Having a baby can be a super stressful time, Believe me, I was there. Not that long ago. In fact, the goal is to even go back there once my boyfriend and I find out we are moving back home to Nova Scotia (And a third time too!). However, There is a lot of things that no one talks about when giving birth and had it not been for a few friends who have been having kids a lot longer than myself or a friend who has a son who is 2 months older than my own telling me these things I would have had no idea some of these things. Sure you get the books and read them but do you REALLY read them? I know I skipped through pages near the end so you aren’t alone. Here is some things that stuck out to me.
Stairs Suck! When I was in the hospital I was on like the 2nd or 3rd floor. I never once took the stairs until I arrived home. We took the elevator and that was basically all. Well let me tell you, It was CRAZY the amount of pain you have when you have to walk up the stairs. I had about 5 or so stairs going into my house and our bedrooms were on the top floor which was another 10. No one ever said that your whole legs and butt we’re going to have this weird pain for a while as you walked up them. Thinking back I guess I could have said that would be the case since you know, You did just have a baby come out of down there but it was something I never read about or even thought about at all until I had to go home and walk up the stairs myself.
This next part might have been my own oversight, But DAMN do you ever bleed. Think basically a super period that lasts for an ACTUAL month straight. Some people may have known this I suppose but this was actually insane for me. Not to mention you are unable to wear tampons for this journey, you have no choice but to wear pads. And let me stress this enough, You can NEVER have enough pads and make sure they are maxi and the highest absorbance ever. I didn’t even use a pad in the first 2 days I was there per say as I was using the hospital ones that was basically 4 times the size of a normal one. That was mostly as a second layer. Then I used them at home which is extremely large amount. Thankfully with Covid 19, I didn’t really leave the house. Also don’t forget the “Water Bottle” That you need to fill with warm water and have it run over you as you .. ya know go to the bathroom.. so that it doesn’t hurt your down there when you go to pee. Something no one mentions until you actually have to go to the bathroom that’s for sure. Thankfully I never really tore anywhere so that wasn’t really a concern for me. At least with this baby anyways! A friend of mine had recently said that they discovered adult diapers and said they were a life saver and wished that she had them for her other kids. Me, I don’t think I can go that route because mentally I cannot fathom changing the diaper of my new baby and my own diaper. Pad’s or not I just cannot picture myself being in that situation.
Breastfeeding is not easy and is normally pressured to new moms. I started and stopped after a few days and I will probably put that in another blog later about my story for it. They make breastfeeding look so easy on movies and TV shows that it really isn’t easy at all. You have to make sure your baby is latching properly, that they are getting enough to drink, for me it was extremely stressful and when we were in the hospital for 48 hours due to my son having jaundice and a slight heart murmur (That went away thankfully!) it was stressing me out whether or not he was drinking enough. And then when we came home, being up by myself I felt alone and my Boyfriend wanted to be more involved also. It just did not feel right for us. Will we try it again with a second baby? Maybe. But if it doesn’t workout it doesn’t workout. You have people who will be snobby towards you and pressure you into breastfeeding because that is apparently the best way when in reality the mindset should be fed is best. Especially nurses in the hospital can make you feel this way. My friend who had decided with her partner that they wanted to do formula from the beginning. She also felt the pressures of this. I can tell you one thing though, if with baby number 2 we do end up breastfeeding straight through, there is absolutely no way I will be breastfeeding when the baby is over the age of 1.5 MAX or if we are pregnant with baby number 3. Imagine, having a 2 year old drinking your milk while a new born is also there. That is insane to me!
Hospital bag is pretty standard I would say. There is plenty of resources online and lists you can check out. For me I think the biggest things was a phone charger since we live away from my family this was great to keep in touch. Another would be snacks. They don’t provide any really only meals. Mind you, if you are picky like me this was a really big deal and if you end up having an epidural than you cannot have any food. We never had to deal with that as it was so fast with my son. If you have a tablet or even a laptop though with some DVDs (In case the hospital doesn’t have WiFi) then I would bring that too. I used that on my phone to put some shows from Netflix on since the hospital didn’t have WiFi and where I was home for the time before I had my son I had plenty of data so there was no charges thankfully, but it was great when I was overnight in the hospital and my boyfriend was home with the dog.
And lastly, and certainly not least. Formula is FLIPPING expensive. Normally when people talk about babies and what have you they talk about diapers being super expensive and blah blah blah. Wrong, Formula is super expensive! Funny enough we started by using the brand Similac. You would think it would be fine as it was one of the most popular brands or well known at least. We found it was making our son constipated though. Which was not good. I would push and have himself throw up or formula come out of his nose. It was strange. We talked to a few friends and they all were on basically store brand ones. One of them even recommended us to use the Walmart brand, Parents Choice I think. The difference was incredible. He was fine on the store bought brand AND it was 10$ cheaper as well. Needless to say we started using that one. For baby number two if we do go the formula side we for sure will be starting with that one as well too.
As you can see there are some things that people really don’t tell you about having a baby. I’m sure there will be a lot more as the time rolls around for baby number 2. Or even 3 when that happens as well. And hopefully you maybe learned something interested for your own pregnancy or even your spouses!