Monthly Archives: March 2023

“Vag Badge” Mindset

If there is anything I never expected it was a “Vag Badge” being some sort of prize that birthing parents wanted. I never realized the true extent until I joined a Facebook group where people literally would make unsafe decisions when they were having a baby. As someone who had a birth the vaginal way and c-section way, they are not all as cracked up to be.

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What is a “Vag Badge” you may be wondering, in short it is one of the most toxic subjects in modern pregnancy. Assuming that by not giving birth vaginally you are apparently less of a mother. Some birthing partners who have had c-section will be under the “woo” spell and even try to have a vaginal birth even after they have been told the risks are far more substantial than they ever were just to have this birth. At the end of the day, we are in 2023 where modern medicine has advanced so much that C-sections have become a lifesaving surgery that saves both birth parent and babies lives every single day.

Some of the misconceptions that “woo” people will say is that “Babies come when they are ready”. They don’t. Which is why some people need to be induced. Having this mindset can create such an unsafe environment for not only babies but their parent giving birth also. This is especially familiar with VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean) groups on Facebook where they will encourage all types of births, including home (Which is a whole different issue) and how they should push for having a baby vaginally. The fact is some people have died trying to have a vaginal birth, or even their babies dying in the process too. For years and years this was a reality. Not until we learned different surgery’s, etc that can ensure the safety of birth parents. The whole “Your body knows what to do” is such a crock of shit that the fact is some people do not have a body to give birth for whatever reason. Their bodies also may never go into labour on their own. This doesn’t mean they are a failure or that they are any less of a parent, it just means that thankfully we live in a world that the safety of both babies and parents can be ensured because we have the skilled medical professionals to help that happen.

I even felt like this with my 1st son. It was to the point that I felt like if I were to have a c-section that I was a failure in some sense. Not that I knew many reasons why a c-section was given but I felt like the misconception about it was that if I needed to have one that I was a failure to not have a vaginal birth. Like as a mother I was not able to fully do labour. This is so far from the truth. In fact, with my 2nd birth I choose a c-section. I go more into detail here, but at the end of the day it was more important for the safety of my son than it was for myself to attempt a vaginal birth. Instead of trying to follow groups I instead talked to my doctor. Towards the end of my first pregnancy I was asked if I had any concerns. I said what is the reasons for a c-section, does that mean I am a failure? She looked at me and simply said NO! No one is failure for having a c-section. Some people literally do not have a body to birth a baby and there is nothing that can be done before pregnancy, in labour or anything else that can make it happen. Just that it is needed at times and that’s just the way some births have to happen. Her saying this left me in a huge sense of relief. It made me feel that whenever I went into labour (or not) that sometimes thing are just out of my control and the safety of us was the utmost importance, not the way the baby actually came out.

Is there a common theme that people feel a sense of loss, or they mourn the experience of having a vaginal birth? Yes. It is a very valid feeling. Especially when often times you see that their entire families had vaginal births and they wanted to also have the experience of “pushing” out a baby. Feeling a sense of loss if you never have this experience is totally normal. What isn’t normal is putting yourself at risk of your baby at risk to achieve this. If you are feeling a sense a loss, maybe speaking with a medical professional on how a c-section was a safest mode of delivery or even a licensed therapist who maybe specialized in pregnancy and birth traumas is the way to go here. Because at the end of the day those feelings are valid, it is okay to have them.

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I can say with confidence as well, if someone did not know me, and they were to look at both of my children right now. There is no way you could pick out which was vaginal and which was a c-section. There is no flag or neon lights flashing with an arrow to one that was not a vaginal and the other who was. Just the same as breastfeeding and formula feeding at the end of the day you are not able to show which kids have been fed which way at a playground.

And a much busted myth, vaginal births are NOT always an easier recovery. In fact many people comment who have had both that their c-section whether scheduled or not was a whole lot better recovery than vaginal. There are even people who has such a traumatic vaginal that they never want to do that again and opt for their c-section because the environment is so much more controlled. Whether you birth one way or another, there are risks with both. But there is no guarantee one will be easier to recover from or one will be harder it just seems to happen with whatever the universe has for people.

And as much as you may think, There is no award or a badge for pushing a baby out of a vagina. Period.

Begging for Money? Subs? Does it work?

We all know someone who has begged for subscribers or money or whatever have you in the streaming world. To the viral clips that get a lot of attention of streamers calling out their viewers for not saving 5 dollars to subscribe and financially support their channels. Does it work, Maybe. But I know for sure that the attention these clips get these particular channels is actually insane. To the retweets and comments on them is worth it? Today we talk about if begging for money from your viewers or anyone in general works.

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I also want to state that these are my opinions and some of this may sound blunt and insensitive. I am sorry if that is the case however I will not be changing my opinion on this in order to please the people who may be offended by this.

Let’s begin with the “boo hoo” stories. This is where you hear of someone losing their job, or quitting and having no money for rent and things. I have also seen this in streamers who have the desire to go full time without having the means to. Instead of being financially stable before they take the plunge into streaming full time as a profession, they quit their decently paying job in hopes that their community will now fund them. I have no sympathy for people like this. Why? Because they were unprepared by what they set out to do. If you want to take streaming seriously and if you want to do it full time you sure as hell should make sure that you are able to do it full time before even if that means saving money for months to ensure that your “Giving this a Go” is also having the ability to pay your bills and not rely on a community to do so. What is worse or at least in my opinion (Again) Is when you see a streamer attempting the full time aspect of streaming and suddenly you see them with brand new colored hair, new makeup and manicures, but they continue to complain that their bills aren’t being paid. This doesn’t even make sense and if their community is anything like me, I do not want to support someone ESPECIALLY if they are begging for money for bills and using it on luxuries.

Let’s officially talk about those viral videos for money. We know if you actually use twitter remotely related to your streaming that chances are you are able to see all of the different clips of bigger and popular streamers getting essentially “angry” at their community for not giving them money. They may have a sub goal, they may have bills or something they need money for and they are “upset” that they aren’t being consistently subbed to. Why did I use quotes there? Because, Some of these people I THINK make these clips or comments because they know they will end up on a live stream fails list or viral on twitter and it will pull in more people to their streams. Sure, a lot of trolls will also end up going there. That is for sure true. However there is probably a lot of people who may be also going there to “help out” as well too.

Being direct with how you approach your community and your financial goals could really be how you categories the above with viral clips. You are honest and upfront with goals like “I need x amount of money for x bill by such and such date”. Sometimes communities like the direct approach and how honest a streamer is with them. Other ways streamers have set up goals but are super vague with a mini goal in the background of their streams or incorporated in to their overlays as well. Which can equally be effective if they aren’t talking about it but they do see that it and help out when they can.

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Continuously talking about money on stream is probably one of the biggest no-nos you can do though. When you talk about money on stream all the time whether you are broke or have a lot of it you really aren’t making your viewers feel like they are part of the community. You know xQc? He is one of the biggest streamers in the world who probably makes tens of thousands of dollars a month, Do you ever hear him talk about money on stream? Not really. Because it really isn’t anyone’s business and if he was to do that do you think he would be as successful as he is if he did? If you make your viewers seem like the only thing you are interested in is their money they will not want to stick around. This also goes for showing interest in people who subscribe or donate a lot and as soon as they don’t you don’t show much love to them. When I was back working and kid free I too would donate to a few folks. Sure it was great when it was payday and they were excited to see you getting into harmless bit wars with people, But as soon as that money is gone suddenly it is all changed and you barely get a Hi out of the streamer anymore. It certainly does not make me want to stick around when the only interest the streamer had in me was whether or not I could financially support them.

Lastly, how about we stop making streamers who do talk about their financial goals look like aliens? Talking about goals is healthy and a great way to to fill in your community on your aspirations. Whether it is to buy and upgrade your equipment for streaming or you simply would like to buy a new game or toy for your kids. Letting them know your goals and that financial support is an option. Just make sure that your viewers also know that like financial support there is also ways to support that aren’t financial as well too!

Why You Shouldn’t Hire Sleep Consultant

As you can imagine there is nearly a consultant for anything. Whether it be the gym, lactation, even sleep and financial. There is literally one for every situation imaginable. And if there isn’t one then there will be one soon, give it time!

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A sleep consultant being one of the new fads that parents pay for to essentially help their babies sleep. This can be for various ages and help set a routine or establish good sleep hours so your little one is the least over tired as possible.

Before I even get into the reasons why, let me tell you this if you didn’t know. BABIES DO NOT SLEEP SOMETIMES. Save yourself some money and do a bit of research first. Yes, babies literally eat, sleep, and are awake for a moment but in the big picture they do not normally have a schedule. If they are hungry every 3 hours then suddenly every 2 then again every 5 that is totally normal. If they have some nights that are more rough and harder than others that is completely normal. Even as babies age and they once were a good sleeper then suddenly are not and vice versa there is nothing wrong with that at all.

Personally, I have been lucky in the sense that my two boys have both been pretty good sleepers sleeping through the night pretty early on. We never did anything special for this to happen we just followed cues that they gave and went with that. there was no magic time there was no perfect amount of formula. We just went with the flow and things naturally happened. Is this to say that this happens to all babies? Nope. We have heard friends say that their little ones are not so great sleepers or it takes a lot to get them to fall asleep. Again, This is totally normal and while you see other people with their babies, and everything seems to be fine, the reality is, is that no one really talks about their little ones not being able to sleep well!

One reason why you shouldn’t spend money on a sleep consultant is that the internet is such a plethora of information that you could quite literally spend some time and research different solutions before resorting to someone to pay for these things. Another thing with these is that I know as a parent I have googled different issues that I have had, in doing so I ask the question and have so many answers. Like “Why has my child starting waking more”, “how can I get my baby to sleep longer at night” the exact question is totally fine too. There is even Facebook groups about safe sleep and respectful sleeping habits that you can post the wake windows of your little one and how they sleep with people troubleshooting with you to help tweek their schedule to sleep better. Sometimes the problem is they could be either getting too much or two little sleep. Literally, a simple adjustment and you can have way easier night in no time. No consultant needed!

I know this can be the obvious answer but another reason why you shouldn’t hired a sleep consultant for your kids is simply to save money! These are normally private consultants that cost more than they are worth. Starting at a few hundred per session to thousands for a few months. Money that can be so much better spent. Even saved is better than spending it on this. If you want to spend money on something like this, Might I suggest the Huckleberry app. Subscribe to that and you can do it all on your own. Again No consultant required. When my first was born we too had this app, however we never subscribed we just used the free version. It helped to show the wake windows and when they “should” be going to sleep based on their age. I will say with our second that was basically thrown out the window because he had a super weird schedule and we just went with the flow of things. My first was like clockwork. Sleeping every so often. Bottle exactly 3 hours later. My second was cluster feeding with a bottle and really threw our scheduling out of wack!

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And this may sound like another blunt fact, as I mentioned above, some babies just have rocky sleep. You may pay someone all this money only to find out that it doesn’t even work essentially you have just paid this only to find that it didnt work and something totally not related finally helped your little one to get into their routine. Not to mention there is also some “regressions” that happen when it comes to growth and milestones being reached. I know for me personally I had a hard time with cry it out method that we did at 6m with our first. However when my second was in the crib we really began to hammer down and sleep train. Was it hard to hear them cry. Always. But at the end of the day we knew the benefits outweighed the cons and we made it happen.

And finally, just like any difficult moment when it comes to raising babies and kids, they will pass. Maybe a rough sleep period lasts a few days or even a few weeks or maybe even a few months. If you are consistent and you are following your routine and keeping things the same eventually it will even out. Sometimes just getting past these moments is important and we need reminders that it does not last forever. We will have some sleep again and sometimes it can be as simple as maybe its time to drop a nap, maybe an earlier bedtime, or maybe even a slightly later one if that works too.

There is no reason why we as parents, should be spending money on everything under the sun to try and “fix” things that parents have been dealing with for many many many years, and that too all works out !

Traditional Baby Feeding vs Baby Led Weaning, Which is right for you?

When your little one has gotten to the stage of eating, that opens a whole new set of worries. I know what your thinking, of course there is another worry. That’s basically parenting isn’t it? Spoiler alert YES. Truth be told, especially if this is your first, there will be many many worries and starting solids is one of those worries.

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Lately there has been a new craze and way of feeding babies. This is called Baby Led Weaning. As apposed to the traditional method of introducing food by starting with purees and so on. Personally, my family takes a far more traditional approach. For many reasons including anxiety of starting baby led weaning. Ill talk about that further down.

Traditional feeding is when you start with purees. As baby ages you make things more chunkier, maybe you make it lumpy, and so on until they are eating food regularly. This is the way that I would guess 90% of us born before 2000 have been fed. A lot of times parents, myself included would even make their own purees. It really is simple to do (trust me!) And saves money in the long run as well instead of buying baby foods in the jars all the time. Truth be told, when my first son was born we did in fact get a few jars in case we were on the run instead of bringing cubes which was fine. Except for the fact that it was SO LIQUIDY! It was really hard to even judge how liquid it was and we ended up putting some powdered cereal in it to make it a bit thicker. We never bought jars with our 2nd and instead. Bring a fruit puree pouch, water, and powdered cereal to make a quick meal for them on the run. I go into more detail on homemade baby food vs store bought baby food here if you want to read a bit more details on that too.

Now to baby led weaning. This is where essentially you are feeding your little one the exact same things you are eating but you are trying to put it in specific shapes and sizes for their age for them to “eat” normally. I say “eat” because they really aren’t eating a whole lot, especially when they don’t have teeth. Like peppers can be given if cut length wise. Or grapes which are quartered. Some things like popcorn and nuts aren’t to be given at all though. As they are still choking hazards until far later. Even waffles and pancakes can be given if cut into strips too. This is also by far a way more messier route because of the mushy up of foods in hands and things that baths may be given for more frequently and a mop and broom may need to be used multiple times a day. That is unless you have a dog who loves the extra freebies too! And before I hear “Well babies get messy” Yes they do, But that doesn’t mean they need any extra help doing so! They can do it just fine on their own!

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As I mentioned above, a major reason why we never did this route was because of anxiety. The thought of giving our little one the exact same things we ate but cut into appropriate sizes was so daunting. Especially since our oldest didn’t have teeth till he was nearly 10 months old. And our 2nd  now at 15 months had just 4 top and bottom teeth too. While we understand gagging is normal we just felt nothing was wrong (and it isn’t!) with the traditional way of feeding a baby. While more and more people seem to be doing the baby led weaning route, sticking to this old school method is totally fine. Another thing that a lot of peoepl say in regards to food is that “food before one is just for fun” while that is the case and a lot of nutrients are still coming from formula or breastmilk, it still is very important that as your little one is growing bigger and bigger that they are in fact getting nutrients from actual food as apposed to fluids. You too will find that as they eat more solids and drop bottles that they will more than likely also be sleeping better too because their bellies are becoming fuller and fuller. Don’t discredit that food is still important in their growth and development even if they are still learning how to pick things up and what not.

Another thing I noticed which also may be by chance, is comparing my kids to ones who do baby lead Weaning (I know comparing kids is bad blah blah blah) my own who did traditional have been WAY NEATER eaters without throwing spoonfuls of food on the floor or in their hair or faces. More often than not my oldest will still make sure he has a bib on because he wants to be neat. We always used bibs to make sure we would protect their clothes easier. We never really made them go without shirts to prevent stains. Or we simply used a shirt that was already stain filled to make it easier! I have talked to a friend about this theory and they too took the more traditional route and too have noticed the less messes to clean up also!

Whichever you choose, please research. While baby led weaning is kind of popular now compared to traditional feeding there is absolutely nothing wrong with either way. However baby led weaning requires some researching due to the certain shapes things need to be cut up as so that the choking risk is very minimum. You can’t jut give a baby a grape or blueberry, or an apple or piece of chicken and hope for the best. Even chicken too needs to be shredded to keep a choking risk to a minimum!

How Did I Write My Poetry- Part 1

I say this as two parts because well, it is for sure a lot. If you haven’t seen the abundance of links and photos of my poetry collections in previous posts you are sadly missing out. These were 3 collections with 100 poems in each and they really were a labour of love. Something I wanted to do, put my mind to it, and worked hard at achieving!

You can read more about each book here The Darkness, The Light, The Colorful. I won’t bore you with those details because it was already been written. But if you wish to purchase any of the books via paperback or kindle simply click the names above and it will link you to where to buy them! What I will tell you is how I even did it when I am a stay at home mom to 2 boys. One, 2 years old and the other was about 9 months old. Well, it took a LOT of dedication that is for sure.

One of the first things I am sure people are wondering is, how did I find the time? I found the time when my kids were sleeping in the day time, they normally slept for about 2 hours and I would sometimes set goals for myself to be able to write even 5 poems each day or some days a bit more. That way I had goals on how much to write. Now was there some days I wrote 10 and 15 poems? Yes. And they helped a lot when I was feeling unmotivated and skipped a day or two. I also wrote at night when they both were asleep too. I made sure that I never wrote too much because I had done that a few times and found myself burnt out. I would write and write and write and there was periods of times when I wouldn’t write for a week or so because I needed the mental break.

Now, To dip a bit into why I wrote 3 at once. I know wild right? Well, A brief overview of the books if you haven’t checked their individual posts. The darkness is about depression, suicide, drug abuse, hatred and more. This was a very heavy collection to write because I did have some examples of my personal life in there. Though it may be hard to find which though. The light was also a bit hard to write with subjects like overcoming obstacles, strength, perseverance and more. It still was a lighter feel than the first. And then The Colorful which has subjects like music, winning, children, laughter, and everything in between too. When I was writing the 3 together I could flip through different collections based on my moods. I also could flip to change it. Maybe I wrote a bit too much for a few days in The Darkness and my mind would become very dark, I’d flip to the colorful with the light in between to break it up. This was a lot healthier on my head because as I mentioned, some memories were stirred up while writing them that as freeing and amazing as it felt, I still wanted to not have to worry about keeping it dark for a long time.

Another thing I did when I wrote was I got a huge notebook and wrote poems by hand. There just is something about writing poetry by hand that makes it special. Typing things up online can just feel stiff. You can’t really see the poem unless you REALLY space things properly. And a lot of times you find a better word to change out to do you try to it on a computer I feel like the time to do this is so much more than just scratching it out with a pen or a pencil. I also loved using the notebook because I could sit upstairs and I could write different times. I only recently got this laptop I am typing this up on and my bigger personal computer is downstairs. Which sometimes in the middle of the day or even evenings I really have no desire to even want to go downstairs to sit there and type.

Now, how did I keep track of what I wrote? I had the chapters thought out ahead of time. I wrote them out on the first page of the notebook. As I wrote poems and flipped through I would tick off a check beside the chapters as I wrote them. I did this so that I wasn’t always writing in one chapter and had a good range. The goal was to have about 10 poems for each chapter minimum. That was one of the little goals I had. Obviously though as you write and have more inspiration you kind of write how you feel at the time. By doing this there are some chapters with more than others but that is okay though. This was also to help keep track of how many I had written. For some reason I thought I wanted 100 poems for each collection. I liked the number and thought it was good to start.

Was there times I questioned myself? Yup. There was a lot of times when I barely talked about my writing and wanted to quit because I felt like why bother, no one is even going to read them. But I never gave up. I kept going because I wanted these and many more ideas I have to be part of a bigger plan to provide financially for my family while I am still a stay at home mom. It was something that I did when I was a teenager and struggling with friends or even fitting in. I wrote about how I felt and it made me feel better even if they were really dark poems too. It took a lot to finally write some of them down to paper but honestly it was amazing and I couldn’t be happier with the outcome. And after all, The hardest part (So I thought) was to actually write them. WRONG. There was SOO MUCH MORE TO DO that I didn’t even know where to begin, thankfully my moms friend had some help with my questions.

How to Quit Smoking or Vaping

If you are a smoker you know just how hard it is to drop the habit. Regardless if the country you live keeps putting the price of cigarettes up you still keep paying because, wait for it, reality check, you’re addicted. No one wants to admit that. The same goes for vaping. And to be honest, I think I was more addicted to vaping than I was to the cigarettes. I vaped in the house, the car, everywhere I was for so long. And smoking I only did it until the prices were a lot.

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I will say though, For me, I did quit smoking weed (Though I did quit vaping with my first pregnancy just as easily) which I talk about here. Now I’m not saying “oh you want to quit smoking and vaping just get pregnant, simple.” Because obviously if you are not wanting a baby that is a whole other issue that you will have to deal with! But these are tried and true methods that I have seen from family and friends to do in order to quit both of these once and for all.

What you don’t want to do is swap cigarettes for vapes. That is by no means a solution and if anything you are still creating a new and potentially damaging habit that just is swapping one for another. Because eventually you too will have to quit vaping and what are you going to do then? Find another thing to swap for that suits your need. No. If you want to quit either just don’t swap them for one another. That is what I did and I swear I vaped more than I ever smoked because it was so convenient. This was obviously pre-kids because once I had kids I stopped smoking all together, well nicotine that is since I do still smoke weed. Which I talk about in this blog post here.

One major option that does take a lot of willpower is quitting “cold turkey”. You know, just stop. Just never buy another pack, never get more vape juice, just quit. Are the first few days going to suck? Yep. Are you going to want to give in and buy another because it may seem tough? you bet. Don’t. If you have made the conscious decision to just quit and not look back. Do it. Don’t give in and use all your willpower. If you have to make a list why you wanted to do this than also reference this.

As mentioned, you don’t want to swap out smoking with vaping. However one thing I have seen people to is swap smoking for something like gum or Tik-Tacs. not the nicotine gum. I mean just something to have in their mouth in place of a cigarette. A lot of times we get addicted to the habit. For me it was the vape replaces the process of me bringing the cigarette towards my mouth. Having these little things on hand can be huge. That way you are still doing the motion. One thing that I have seen a friend of my parents do that used to smoke is drink water. Anytime they wanted to smoke they would take a drink of water. Sure they were probably going to the bathroom a whole lot more but that was something that they really thought helped. And just like anything, it does take a while to develop a habit so you have to keep reminding yourself to actually take that drink or put the Tik-Tac in your mouth too!

Another swap you do not want to do is food. People say will often say “if I smoke I stay skinny”, Sure. Because nicotine is low key an appetite suppressant. But that may be because the people who are quitting haven’t developed a habit that is safe and or not eating, to fill the void. Maybe you read or maybe you do crafts. For me I quit easily because I was pregnant. Something clicked and I was done. But I still felt like I wanted to vape and I still felt like if I wasn’t I should be eating. Maybe that is why I felt like eating a lot with my oldest. That being said I also developed a habit of starting to sew and craft more. That way I was doing things with my hands and I wasn’t left just trying to bring the food to my mouth when I would be puffing.

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Another great reinforcement that is positive is there is plenty of apps out there now that you can use to track how many days or even hours that you have without nicotine and smokes. These can be helpful because when you stop smoking your body is beginning to repair itself. This is such a cool thing to see because obviously we don’t know what is happening inside of our bodies but it is refreshing to see that even if we are smokers for years there is damage that can slowly repair itself. the human body is wonderful and even if its been years and years of smoking there is no reason not to make the decision to quit.

I think though it should be said, whether you try hypno-therapy, or acupuncture, or whatever treatments, if you don’t really deep down want to quit smoking then chances are you won’t. You can’t really do this for other people and you can;+’t really just go at this half-assed so to speak. You have to want to quit smoking for yourself first. Whether that reason is to save money, for your health, for the simple fact that you are bored of it. You have to be the one making this decision and you are the one who has to be quitting. You can’t quit for anyone and hope it sticks. And sometimes you may have a minor relapse. It happens. But don’t beat yourself up. Refocus your mindset and why you quit to begin with and restart. Just because you quit once and came back doesn’t mean you are a failure. It just means that there is one more little hiccup to overcome!

Setting Boundaries as a Streamer

Setting boundaries as a streamer are extremely important. Let’s face it, There are some pretty screwed up people in the world and having a stalker is an all too real thing out there. How much you share with your community is ultimately your choice. However you don’t want to say too much. Remember, It is a lot easier to not over share then it is to over share and regret saying too much. I will also tell you how much I share with my chat and why I don’t share certain things with them also. There really is no right way or wrong way with how much you want to share with your  viewers it all goes on personal preference. I know I have watched streamers share a whole lot and others not even share their real name!

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I swear you would be surprised how many people do this. For myself I do not mind sharing a VERY rough location. ie: I live outside of Halifax. This is a huge city and if someone wants to find out where they will have a very hard time trying to find out where exactly I am. You would be surprised and a bit unsettled when you see and hear of streamers getting swatted (Police called to their residence) or having followers/viewers randomly show up at their homes. This is a complete invasion of privacy and can be extremely alarming as well too. Our homes are our space and there is a reason why we need to be careful for this. I would also suggest that this includes where your camera (If you use one) is facing. If you say live near a very easily figured out location, and your webcam is facing a window people can find out where you are located simply in a few clicks or searches. I don’t have anything by the homes that I lived in that would really show where I live but I know just as I have done if there is a window behind me chances are there is curtains that are always closed. Not that I really think about this when doing streams and where my cam faces just that I always had my curtains closed even in other rooms of the house.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

Last name
This one can be tricky. For me personally, I don’t advertise my last name however I believe if you tip I do think it shows up and I’m okay with that. Chances are if you are tipping a streamer most times people are supporting the person and aren’t going to spill their name to people. That being said this can also be pointless if you are say a pro e-sports player because more often than not your name is already out there when you compete for your team too. If you have a lot of trolls then you might not want to share this also too. However remember if you are making a username or email and you use any part of your name that can kind of defeat the purpose. I know a few folks on twitter who have their full names there which can be a bummer. Especially if they want to keep that side of their real lives personal.

Any type of personal information can be used to trace where you are. Therefore it is extreme important especially as you grow to manage what you say to your community. It can easily slip out and once it’s out there it can be extremely hard to get it back. If you have a few viewers it can be easy to forget and as you grow that not all viewers can be kind. Or if you have the same bunch of folks in your channel regularly you can easily grow close to them that when new people come in to chat it can be hard to adjust what you have said or shared.

It is also important to know, the more personal you are with your chat the easier connections will be. Chats love when a streamer makes them feel like a friend even if they are not that friendly. Making a streamer seem real with real issues and stories is a lot better then a streamer who is a wall and has no connections with them. For me, as a viewer I will watch streamers who connect more on a personal level then ones who don’t. Why? Because if I wasn’t looking for a personal level connection I would simply watch youtube videos. I like the real time interaction of Twitch and a streamer who is personal even without spilling all of their personal information. It also seems that (From what I can see) The more personal a streamer is the better success they have. If someone is all robotic, shares very little, starts stream and just playing games, a person cannot connect it will be hard to bring new people in for sure.

For me. I would like to think that as a streamer I am a personal one. There are things I never mention though have slipped up before. My Bf for example does not want me to say his name on stream. We refer to him as “Space” Mind you there have been times that I have slipped up and said his name but that is not a HUGE deal though. There are also times when I tell stories about my family or friends and most times especially when referring to my brother and sister I don’t say their names either. My camera is pointed at a wall and not a window so that folks cannot see anything outside of my house. Not that I live near any landmarks but it is better safe than sorry in these types of situations. I want to be open and honest with my stream because I treat them as I would my friends. Even if we are a streamer/viewer relationship I want them to feel like it is a safe space. If I wanted it to be a production and totally planned out then I would have a green screen, keep chatter to a minimum and not connect at all.

Be safe out there and remember, setting high boundaries in the beginning is okay, because when you set them low and want them higher, It may be a lot harder to reign them back in if you want to change them!

It’s a New month with BIG news! – March Update 2023

Another month of trying to be active here and this is what’s happening! Prep yourselves, this may end up being a long one!

Photo by Bich Tran on

FINALLY I am feeling a bit better pregnancy wise. The nausea and sickness seems to be slowing down. I say that as I threw up yesterday after coming back from the store. I don’t know what it was but something did not agree with me that is for sure. I knew when I ran in and got a few things that I was probably going to be sick. I’m just super thankful that it never happened in the car! Especially since I was gagging the entire drive home which was NOT a good sign and literally made me nervous about having to clean up a bigger mess!

Also, we found out that we are having our third and final BOY! I will say though, I don’t really feel any gender disappointment. I talk more about that here in a blog post. We always wanted 3 kids so that’s why we are having them. It was never about chasing a certain gender. We wanted to have 3 and for some reason I always envisioned us having 3 boys. That being said if this one was a girl then that would have been a pleasant surprise too. We just never honestly had a desire to have another kid to see if we could have another gender. I think when you have another one in hopes of an opposite gender that in itself is where a lot of gender disappointment comes from. Especially if you aren’t exactly ready to bring another child into the world and you soul goal is to achieve the “perfect” look of a family. None the less we are so thrilled to finally be finishing this chapter of our lives and moving onto the raising of these strong willed boys to be respectable young men! All while hopefully maintaining some of our sanity along the way too!

I have been trying to craft up a storm. Keeping busy and sewing has been a saving grace for me. I really want to make it work for me in terms of crafting and growth and even trying to build enough stock to approach local businesses to see if they will put my creations in their stores. I feel like the first year or two is the hardest starting off especially since I’d love to so markets one day because I am only one person sewing and creating. So for me I feel like just doing basic holidays and doing seasons is a lot as I sprinkle more creative things in the mix as well! I love creating though. I also hope in the near future to be able to have a bunch of patterns on Etsy since they never expire and it could be another stream of revenue as well, Though creating the patterns is where I need to start. Id like to have maybe 25 up there before the baby is born which is totally doable once I sit down and plan it out!

Poetry I need to keep stepping up though. That is challenging and hard sometimes though. However I need to do better and promote because no one else is going to do that for me. I also want to create more collections but as normal that is half the battle I may start to write some goals monthly on what to do and try to get things going in that regard. I do have a few goals for the year but with life it’s just going through motions a bit too!!

Overall though, things are going well. I will say more often than not I am really thinking about weight loss. I am excited to get back to focusing on health and becoming a better version of myself. I feel like I have a lot of motivation to do this with 3 growing boys and a desire to be able to play with them for as long as possible and not have to worry about catching my breath. I have already thought about ways I would like to do this but I will be hopefully writing more in a blog as the time approaches. Right now I’m just focusing on being healthy and trying to not over eat. Habits like writing or sewing I am hoping will get me through cravings and times when I am bored and want to munch or over eat. That is as I’ve mentioned many times, a major reason why I find it hard to lose weight. Another thing that I need to do more of is that I need to drink more water. Something I hope I can keep going after pregnancy! I also think I am going to do my best to also stop adding sugar to things like my coffee. I also hope to have a brand new calorie counting/ mental health journal ready to go for after the baby is born so that I can have things ready for when I’m ready. I wont be going gun-ho in here. I want to start slow with maybe 4 days a week and increase as time goes. I don’t want to get discouraged because I went too hard too fast.

I am so hopeful for March to be a great month ahead that I am so looking forward to planning the final months before this final little fella makes his way into the world. It seems wild for us to believe that we are nearly half way through the final pregnancy. While it is bitter sweet I am so very happy to never have a pregnancy again. And after this no more morning sickness too!! I feel like a chapter is closing and while another is opening, It is simply wild to think that the next part of our lives is just raising out boys to be the best they can be with great morals!