another point to be known, in Nova Scotia (I live here!) it can be extremely hard to even find a doctor who is willing to do this surgery. You can have it done at the IWK children’s hospital if it is deemed medically necessary, however going to outside doctors for this can be hard. Not to mention there is a specific time frame that you must have it done before it has to be done at a later age. If this was still as common like it was in the 90’s why is it so hard to actually find a doctor that is willing to perform this procedure?

And lastly, there was a post about it in one of the mommy groups I am in (Another toxic blog coming up about that in the future, look out for that!) someone had stated that they wanted to have their child done because their husband/baby daddy had his done. The perfect response came from another man and it said this “Basically you want to mutilate your son’s genitals without his consent because your spouse had his genitals mutilated without his consent”. I dont think that could have been a more perfect answer to the blunt reason’s why people choose to do this to their little fellas.

How to Deal with Mom Guilt

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This is something that I am sure happens to both men and women who are parents however I can only speak for the moms out there. I welcome any men who may stumble upon this to write in the comments if they too feel this “Parenting Guilt”. I assume there must be this to some extent however I have no idea what that extent may be though! After all, as parents one of the most challenging things we can do is feel guilty for something or another even if the moment doesn’t warrant feeling guilty at all!

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Mom or Parenting guilt is just that. It is something that you do as a parent that you may be guilty about doing. Maybe it is disciplining your child, or maybe even you miss an early diaper rash sign and you now have a full blown rash on your baby and feel guilty it got that far too. Honestly you can have guilt for just about anything and everything when it comes to kids. There can even be times when maybe you wouldn’t have guilt for something and suddenly that changes and now you feel super guilty over some thing!

*** If you are someone who is really enjoying the blogs and has the financial freedom to want to support this through tips, you are more than welcome to do so by clicking on this link to bring you to my personal Ko-Fi page. Never will you ever be pressured to support in this way however the option is there if you wish to do so! Your continued support regardless of financial or not is greatly appreciated.

Breast feeding is one if the biggest things I think Mom’s in particular can have this guilt for. In fact, I even wrote about how we need to normalize formula feeding in a blog post here. As a society we put such a heavy weight on women to be able to breast feed our babies that it can be a huge guilt trap when you decide to stop or if you decide to jump right into formula. So much so that women who do end up stopping before they maybe planned to stop will see out donations of breast milk from random strangers on the internet. That is a whole other story that I cant even describe how alarming or dangerous it is. As a society we make it sound like breast feeding is the only way to feed a baby and if you don’t do it you are somehow taking away things from your little one. Which is completely wrong as there are many different reasons why a parent may choose not to breastfeed including for their own mental health which is also important too. It stressed me out. Especially with having my first son have jaundice and I was not sure if he was drinking an adequate amount to get rid of the jaundice too. And with my second I just went to formula and felt great!

Being sick can be tough sometimes. As parents sometimes we forget that we are not super human and that we also can get sick. Which in turn can result in our little humans missing out on something perhaps. Maybe we have a TV day because we have the flu so bad we are unable to do a whole lot. Maybe we have a cheat day with meals and make things that are incredibly fast or easy to give ourselves a break. We do not need go be feeling guilty for prioritizing our health. Which I know is a lot easier said than done. Funny enough, I am also guilty of feeling guilty!

Society constraints or how they think people should parent, I am sure is a huge source of parental guilt for parents. These are the expectations that as a society we put on parents for literally no good reason but to drive them crazy. This would be the breastfeeding part. It may also be the proper meals every single meal time of the day. Let’s not forget either the maybe having to go many many places or even the no television or ANY screen time before a child is 2 years old. As a mother to a 2 year old at the time of writing and a 4 month old I can say with confidence we limit our sons screen time but we do not eliminate it completely either. And I certainly am not going to never give my older son TV time for fear my younger one will see something.


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At the end of the day you could feel guilty about anything in your life. However when it comes to parenting there is something about it that your guilt is almost amplified and you feel even more guilty for something super small than you may not feel when it comes to something outside of parenting too. I know for me I think about things that make me guilty for far too long even though I know there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It can be as silly as something like making eggs for supper one night instead of doing a long and thought out supper. Maybe my oldest is having a meltdown and to break that I put on a TV show earlier than I typically would put on a TV show. It really just depends on the situations but for some reason us parents are our own hardest judges.

And lastly, we have a fear that what we are doing may never be enough. Something like maybe your house is never clean enough, maybe your meals not exotic enough, maybe you put extra hour of TV on, or you never spent the money on that new expensive place for kids in the city that everyone and their dog is paying for. Maybe you don’t have your kids in the hardest or most expensive sport either.

It is so important to remember that as a parent each and every one of us learns and teaches differently. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that either. Just do what you are comfortable with and I am sure you will be raising a little genies!

Wish People Said About Birth/Pregnancy – Part 1

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Before I begin, I want to say this is something that I had asked the people on the app “Peanut”. This is an app where mothers sign up and can meet other moms around their towns and essentially become friends and hang out (Not a sponsor). However for me I felt it was far too overwhelming and in typical fashion I stopped using the app. I did however ask a question to the community, that question was “What is something you wish people told you about pregnancy or birth”. These are some responses and once the other parts become active I will be posting them below with links. And you are more than welcome to check them out yourself too!

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What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 2
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 3

Breast feeding hurts is something that popped up a few times. You guys may know my stance on breast feeding in terms that I formula feed my son and did the same for my first. I breastfed for 3 days with my first child and it was not for me. When you look at movies and things you always assumed that breastfeeding was this easy thing and any parent loves to do it. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It is something that you have to literally teach yourself. And before anyone says, “maybe it hurts because of latch problems blah blah blah” it does not have to be physical hurt. I wrote a blog about normalizing formula feeding that you can read here before we often forget the mental strain of stopping the breastfeeding journey due to guilt society and other mom’s put on others.

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Another mention someone had said was postpartum anxiety. Anyone hear the phantom crying? I know for us, my spouse and myself felt this with our first. I will also mention that the second child we had these anxieties seems to feel a bit more relaxed, maybe because we know that we have the skills needed to raise human however it doesn’t change how it felt for our first. These would be the anxiety’s that you have with your children, often times they are irrational and don’t even really make sense however they are important to note that there is a lot of anxiety after the birth of your baby. Feeling these are completely normal and if you feel like it may be something that is excessive you should reach out to a health care provider to validate those feelings and work through them as they can be hard to work through.



The physical recovery, not during child birth. I know for me I am completely guilty of this. I totally slipped my mind the use of pads and things after giving birth and only did it click when I was having my first son and a friend had given birth a few months prior had given me their heavy duty pads they used and no longer needed. I know sounds completely dumb to forget that but I never even thought about bleeding even though it made sense. That being said there is multiple types of recover. I have had the no medication birth with my first and a vaginal delivery which you can read about here. I also have had a c-section birth that I talk about here with my second child too that you can read about here. But no one prepares you for how challenging it can be to have either birth. If I had to pick I would say the c-section was the harder birth due to the fact you legit had a major surgery. I am really hoping that our last and third child when the time comes is a vaginal birth and NOT a c-section however it it happens the only thing saving me mentally is that it will be the last c-section that I ever have. The physical pain you go through, even a vaginal birth with no tearing having to walk up stairs after arriving home was so challenging holy smokes. I never even thought of that either!

Breastfeeding is not birth control. I know a few people who learned this the hard way. And based on the people commenting on this answer there was a lot of others who found that out also. Though breast feeding may delay your period and what not, it still can not be used as a contraceptive. Unless you are on birth control or using controls, if a man ejaculates inside of you there is a strong change that you could be pregnant from this. This also goes for the “having sex before 6 weeks” and you may not get pregnant. False. There is a reason why you are told to wait 6 weeks and that is due to your body healing. Saying breastfeeding is a way to prevent pregnancy is not a solid one and you may find yourself playing with fire and having a little surprise bundle in 9 months time too.

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Milestone obsessions is something that is very real and I again feel like having multiple kids does ease this up. When you have one child you become obsessed with milestones. Are they crawling on time? Rolling? Walking or standing? The fact is the spectrum is so broad that your child may be doing one or all things at once and there is no really right or wrong way. Use the milestones as a guideline but there is no need to panic if they aren’t hitting everything that they need to be at the time. It is also important to note that if a few milestones are missing at one age they may catch up and have multiple milestones happening at other ages though. Sometimes milestones are grouped up and they aren’t as spread out for people.

As you can see there is multiple things that may seem pretty obvious to others however this is not the case. This is something that maybe by writing these out a new parent may know before the situation arises! And if you are pumped to read this I can’t wait for you to read the other ones when they come out too!

Surreal Feeling of Parenting

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If you are not a parent I’m not entirely sure that you will know what this feels like. I don’t mean that in any way disrespectfully either. Just that for this particular blog, it really is only since becoming a parent that I have really noticed this.

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Since becoming a parent I have become such a sad sap it isn’t even funny. I swear that I am one of those people who now cries at any animated movie no matter how small the inconvenience is. I tear up and think about things and it makes me feel like trash only because I would poke fun at my mom who also would get sappy about things too. Before becoming a parent I would never feel this way or even admit to it but here we are.

Another thing is that I find myself feeling an overwhelming sense of relief or even sense of serenity. I know that makes me also sound like a weirdo but it’s not. I mean sometimes I am sitting on the couch. One of my son’s is playing with his blocks in front of me. We have the TV on for background noise, and then we have my other son trying to bit his teether toys furiously like he means business. I just look around and I feel a sense of happiness that I dont think I can even describe because it doesn’t even feel real. I feel a sense of wow and wonder that this is actually my life. That this is something I could never have imagined how it felt until I was in the moment. I still can’t believe that after over 2 years, maybe 3 including pregnancy, that I have been a mom and my life has been changed.

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Another thing that I know people talk about often is this, Time passes sooo fast with children. I know you know people with kids and have heard at some point, whether a parent or not, you may even have heard your own parents say it, is that “before you know it, they will be growing up like weeds”, “Or off to college soon with them in the blink of an eye” or something along those lines. THIS IS TOTALLY TRUE!! Which is mind blowing right. It really is.

When we had our first child, we knew time was passing fast. When you had to change clothes or even go up diaper sizes you would think to yourself holy moly, there is a lot of time that passed we are already changing up! Well, let me tell you this, when you have more than one kid, you will notice that that time is then going twice as fast as it was with just one child! Maybe I find this is because my second son is growing so quickly and at the time of reading it is 5 months old and next month we start baby foods. I feel like we just had him!


There are even times now when both of the boys are asleep when my spouse and I are laying on the couch and we have to look at each other and wonder, “Wow, we made them” as we look at their monitors form their rooms, which is still hard to grasp. Like we made two human beings. Two little pieces of both of us mixed together they are us. I always knew when I was younger that I would have kids one day. I knew that I would be a mom. It was just a feeling that I knew. And again, I want to state if anyone not a parent is reading this, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children! There is enough pressure for couples to have a family that I do not want to be someone who does that. There is people who want kids and others who do not and there is nothing wrong with that.

I also know a lot of parents feel this strange passing of time due to the amount of parents on my Facebook that when their child’s birthday comes around they comment about how they maybe turned around and they already have a 10 year old! which is again, mind blowing when it comes to things also too. it really is that when you decide to have kids that time has a new meaning. I feel like days in particular happen fast too. There is a lot of times when I turn around and feel like the day has flew by and my spouse is already home from work.

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Being a parent changes you. Or I should say, being a good parent changes you, we know there is a lot of bad ones out there which I would assume their lives don’t really change at all. Being a good parent makes you want to do better, be better, get better. I have been a parent for over 2 years, including pregnancy though I would say closer to 3. I know that I have been changed by my kids and remembering who I used to be and how I dont do some of the things I did before is tough. But there is still many many days when I sit around and think in awe how great my life is. How thankful I am to have 2 children and hopefully we plan for our 3rd and final one towards the end of the year. I am starting to think that this feeling doesn’t ever fade either, It hasn’t since my oldest was born! And it still feels like he was just a little baby and in the hospital and how excited and nervous and happy I was holding him! Even if not he is Mama’s big big baby now!

Accepting Random Breast Milk from Strangers a new fad

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If you are someone who has accepted random strangers breast milk on the daily for your little one you might as well click away because this blog is a lot of truths and a lot of things that you obviously don’t agree with if you are risking your babies life. There is going to be some ranting (In typical Stacey fashion) and a lot of truth bombs coming at you. You may even be surprised if you are in a group of people who had no idea this was happening. Consider yourself lucky and welcome to one of the strangest and most reckless practices that has been known in recent years with raising children.

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Firstly, I would also like to state that I am not talking about accepting breast milk donations from reputable sources. Whether this be a hospital or a proper donation bank. These types of places have screening for the milk to ensure that the quality is there when giving it to babies. They have specific processes to go through and different things that people can do in order to make sure that what they are giving their baby is in fact safe to give. The storage is properly handles, testing is done, quality, as well as many other things before giving it to parents for their little ones.

What I am talking about here is people using facebook groups to get breast milk from normally random strangers (not friends) and then using that milk to feed their children. For whatever reason, whether it be they don’t want to give formula or many they dont have enough of their own supply. People who just connect via messanger and think that it is totally alright to accept breast milk from someone they have no idea their history or background and give this to their babies. I am sure you are probably thinking, but what is the issue here? Let me explain.

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Let’s jump into the not so obvious first. Storage. This can be something that as innocent as it may sound could be a huge cause for concern. Maybe the milk was left out too long and bacteria grew. Or maybe the storage bags or containers somehow got contaminated. Then you have the not so obvious maybe the pump parts that said mother used have not been properly cleaned and therefore are causing some concern there on whether or not the milk is able to be used. Just this alone should have some sort of cause for safety before you even begin to think about giving it to your baby.

Next you have the pretty obvious stuff. Maybe the person is on some sort of medications or maybe they are on illegal drugs also. I am not talking about weed or alchol either. I am talking about perscription drugs or maybe even harder illegal drugs. Things that people don’t normally divulge when it comes to admitting their faults.



One thing that stuck out in my mind when questioned about this to moms who in fact use random breast milk for their children was this “If this mother gives it to their baby why wouldn’t it be safe for mine?”. Though this could be true, how are we even to know if this milk has not been tampered with or maybe they don’t really give it to their babies. We really do not know that. Maybe this mother is disgruntled because they have an over supply and were only able to conceive the baby they have, while others have many kids. The fact is when someone asks a mother a question and or a series of them, they have to then take their answers at face value. They may be correct and I am sure a lot of the time they are, but that does not mean they always will be.

The fact is in today’s day and age accepting anyone for their face value cards can be risky at best. Then there were people who also stand by the “Mom circle of trust” crap like “well they know the struggles and they wouldn’t do that to another mom”. The fact is we do not know someones intentions. Though a vast majority may have the best intentions for donating milk to random strangers you really do not know that.

Then it also comes down to this, if you are someone who breastfeeds your baby and takes the risk of donating your over supply of breast milk to someone you don’t even know, how would you feel if that breast milk by chance made their baby sick? Could you handle that knowing the reason was your fault even if it was not on purpose but by some other reason too. This is entirely possible and could happen even with something as simple as having a baby having a dairy allergy and you consuming it enough to make them sick. Even if you do limit yourself and don’t think there is enough for them to really be sick from it you still took that chance and made them sick.

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The bottom line is that any doctor in their right mind would not be recommending that someone get random breast milk from a stranger off the street to give their baby. i mention this because yes, someone did say their doctor told them to get breast milk to rule out an allergy to some type of formula (I kid you not) and they went straight to a stranger for this. I will state also if your doctor does this maybe you should be looking at getting a new doctor because this practice is not safe.

The bottom line is this practice of people being so against formula is disgusting at best and reckless. Whether or not a study has shown breast milk is better or whatever, the point is even if you asked this person 100 questions there is no guarantee that they are actually giving you the right answers or the ones that they think you want to hear. And unless there is a proper screening and testing you really have no idea what is in the breast milk that you are not giving to your baby and risking their life for your own personal gain. If this blog post offended you, I can only assume that you are someone who would risk your little one’s life for a personal vendette.

Why You Should Never Join a Mommy or Parents Facebook Group

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I know what you are thinking, Mommy groups on Facebook are great! They are a good spot where mom’s can talk about different things and bounce idea’s off of other mom’s or parents so that they are able to see different solutions and how to care for your little one. especially if you are a first time parents and have not many resources at hand they can be a good spot to find out what may be troubling your young child.

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that being said, they are not always as great as you may think that they are. Sometimes, well a lot of the time they are filled with a bunch of not so nice things. which is natural due to the fact that there are many things that parents may or may not know about their kids. There is a lot of sarcasm at times, myself included.

Mommy groups on Facebook are toxic a lot of the times. They are filled with parents who sit home all day or have a lot of time on their hands and they keep posting or commenting on different things. They sometimes even belittle people in the process. An example of this is whenever someone mentions feeding. As a formula feeding parent I know and see this pretty regularly in the groups that I am in. A parent automatically assume that the other person posing the question is breastfeeding. This is just another example of how as a society we need to normalize formula feeding again (which I wrote about and you can read about it on my blog here!).

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!

Another way that I would not recommend is that if you do decide to join, make sure you turn off notifications or even hide posts until you physically open the group yourself. When you are looking at your feeds and you see this being posted it can be extremely addicting to keep up to date on what parents are talking about and getting the “in” on things. I found myself being consumed by what everyone was posting even if the same things were being posted every single day multiple times.

That also leads me to another aspect, I find that the groups are unaware or maybe don’t care to, search the group for different questions. The repetition alone on asking questions can be exhausting to keep track of. Popular topics that people talk about are a) breast feeding b) how their child slept perfectly but now doesn’t (Not researching sleep regressions, or sleep training just assuming they sleep trained once and baby is good to go which is not the case) and then you have the ever popular (at least where I life for the local group) c) should I take my baby XX or should I go to the emerge or walk in? The questions that get asked daily are actually mind numbing and a simple search of the group would provide all of the answers needed.

One of the big things is judgement (also guilty). There is so much judgement when it comes to these groups that if you are light heated i would suggest not even getting involved in them. There is very triggering posts in there also that some people have no idea how to handle and will attack other people for having an opinion. Case in point, I posted a hot topic about how I dont think accepting random breast milk from strangers should be allowed. I was genuinely trying to see how people could come to that conclusion and while my intentions were kind and after the rash posts of people supporting this practice (Which is highly unsafe and damaging to a baby potentially which I also wrote about here) people grouped up and told me I was wrong when I was trying to see how someone could give their child something that have no idea but the word of a stranger on how it is good.

Another hard part of these groups is whether or not they are directly meaning to do this they can make you feel like you’re doing too much or too little of something. For example, a lot of people post about these different approaches to things or certain styles maybe “gentle” parenting. To the point if you even mention you have raised your voice they will come at you and make you feel like you are not doing the best you can even if different styles do in fact work (shocking I know). I know for me, there are posts where people talk about getting a crap ton of sensory toys or even those special (expensive) black and white toys to help their babies and their kid is nearly 3 months old. Or people posting how they feel like a bad parent for not entertaining their child 24/7 either. Even if not directly pointed at you, they are filled with things that can make you feel like you are not up to the society standard of what a parent should be.

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Another thing that I have noticed is a lot of people just like any other social media group, talk a lot of talk when behind a computer screen. A lot of the times I find people are not as genuine as they would be had you met them some where else naturally instead of this group. I find people are fake and that they will a lot of times tell you what you want to hear. One thing I noticed is that I find myself being too blunt and not sugar coating things which can obviously not be helpful to people who want to hear a very specific answer to their questions.

Just like anything there are some benefits. It should be seen as a resource on maybe if you need help or something you can look at it. Though they are typically filled with drama it is really best to avoid them if you can or even try to limit how much you spend browsing the pages also because that can be a tricky part in itself too!