Before I begin, I want to say this is something that I had asked the people on the app “Peanut”. This is an app where mothers sign up and can meet other moms around their towns and essentially become friends and hang out (Not a sponsor). However for me I felt it was far too overwhelming and in typical fashion I stopped using the app. I did however ask a question to the community, that question was “What is something you wish people told you about pregnancy or birth”. These are some responses and once the other parts become active I will be posting them below with links. And you are more than welcome to check them out yourself too!
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 1
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 2
Fundal Massage for uterus was something that I had NO IDEA about when I had given birth the first time. I will say having a c-section for my second I did not notice if there was any massage which I assume there was not due to the fact I had just been cut open there. However with my first vaginal birth HOLY MOLY it was tough. The nurses literally will put their palm or even their fingers and wiggle it around your abdomen to see if your uterus is shrinking back and it does not tickle. They check this periodically and it is absolutely not comfortable at all. Yes it is important and needs to be done but just know that it does not feel great though at all. I know when it comes to having our third and final child, as much as I am hoping to have a vaginal birth similar to our second I am HOPING that this massage happens quickly and it becomes short lived!
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Forceps or vacuum was something I knew very little about and thankfully with the 2 children I have (And hopefully the 3rd when the time comes) we dont need to know anything about these! This is where you have to have these tongs to help pull your baby out. And the vacuum is just that, it will suction to the top of your babies head to help them come out of you. I was only told about these in my 1st pregnancy when the doctor was half threatening me with gaining too much weight and how this may be something that is needed if I kept gaining. Luckily I never needed them as my son came so fast however I have heard of these being essential in giving birth for whatever reason. In the moment I can imagine they are horrifying and worrisome.
Lack of sleep from labor to months later is something that you may think is assumed however it isn’t. I will say that with my first two son’s they have been nearly incredible sleepers compared to stories I have heard from friends. As obvious as it may be no one really talks about the lack of sleep you get after a baby is born. For my second pregnancy I found it was a lot harder to sleep the bigger I had gotten however I don’t remember that with my first. Afterwards you are also looking at about 2 months of lack of sleep where the first month you are basically a zombie in the process. I know it sounds crazy but it is true. Babies do drink every 3 hours so they need to really be up that much. After about 2 months both of my son’s slept alright averaging maybe 6-9 hours a night. What makes this challenging is that when you have multiple children. With my first I was able to sleep when he slept and catch up on sleep. However with my second that was not entirely possible due to the fact that he was on one nap per day and the newborn didn’t exactly sleep when you wanted them to!
Mom Guilt is something that I dont think anyone ever can prepare you for. This also can be parenting guilt too. One of the first things I know I felt guilty about with mom guilt was not wanting to breast feed. It is hammered down our throats as a mom that if you don’t you are depriving your child of certain things that they never talk about all the reasons why breast feeding may not be right for your family. For me, mentally I just was unable to breastfeed. I did not enjoy it, I felt wrong doing it, and when my son had jaundice and feeding was super important to make it go away it scared me and made me paranoid that he was not drinking enough. That is not to say that it doesn’t work for other people but for me I loved the fact that my spouse was able to feed our children and I was able to sleep a bit, or that I wasn’t hooked up to some sort of pump the entire time or waking every 2 hours trying to make things happen. The guilt I felt this for my first child was tough. It was extremely hard to even get past. I have a friend who breastfeeds her kids and she said flat out fed is best. There is such a stigma about parents who choose to formula feed that it needs to be stopped. It would probably help with things like postpartum depression as well if we never had so many pressures on us parents before the baby has even been born!
As you can see there is multiple things that may seem pretty obvious to others however this is not the case. This is something that maybe by writing these out a new parent may know before the situation arises! And if you are pumped to read this I can’t wait for you to read the other ones when they come out too!
Stacey J. Girard 