Tag Archives: fAMILY

Easter traditions I grew up with

Easter can sometimes be a controversial subject for many parents. Ever hear the saying “Easter is not a second Christmas”? This would be because many parents go way overboard with buying things at Easter foe their kids. I’m probably (for sure) guilty of over buying slightly. But I wouldn’t say we go overboard here. Maybe this is because my parents never went overboard for us. Easter wasn’t about presents per-say, It was about kind of welcoming spring time and anticipation for the warm weather and when you could play outside from dawn till dusk.

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The big theme was outdoor toys in my house growing up. We had skipping ropes, chalk, skip-its, bubbles, maybe some bug catching baskets or nets. We always had outdoor stuff that we could play with as the weather warmed up. Even different types of pool toys or what not to hang out. A sprinkler was not unusual too. Anyone have the crazy armed octopus sprinkler too? Or maybe the wacky fire hydrant that spun around and you would run through. Of course we did get candy and chocolate however we never had an abundance. Just enough to last a solid week or two and this was eating so much daily and then it was gone. Some of the best things we got were the outdoor toys, anyone remember the ankle killers, Skip-its?

In my home we would wake up, no earlier than 7am. Wait for our parents and then head to the living room. We never had things wrapped though, again, this is Easter not a second Christmas. We would however have one “wrapped” gift eventually from our grandparents which would be in an Easter bag and Ill go more into detail later about that. So we would normally be allowed one piece of chocolate before breakfast. This was something like a kinder egg. No we were not allowed to eat an entire chocolate bunny before breakfast!! But we did have a treat. Fun fact: I was actually allergic to chocolate more so as a kid to the point I would break out in rashes in my elbows and knees. So it wasn’t hard to tell when I would sneak a few extra pieces within a day or two. Especially when I was scratching up a storm. Then we ate a bigger breakfast. Normally bacon or pancakes the whole shebang so to speak. Even if my dad wasn’t home and was away driving the truck my mom still did a bigger breakfast for us though since it was Easter. When we were younger we did go to church the night before though, We always typically went to church on a Saturday night because it was far less people so you didn’t have to wait forever to get out of the parking lot or to get your communion because everyone wasn’t there.

After lunch we either waited for my grandparents to arrive for an early supper/super late lunch. Or if they were not coming over then we went there. Now my grandparents gave us similar things every year. One that they got every year was they got us our new bathing suits. This was huge because we knew summer was on the way and we could swim soon. We also did swimming lessons as a kid so it was exciting to know summer was coming too. They also gave us a chocolate bunny, maybe milk chocolate or maybe white or rice filled. And they always gave us a card sometimes with 20$. My grandparents had the 3 of us and 2 other grand kids but they lived in another province and then moved to England. So we were the only grand kids that were really close.

Easter was something that we loved to look forward to, not because it was about chocolate or hot big our baskets were but because it was another milestone through the year. It never had to be about a second Christmas. I know that looking at different people across Facebook giving their kids literally everything and anything under the sun is wild and amazing. They give their kids a huge bucket to load up with treats and goodies because the old fashioned basket was far too small. Call me crazy but all of my children have the same size basket and will have the same things together too. Sometimes we even got new pairs of sandals or shoes or even a new spring outfit to wear as the weather warmed up. I do live in Canada and it was not totally unusual to have an Easter with snow on the ground.

I will mention though, if you are in a family that takes a more religious view than this holiday may mean a lot more for yourselves growing up. Growing up mine was not super religious and as we got older we kind of stopped going to church and did our own things. As someone who is now raising her kids we choose to not raise them with any religion. If they choose to seek that as they get older they are more than welcome to do that. And they would be supported also. However us as a family just are not raising them to be religious or doing anything like that. So for us it is just a super fun holiday and a great way for us to just spend time as a family with a little bit of fun.

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I do believe though, regardless if you go overboard and or you don’t. Keep it chilled when it comes to the Easter Bunny bringing things. At the end of the day the Easter Bunny is not bringing new bikes, or scooters, or game systems or an abundance of clothes to all kids. The Easter Bunny may even be bringing nothing to some kids. But to keep it to candy and chocolate like the classic days of Easter Celebrations, that way no child feels left out when it comes to comparing gifts with their friends.

Soooo Ready for September – Update

To say this summer was a flop is a MAJOR understatement. And by major I mean it was a total flop. It didn’t help that it started with Covid and ended with having to put our family dog down. Needless to say though I am ready for a new season and new adventures.

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Our summer started off horrible with covid hitting out home. After dodging it for over 2 years including spending the beginning in Quebec where cases were super rampant, we got it. It literally kicked my butt. My two boys also had it and they were just having a really bad cold. I talk about this more in details in upcoming blogs, Be sure to look for those as it really isnt as big of a walk in a park as everyone makes it sound like. It completely sucked.

Another hard thing that happened this summer was that we had to put our Sheldon down, our family duck tolling retriever. I’m not sure if I was writing about it in previous updates however if you are a follower on any social media you would know that there is a bit of health issues that started the beginning of this year. We had tests done and what not but even medications at one point were not helping. As sucky as it was we made a promise to ourselves that we would never keep any animal alive just to have them alive. He just was not getting better and the medications he was on should have been causing some weight gain when he was steadily losing it. We made the tough decision that obviously something was wrong and to spend thousands to have the same outcome, he was not an young dog by any means either. It was by far one of the hardest things that we have ever had to go through but we feel like it was the right decision considering near the end the vet had said that she thought it was cancer and there basically is no coming back from that at his age and the surgery’s that would be needed and whatever interventions as well too. We will get another dog but it wont be any time soon though that is for sure.

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Streaming has been rocky, I had suck high hopes for the summer to be able to stream some more than usual but here we are and I’m giving up on the 5 days a week streaming. We are back to focusing on the 3 days a week and getting back to consistency. When I want to do more I can totally do bonus streams but for the time being right now it is just going to be 3 days. I swear every single time I want to stream more though something ALWAYS pops up and I am unable to do it for some silly reason and this summer was no exception to that also.

I started another weight loss challenge in mid August, well the 8th of it. I feel a lot better about this than previous ones. I really need to control the munching late at night though so starting next week well, when I have the check in I will be keeping better track of calorie counting though because the over eating is not helping anyone. I have also recently have started back at the elliptical which is a huge win for me and I am really happy about that too! I kind of was sitting at the computer one day and was like wow I am going to find the cord to plug it in, and there you have it! It worked great and I was so happy to finally be able to get back to it. Why have one if you don’t use it!

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I HAVE 2 BOOKS PUBLISHED! I did not think they would be done as fast as they are but I have two books out. The Darkness which is explained here, and The Light is explained here. Both are poetry collections with 100 poems, and I still have a third that is also coming out in the near future. I am so happy and excited to share them and feedback I have been getting has been tremendous. I am so happy though to be able to have this chapter opening. I have a few blogs talking about my methods and what not on how I could get not one, not two but three books published this year!

And lastly, in a little over a week I will officially be married, after being with the same person for nearly 12 years it was about time after 2 kids, and hopefully a third that we actually settle down and make it paperwork official. I will have a blog coming up about that also too. It is pretty low key and super low maintenance. It is kind of more of an elopement but kind of not? There is literally 9 people including myself and spouse and our two kids. To the point that we have to actually buy a package! It includes 10 digital photos on an online album so like that is pretty cool too! I am pretty excited but also not super excited because we didn’t want it to be a big deal either. Eventually maybe on an anniversary we will do something bigger like a mock wedding and reception but right now our focus is on the kids and home renovations to set us up for the winter and hopefully saving money.

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Overall though, The summer was nothing like I expected it to be, but then again what in life is. Nothing. I just am still bummed about our dog being sick. I had this feeling back in April but hearing and having to actually go through it. No one ever talks about having to put down a pet because they literally are members of the family and do everything together. People also forget I find that Sheldon was around long before we had kids and he was a huge part of me feeling safe when I was home alone. I hope the fall has some more pleasant surprises but time will tell wont it!

The time is NOW!!!(For Real) -July 2022 Update

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I know this is probably coming out later than expected for the July Update but honestly, it happens! We are getting very excited. My partner has just taken his parental only 3 months compared to the 9 with our first little one however it couldn’t be at a better time. I am so looking forward to the next few months to have a bit more time to “pretend” like I have a job. If you know what I mean by that!

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One thing I am looking forward to is really tackling getting my books finalized. That being said I have covers being created right now, I have one person doing all three since they are so similar due to them being a trilogy. I will explain more about them in the future obviously I would like it to be a surprise once they come out! I am so happy and yet so very nervous. There is such raw feelings and emotions in these books that I feel extremely exposed. Though I know I am not the only one who can relate to these. That is a huge step for me to see everything coming together in that regard.

I know you guys are probably super sick of hearing this but I am here to say it again for the 14th time. I am going to lose weight. I would say out of all my 2022 goals this is probably the hardest one to reach by far. I am really trying but I get so discouraged. I am sure a lot of you can agree reading blogs like this where I dont lose weight is probably hard. But I am totally taking advantage of the fact that my partner has parental and wanting to lose weight and get ahead of this next and final pregnancy when the time comes. And for the obvious reason that I want to be a healthier version of myself. This time I want to make it different. I want to look at myself and bring back habits when I was working and not able to eat the entire night on the couch. I am going to even be posting mini daily vlogs on my tiktok which you can follow here or at the username @StaySeeJ. I think this is a great way for em to be held accountable and to show you guys what it really is like being a picky eater. I know that I cannot be the only one here who eats this way and I want to show you all that life isn’t just about salads and you can do anything you want to do. This is why I mentioned here about this a little bit on the weekly blogs that for the summer every other week I will have a blog that is pre-written (as you know I do most of the times anyways) I really want to hammer down and show you guys that obviously my food habits are an issue but I can still lose weight or be better at not using toxic behaviors like binge eating nightly I can still have balance.

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As you know I will never limit myself when it comes to snacks and things however I will do things a bit differently in terms of eating. I dont count macros or micros or whatever ohs I always just counted calories. I am trying to think of healthier alternatives though like these reese bars . I also have a can of slim fast chocolate that I hope to put to good use. As I have said before the hardest part for me is when I at at night watching TV like I need to eat food. One big thing I did the other day was that I brushed my teeth early on. I was literally thinking why am I getting these chips. What is the reason? and the only thing I could think of was boredom so I got up brush my teeth and never ate anything else for the rest of the night. That’s progress to me.

Another thing I am so excited about is to be live more also too! Since May I have been doing fantastic in terms of streaming. I have been pretty good at keeping my schedule going. I have had some days off and I have had some shorter streams but knock on wood I have been doing great while trying to be regularly live again. Going live is something I enjoy doing and getting back into it and feeling as great as I do since before I had kids. I feel like I am finally putting it on the forefront again (Obviously with 2 kids I have a good enough reason to not be regular but as a parent we sometimes put ourselves last all of the time when we need to remember we also are important) Check out this blog here if you want to see how I put myself first in more depth. I also am excited to finally have a great background using these lights for my stream area. The two strings that I used fairy lights for one and the second set were round bulbs however not warm white like here the multi color version . The entire side and stream looks fantastic. I may even be preparing for a revamp/re brand here in the near future! Even with a mascot too! I will be streaming now 5 days a week temporarily by just adding Tuesday and Thursdays which I am very excited to be live then. I will be live in the day time and keeping the other 3 days (Monday/Friday evenings and Sunday Mornings) And streaming from about 12 noon Atlantic time (11am EST) and going till about 4pm Atlantic Time (3pm EST). It will be a great time and I am so looking forward to it!

Surreal Feeling of Parenting

If you are not a parent I’m not entirely sure that you will know what this feels like. I don’t mean that in any way disrespectfully either. Just that for this particular blog, it really is only since becoming a parent that I have really noticed this.

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Since becoming a parent I have become such a sad sap it isn’t even funny. I swear that I am one of those people who now cries at any animated movie no matter how small the inconvenience is. I tear up and think about things and it makes me feel like trash only because I would poke fun at my mom who also would get sappy about things too. Before becoming a parent I would never feel this way or even admit to it but here we are.

Another thing is that I find myself feeling an overwhelming sense of relief or even sense of serenity. I know that makes me also sound like a weirdo but it’s not. I mean sometimes I am sitting on the couch. One of my son’s is playing with his blocks in front of me. We have the TV on for background noise, and then we have my other son trying to bit his teether toys furiously like he means business. I just look around and I feel a sense of happiness that I dont think I can even describe because it doesn’t even feel real. I feel a sense of wow and wonder that this is actually my life. That this is something I could never have imagined how it felt until I was in the moment. I still can’t believe that after over 2 years, maybe 3 including pregnancy, that I have been a mom and my life has been changed.

*** If you are someone who is really enjoying the blogs and has the financial freedom to want to support this through tips, you are more than welcome to do so by clicking on this link to bring you to my personal Ko-Fi page. Never will you ever be pressured to support in this way however the option is there if you wish to do so! Your continued support regardless of financial or not is greatly appreciated.

Another thing that I know people talk about often is this, Time passes sooo fast with children. I know you know people with kids and have heard at some point, whether a parent or not, you may even have heard your own parents say it, is that “before you know it, they will be growing up like weeds”, “Or off to college soon with them in the blink of an eye” or something along those lines. THIS IS TOTALLY TRUE!! Which is mind blowing right. It really is.

When we had our first child, we knew time was passing fast. When you had to change clothes or even go up diaper sizes you would think to yourself holy moly, there is a lot of time that passed we are already changing up! Well, let me tell you this, when you have more than one kid, you will notice that that time is then going twice as fast as it was with just one child! Maybe I find this is because my second son is growing so quickly and at the time of reading it is 5 months old and next month we start baby foods. I feel like we just had him!


There are even times now when both of the boys are asleep when my spouse and I are laying on the couch and we have to look at each other and wonder, “Wow, we made them” as we look at their monitors form their rooms, which is still hard to grasp. Like we made two human beings. Two little pieces of both of us mixed together they are us. I always knew when I was younger that I would have kids one day. I knew that I would be a mom. It was just a feeling that I knew. And again, I want to state if anyone not a parent is reading this, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children! There is enough pressure for couples to have a family that I do not want to be someone who does that. There is people who want kids and others who do not and there is nothing wrong with that.

I also know a lot of parents feel this strange passing of time due to the amount of parents on my Facebook that when their child’s birthday comes around they comment about how they maybe turned around and they already have a 10 year old! which is again, mind blowing when it comes to things also too. it really is that when you decide to have kids that time has a new meaning. I feel like days in particular happen fast too. There is a lot of times when I turn around and feel like the day has flew by and my spouse is already home from work.

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Being a parent changes you. Or I should say, being a good parent changes you, we know there is a lot of bad ones out there which I would assume their lives don’t really change at all. Being a good parent makes you want to do better, be better, get better. I have been a parent for over 2 years, including pregnancy though I would say closer to 3. I know that I have been changed by my kids and remembering who I used to be and how I dont do some of the things I did before is tough. But there is still many many days when I sit around and think in awe how great my life is. How thankful I am to have 2 children and hopefully we plan for our 3rd and final one towards the end of the year. I am starting to think that this feeling doesn’t ever fade either, It hasn’t since my oldest was born! And it still feels like he was just a little baby and in the hospital and how excited and nervous and happy I was holding him! Even if not he is Mama’s big big baby now!

Hello June, I’m BACK!- June 2022 Update –

Okay. First let me say I am sorry there was no update for May. I really thought about it and I just felt like I needed to skip a month. As you know I tend to write my blogs ahead of time. That is what I did here. And by the time I felt line writing the update we were closer to June than May and well, here we are!

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Blogging has been going okay. I have been pretty good aside from my self care Thursday which I will be starting back this week as I also took a break from that too. I need to also schedule tweets of popular blogs a bit more frequently on my twitter so that I keep getting my link out to people with new hashtags.  Also, call me crazy, but I am low key planning blogs for 2023 including some months where there will be nearly a blog every day with different subjects. I feel like 2023 may be a great year for me to really hammer down and try to get things happening in terms of content creation and making a living doing this.

Poetry is also starting back up. I can confidently say that I was very much into writing poems in April that come May I burned myself out. Thankfully I started to type things up already so I am a bit ahead and behind at the same time. June the goals are to finish writing all the poems for the 3 poetry books. And have all of them typed and put into Kindle in order to get prepped for publishing.  I feel like taking the step back was needed and I can keep following through. I need to make a to do list also for what I need to do to publish the books.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

Weight loss is still a struggle (Surprising right?).. I went more into detail about that here in the Thursday Update if you want to read it here, instead of me repeating it here and if you are a dedicated reader it might get a little bit stale trying to read the same things over and over.

Streams have been fantastic also! I streamed over 30h in May. That was the most hours streamed in one month in easily over a year. It was so nice to actually follow a schedule and actually spend time doing something I enjoy. June will be a great month and with July, August, September I am looking forward to the increase of hours also too. I am also looking at revamping my discord server to be more “Me” focused. I have always made my server about community.  Starting the Society it was about everyone including me. I want this focus to change to be just me. It’s time that I invest in me as a content creator and not just everyone else. Of course I will still be trying to support everyone I can and there will be places to promote themselves and what not. But Id like to still change focus, clean up the server, etc.

I recently had my first ever in my entire life psychic reading by an amazing women Amanda. It was very enlightening and eye opening experience. There were some things spoken that I never post, talk, speak, even think that often about. We connected on twitter and have kept in touch. I ask her silly questions and am trying to keep myself going spiritually and grow. I cannot wait until I can do my next reading. It was a lot to process though due to the things mentioned but what an eye opening experience for me. If you too would be interested in a reading by all means check her out on Twitter, DMs are open (Dont be a creep!) And she even has an email in her bio too. Ill write a whole blog piece on my experience in the near future!! And hopefully more content on the spiritual journey I have just started also! I swear I am such a newbie I have no idea what I’m doing sometimes!

And lastly, Life! I think life is going pretty well. May was a bit of a smaller month in terms of content as I really never touched poetry, I failed a bit on weight loss, and I was a bit down in the aspects of things. That being said I am not going to beat myself up about it either because we are in a new month. What was interesting was my partner and I went out to our very first restaurant dinner though since before my oldest son was born. That is over two years! We went out for his birthday and my mom was watching the boys. It was a great experience and I was so thankful that we were able to spend quality time out. It was such a weird experience leaving them both home and not having one of them with us. I was so happy though because as much as we are home body’s and enjoy eating garlic fingers and donairs here, it really doesn’t beat the feeling of actually going out and actually sitting down in a place to eat. We need to do it more often, but not too often!

There you have it, Kind of a condensed update for the past 2 months since I was a major slacker and suck at this content creation sometimes. See you in July for the next update and I hope you enjoy the blogs lined up for the month too!

Easter Ideas Without Candy or Chocolate

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This is probably going to be a blast from the past but here we go. When you think of Easter you obviously think about the bunny, and candy and chocolate. When I was growing up it was so much more than that but also not over done. Some of the coolest things we got you couldn’t even eat. One reminder that we always had growing up too, was that Easter is not a second Christmas. Though I never really understood what this meant until I had my own children and buying can get a little bit out of hand if you aren’t careful too! Here are some of my top Easter ideas that you can add to your children(s) baskets (or buckets) that won’t give them an all day sugar high!

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Skipping Rope I know simple right. I know we always got a new skipping rope when it came to out Easter Basket. Just as a lot of kids as we grew up did when playing outside, a jump rope had a lot of play time. Sometimes you may have even gotten a longer skipping rope and could use it with a few friends when chanting the songs. Whatever the length of rope, you knew it was always going to be used. The only time it wasn’t used was if you got lucky and that particular Easter was one that it actually snowed on the day and you had to wait til it all melted again to use it. You also could use the ropes to build things in your yard and tie things together, though this practice was not always smiled at by your parents because sometimes accidents happen and they would break. Sidewalk Chalk is always a classic. The only limitation would be if there was somewhere to use it. Most time you can and should use this outside however if you are like me and have a chalk board wall in your kitchen and one in your son’s room then you can use this indoors or outdoors. Outdoors it is always a staple of any neighborhood that is filled with kids is to see there be doodles scattered around the street.

*** If you are someone who is really enjoying the blogs and has the financial freedom to want to support this through tips, you are more than welcome to do so by clicking on this link to bring you to my personal Ko-Fi page. Never will you ever be pressured to support in this way however the option is there if you wish to do so! Your continued support regardless of financial or not is greatly appreciated.

Bubbles is one that I think regardless of age you can always find yourself smiling when you see them around. When I was growing up we used to use straws in order to blow perfect bubbles that we would try and blow the biggest and most perfect one. That is before the wind knocked it into something that made it pop. There is no shortage of bubbles either if you buy the large jugs that have a liter or two. Though I would suggest using them somewhere OUTSIDE because on certain floors they may make it pretty slippery if dumped or too many are popped there. Yard Games or even outdoor toys are a great investment also. Right now since buying our home I am working on growing the collection for my son’s to be able to play on the deck. We already have a hard plastic pool and I was debating on buying them one of those fisher price slide however stuck with maybe a sand and water table instead. The slide is also something that may pop up in the near future too just have to wait and see what happens! If you have older kids you may even want to buy something like lawn bowling maybe washer toss, or beanbag toss. Maybe you want to get a swing set or something (Though they are for sure not on the cheaper end). I also had got my son’s a package of outdoor balls A soccer ball, foot ball, dodge ball and whatever else. This way we can continue to also encourage throwing is done outside and not in the living room!



Bathing Suit’s are something that we got every year and normally it was from my grandparents. You eventually use it if you are in a part of the world that you have super hot days and are able to go swimming. We really enjoyed this because we knew summer was on the way and we could spend out time splashing around at a family friends place. They had an in-ground pool which we would live at on smouldering days.

This also ties in with Clothing as being a great gift as well. This was something that I would buy when my oldest was a baby, he was born a month before Easter and it was nice to be able to buy something for his basket even though he was so little. Now fast forward to my youngest son, he is only 4 months old and so he has things in his basket I got him some new clothes as well as some teethers too. That way he can also enjoy the Easter bunny even if he obviously does not understand it! And, if you plan on having more kids it can be put to good use by being able to make sure that you have a little bit of clothes to carry on to the next baby too!

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And finally, a Skipp-it. Or as many of us born in the 90’s refer to it as, ankle smashers. I’m not even entirely sure if and where you could find this but I know if i ever see it somewhere I will be purchasing one even if only for myself. These contraptions would sit on your ankle and you would swing your foot and jump over the ball on the end that was spinning. If you didn’t pay attention enough they would smash your other ankle too. And if you made someone mad they even may try to physically swing it at you too.

Regardless of what you decide, there are so many other options to fill your little ones baskets with things other than junk and candy. Though there is always some room for a little bit of junk food now and than too!

April Showers – April 2022 Update

So March has been insane. The last 2 weeks with my spouse away through the week has been insane. Staying home with the two boys has been nice but them having super uncharacteristic sleeping patterns has been terrible. At one point I was frustrated at myself for being frustrated. And at another point they were both screaming that I had to actually had to put my youngest into the crib to deal with my oldest because I physically did not have enough hands to do what I needed to do. Thankful that April is the last month my partner works before he arrives on parental for the months of May, June and July. It will be a nice break and i am sure he will be excited fir the needed break to spend with his boys.

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Working out and my health physically has been alright. I talk more about my struggles fro. The previous blog you can read here. The biggest thing I am looking forward for April is to NOT focus on my weight. I am not weighing myself until the very last day of the month. Which I think is a good thing because my mental health is not good when I become obsessive with the weigh ins. I need to really focus on other aspects and I feel like the weight will come off in the process. I can do this as I have said a lot of the time. Read this for more of the details on that, I wont bore you with repetition.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

Easter is coming up and I am thankful to say that I have everything bought for my son’s. I go into more details in the upcoming Easter blogs for them. I didn’t get a whole lot of chocolate or candy but the focus was mainly on the deck. I wanted to be able to focus on that so when the weather becomes nicer we will be able to really hang out there. I am excited to spend some time in the sun which is very much uncharacteristic of myself!

Writing has been going GREAT! I have blogs schedule for the next few months with some still needing scheduling as well as continuing to bulk write and then scheduling. That works great. My goal before my partner is off work for parental was to mainly schedule all blogs possible so that way we can relax and just chill out. I don’t want to have to worry about having to write or schedule plus as things ramp up with my poetry collections the less I have to worry about the better. I have written my The Darkness collection so I am pausing writing poems while I type this one up. That way I can send it to a few friends and get their opinions on it. Ive been working on growing my email list, we are currently at 55 subscribers which is simply incredible! It is a bit of work to grow it but I am so thankful to be able to do this. Ideally I would love to have 250 subscribers before my launch. I also would like all of the collections open because I think that it would be really great after The Darkness launches to be able to pre-order the others if they are up.

Overall I would say things are going well. I am excited for more home reno’s and to be able to stream a bit more again. With him being gone I haven’t done a lot of streaming because the boys have not really been cooperative (kids am I right). I will be streaming an extra few days for the 3 months I have my spouse home also which I am looking forward to. It will be a great opportunity for me to do more on the computer. Since I have been know to multi-task while I am live that wont change!

Here is to a new month with new ambitions and motivations!

When Will I Learn – Self Care Thursday – March 17th 2022

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I swear Ill never learn.  This weekend started with such high hopes and it became diminished by weed and poor judgement.

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I was seeing the lowest numbers on the scale and one weekend was all it took to totally go backwards. I think I will be okay this weekend and by the time this releases I may be back under 240 pounds again. Though the lowest I seen in recent days has been 237lbs which I totally thought let’s eat everything possible because I did a good job. As much as I want to say that the numbers are not a huge motivator they are. I also need to stop rewarding myself with food. For some dumb reason I think I can food should be the motivator when I need to do other things.

One of the hardest parts of this is creating new habits and trying to say goodbye to the old ones. I ate far too much on the weekend which rolled over to Monday. You would think with the sore stomach, and a backup system I have I would learn. For those few days that I over ate I am now paying for it after I get back on track. That is wildly insane to me.  And what is worse is that I obviously still haven’t learned yet to cut that out. Maybe this week will be better and I wont totally screw myself over.

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Working out has been decent. I have slacked in the past week in terms of actually doing it due to the fact I’m pretty I hurt my hip from bring my youngest to bed for an hour which I never want to do ever but some mornings it just is far too early! And then my shoulder was extremely wonky after and that was weird. I have been doing these walk at home videos with Leslie Sansone. They have been going well. I love how easy going they are and accessible too since I watch them on YouTube. Sometimes it is challenging due to the fact one or both kids may be fussy and not napping but I am really pleased overall with how I have been doing those videos pretty regularly.

One of my favorite items to use to workout and get the heart pumping is a skipping rope. Pair this with hand weights for a mini workout when you are a bit crunched for time!

Now fast forward to the last 2 weeks in March. I am kind of looking forward to it but also not. My spouse is away next week from Monday to Friday and the following week from Monday to Thursday. Typically if he is gone like that I barely if at all smoke weed. Which I indent to keep up! It could really effect my binging on food if I’m not smoking weed. I intent to use that time to really hammer down on habits and even blog writing. As well as poetry. I am nearly 2/3rd of the way finished my 3 books.  Once I am done it will be time to organize my poems and prep them for typing as well as edit them roughly on paper. I am so dedicated to making this work it is a little bit insane! But I am so looking forward to it though. I want to really again get a jump on blogs due to the fact my partner is going on parental also for May ,June and July. For those 3 months I will be streaming a bit more often than I normally would. Keeping the same Mon and Fri days but also introducing a Tuesday and Thursday day time stream in the afternoon just for something to do also.

One shake that I found to actually fill me up is slim fast shakes, they are a great meal replacement with a sweet kick added too. When I am needed an added bonus for energy I tend to reach for these Nuun energy tablets.

Overall I think I can be close to my 230lb weight loss goal. We are just over half way through the month and the numbers that I have seen on the scale are re-assuring for sure. I just need to stop feeding my victories with treats and instead maybe reflect and drink some water!!

Setting Up Achievable Goals

Setting up goals can be a daunting task. Setting up achievable goals can be even more complicated. Especially if you don’t properly think things through and you are stuck feeling disappointed in yourself by not properly planning. I know I have been here more than once and as a result I give up on certain ones. Or I am way to hard on myself and I am giving up before I am done. Goals can be something very rewarding especially if they are for something you are willing to wait or work for. For me, I don’t think a day goes by that I am not thinking about at least one of my goals. Or at at minimum, working towards achieving it even if for a small amount of time.

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Time frames are important for goals for obvious reasons. If you don’t plan it right and you don’t make it in time, you will not succeed. Sorry if that seems to be a bit blunt, it is supposed to be. For example, if you want to lose 50lbs in a month. That is a completely unrealistic goal and by the end of you will begin to feel lost and confused and beating yourself up as to why you are were not successful with this. But if you set a goal of losing 50lbs in maybe a year or a year and a half that is something that you may be able to achieve even before the time frame is up, so to speak. Sometimes things have to have strict timelines, Maybe you are working and have deadlines or maybe you are in school and have particular things like an essay done at the certain date. Having self discipline in order to get tasks done in a timely manner is a skill that most people may have difficulty to maintain. However, once you have this quality valued you will work far more efficiently than if you winged it. We all have been there when we are rushing a project and you know it is not your best work but it is passable.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!


Not rushing on goals
can be beneficial to understand when it comes to creating achievable goals. I know for me, if I wait last minute and I find myself rushed on a project, I know when it is over I regret not putting my all into it. I want to be better on things like planning and not cutting my productivity in half being rushed. This is like blogs, Instead of waiting til I have none already written, I need to be more proactive and writing when I have things scheduled so that I don’t have a period of time when I am scrambling and trying to get some happening. I like to have at least 10 or more blogs already written so I can switch some in and out if the need is there. I feel like if I am rushed in writing blogs sometimes I ramble on or I am not putting the effort in that I need to have and it can be really challenging to put out quality content that I would like to do.

Another thing that I have been trying to do is set up achievable goals for my other writing. By the end of this year I would like to have one book published. I have set up something in terms of a time line, when to have things written, when to edit by, when to release the collect, etc. Setting up this goal has really helped me to stay on track and help me stay motivated towards following this through.

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Being realistic is also one of the most important steps if not THE most important steps as it can tie into so much more that is happening. If you say you want to fly to the moon but have no desire to do the training, save money, practice different tests and drills than saying you are going to fly to the moon is super unrealistic and not something you should expect to happen. If you have a goal to lose weight, as mentioned before and you plan on doing absolutely nothing different than you are doing now chances are you are not going to achieve this goal.

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Being realistic with yourself is understanding what it is you want to do, and what you are going to need to do to achieve this. Some things take less steps in order to complete compared to others. Some may take many many steps in order to complete. Fully understanding or in the very least understanding that this will be a challenge is a great first step. There will be a lot of learning along the way I am sure however knowing what it is you will need to do in order to achieve that will help you better prepare for the dedication it will take.

I am sure this also goes without saying, just as I am sure many of us have heard this since we were children, you can do whatever you want to do! If you have a drive and a desire to complete a goal no matter how outlandish you are going to succeed. If you really want to do something and there is no outside factors that you are not willing to try to overcome, you really can say that the sky is the limit for you. I know there are many goals I would like to tackle, in fact making this an income making blog is one of them! And how am I going to achieve that one might ask, by doing what I am now, being consistent, and keep going!

I have a baby on me so this blog update is late and scuffed – March 2022 Update

Im slacking. Majorly. Normally this update is done or at least partially. Not this update. This update is literally being typed up as one kid is beside me having a meltdown between putting mega blocks together and the other is kicking and laughing at the other.

For lack of a better term. This month was straight up sh*t. If you have been following any of my socials you would see a little bit of it. But here is the timeline if how the month went. And yes, therr are some good things also!

First we started with an ice storm. This sucked. We lost power on a Friday about 2pm or so and never got it back til Sunday at about 12pm noon. On top of this there was freezing temperatures which sucked also. We had been able to stay at my parents with our sons because they had power and only had lost it a little bit on the Friday. Thankful they live close to us and we were able to actually stay there with our dog and the boys. Even if it was tough living in another home.

Once we had power again we had no heat. So we assumed that we had a frozen pipe somewhere. This was Sunday. We had brought the boys over but ended up back to my parents when the house was far too cold as we never had heaters either. So back to their house. Monday we got heaters from a neighbour, friend, rented some etc. We had them going nearly all day so at least it was warm enough for us to sleep back in our own beds. Well. The upstairs had heat after all once we turned the furnace on. However downstairs there was indeed a frozen pipe. Where was it you may ask? Where the old home owners had built a wall and we had NO IDEA there was even a rad there. Thankfully it was near our back door and there was nothing of value there so we never had any extra damage.

Fast forward two weeks. Everything going smoothly. The frozen ice storm nightmare is behind us. Well, did we not get a BUTT LOAD of rain? We did. And it sucked. I had out laundry in at about 1230pm. Once the kids were napping. Guillaume came home at about 4ish because I had asked him to flip the laundry. Well, we had water in our freakin basement! It did not seem like we had that much rain to cause a flood. Thankfully we had water that pooled in areas however it was nothing serious. However a major inconvenience none the less.

And here we are in March. Thankful that all the house errors are in the past. It makes it extremely hard when you move to a new home and still are learning so much about it! Especially where certain rads are!

So on to good stuff! My son will be 2 years old tomorrow! Normally I would write a blog about it but this year we are just excited to be home! It really is special to be here so my dad and son can celebrate their birthdays together. This is huge and we couldn’t be more happier. We will have a great supper at my moms and it will be a fun time I am sure. It is his first birthday we can actually soend with family due to covid too. It really is insane to think 2 years has past since we had a baby!

Another great thing for me is I am creating 3 poetry collections to publish. I recently had published an eBook with email sign up as a sampler for the collections that will be released. My hope is to keep growing my email list so that it becomes a great place for different aspects of my writing or content creations. I am so excited for this to happen and I would like it to be really successful also. I think this could be my passion.

Another thing is working out and weight loss. I need to stop being a sad sack of garbage and making excuses and actually do something. I know that I can be the best I can be and lose weight. I make so many excuses and I need to stop. I want to lost 10lbs this month. I also have a max of 10 days to smoke weed too. And I also have 7 no workout days. Every other one I want to do more. I know I can lose weight as I have before. It is just a matter of actually doing it and making it happen. Which can be obviously challenging for me. But I really think March can be my month. I would like to lose some weight before my partner is on Parental leave and we do more walks and things too. I can do it.

As for streams, well with everything February is low key a bust so I really hope that I can bring back for March and April (I know getting ahead of myself!) Because while Guillaume is on parental I hope to pick up a few extra days a week of streams for the time he is off so about 3 months. Hopefully bring myself back to where I was before I had taken so much time off as well as the move and things too.

Overall I am glad that our hiccups were not bigger and we are in a financial position to be able to handle these things (not saying we want anymore!!) But it could have been worse if we we’re struggling in that way though. Things can always be worse and I try to look at that as we were frustrated!