Tag Archives: Second TIme Parent

Adjusting from 1 toddler to a newborn and a toddler!

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As you may have guessed. Yes. Having a second child can really be a challenge. Depending on how young your first one is, and how independent they are it can be even harder. I have officially been able to say that I have been part of the “2 under 2” club. Has it been challenging? Of course it has been.

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It can be especially challenging to adjust because when you have a small baby, they really are the ones running the show. They do not have any schedule and are basically the boss. For us, we got incredibly lucky that my spouse was able to have used his vacation days as well as with it being the holidays having time off in general that he could use also. This was even more lucky due to the fact that I had an unplanned C Section which I talk about in the birth story for my youngest here.


I primarily took over taking care of the baby the majority of the time due to the fact that I had a C-Section. You can talk about all the challenges that I faced with that here, Not only that, but we were extremely lucky that our son was born at a time my spouse had plenty of time off with the holidays and vacations to help me with my oldest. The real challenges began when my partner had gone to work again. I think by this time you are already used to getting little to no sleep but at least you are in a rythnm.

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In reality, my schedule did not change THAT much. My first son had a pretty normal routine schedule. In terms of waking, breakfast, lunch, nap, supper, bed. However since he has been in his “Big boy” bed he has been up far earlier. Especially on day’s where his dad goes to work because he hears him getting ready. Some days he does go back to sleep longer however other days he does not. So the baby basically is following that schedule. Or he maybe up slightly earlier and we just wait for my oldest to wake up in the living room or stay in bed cuddling.

One of the hardest aspects I would say when it comes to juggling the two different yet so close ages is bottles! My oldest has been so far our of bottles your really forget what they are about. I find for myself though if I am home alone with the 2 of them that I need to split the bottles of my youngest to fit the oldest lunch in the middle. If my youngest is getting fussy and it isn’t quite time for Lunch what I will do is split the bottle. If it is 10:45am (We normally are eating lunch by 11:10am) and he is fussing I will give him half of a bottle and then baby wear as I make lunch. Unless he is sleepy then I will instead put him in his bassinet for his mini cat nap of 20-30 minutes so I have enough time to prepare the lunch for myself and my son, and it is ready to go. It sounds more complicated but if you really dedicate time to watching the clock for a little bit and managing your time it is completely possible to have it effective like this.

That being said, yes there are some days where I can completely have it fit perfectly. Maybe I feed him really before lunch time and it clicks so after lunch is made I just have to feed Vincent (oldest!) and put him to bed and as soon as he goes for his 2 hour nap his brother Felix wakes up, or has been kicking and looking and exploring while we ate. Other times I also will wear Felix and he falls asleep in the carrier, so I put him in his bassinet to sleep and he does so until lunch is over normally too. It honestly can be a really hard thing to judge but sticking to the same schedule is super helpful for us.

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Another thing that I personally feel is going extremely well is also the jealousy. I for some reason (Maybe it is a parent thing) thought that my oldest would be incredibly jealous of my youngest. That however is the case to some extent, there is for sure jealousy in the adjusting to having another baby around but it isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I think too as Felix is growing you can tell Vincent is maybe understanding more that he will have a new friend. I try to make a point that if Felix is asleep to not have him contact nap because I want to really spend that time with Vincent. We cuddle on the couch, we play with toys, we laugh and sing songs and guess objects, but that time is for him. When Felix is awake I encourage him to help. He is very curious about diaper changes as well as holding the bottle when I feed him. He also loves to give kisses and hugs all the time as well too. Sometimes they even are slobbery or sticky from something he had ate before.

None the less, I think the adjusting has been going far beyond my expectations. Now are there moments when I want to rip my hair out and both of them are crying and upset and just plain mad for no reason, Absolutely. And I try to manage my time between them as best as I can to console each of them so they know they are loved and important and neither is more so than the other. If that means letting Felix cry for a few moments while changing a poopy bum of Vincent so be it. It has been a great experience and honestly, makes me excited for our next adventure when it comes to kids (Obviously not too soon, I would like some peace and quiet at times!)

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The Struggles of Having a Toddler and Becoming Pregnant Again

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Being pregnant is a wonderful thing. Even if you have to get past the whole nausea and exhausted feeling. Then, comes another decision, will I have another child or stick to one. Having one child is a lot for someone who has no idea what they are doing or who has never been around kids before. Deciding to have another child while already having one can be overwhelming to say the least! Welp let’s tall about things that I found hard being pregnant and having a son who was just over a year old when we found out we were expecting again!

Expect to be tired. I think this goes without saying even when you are not pregnant and have a child. You will be even more tired. My first pregnancy when I was tired I went to nap whenever I wanted as it was summer and I wasn’t in school. With already having a child you do not have that luxury any more. I was very lucky because when I was feeling exhausted I would nap if my boyfriend was off work foe the afternoon or whenever. That way he could watch my son. Another thing I tried to do was as soon as my son went foe a nap I would go to bed and nap also. That being said, normally as would Murphys law be, when I was the most tired I would try this and they would be the days that my son would have the roughest sleep and wake up every half an hour so I would feel even worse! Being tired is part of pregnancy but having a one year old or even under 2 year old can make you feel that much more tired!

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An important thing I would recommended for with a young child even when not pregnant would be a play pen. This has saved me on more than one occasion. Babies and toddlers are fast. If I needed to run to the bathroom, felt nauseous, switch laundry, prep baby food or meals, this is a great way to know your toddler is safe when you cant be there. With a baby you can put them in a bassinet and work around when they are sleeping. With a toddler it really isn’t that simple. Especially when they drop to one nap a day and only sleep for a few hours. And before you say “Just go to bed earlier and it will help” remember in early pregnancy the amount of times you get up to use the washroom during the run of a night can be a lot. So even if you go to bed early you still are not sleeping soundly by any means!

Another struggle is your body can feel way more sore than you are used to. Maybe this is because I am out of shape and have been most of my life. But chasing around a toddler has really amplified that! In particular I tend to sit on the floor, on a pillow of course, to play with my son. By the end of the day I fi d myself taking a warm bath or warm shower and letting the water run down my lower back. We do go for walks from.time to time depending on the weather which does help. But know taking care of a first child while growing another one can be challenging. One thing my doctor said I was able to use was athletic gel. The kind that is simply menthol that I put on my lower back normally before bed. This ia not to be confused with brands like rub A535 or even brand similar. Just the normal cheap gel that cools and warms. It does help for sure.

And lastly, a struggle that can be hard but easy to overcome, finding balance! Trying to keep a routine with a toddler while being pregnant and dealing with the morning sickness, food aversions to smells, and exhaustion also too. It is okay for you to skip the dishes for one night. It is alright if you go to bed as soon as your toddler does. Leave that laundry I’m the basket for a day or two. Finding a balance can be hard and we often feel bad about skipping tasks. I am guilty of this myself. I have to remind myself that I am not a super hero and there is only so much that I can do. It is okay to put something off if you need to. Just keeping your son or daughter safe and happy while I’m early pregnancy can take a lot out of you to begin with. Don’t push yourself to the max or you will be feeling worse than you were before!

Regardless of how many kids you have or their ages, being pregnant while already having a child can be tough. Even for the most seasoned woman. Mostly due to the fact that every pregnancy is different. And you have no idea how it will effect you at the end of the day. As I mentioned before, when I was pregnant with my son things were pretty normal and easy going. Now with this child I am noticing myself wanting to catch up on sleep more, not eating as much and being sensitive to smells. Thankfully my nausea happened towards supper time when my boyfriend was home and could take over. No matter what, you are doing a great job even if you feel like you are slacking! We are our own worst enemies. No one is judging us but ourselves and sometimes we are the hardest critics. Keep going! And hopefully you find yourself in my shoes with a bit easier second semester !

Have you been pregnant with a toddler?

What was something you found difficult to balance by already being a mom and wanting to expand your growing family?

Let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear your success stories (or struggles) if you wish!

5 Pregnancy Myths

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When it comes to pregnancy there is a lot of evidence and old wives tales out there that if someone who may be trying to get pregnant a while, will be willing to try. A lot od them are just made up and something fun to try but they really have no evidence that they worth other than the rare times it might be correct in a prediction. Some of these idea’s I have even seen on an app I use which is wild that people believe this. Especially when logically it really does not make sense if it did work. These of course are just a handful that I have seen throughout reading and research in the topic. I am sure there are many many more like the ring or needle on a string and whichever way it moves predicts the sex of the baby, of so they say.  Let’s dive in!

Apparently you are unable to prevent stretch marks. A lot has to do with genetics and another part has to do with just the weight and how it is distributed. That being said you are totally able to help your skin and growing belly by using creams to help hydrate it. But chances are there is no prevention to this and regardless of method you will more often than not be getting stretch marks if it was meant to be. That isn’t also to say you shouldn’t be hydrating your tummy as it grows to house a little person either! If you have dry skin like myself you will fins it useful in relieving itchiness as well which is common when you are growing to be 3 and 4 sizes bigger than you would expect!

This is one that I have seen a lot on my app. A lot of people seem to think this particular lube “pre-seed” is used in order to help fertility. That is false. Lube does not do anything but help sperm travel to where they are going. It does not impact the quality, speed, distance, count or anything else it simply makes a wet environment foe them to swim up. That being said, if you do not need lube and produce enough moisture down there, there is absolutely no reason why you should be using lube. Most lubes will say they are sperm safe. Meaning they are safe and will not harm sperm once they are inside of it. There is a big difference between being sperm safe and essentially helping fertility. Don’t you think if a lube helped fertility most would be talking about it or trying that route instead of other more invasive methods? Probably eh, which is why if you see any type of lube boasting to help fertility there is a huge chance that it might be a scam and it only is indicating that it is safe to use with sperm.

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One myth that reminds me every time I see it because in the TV show Mike and Molly she was doing this when they were trying to have a baby, it is the holding your legs up method after intercourse so that you help the sperm and gravity keep them inside. This does not help chances what-so-ever. It is completely unnecessary due to the fact that when sperm are released they are already going to where they need to be. Not to mention, the leaking of some sperm our of the body is normally dead sperm. Doing this will not help you get pregnant faster.

This is probably one of the wildest things I have ever seen on an app. It was someone commenting that after intercourse they put in a diva cup. You know the same thing women use for their periods to catch blood. Well they did this and were using it after intercourse. They swore this was increasing their chances of sperm getting in by holding them closer to the cervix  which doesn’t make sense. The diva cup is there to hold blood as if comes out of the body. Not to mention they really do not go THAT deep up to the cervix in order to hold sperm closer. Also in case you didn’t know, the walls of the vagina are ribbed. This is so sperm can make their way up even if some get lost in the tiny folds. A diva cup is a slick piece of rubber. Sperm will not be swimming up it. This obviously was a post about desperation but it really has no value in helping pregnancy. Again, sperm will get to where they need to go without being held into place.

One might think that pregnancy tests that claim to be accurate or can detect pregnancy days before a missed period are great. Well they are not. Though they do claim go be able to detect pregnancy some up to 6 days before a missed period. That may be true however if you actually look at the percent that is accurate it is nearly 65%. Obviously as the days go closer to your period it becomes more accurate however this is heavily because the pregnancy hormone is doubling every 24-48 hours making it easily detectable. The only time a test can be 100% accurate is day of missed period. However it is not uncommon to not get a pregnant sign until after missed period even so much as a week. Another part to this not many people may be aware of is that digital pregnancy tests typically take more of the hormone to produce an accurate/pregnant test. So taking it earlier would mean that it is could give a negative. There is no rush to take a test either, the earlier you test the higher chance of getting a negative when it will become a positive, and seeing that result can be devastating to some. Patience is key here!

Is there anything you heard from old wives tales that came out true but only by chance?

What is something you tried to find out it was inaccurate?

Let me know some crazy myths that you have heard in the comments below!

Why Gender Reveal Parties are Over Rated

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If you are someone fortunate enough to not know what a gender reveal party is, honestly, I am a bit jealous of you and consider yourself lucky. This is one of the latest trends when it comes to having a baby or announcing that you are expecting. Instead of either waiting til you give birth to know the gender, or finding out and simply phoning family or friends, people thought it would be a great idea to have a party to celebrate.

What seems so innocent started pretty basic. A couple would get their ultrasound at approximately 20 weeks to have all the anatomy checked out and they ask the tech to write the gender down on a piece of paper or in an envelope. They then would bring this to a bakery for example and ask them to write some clever saying on the top like “Pink or Blue, which one is you?”. Then they would make the icing on the inside either pink or blue so that when the parent(s) cut into the cake they would know the gender based on the frosting inside. How this whole fad was created I will never know but one can only assume it was based off of someone doing a small reveal and them wanting to do something bigger.

Well, fast forward 5 or 10 years and now it has become some big competition. You have people who still do the cakes, that probably will never change. Then you have people who also do balloons, whether filled with confetti or even a powder. And whenever it is popped you see the color fill the air around. Then you have the crazy folks who need to announce the gender of their little bundle with explosives or some sort of dangerous way. Which sure, does not always backfire but more and more recently you see people getting hurt or even family’s having a member pass away due to some freak accident regarding the way they choose to share this moment with their friends and family.

Then you have people like myself who are old fashioned and when we found out we were having a boy with my 1st child we simply took a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to family and friends and announced it online/texts/phone calls which, brace yourself, completely FREE! We did not want to do a big celebration when it comes to announcing the sex of our baby because as exciting as it is we do not want another reason to spend money. We dont feel like we were competing with anyone so we did not want to give reasons for others or ourselves to spend money.

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And before you say, “But it doesn’t have to cost money!”. Any type of party whether a baby shower, birthday, anniversary will cost money. Sure you can do it on a lower end by just getting the cake with different colored frosting on the inside BUT there is a lot more to it also. From getting the blue or pink colored plates or cups where you use the color you guess the baby will be. To decorations which you can do a solid neutral color like black or gold and silver. Or again, the two colors blue and pink. Then some gender reveal parties have little games and things that you also play. And lastly food. You cannot have a part if there is no food! Especially with a pregnancy involved! Again, you could save money with doing a pot luck style where folks being different dishes however that is another different cost for people to almost foot part of the bill.

The problem, why these gender reveal parties are so over rated, in my opinion is it becomes a show and competition people have with neighbors. With internet and technology as far advanced as it is you can search videos endlessly a out different gender reveals while thinking of your own way to up stage the ones already out there. By doing this it can also cause these reveals to take a dangerous, and even deadly route also. This is due to people wanting to create bigger explosions and bigger shows in front of their friends and families which can ultimately create permanent consequences. And for what? To be the next biggest or viral video online. There is also things that can go wrong like confetti guns not firing, balloons being let go and floating up into the air without knowing the gender too. Not every party that is planned goes perfectly.

Then you have the risk of also showing public disappointment if you are expecting to have a different gender than you were hoping on. Recently there was a video was a video of a dad and mom breaking the balloon with pink being the color scene. The dad immediately showed his disappointment. There is nothing wrong with expecting or hoping for a gender but to show THAT MUCH outward emotions over the gender of your child which ultimately you have a 50/50 chance at either a boy or a girl maybe knowing before everyone else would be a better idea. In the heat of the moment it can be really hard to control your reactions especially if you are more set on one gender than the other one.

For me, I am a mom of one and pregnant with number 2. Our goal is to have a family of 3 children. None of them (even the future one) we have ever thought about having a gender reveal party. Even pre Covid we never thought to have one. I guess we are nearly old fashioned where we just would rather tell our family and friends personally instead of making a big event out of it. There will be other opportunities for us to celebrate out newest family member and we just do not believe that their gender is one of those!

Have you planned to have a gender reveal party before?

Did you pass up on the idea of having a party to reveal it?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

A Day in the Life of a 15 Month Old

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At the time of Writing this my son is about 15 months old. Although by the time you read this he might be maybe 17 months, due to the fact that I am writing some blogs to help get through the summer and moving provinces for less stress on myself. Though I don’t think much will really be changing in that time span. Let’s Jump in!

6am-7am : This is typically where we start the day. Sometimes my son wakes up as his Dad goes to work however occasionally he also goes back to sleep. When this happens he sleeps in a bit and if not he normally plays in his crib. I very rarely actually go back to sleep since my child is one who likes to bite the crib however sometimes he likes to lay there and roll around and toss his little blanket around. It also has tags on it that he likes to play with his fingers also too.

7am-730am : This is when we wake up, get him and myself dressed for the day. I throw on a bottle of 3% milk and put him in his play pen. This is so I can run to the bathroom myself, as well as take the dog outside who has already been looking at me for 5 minutes when he heard the little fella wake up!

730am-830am : This would be his bottle. Now he is old enough he probably doesn’t need it but we dont really encourage him to drink it all. It is there if he wants it and if he doesn’t that is okay also too. Then we normally sit on the floor and play with toys and wake up for the day. For some reason he is normally super chatty and raring to go with energy!

830am-930am : This is normally when we do breakfast. We do anything from oatmeal and fruit, to some toast or eggs. Just depends on the day honestly. After he is done eating and sometimes before it oatmeal is too hot for example, I will do the dishes or tidy the kitchen up. After he eats he normally sits in his high chair for me to finish up also or prep something maybe muffins, or chop up veggies for the slow cooker. He normally has some hand toys or even measuring cups he likes to bang, with a cool glass of water. He can play pretty independently but we do have our stories together!

930am-1030am is another time we play on the floor. If the weather is not nice or too hot we don’t normally go for a walk, however it the weather is nice we do end up going for a walk or anywhere! Could even go outside depending on the mood for the day.

1030am : Snack time! Snacks can be anything from toast if you haven’t already had it before, sometimes apple sauce, fruit or banana’s, muffin, or yogurt too.

1030-1130am: This is when we start to wind down a bit and play a little however we also start to think about lunch time. Sometimes the time fluctuates depending if my son was up closer to 6am or closer to 7am.

1130am : Lunch time! Sometimes we try to have meat and potatoes, sometimes we have eggs if we haven’t had them already. Sometimes we do pasta and sauce or cheese with it. Things that are not super big but enough to be filling. Sometimes as mentioned before we will try to eat a bit earlier depending on how tired he is.

12pm – 2pm : This is typically when Vincent goes to his crib. Sometimes he falls asleep easier than other days however this is when he typically naps. Sometimes he tries to play with us by throwing his blanket out, or his soother (Which we will be weaning by now or have it gone!) and we just go in. Do not talk. And encourage him to fall asleep. Typically he will be asleep within 5-20 minutes again depending on how tired he is. We also do not normally go into the room til about 2pm though if he did not fall asleep til closer to 1230pm we will let him sleep a bit closer to 230pm. Even if he wakes up we just watch him and don’t go up right away. This is so he knows that it is quiet time.

2pm-3pm is when we wake up. We play and relax a bit as he is normally still pretty sleepy. Sometimes we even make our video phone calls to my parents (Since we have moved at the time of publishing before we would do video chats!) Sometimes we go outside depending on the weather or we just hang out and read stories.

3pm : Snack time! Again same typical foods as the ones from earlier just obviously we try not to give the same thing though as that would be super boring! We do try to spice it up and change them around from day to day in order to not get tired from other things.

4pm is supper time. This is normally a bigger meal like beef, chicken or even fish, then we normally do some potatoes and veggies or sorts. It really depends on what we have. We still do ice cube trays of food however we don’t puree anything. Sometimes we mash things though for smaller bite sized pieces but nothing is pureed. When we prepare meat it is easier to use a nice sharp pair of scissors also to be able to make pieces that wont be able to be chocked on.

430pm-545pm : This is the final stretch before bedtime. We typically put his favorite show on at some point close to 445pm or 5pm and he watches a few shows of blue clues, bubble guppies, or whatever else you have that he seems to enjoy lately. This is nearly the only screen time that my son currently has unless I have to put him in his play pen to flip laundry or something.

545pm – 630pm is the unwind for the evenings. We put the final bottle on, have a bedtime snack. Something a bit more filling like a muffin with yogurt or something or that nature. Then we have a bath if it is bath night. We were doing baths every second night and then a bath soak in the winter to help relax him but we stopped because my son was having really dry skin. every 3 nights seems to work well for us and his skin unless he is very dirty from a big poop or something! After everything is done we read a few stories after in pajamas and cream is put on.

645pm or so is bedtime. However now that he is getting older he normally rolls around and things and play with his blanket as he falls asleep more towards 7pm or even 715pm some nights!

There you have it! That is a day in the life of a 15 month old. Sure days can change depending on how tired someone is or not, But overall, This is pretty much what happens!

Do you do anything special with your children every day?
Do you like routine or do you like to wing it?

Let me know in the comments below!

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3 Things I Was Nervous About in my 1st Pregnancy

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Having a baby is scary. Exciting. But also scary. Sometimes there are even things that can make you super nervous about too. A friend of mine mentioned that with each of her kids she became more and more nervous but about different things. One she was nervous about them having a cleft pallet. For me. I had basically 3 things that made me nervous about my 1st pregnancy and I am sure that there would be the same 3 for the next pregnancy that I also have too.

Breast feeding made me low key uncomfortable. I know. I know. It is a natural thing that happens to a woman’s body hen they give birth to their child to feed them and nourish them with their milk. For some reason breastfeeding made me uncomfortable. When I gave birth to my son I was in the hospital for 2 nights, came home for one, then I had gone back to the hospital, home and back to check up on him since he had jaundice. I was super nervous not to mention I was in Quebec and most of the nurses either did not fully understand English or they choose not to listen to English and spoke french. I was uncomfortable not just because it was a totally new experience but I was nervous regardless of there being next to no support. By the end of the week I had decided to do formula and my boyfriend was supportive of that also. It also is extremely forced and pressured to breastfeed as well. When you even mention formula you are kind of frowned upon as if you are doing the wrong thing for your child. With another baby would I consider breast feeding? Sure, I wouldn’t mind giving it another go. The other thing is that breastfeeding is not as easy as they make it look in the movies. You have to make sure your baby is latching properly, and that they are drinking the proper amount too. That made me paranoid my son was not drinking enough when in the hospital. Not to mention being in a different province my boyfriend would go home to sleep and be home with our animals so I was there alone when maybe with our next baby he will be there as we will be in Nova Scotia.

Gestational diabetes was something I was so worried about having partly because I love candy and sugar not pregnant so why wouldn’t I love it when I was! I was super nervous even though I was naive to the true risks of what it really can have happen. I would probably look more into this and hope that with future pregnancy that I don’t post a risk or at least minimize my risks of having it at all too. I remember feeling a bit of relief when I took the sugar drink and was able to find out about whether or not I had it. A part of me wants to look up more about it but I also feel like if I do at the same time I will probably be super

C-section was something that I think I was the most scared about. Crazy right. I don’t know I just felt like if I was to have a C-Section it would mean that I failed as a mom and was unable to give birth. I know it sounds totally insane to have this mindset but for some reason it was something that really crossed my mind though. The thing that made me feel better was when I talked to my doctor at the time she had stated that sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to avoid having a c-section. You can do everything right and it just comes to the point where you have to have one. There might be nothing you can do. Not to mention some woman’s bodies does not have the space to be able to birth a baby and they only thing they can do is have a c-section as the baby physically would not fit through the path it needed to go. I think this will probably make me feel nervous based on any pregnancy I have just because it really freaks me out the whole being awake but not feeling anything while they they open you up makes me nervous but we just will have to cross that bridge when it happens I suppose. No use stressing about it if it never happens either.

Next pregnancy as I write this I am currently a few weeks and not really thinking about delivery yet. Though I do randomly have the thoughts about previous pregnancy and what made me nervous. This time I am trying to be more aware of my weight and really trying to exercise or at the very least try not to gain the major amount of weight that I did before. It will be a bit difficult as I don’t want to really watch calories but just want to try to be mindful is all. I need to remember the huge myth that when you are pregnant you are not in fact eating for two. The baby is so small in the beginning that you can’t eat for two or you legit would be totally over eating and that will put the weight on QUICK! Another thing I want to do more especially where I have a kid already is to take more time for myself. Not push myself and to really take time to sleep well, if I am tired have a nap when I can. Take better care of myself for self care and things of that nature. I did not do that as much as I should have with my 1st and I want to that now especially with the stress of moving and things.

What are some things you were worried about during pregnancy? Or maybe you were worried about it with your partner?
Did they change or stay the same with multiple pregnancy’s?

Let me know in the comments below!

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Sleep Training Sucks

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Sleep training is not the bees knees so to speak. It is super challenging and the hardest part is listening to your little one crying because you aren’t in the same room as they are. We tried to start sleep training my son when he was becoming too big for his bassinet. The reason why we did this was that when he had his arms spread open he would have to bend them as his arm span was far to big now. The hardest part was making that decision. If you are like myself and my boyfriend, we had the bassinet right beside the bed since he was born. Making the decision did not come easy especially when they are so young when you see how small they look in the big empty crib. Have no fear, If we can do it anyone can!

Choosing a method can be challenging at best. You have the cry it out method which we a lot of us probably grew up on. This is where you put them in their crib and just let them cry it out. You make sure they have a dry bottom and are in no distress and you just let them cry cry cry til they fall asleep. They also have the pick up method where they cry and you reassure them everything is okay and put them back down. You typically let them cry if out for about 5 minutes, go check on them, let them cry it out for 10 minutes, and repeat extending the time you take to go in between reassuring them by 5 minutes. Then there is also the one where you sit in the same room as they are. And slowly as time passed or days I could say you you move the chair further and further away from the crib.

We chose the mix between the cry it out method and cuddling them to sleep. We thought this would be the best route as it didn’t seem as harsh as the cry it out method either. The hardest part as you can imagine would be to wait til you have let the amount of time pass that should pass before rushing in to the room. the fact is your little one is probably just fine they just have to make the adjustment to not being right beside you all of the time especially sleeping. It took a few days of this and he seemed to be on a good pattern. Since every baby is different too, it may take your baby a bit longer or less time than others. The important thing is consistency.

Like anything you decide to do with your baby as they begin to age and have some independence, including sleeping in their own room, it is not without struggles. It really is painstaking when you are trying to get them to sleep and you hear them crying. Though after you go in, for what feels like the millionth time and they are perfectly fine. Or they even have a dry diaper, or they have their soother there really is no need. The separation is the hardest part seeing your little bundle cry for you there knowing you aren’t in the room.

Some don’t that we learned pretty quickly were that you have to be dedicated to this. When my son was going through tough times when it came to sleeping we did everything. You can read more about that in this blog. This was extremely essential when it came to sleep training our son because when he was about 6 months of age to about a year old he would wake repeatedly throughout the night. This got so bad to one point I would go in at 2am and he wouldn’t go back to sleep until 4am. And so on and so forth multiple times. It was only after a few weeks of this we decided to let him cry it out when he was waking. We would check obviously to make sure he was dry, we knew he wasn’t hungry since he had been fine for the longest time over night, and we knew that he wasn’t too hot or too cold. This sucked because in the middle of the night all you can do is lay in bed and wait and see how it goes. we did this for 2 nights and suddenly he was starting to sleep better.

Though I don’t want to attribute this just to him sleeping either because we let him cry it out over night. Suddenly he went to one nap a day and that seems to be huge. Though it is tough when you only have a “break” in the middle of the day. He typically naps for anywhere from 1 hour 45 minutes to 2 hours and 30 minutes. I would much rather him sleep a smaller one nap instead of 2 small naps in the day and then barely sleeping at night. Him having one nap in the day time and then having slept super well at night is huge especially when thinking about having another baby around eventually too. The occasional time though we have had to go in and give him a soother if he has dropped it on the floor or if he cannot find it. Other than that though he does so well it is incredible how fast the change happened. Though going to one nap this soon was kind of a shock due to the fact that we know dropping to one nap a day normally happens a few months later and for us it was right around when he turned a year old!

Finding what method works for you can be hard and cause a lot of rifts in a relationship. I know with us it was tough not running in and trying to pick up our son when he was crying. Now that we have another baby on the way I am thankful that he sleeps as good as he does, next step would be to remove the soother from the situation however that will be happening after we get settled into our new home in the not so distant future (If we aren’t already there!).

What are some methods you experimented with when you were doing sleep training?
Was there anything that world right for your family, or some you absolutely hated?

Let me know in the comments below, I might need them with our next one!

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Preparing to move provinces with a 1 year old!

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Preparing to move with any child can be crazy and hectic to say the least. I have only ever moved provinces with a dog and a cat and that alone was a bit much for me! However we did it and it worked fine. Now, moving with a baby or I should say toddler, I feel like there is a lot more we need to prepare for in order to make this a success.

We currently live in Quebec, Canada and will be moving back home to Halifax, Nova Scotia. The total driving time is about 14 or so hours however we all know that with a baby and animals that time will probably look more like 16 or so hours based on the amount of stops that you need to do for different things like fueling up, food, rest and stretch your legs as well as whatever else there is. I have only ever went on road trips when I was a child for bowling around the province of Nova Scotia so I really have nearly no idea what it would be like to move with a toddler. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I am also going to be about 5 months pregnant at this point too? Not to mention there is a lot of of different rules with traveling through different provinces especially with Covid restrictions as well too. Here is the plan and hopefully it does work out!

Food is something that as adults is super easy. If you are hungry all you need to do is simply stop at a fast food restaurant, and keep going. No need to stop and do whatever though we normally do for a few minutes due to the dog. The cat is typically fine for the drive which is okay. The dog we also have to stop for a little bit because if we don’t he might get sick due to being in the car so long which would also suck. Not to mention we have to do his business outside frequently also. For our son I was thinking about (And by thinking at this point I had already gotten) a few things to help with the car ride such as, a small cooler so that we can put some apple sauce and yogurt inside, as well as some small ice packs, and 2 small thermos. I was thinking that the day we leave to make the drive that I could also get up earlier so I can make some oatmeal to put in one thermos. This will be a good start for the day as he does love oatmeal. I also am looking for perhaps making some small pasta with some tomato sauce and putting it into a second thermos for his lunch. Supper will have to be more winged it though which shouldn’t be so hard to think about either. If he was older sure fast food would be maybe alright but since he is smaller I don’t want to have to rely on worrying about restaurants to get his foods though. As far as drinks he only has water right now so we don’t have to worry about that.

As far as entertainment goes, I have gotten a tablet holder for the back of the seat so that we can download some episodes of blues clues for my son since that is his top favorite show right now. This obviously would be nearly a last resort since we try to even limit his screen time by normally putting it on just an hour before bed since he does enjoy it! We also are planning on getting him some new toys just a few books and hand toys that he can enjoy while we drive. Nothing too crazy in terms of pieces because I really dont want to be picking up pieces along the way but something he can just fidget with. One is the lacing toys that he currently has a watermelon of and loves. The hardest part when we drive with my son is stop signs or stop lights as he always starts to fuss so we are hoping by moving on the highway he will do better.

We aim to also be driving early about 4-5am so we will get there in the evenings. And wont be really driving into the dark as that can be really hard. Plus with two of us we will be able to drive so that will be nice to flip if one of us is tired. The hope is that my son will sleep in the beginning since he normally would, and then once wakes up I can entertain him in the back since I will be there. the hope is that we can keep a pretty solid schedule and then it should be okay. He also has a nap as well in the afternoon. And about 7pm or so he should be asleep for the last leg of the drive. It really should be okay however it makes me extremely nervous since we never did this before. Thankfully this is our last move though since we did find our forever home so we wont need to do this anymore. Any family in Quebec will have to come see us in the future til our children are old enough that we can leave and they not ask when are we getting there every few moments!

Other than that I am pretty nervous about it however when we drive to Quebec city which is 2.5 hours away he did pretty good. My son is also old enough that we don’t need to have warming his bottles all the time so that is a good thing, not that he really has many now, we still give one in the morning and one before bed and if he drinks it he drinks it, if not no worries.

Have you ever traveled with a toddler?
What did you find helped with the drive?
Was it over 10 hours?

Let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear your experience!

– Stacey

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Pregnancy 16 Week Update

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Where do I even begin! I feel like this pregnancy if some what going fast and some what going slow. It is hard to believe that the next update we will have together will be the official half way point! And I will be also in transition between Quebec and Nova Scotia and hopefully figuring out things with my doctor in Nova Scotia to be able to be referred to get a new labor and delivery doctor to follow me. My goal is to hopefully get everything set up so that it goes as seamless as possible and I wont be behind on blood work or anything else that may be needed.

My energy levels seem to be going back to somewhat normal levels thankfully. That is huge for me already being a Mom to a 15 month old and having to chase him around. I find myself not needing to nap as much as I did before and also not having to lay down as often. The bathroom breaks at night seem to also be a little less depending if I find it is a good idea to drink a liter of water an hour before bed or not. As for nausea, I sometimes feel an upset stomach if my boyfriend makes something gross like fish or whatever and I find myself feeling yucky. Still only ever got sick the one time which I think is honestly a blessing!

I also have gotten blood work previously which you may or may not know I hate doing. The first I think is the hardest due to the fact they take so much. And I am a wimp so I would have loved to have my boyfriend there holding my hand but that wasn’t the case. He was watching our son and I went on my own. I did not cry which was good and I never even looked either. For some reason giving blood stresses me out. Maybe because I never had to do it will I was about 20. And then when I did it again after I was pregnant with my son. Lucky would be an understatement or maybe that asthma does not usually require blood work!

I also had a doctors appointment as well! Which I am super happy about and hopeful to be possibly getting an ultrasound before the big move. It was a pretty standard appointment.

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We talked about my blood work results which are great. The only thing was I am not immune to something called the “5e maladie”. The doctor was not sure what the translation in English was however it is when a child in particular gets a fever or rash for no apparent reason (not like a teething rash or whatever) if I was to get the same thing it could really effect the baby inside. Which would not be good and result in complications. Other than that everything was great. She asked if I would like to have a final check up before I moved which I said yes to! I am getting more blood-work just after 16 weeks and that would be for the 2nd part of my “Trisomy 21” screening. This is to check for abnormalities such as down syndrome and what not. With my son our numbers were extremely low so I am hoping for the same results here.

Next we did a quick check up on me. Checked my breathing and heart rate. My blood pressure was already checked by a nurse when I arrived and that was great. Which obviously was good for me considering the stress of moving and what not! And of course we listened to the heartbeat again which was also great. I still wish my boyfriend would be allowed to go to appointments but it just doesn’t make sense with the pandemic and if that was the case I am sure so many people who didn’t need to be there would be.

And lastly, my doctor put in a request for a 19 week or so ultrasound. Normally this would be done after 21 weeks but I am excited to hopefully have it before. With my son the placenta was in the front so movements were not felt as easily and part of the placenta was covering the cervix. I would like to obviously know this and not have to wait til maybe 25 weeks or more when things happen in Halifax after the move. Oh, and for sure. I would also LOVE to know the gender of the baby too! My boyfriend and I are thinking about names but not entirely til we find out the gender though. It overall would be a great feeling to have this done before we move so we know everything so far is alright!

Over all I am relieved that it went well and cannot wait to hear about an ultrasound. It will be great. I am so happy that I am feeling more like myself again also. That alone can be really exhausting when I am tired and feeling different. Especially with the move coming up I am relieved to be able to finally have energy to get things done. I haven’t felt overwhelmed by anything thankfully I have a partner who can take care of a lot of things on his own. I am starting to plan and pack what we all need to bring for the car and a few nights in a hotel but other than that things are alright! I wont be waiting til the last minute that is for sure! Be on the look out for moving blogs as they come up! I talk a bit about that here.

Oh, and it is probably time we start with belly updates so here is the 16 week one!

Im sure at the 20 week update I will be equally as big by then! I should be in transition to the new house but I will still do my best to update you all on time! It just might be a bit challenging if I have to do it all on a Tablet!

Normalize Formula Feeding Again

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When I was growing up, It was so rare to have or know someone who breastfed their children. Ironically enough, It seemed there was a lot more stay at home moms who never worked also too. This was in the 90’s. To be fair, I don’t think I could name a single one of my friends who had siblings that I can remember ever having them breastfed. I don’t even remember if their mom’s pumped either. It was all about formula feeding at that time.

Fast forward to 2020, I had a child in that year and many of my friends have been having kids for a while before that. A lot of the times you hear about them breastfeeding. Which was almost unheard of when we were growing up. What changed? In the time when I was born to the time when I was having kids, something had to have changed to have such a shift in how we feed our children.

Before I go into my own opinion Chrissy Teigen said it best.
Here is the link to the original tweet and a screen shot for all you folks who don’t want to click away : https://twitter.com/chrissyteigen/status/1333097266710679552 (Not to mention she doesn’t even have Twitter anymore?

I totally understood this for sure. She is not wrong. Something has changed in the last however many years that has made breastfeeding seem to bee superior to formula feeding. There is no doubt that breastfeeding probably has a FEW MORE nutrients then a formula however it is 2020 and I am sure that there are so many advances that they basically are super similar also.

A friend of mine had a child 2 months before we had our son. Her and her husband decided to start with formula right from the beginning. She had mentioned when she gave birth in the hospital that they were a little bit judgey in the sense of “Oh you aren’t going to try breast feeding”. It was pressured in the very beginning which I also had noticed as well. This was a decision that her and her husband had decided on and they were completely pushed back on their decision by these little comments.

When I had given birth to our son, I wanted to try breastfeeding. I wanted to at least give it a go. Early on our son had a small heart beat issue which sorted itself out however we had to stay in the hospital for an extra day because of this. Then we came home for a day due to them kind of lying about us not leaving, And then we went back for 24 hours since he had a bit of jaundice and had to be under lights for 24 hours. We then went home for another day and went back to check up on him that he was doing well and his levels were fine. Now I know, There is so many more health issues that children and babies can have, But for me as a first time mom staying in the hospital alone (My boyfriend went home at night to sleep, stock up on our supplies, and be with our dog) it was a lot. After begin up every 3 hours and him feeling a bit helpless due to obviously not being to help a whole lot with feedings especially, we decided that on the weekend we would go to formula. It helped a lot and I think our sanity was saved a bit. When we went back to the hospital for the check up after his jaundice things, We again were met with a bit of eye rolls when mentioned we had switch to formula.

Being a new parent is stressful. To say the least. Are they fed enough? Are they clean and happy? Are they okay physically? When you have made a decision on whether or not you will breastfeed your baby and are met in the hospital with resistance and a bit of shaming as well it certainly does not make you feel very good. Especially if you and your spouse have thought and made this decision together only to hear it met with such rolling eyes and questions as to why you aren’t doing it.

I stopped breast feeding because it legit stressed me out. From my child being in the hospital more than expected I was worried he wasn’t drinking enough and that isn’t good. It was a lot of pressure just on me and not my boyfriend (not that I want him to have more pressure but you know what I mean). We stopped because I was running on fumes being up in the hospital alone for some time. Once we did this I think some stress did go away that is for sure.

People need to stop thinking “Breast is Best”. Sure it may be a bit more nutrients however there is no right or wrong way. A baby fed is the best. There are many different reasons why someone may not want to choose the breast feeding route. Maybe they are unable to produce enough and supplement with formula, Maybe they have to go back to work due to bills and are unable to breastfeed. They may choose to use formula because they had to use a surrogate and aren’t able to produce milk themselves. Or maybe, just maybe they choose formula because it suits their needs better.

For me, with baby number 2. I may decide to try breastfeeding again. If it wasn’t for me the first time maybe I would have learned a lot before the 2nd child and feel more confident in my abilities. Breastfeeding is hard and there is a lot of tricks to make it successful. I do know that if I decide to breastfeed and switch to formula though, I wont be as hard on myself for making the switch as I did this time. It felt like I was a bit of a failure by switching to formula when I said I would try the breast in the beginning. And if it doesn’t work a second time around I know that I can say I tried. Sometimes formula just better suits a lifestyle or family more than breastfeeding.

All I know for certain, is just because someone may breastfeed or formula feed shouldn’t make them any different. Mom’s who breastfeed shouldn’t look down on mom’s who formula feed and vice versa. Fed is Best, regardless of method.

Do you have kids? If so have you tried breast feeding or formula? Or both?

Let me know in the comments below!

-Stacey

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