Category Archives: pregnancy

What People Wish They Knew About Pregnancy – Part 2

Before I begin, I want to say this is something that I had asked the people on the app “Peanut”. This is an app where mothers sign up and can meet other moms around their towns and essentially become friends and hang out (Not a sponsor). However for me I felt it was far too overwhelming and in typical fashion I stopped using the app. I did however ask a question to the community, that question was “What is something you wish people told you about pregnancy or birth”. These are some responses and once the other parts become active I will be posting them below with links. And you are more than welcome to check them out yourself too!

What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 1
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 3

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One subject someone said was the decreased sex drive while breast feeding. This could be strongly because while in the first few weeks and months after the birth of your child, if you choose to breastfeed, you will spend a lot of your time with them attached to your chest. Maybe you are pumping for relief though so others can also feed your little one however if you are exclusively breastfeeding you will be spending a lot of your energy with them attached to your breast. Which obviously to some extent will make you maybe not have the sex drive you once had before giving birth.

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How long to feel normal varies from person to person however it does not happen over night. If I remember correctly I feel like giving birth vaginally made it so that I was able to feel normal a whole lot sooner than it did when I had a c-section birth. I even went as far as talk about the two difference between them in a blog here and I also talk about how there were challenges that I had to overcome with having a c-section in this blog post here. The fact is giving birth to another human has a lot of challenges. However no one prepares you to ever have to wait a long time to feel normal and healed or even yourself again. When will it stop hurting when you walk up the stairs? Who knows but that is something to think about as well. And if you take longer to feel normal compared to your friends who have had kids there is absolutely nothing wrong with it taking longer or maybe quicker. Times vary from person to person.

What to buy what not to can be a bit subjective. In the fact that what someone might recommend might not be needed for other families and whatever. That being said, I know someone out there needs to hear that, there is NO NEED to over buy every single toy you see on the shelf or every single type of shirt, pants or outfit on the rack. If you have enough clothes to go through a week without doing laundry or even a few spare clothes because accidents do happen, you do not need everything under the sun. You will find that as your child ages there is also people who will be buying different things that will continue to fill up your home. I’m not saying don’t buy anything just ask yourself if you need it. For the most part my children have so many toys from friends and family and holidays that I even hide half of them in the other room and swap them out every few months so that they have new things to play with and it is a surprise too.

Second hand shops save money as well as Facebook market place. There are some specific things I wouldn’t buy from those places like maybe stuffed animals because at the time some things may be hard for cleaning purposes however if it is a plastic toy or something that you can clean regularly there is so many things that people can re-use instead of buying new. And if you want to get some sort of savings or even be a family with toys every where (guilty) then this is a great way to save money.

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How lonely it gets is something that I dont personally thing that I feel a lot however I do understand it. Especially with Covid and people with babies are trying to limit contact with people outside of their immediate family however it is lonely. When you have multiple kids you might even be finding yourself isolated, and not on purpose, from people who are like minded. Sure it is great to hang with your children all day but it is also important to get out and have adult interactions. I have a spouse who is home nightly who I talk to and I do regularly talk to friends on messenger and things. That being said I am also looking forward to doing things like walking and little play dates in the summer with friends too. It is import to also have your own time whenever possible away from your children even just for some self care.

Drastic hair loss is something I have been fortunate to not have with either of my pregnancy however I have seen the mental damage it has done to people and friends who have encountered this not talked about enough issue. It is something that may happen every pregnancy, maybe one or two of your ones, or maybe it has different varying degrees too. It also has no timeline on how long it will last. I know for myself, as a woman, even though I have thick hair I can empathize with how it would make a woman feel when they have clumps of hair that have fallen out.

As you can see there is multiple things that may seem pretty obvious to others however this is not the case. This is something that maybe by writing these out a new parent may know before the situation arises! And if you are pumped to read this I can’t wait for you to read the other ones when they come out too!

Why I Disagree With Home Births

This may be a controversial subject but apparently that is what we are all about here at the blog so why not talk about this!

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If you are fortunate to live in a place where you have options in the health care, you may be given these choices in terms of where to give birth. The main one being a hospital, with a birthing center next and then the home birth choice. In Canada I am unaware if we even have birthing centers and for me, the thought never crossed my mind as I always would prefer a hospital for many many reasons. However I have seen stories where people do in fact in the year 2022 decide to have a home birth because they are an “ideal” candidate. I have 2 kids and I would like to have a third here in the near future and there is nothing in this world that could ever per sway me to ever agreeing to having a home birth. The only way it would remotely happen would be if labor came on super fact and I had no idea if I would make it to the hospital.

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One of the reasons why I think many people like myself choose a hospital is, simply put, you just never know. You really have no idea what is happening when it comes to giving birth. For example, my 2nd was breech and we never knew he was until I was actually in labor. You can read all about his birth here which ended in a c-section. If I hypothetically was to try for an at home birth I would have been right to the hospital for that anyways. And in the process maybe wasting time and potentially risking my life or my child’s life. Call it harsh if you must, but that is the reality of a home birth.

Being in a hospital is such a safe place to be due to the immense amount of resources that are available. If anything were to happen and it needed to have a situation that could be ready for anything this would be the place to go. In my own situation, I never knew my son was breech until I was in labor. What if we had attempted a vaginal delivery just like my first son, and then something happened and I needed to be rushed to a hospital to save the life of myself of even my child. There really is anything that could be happening. And with doctors and specialist and nurses there you really could not be in any safer place for welcoming your child into the world.

Then you have birthing centers from my understanding, is mainly for low risk pregnancy’s. They are a lot more laid back than a hospital so to speak however they do have a bit more specific rules that must be included in a birth plan. I really don’t know any examples of this due to the fact I am not aware if Canada even has birthing centers. Especially with our universal health care I think it would be a home birth or a hospital birth. From my understanding though, a birth center is some what of a middle ground in terms of giving birth. It is more or less a mix of a home setting with some hospital interventions if necessary and to some extent too.

And finally, home births which are just that. They are hiring some sort of professional whether a midwife or a doula or maybe even a nurse, and having your baby inside of your home. There is minimal interventions medically so to speak and only people with low risk pregnancy are even considered for this. The whole purpose is to have a birth as natural as possible without the hospital setting. And well, if something goes wrong then that is a whole other story. This includes not having any medications to help and maybe even having a minimal amount of monitors even checking the health status of your baby.

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This may come off blunt (but if you are already a big reader you will know I don’t sugar coat things) but in 2022 there should not be any home births. There is so much that can happen in the blink of an eye that if not at a birthing center at the very least, you could not only be putting your baby in danger but also yourself too. This also raises the question, if something were to happen during child birth at home with the baby or the mother, who is to blame? The parents who decided to have the home birth? The people who encouraged this practice or were essentially helping the baby be born into this world? There really is a bunch of raised questions that could be asked when in terms of what if’s and if something goes wrong.

I am a firm believer in science. I think that with so many interventions to help with child birth there is little reasons why babies should be born and die due to neglect (Which is what home births are in my honest opinion). I dont even understand how any parent who decides this and has something happen (Heaven forbid it does) would be able to live with themselves knowing that the situation could have many been prevented provided they were in an established center that was well equipped to handle crisis when it should show up.

Child birth can be stressful enough, being in a hospital may be stressful for some and I understand the reasoning for wanting a home birth, however I don’t agree that they should happen. A hospital is there for a reason, and that reason just may be to save the life of your baby and yourself.