Tag Archives: Pregnancy Birth

What People Wish They Knew About Pregnancy – Part 2

Before I begin, I want to say this is something that I had asked the people on the app “Peanut”. This is an app where mothers sign up and can meet other moms around their towns and essentially become friends and hang out (Not a sponsor). However for me I felt it was far too overwhelming and in typical fashion I stopped using the app. I did however ask a question to the community, that question was “What is something you wish people told you about pregnancy or birth”. These are some responses and once the other parts become active I will be posting them below with links. And you are more than welcome to check them out yourself too!

What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 1
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 3

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One subject someone said was the decreased sex drive while breast feeding. This could be strongly because while in the first few weeks and months after the birth of your child, if you choose to breastfeed, you will spend a lot of your time with them attached to your chest. Maybe you are pumping for relief though so others can also feed your little one however if you are exclusively breastfeeding you will be spending a lot of your energy with them attached to your breast. Which obviously to some extent will make you maybe not have the sex drive you once had before giving birth.

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How long to feel normal varies from person to person however it does not happen over night. If I remember correctly I feel like giving birth vaginally made it so that I was able to feel normal a whole lot sooner than it did when I had a c-section birth. I even went as far as talk about the two difference between them in a blog here and I also talk about how there were challenges that I had to overcome with having a c-section in this blog post here. The fact is giving birth to another human has a lot of challenges. However no one prepares you to ever have to wait a long time to feel normal and healed or even yourself again. When will it stop hurting when you walk up the stairs? Who knows but that is something to think about as well. And if you take longer to feel normal compared to your friends who have had kids there is absolutely nothing wrong with it taking longer or maybe quicker. Times vary from person to person.


What to buy what not to can be a bit subjective. In the fact that what someone might recommend might not be needed for other families and whatever. That being said, I know someone out there needs to hear that, there is NO NEED to over buy every single toy you see on the shelf or every single type of shirt, pants or outfit on the rack. If you have enough clothes to go through a week without doing laundry or even a few spare clothes because accidents do happen, you do not need everything under the sun. You will find that as your child ages there is also people who will be buying different things that will continue to fill up your home. I’m not saying don’t buy anything just ask yourself if you need it. For the most part my children have so many toys from friends and family and holidays that I even hide half of them in the other room and swap them out every few months so that they have new things to play with and it is a surprise too.

Second hand shops save money as well as Facebook market place. There are some specific things I wouldn’t buy from those places like maybe stuffed animals because at the time some things may be hard for cleaning purposes however if it is a plastic toy or something that you can clean regularly there is so many things that people can re-use instead of buying new. And if you want to get some sort of savings or even be a family with toys every where (guilty) then this is a great way to save money.

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How lonely it gets is something that I dont personally thing that I feel a lot however I do understand it. Especially with Covid and people with babies are trying to limit contact with people outside of their immediate family however it is lonely. When you have multiple kids you might even be finding yourself isolated, and not on purpose, from people who are like minded. Sure it is great to hang with your children all day but it is also important to get out and have adult interactions. I have a spouse who is home nightly who I talk to and I do regularly talk to friends on messenger and things. That being said I am also looking forward to doing things like walking and little play dates in the summer with friends too. It is import to also have your own time whenever possible away from your children even just for some self care.

Drastic hair loss is something I have been fortunate to not have with either of my pregnancy however I have seen the mental damage it has done to people and friends who have encountered this not talked about enough issue. It is something that may happen every pregnancy, maybe one or two of your ones, or maybe it has different varying degrees too. It also has no timeline on how long it will last. I know for myself, as a woman, even though I have thick hair I can empathize with how it would make a woman feel when they have clumps of hair that have fallen out.

As you can see there is multiple things that may seem pretty obvious to others however this is not the case. This is something that maybe by writing these out a new parent may know before the situation arises! And if you are pumped to read this I can’t wait for you to read the other ones when they come out too!

Natural vs C section

There is no denying that as a mom of 2 young boys, each journey I had with them up until their birth they both came into this world in very different circumstances. My first was a completely natural birth which I give more of the details in the birth story here. Or it was my second son when he had apparently flipped without me knowing and was breech when I had to have a c-section which I knew absolutely nothing about either. You can read that birth story here. The end result for these never changes, you have a little bundle to take care of and to love for the rest of your life. But the road to get there is so drastically different.

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My first son I had completely natural. I went to the hospital they gave me morphine which lasts about 3 hours or so, and then I was in labour. I was unable to get any medications due to the fact that he was nearly out of my body before I even pushed once or twice for him to be completely out. Natural birth is when you have no interventions medically like drugs for pain or anything like that either.



Some con’s for giving birth naturally would be the fact that you may tear and rip and healing may be a lot more challenging. You may not realie it but you are using that area pretty regularly as you, you know, go to the bathroom. You also may have some discomfort also if you for a few days walking or doing much of anything. After all, you did just push a baby out! Another thing with this is you feel everything. The only thing I remember pain wise was I was beside myself getting up and down from the bed and going to the bathroom thinking I had to poop.

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Some pro’s of this is the time it takes to recover. Once you are home and what not provided you got lucky like me with very little or no tearing you will be more than likely back to your regular self physically a lot sooner than if you had a C-Section. Another thing would be your time in the hospital, provided that you have everything with yourself and baby that is okay you may only have to stay there for the night and can make your way home with your new baby sooner than later.

Now for a C-Section. Long story short if you haven’t read my blog link from up there, my son was breech and we never found out til I was in active labour. Before I had a C-Section I had absolutely no idea much about anything regarding having to give birth like that. It was a lot to learn in the moment about recovery and how to heal properly.

I honestly have such a hard time to find a pro with having a C-Section but this would have to be the biggest one. Safety. I choose to have a section because my son was breech. I was told it was a 50 to 50 change that I would end up with a section if he was stuck. Which in hindsight I think he would have and I would have been rushed. This seemed like the safest route to take in terms of having my son and there was no hesitation there.

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Con’s, where do I even begin. I found a section to be extremely hard, in fact I name the 3 hardest things here. One of the reasons why I found it hard was not being able to lift. I have another son and not being able to pick him up was heartbreaking to say the least. Another thing is relying on someone else. I know there are people out there who do is solo and have to do this and I have no idea how they do. I had to rely on my spouse to help me shower the first time, take off the bandaid over the incision, pick things up for me if I dropped it in a weird spot. Just to name a few.

A major con for me that I had no idea would effect me the way it did was mentally. Having a c-section and having to rely on someone or even moving afterwards. I always knew it was a major surgery but it took a bit for me to really KNOW it was a major surgery til it was all over with. Your whole body aches and you are on pain medications for a while at home also. What kind of pain are you asking? I’m talking the pain where if you miss your next round of medication for pain by even a half an hour your sore stomach starts to hurt. There was any times when I felt helpless and unable to do something that I wanted to do.

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If I were to have a choice to have a natural birth and it did not effect my baby I would obviously pick that route however if it was something like a breeched baby or what not where a c-section was an option and the natural route is not necessarily safe I would pick a section again. It wasn’t about me anymore it was about getting my son out in the safest way possible.

I think it is also important to note that I think when it comes to birth you should be open minded in terms that if you have a birth plan it may change. We cannot predict how births will go but keeping an open mind especially in situations between picking a natural birth, or attempting one before a c-section, that regardless of decision it won’t be an easy one to make.

I gave birth to another baby!!

For anyone who has been following the blog for any amount of time you will know that I have one son already. I wrote about his birth story here. And if you have been following it in the last 9 months you will know that I am pregnant with a second son! Well, I was!

If you took a moment to go back and read the blog about the birth of our first son it was all natural (due to lack of time) and it was super fast. For a first birth and him being 9 days early it was actually incredible (Seriously read all the details here!)

Much like my 1st son this little guy decided to give mom contractions on a Sunday evening also. It started with the little cramping and I had gone to bed. By 2am I was fully awake and I was back in the warm tub hoping that the water would ease my back. Which it did for a period of time. About 3am or so I got my boyfriend up again. I still was having contractions. They were getting closer and closer together. At about 5am I had called my mom to come over since she was switched her shift so she could go watch our little Vincent while we went to the hospital.

Contractions SUCK. I do not remember them being so hurtful and sucky as they were with Vincent as they were that day. They checked how far along I was and I was only 3-4cms. Which SUCKED also. Because it was still early labour I was contracting in a small room until I was at least a solid 4cm if not more. They suggested I walk or bounce on a birthing ball. That did not happen. I legit was done. I couldn’t handle it. Maybe because with Vincent they gave me Morphine for the pain so early that helped also? But it was incredibly painful. We stayed in this room from about 630am/7am to some time after 9am. Then when I was checked at 5cm I was sent to a room.

Felix!

Unlike my 1st. I totally 110% responded to wanting an epidural. We had plenty of time to get one and we went that route. It is nerve wracking going through contractions while they jam a needle into your back but I think I did okay. I was surprised by how little pain you feel. Contractions became nearly non existent. I also was surprised when I was able to move my legs moderately. They felt a bit flimsy but I could still move them. Here is when things started to go wonky.. So they were having trouble finding the heartbeat. I don’t mean for lack of. I mean for where it was located for them to hear it. This is when they brought in an ultrasound and they checked.. He had flipped on us and was suddenly head up. He was breeched. At this point it was pretty devastating.

I had 2 options. I never felt pressure in my decisions for this but it still never made it any easier. My 1st option was to attempt a breech birth vaginally. Now this may seem easy but with him measuring 2.5 weeks ahead based on a 31 week ultrasound we knew he was going to be bigger then my 1st son was. They informed me that yes, it may be possible but there is also the possibility that he may get stuck or that we may end up in a C-Section at the end anyways if he wont come out. Then obviously, the second option was a C-Section. A major freaking surgery that if you were to ask me about it there would be no flipping way that I would have told you that was even a possibility. It was not even on my radar.

We just decided to pick a C Section. I say pick as if some crazy prize but it wasn’t.. It was nerve wracking, scary and I was basically petrified. The reason why we chose this was that it was already near lunch time, my labour contractions were a bit stalled, and the fact we could attempt breech and STILL have to have a C section I think would be far more devastating if I waited all day to have one. Luckily they brought us in nearly right away so we were able to be out of the surgery theater at about 130pm and into recovery. I needed more medications before they actually cut me open as I could still slightly feel some sensations. And then at one point I felt so nauseous that I basically dry heaved at one point due to having nothing in my stomach either. My boyfriend said at one point my heart rate dropped to 70 and he was like WHAT THE FRICK. But other than that it was crazy. It is also insane that they give you the baby within 15 minutes. Then you have to be sewn up for the remainder 30-40 minutes because they legit cut through so many layers of your abdomen. I never did skin to skin because I was shivering due to the medications however he got to so that! That made me really happen because he got to experience things with Felix that I got to first with Vincent!

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After recovery and my legs started working again would I be moved to my own room. This was because I had to be able to scoot my bum from the surgery bed to a regular bed. After I had to see how I could walk at 630pm. Also the next test was trying to pee. This is something that is so mind boggling because you are legit drinking liters and liters of water but because of the amount of medications in you, your body becomes so dehydrated. At some point I even was questioning if things were put back in the way they were since my body was not peeing but I was drinking and drinking so I know there was fluids being put in there!

Finally pee happened and I am basically on the mend except for the mandatory 2 day stay in the hospital. Which is totally okay due to the fact that C Sections are actually considered major surgery which is still mind blowing for me considering you are awake during the entire procedure. And with everything that happens to your body from being essentially having things moved around and having things replaced, your body goes through a lot. Not to mention my littlest son Felix also had a touch of jaundice like his older brother due to myself and my boyfriends blood types and how they match while making children.

As I write this it is the spare moments from the first night home. We still have to take Felix in to see if the jaundice has gone the following day which we hope it has. And on top of that also, having a cesarean section for delivery has been anything but delightful. I feel low key depressed, not baby blues but just sad because of the amount of things that you really and truly cannot do for yourself. Not to mention I needed help to shower and was unable to put my own compost in the compost bin under the sink due to the fact I would have to bend over the way that do. I’m not sure how a single mother would so this without help. Honestly. I have my boyfriend home and able to help and even that I find extremely challenging. I hope these next 4 to 6 weeks really fly by and I am able to get back to being myself again. With full mobility of course also too!