Tag Archives: Baby

Relationships After Having a Baby

Hard Subjects, Life, Parenting, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Anyone could tell you that having a baby is tough. Whether or not you have children you can imagine the turmoil that you have by bringing another life into an equation. People always talk about how cute a baby is, or how well they are, and sleeping habits being great that no one ever really talks about the not so nice things happening. There are for sure ups and downs when it comes to raising a newborn up til they move out and head to collage. I’m going to talk about my opinions on this and if you are already questioning your decisions maybe this will either help or hinder your thoughts on whether or not you should bring a baby into your relationship or not.

If your relationship is rocky, or strained, or you have any major issues that routinely arise I would strongly suggest NOT having a baby. I don’t mean if you have the argument weekly about the dishes being left tin the sink. I also don’t mean who left the laundry to be folded instead of folding it themselves. Bringing a baby into a relationship that is already rocky will not help anyone out. Not to mention do you really want to be bringing in another life to something that is extremely hard already? You will no doubt argue and fight about more then the baby. Sure, there will be a honeymoon phase of the new baby where you are showing them off, or you are trying to share the joy of your little one. Give it a few weeks of little to no sleep, different parenting styles, housework being pushed a bit away, and things like that before you REALLY decide whether or not you have made a smart or a not so smart decision.

One of the hardest parts about having a baby is realizing that you no longer “own” your time. Your life now revolves around another human being for essentially the rest of your life or in the very least when they are 18 years old. Realizing this sooner than later is probably for the best but it is an adjustment. This means the time you used to spend with your partner may be dashed in half. especially depending if they are back to work right away.

Adjusting to life with a new baby alone is hard. Doing it while in a relationship is also hard too. However, I will say in the beginning when my son was very very little I had mentioned to my boyfriend multiple times I have no idea how single parents do this. It was extremely hard to wrap my head around doing things alone. Especially when you are so sore and healing in the first few weeks. And you want to sleep whenever the baby does too! Not to mention, if you have multiple kids and are unable to sleep so easily too since the other child will be awake and running around too!

One thing that I found to be incredible for my relationship since having a baby (And planning on having another one hopefully in the near future too!) is having a Date Night. I am lucky that my partner has a 9-5 job and weekends off so the day can never change however if your spouse has a schedule that changes that is okay too! We have a date night every Saturday night where once our son goes to sleep we watch a movie, we watch some TV shows, we sometimes sit on our phones and just talk about things, we look at houses since we are buying, we laugh or just hang out. Whatever we chose to do we do it together. No video games, nothing else. I think this has helped us INCREDIBLY in keeping close. Finding time to appreciated each other can be challenging when you have a little one.

This wont be as easy if you have a new born since they still wake quite frequently how we still watched shows while he slept on the bassinet beside us. Then what we would do is that we would still watch things but he would be right beside is. Not that he is a year old and sleeping regularly it is nice that on the weekend we have this day together. Whether or not we get special snacks or meals to enjoy once our son is asleep too.

As a couple who I was lucky enough for my partner to take off 9 months (I was not working) when our son was born, and being stuck inside the house due to covid restrictions I can honestly say that there has been some tough points. Being stuck in the same vicinity as your partner unable to show the world your new bundle of joy even to family has been hard. I do feel like am closer to my partner for the fact that we shared the moment of giving birth together. Would this have saved a relationship on the rocks? Probably not. But for him and I being together for over 10 years this was a huge moment and a new thing we both got to experience together.

It is important to remember, before bringing a baby into the world you should have a great base to be able to have the most stable life this tiny human can have. We all know a family or two that had been struggling and brought new people into the world and you wonder, why the heck they thought bringing a new baby into that would be a good idea? Don’t let yourself be that family people mention and feel bad for. Give your child the best start at life that you possibly can! This includes having a great relationship or maybe a stable house if you aren’t in a solid relationship either.

I would also like to point out also, having a stable and solid relationship doesn’t have to mean with someone sexually or romantically. It could mean having a stable and supportive system in place to help you along on this journey too. Maybe it is family or friends who have had children before that you can ask them questions or concerns they arise as your little one grows, or someone you can even confide in when you have challenging things pop up in the new parent life.

And remember, YOU CAN DO IT! Even if things seem to be tough, You can do this!


Was your relationship in a good spot when you decided to have kids?
We’re you a single parent or in a relationship?


Let me know in the comments below!

– Stacey

PS: Be sure to join my EXCLUSIVE mailing list!! You can get all the details on new items going up for sale, special offers, bonus streams, and even helping to decide characters in future book names, and other things too! Don’t wait or miss out on these opportunities!!

By clicking submit, you agree to share your email address with the site owner and Mailchimp to receive marketing, updates, and other emails from the site owner. Use the unsubscribe link in those emails to opt out at any time.

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Bought Baby Food VS Homemade Baby Food

Life, Parenting, , , , , , , , ,

When my partner and I decided to start a family one of the first things we talked about was baby food being made at home or store bought. It wasn’t even a debate we both obviously choose to do the at home route. Sure it did require more work than grabbing a jar and opening and heating it. You had to plan ahead, prep the food, cook it and blend/puree it for your little human. BUT, It was a lot cheaper and healthier than the store made/brand made. Did you know we bought a jar of baby food approximately April or May of 2020 and and it expires the following year. That does not feel right for us to be feeding whatever substance was in there but we couldn’t complain about the convenience so through we would have a few jars on hand just in case we had a situation where we needed to give him food.

Homemade experience for me has to be fair, been pretty great. Before I had moved to Quebec I worked as a Residential Councillor Assistant. Where I worked in homes with adults who have difficulties ranging from mental to physical. I had to puree some of my clients foods there so when I thought about doing it at home It really wasn’t that hard as long as you unstuck the blades and have patience to not completely water down the food before it is fully pureed!

Making homemade baby food seems easy. And even though it does take time it really is easy! We started with carrots and sweet potatoes with our son. Then we moved on to peas and green beans and green peppers as well. We never added meat til he was a bit older. He loved veggies, Oh and we also did squash and turnip too! But depending on how those are mixed he isn’t always a fan! When I cook things I made sure to over cook them. Remember from a previous blog I don’t really eat a lot of fruits or veggies HOWEVER this is something I do know by looking how cooked they are or how they should feel. A friend of mine said their doctor said also if the veggie is green to use the water from it to puree, however if it was orange or whatever else color to throw it away. We followed this advice too. We never puree mixed veggies together as we like to mix and match cubes for his meals and if we were to put say squash and turnip together that would be weird having to use those cubes all the time. We also use the same trays so that way it really can help when measuring and figuring out if he is eating the same amount to add another cube or not too.

Pureeing meat can be tough, Again based on my previous job I was doing this quite frequently but to my boyfriend who never really seen it before he described it looking like cat food. When a friend of mine was telling me about how to make baby food, she suggested that to do chicken breasts or say stew beef in a crock pot. Add some stock with it and put it on for the day. The juices help when pureeing and it also makes the meat very tender so you can blend it quite easily.

Thankfully, with Covid we don’t go anywhere so my experience with store baby food is limited. When covid was low here and travel wasn’t frowned upon, we went to visit and introduce our son to my partners parents. They live about 2.5 hours away. Sure, we could have fitted out a small cooler for the ice cubes. Instead we thought for the obvious convince why not bring a jar. I’m not even sure if he was old enough for protein yet! Lunch time came around to prep his food. The instructions were simple enough. Just put in a bowl, heat, serve. Do not heat in jar as it heats unevenly. I went to dump the jar into his bowl and whoa, It was so watery I’m not sure how people give it to their babies. It was for sure smooth but I have no idea how parents give it when the “sauce” barely stays on the spoon. It was so close to water my boyfriend even asked if I added too much when I jokingly said “No, no.. This is straight from the jar”. For convenience, sure, but anything else I feel like it was just not the quality, texture, or thickness that I would like to give my son or future kids either. Not to mention I think it is about a dollar a jar. This means if you give your child (as they grow) a jar or a few a day, it will become super costly. Not including biscuits or other purees or snacks that you give to your ever growing child.

Also before closing, if time is something you are worried about, don’t be! Friends of ours whose son is 2 months older than my son are simply pureeing food they eat for supper. Which essentially just a few moments at dinner times to prepare. My boyfriend and I eat at weird times and you all know my eating habits. Thankfully my partner has a lot better food habits than myself but with his job and or time we still do cubes. I make different cubes all at once over a weekend and it typically lasts for the month or so depending how much of a particular fruit or veggie we get. Remember once froen the cubes can last about 3 months too. Though I have never had them stay in there that long, we normally used them up.

Few tips I would suggest is:
– If you have a blender, you wont need to go get a food processor. A blender is what we used and it works fine. Just do not over fill as it will be harder to get the texture you want because you will always be pushing the chunks to the bottom.
– Add water SLOWLY, Once you add too much water it is hard to go back. So add it slowly to not over add.
– Things like blueberries, strawberries, cooked green peppers will not likely require much water if any because they are so watery. You just might need to stir a bit more to move the chunks around.
– If it is a green vegetable, keep the water from it to use to mix things a bit smoother.
– Also if possible, get ice cube trays that are the same size (or super close) so that way you can judge if your child is eating more or less of something.

Other than that, I would suggest just trying it out and seeing! If someone was to ask me which I would say to do, hands down making baby food at home is the best thing, for multiple reasons. Sure, it may take longer then opening a jar, but in the end it is totally worth it!

-StaySeeJ08

Things no one tells you after giving birth

Life, Parenting, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Having a baby can be a super stressful time, Believe me, I was there. Not that long ago. In fact, the goal is to even go back there once my boyfriend and I find out we are moving back home to Nova Scotia (And a third time too!). However, There is a lot of things that no one talks about when giving birth and had it not been for a few friends who have been having kids a lot longer than myself or a friend who has a son who is 2 months older than my own telling me these things I would have had no idea some of these things. Sure you get the books and read them but do you REALLY read them? I know I skipped through pages near the end so you aren’t alone. Here is some things that stuck out to me.

Stairs Suck! When I was in the hospital I was on like the 2nd or 3rd floor. I never once took the stairs until I arrived home. We took the elevator and that was basically all. Well let me tell you, It was CRAZY the amount of pain you have when you have to walk up the stairs. I had about 5 or so stairs going into my house and our bedrooms were on the top floor which was another 10. No one ever said that your whole legs and butt we’re going to have this weird pain for a while as you walked up them. Thinking back I guess I could have said that would be the case since you know, You did just have a baby come out of down there but it was something I never read about or even thought about at all until I had to go home and walk up the stairs myself.

This next part might have been my own oversight, But DAMN do you ever bleed. Think basically a super period that lasts for an ACTUAL month straight. Some people may have known this I suppose but this was actually insane for me. Not to mention you are unable to wear tampons for this journey, you have no choice but to wear pads. And let me stress this enough, You can NEVER have enough pads and make sure they are maxi and the highest absorbance ever. I didn’t even use a pad in the first 2 days I was there per say as I was using the hospital ones that was basically 4 times the size of a normal one. That was mostly as a second layer. Then I used them at home which is extremely large amount. Thankfully with Covid 19, I didn’t really leave the house. Also don’t forget the “Water Bottle” That you need to fill with warm water and have it run over you as you .. ya know go to the bathroom.. so that it doesn’t hurt your down there when you go to pee. Something no one mentions until you actually have to go to the bathroom that’s for sure. Thankfully I never really tore anywhere so that wasn’t really a concern for me. At least with this baby anyways! A friend of mine had recently said that they discovered adult diapers and said they were a life saver and wished that she had them for her other kids. Me, I don’t think I can go that route because mentally I cannot fathom changing the diaper of my new baby and my own diaper. Pad’s or not I just cannot picture myself being in that situation.

Breastfeeding is not easy and is normally pressured to new moms. I started and stopped after a few days and I will probably put that in another blog later about my story for it. They make breastfeeding look so easy on movies and TV shows that it really isn’t easy at all. You have to make sure your baby is latching properly, that they are getting enough to drink, for me it was extremely stressful and when we were in the hospital for 48 hours due to my son having jaundice and a slight heart murmur (That went away thankfully!) it was stressing me out whether or not he was drinking enough. And then when we came home, being up by myself I felt alone and my Boyfriend wanted to be more involved also. It just did not feel right for us. Will we try it again with a second baby? Maybe. But if it doesn’t workout it doesn’t workout. You have people who will be snobby towards you and pressure you into breastfeeding because that is apparently the best way when in reality the mindset should be fed is best. Especially nurses in the hospital can make you feel this way. My friend who had decided with her partner that they wanted to do formula from the beginning. She also felt the pressures of this. I can tell you one thing though, if with baby number 2 we do end up breastfeeding straight through, there is absolutely no way I will be breastfeeding when the baby is over the age of 1.5 MAX or if we are pregnant with baby number 3. Imagine, having a 2 year old drinking your milk while a new born is also there. That is insane to me!

Hospital bag is pretty standard I would say. There is plenty of resources online and lists you can check out. For me I think the biggest things was a phone charger since we live away from my family this was great to keep in touch. Another would be snacks. They don’t provide any really only meals. Mind you, if you are picky like me this was a really big deal and if you end up having an epidural than you cannot have any food. We never had to deal with that as it was so fast with my son. If you have a tablet or even a laptop though with some DVDs (In case the hospital doesn’t have WiFi) then I would bring that too. I used that on my phone to put some shows from Netflix on since the hospital didn’t have WiFi and where I was home for the time before I had my son I had plenty of data so there was no charges thankfully, but it was great when I was overnight in the hospital and my boyfriend was home with the dog.

And lastly, and certainly not least. Formula is FLIPPING expensive. Normally when people talk about babies and what have you they talk about diapers being super expensive and blah blah blah. Wrong, Formula is super expensive! Funny enough we started by using the brand Similac. You would think it would be fine as it was one of the most popular brands or well known at least. We found it was making our son constipated though. Which was not good. I would push and have himself throw up or formula come out of his nose. It was strange. We talked to a few friends and they all were on basically store brand ones. One of them even recommended us to use the Walmart brand, Parents Choice I think. The difference was incredible. He was fine on the store bought brand AND it was 10$ cheaper as well. Needless to say we started using that one. For baby number two if we do go the formula side we for sure will be starting with that one as well too.

As you can see there are some things that people really don’t tell you about having a baby. I’m sure there will be a lot more as the time rolls around for baby number 2. Or even 3 when that happens as well. And hopefully you maybe learned something interested for your own pregnancy or even your spouses!

-StaySeeJ08

Covid Blows

Life, , , , , , , , , , ,

Before I begin know that this is strictly my opinions and thoughts. A lot of people say 2020 sucks, though there are aspects that I am not a fan of, there is a lot of things as that I am thankful for. The birth of my son, health, and happiness. I also am saddened that as I write this in the car on my tablet my 6 month old son is on his way with us to meet his grandparents (one set anyways!) for the 1st time, AT 6 MONTHS OLD! (Mind you this is also being published a bit later since I tend to write blogs a bit in advance!) But safety first when dealing with covid and the health of our older family members. We just cannot take that risk for them OR for Vincent (Myself too I guess since I am asthmatic too)

I am bummed that I am unable to go Into my son’s doctor’s appointments. Part of this is because our doctor is French and I just do not have the skills that are needed to understand or ask the questions I would like to. My boyfriend is bilingual so it just makes sense that he goes in. I do get to write questions down though and he asks the doctor which is great. And I do go in the car and just wait outside for them to be done. Honestly it is the least I can do really. But to not have been to any of his vaccines either which is a bummer too, as a new mom I feel like I should be there for the cuddles and wiping of tears. I feel like I am missing these important moments but am relieved that my significant other has taken so much time off of work to go to these things with me.

Another thing that I am grateful that here my boyfriend was able to take 9 months paternity to be home. I think if he was back to work with his type of work and being around people it would have been more stressful. I think him being able to get our grocery and errands (I am at risk with having asthma) that if the rules were reversed and I had to do these things with the baby I would be not in a good place mentally. I don’t think with baby number 2 he will take the full 9 months off maybe 5 or so but still the welcomed help is always appreciated!

I think it sucks that Quebec was a bit rough on their precautions in the beginning as in they took a while to put rules in place. Now you must wear a mask in all public spaces that are indoors. Or certain arrows in grocery store show directions also. I think in the big scheme of things I am a bit saddened that we aren’t in the “Atlantic Bubbles” where the Atlantic provinces are able to freely come and go so my mom or dad aren’t able to come over to meet their littlest grandson. However my mom has said when flying is allowed or not as frowned upon she said she would be flying over since she does have the air miles! Which is something to look forward to also.

One thing I would never want to do is wish time away. Time is one of the most precious things that we can give to someone or have for ourselves. However, I cannot wait til we move back to Nova Scotia. I am excited for us to buy a new forever house and have our own space that we can paint and decorate as much or whatever way we wanted to do. My hope is that covid has not made this delayed anymore the it needed to be. I just want to have our space basically again.

I think the hardest thing is the virus is preventing us from showing off our son to people. Call it selfish or conceited but who wouldn’t want to show off their child to their friends and family, I hope that this covid stuff is pretty cleared up soon so we can prep for a return back home, (Did I mention how excited we are to be going back home!).

I also will say going out in public is something I was super nervous about. Since March actually I never went into a place til about June. And for this it was an eye appointment. Wearing a mask was super odd but it wasn’t bad. Then recently I went to do a little retail therapy to the dollarstore. My boyfriend said it was the best 250.00 he spent. It was so surreal going with arrows on the floor and also following the social distancing but I had went early in the morning so it was super easy anyways. Even before Covid I tend to go do things as soon as they open) Depending on the store of course or day of the week) So that the least amount of people are around. Interesting enough the people not following the rules are older folks who are typically more at risk. They kind of just walk all willy nilly and go where ever they want to.

I don’t think overall that covid really impacted us in a sense though. My partner and I are very much home bodies so for us to stay home is not a major stretch from reality. And though us being I the same space for days and days is a lot to deal with I think we are doing good if we haven’t killed one another yet hahaha. It just is a bummer that the things I took for granted like going to the pharmacy for tampons, corner store for chocolate, dollarstore for art supplies, I am not really able to do as much but things seem to be settling down which is a good thing of course though.

People think that this is a new normal, maybe for now but I think once a vaccine is produced or we eradicate the virus we will be back to normal life. And if anything, it taught us to stay the hell away from others!

-StaySee xo