Category Archives: Life

Why You Shouldn’t Hire Sleep Consultant

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As you can imagine there is nearly a consultant for anything. Whether it be the gym, lactation, even sleep and financial. There is literally one for every situation imaginable. And if there isn’t one then there will be one soon, give it time!

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A sleep consultant being one of the new fads that parents pay for to essentially help their babies sleep. This can be for various ages and help set a routine or establish good sleep hours so your little one is the least over tired as possible.

Before I even get into the reasons why, let me tell you this if you didn’t know. BABIES DO NOT SLEEP SOMETIMES. Save yourself some money and do a bit of research first. Yes, babies literally eat, sleep, and are awake for a moment but in the big picture they do not normally have a schedule. If they are hungry every 3 hours then suddenly every 2 then again every 5 that is totally normal. If they have some nights that are more rough and harder than others that is completely normal. Even as babies age and they once were a good sleeper then suddenly are not and vice versa there is nothing wrong with that at all.

Personally, I have been lucky in the sense that my two boys have both been pretty good sleepers sleeping through the night pretty early on. We never did anything special for this to happen we just followed cues that they gave and went with that. there was no magic time there was no perfect amount of formula. We just went with the flow and things naturally happened. Is this to say that this happens to all babies? Nope. We have heard friends say that their little ones are not so great sleepers or it takes a lot to get them to fall asleep. Again, This is totally normal and while you see other people with their babies, and everything seems to be fine, the reality is, is that no one really talks about their little ones not being able to sleep well!

One reason why you shouldn’t spend money on a sleep consultant is that the internet is such a plethora of information that you could quite literally spend some time and research different solutions before resorting to someone to pay for these things. Another thing with these is that I know as a parent I have googled different issues that I have had, in doing so I ask the question and have so many answers. Like “Why has my child starting waking more”, “how can I get my baby to sleep longer at night” the exact question is totally fine too. There is even Facebook groups about safe sleep and respectful sleeping habits that you can post the wake windows of your little one and how they sleep with people troubleshooting with you to help tweek their schedule to sleep better. Sometimes the problem is they could be either getting too much or two little sleep. Literally, a simple adjustment and you can have way easier night in no time. No consultant needed!

I know this can be the obvious answer but another reason why you shouldn’t hired a sleep consultant for your kids is simply to save money! These are normally private consultants that cost more than they are worth. Starting at a few hundred per session to thousands for a few months. Money that can be so much better spent. Even saved is better than spending it on this. If you want to spend money on something like this, Might I suggest the Huckleberry app. Subscribe to that and you can do it all on your own. Again No consultant required. When my first was born we too had this app, however we never subscribed we just used the free version. It helped to show the wake windows and when they “should” be going to sleep based on their age. I will say with our second that was basically thrown out the window because he had a super weird schedule and we just went with the flow of things. My first was like clockwork. Sleeping every so often. Bottle exactly 3 hours later. My second was cluster feeding with a bottle and really threw our scheduling out of wack!

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And this may sound like another blunt fact, as I mentioned above, some babies just have rocky sleep. You may pay someone all this money only to find out that it doesn’t even work essentially you have just paid this only to find that it didnt work and something totally not related finally helped your little one to get into their routine. Not to mention there is also some “regressions” that happen when it comes to growth and milestones being reached. I know for me personally I had a hard time with cry it out method that we did at 6m with our first. However when my second was in the crib we really began to hammer down and sleep train. Was it hard to hear them cry. Always. But at the end of the day we knew the benefits outweighed the cons and we made it happen.

And finally, just like any difficult moment when it comes to raising babies and kids, they will pass. Maybe a rough sleep period lasts a few days or even a few weeks or maybe even a few months. If you are consistent and you are following your routine and keeping things the same eventually it will even out. Sometimes just getting past these moments is important and we need reminders that it does not last forever. We will have some sleep again and sometimes it can be as simple as maybe its time to drop a nap, maybe an earlier bedtime, or maybe even a slightly later one if that works too.

There is no reason why we as parents, should be spending money on everything under the sun to try and “fix” things that parents have been dealing with for many many many years, and that too all works out !

Traditional Baby Feeding vs Baby Led Weaning, Which is right for you?

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When your little one has gotten to the stage of eating, that opens a whole new set of worries. I know what your thinking, of course there is another worry. That’s basically parenting isn’t it? Spoiler alert YES. Truth be told, especially if this is your first, there will be many many worries and starting solids is one of those worries.

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Lately there has been a new craze and way of feeding babies. This is called Baby Led Weaning. As apposed to the traditional method of introducing food by starting with purees and so on. Personally, my family takes a far more traditional approach. For many reasons including anxiety of starting baby led weaning. Ill talk about that further down.

Traditional feeding is when you start with purees. As baby ages you make things more chunkier, maybe you make it lumpy, and so on until they are eating food regularly. This is the way that I would guess 90% of us born before 2000 have been fed. A lot of times parents, myself included would even make their own purees. It really is simple to do (trust me!) And saves money in the long run as well instead of buying baby foods in the jars all the time. Truth be told, when my first son was born we did in fact get a few jars in case we were on the run instead of bringing cubes which was fine. Except for the fact that it was SO LIQUIDY! It was really hard to even judge how liquid it was and we ended up putting some powdered cereal in it to make it a bit thicker. We never bought jars with our 2nd and instead. Bring a fruit puree pouch, water, and powdered cereal to make a quick meal for them on the run. I go into more detail on homemade baby food vs store bought baby food here if you want to read a bit more details on that too.

Now to baby led weaning. This is where essentially you are feeding your little one the exact same things you are eating but you are trying to put it in specific shapes and sizes for their age for them to “eat” normally. I say “eat” because they really aren’t eating a whole lot, especially when they don’t have teeth. Like peppers can be given if cut length wise. Or grapes which are quartered. Some things like popcorn and nuts aren’t to be given at all though. As they are still choking hazards until far later. Even waffles and pancakes can be given if cut into strips too. This is also by far a way more messier route because of the mushy up of foods in hands and things that baths may be given for more frequently and a mop and broom may need to be used multiple times a day. That is unless you have a dog who loves the extra freebies too! And before I hear “Well babies get messy” Yes they do, But that doesn’t mean they need any extra help doing so! They can do it just fine on their own!

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As I mentioned above, a major reason why we never did this route was because of anxiety. The thought of giving our little one the exact same things we ate but cut into appropriate sizes was so daunting. Especially since our oldest didn’t have teeth till he was nearly 10 months old. And our 2nd  now at 15 months had just 4 top and bottom teeth too. While we understand gagging is normal we just felt nothing was wrong (and it isn’t!) with the traditional way of feeding a baby. While more and more people seem to be doing the baby led weaning route, sticking to this old school method is totally fine. Another thing that a lot of peoepl say in regards to food is that “food before one is just for fun” while that is the case and a lot of nutrients are still coming from formula or breastmilk, it still is very important that as your little one is growing bigger and bigger that they are in fact getting nutrients from actual food as apposed to fluids. You too will find that as they eat more solids and drop bottles that they will more than likely also be sleeping better too because their bellies are becoming fuller and fuller. Don’t discredit that food is still important in their growth and development even if they are still learning how to pick things up and what not.

Another thing I noticed which also may be by chance, is comparing my kids to ones who do baby lead Weaning (I know comparing kids is bad blah blah blah) my own who did traditional have been WAY NEATER eaters without throwing spoonfuls of food on the floor or in their hair or faces. More often than not my oldest will still make sure he has a bib on because he wants to be neat. We always used bibs to make sure we would protect their clothes easier. We never really made them go without shirts to prevent stains. Or we simply used a shirt that was already stain filled to make it easier! I have talked to a friend about this theory and they too took the more traditional route and too have noticed the less messes to clean up also!

Whichever you choose, please research. While baby led weaning is kind of popular now compared to traditional feeding there is absolutely nothing wrong with either way. However baby led weaning requires some researching due to the certain shapes things need to be cut up as so that the choking risk is very minimum. You can’t jut give a baby a grape or blueberry, or an apple or piece of chicken and hope for the best. Even chicken too needs to be shredded to keep a choking risk to a minimum!

How Did I Write My Poetry- Part 1

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I say this as two parts because well, it is for sure a lot. If you haven’t seen the abundance of links and photos of my poetry collections in previous posts you are sadly missing out. These were 3 collections with 100 poems in each and they really were a labour of love. Something I wanted to do, put my mind to it, and worked hard at achieving!

You can read more about each book here The Darkness, The Light, The Colorful. I won’t bore you with those details because it was already been written. But if you wish to purchase any of the books via paperback or kindle simply click the names above and it will link you to where to buy them! What I will tell you is how I even did it when I am a stay at home mom to 2 boys. One, 2 years old and the other was about 9 months old. Well, it took a LOT of dedication that is for sure.

One of the first things I am sure people are wondering is, how did I find the time? I found the time when my kids were sleeping in the day time, they normally slept for about 2 hours and I would sometimes set goals for myself to be able to write even 5 poems each day or some days a bit more. That way I had goals on how much to write. Now was there some days I wrote 10 and 15 poems? Yes. And they helped a lot when I was feeling unmotivated and skipped a day or two. I also wrote at night when they both were asleep too. I made sure that I never wrote too much because I had done that a few times and found myself burnt out. I would write and write and write and there was periods of times when I wouldn’t write for a week or so because I needed the mental break.

Now, To dip a bit into why I wrote 3 at once. I know wild right? Well, A brief overview of the books if you haven’t checked their individual posts. The darkness is about depression, suicide, drug abuse, hatred and more. This was a very heavy collection to write because I did have some examples of my personal life in there. Though it may be hard to find which though. The light was also a bit hard to write with subjects like overcoming obstacles, strength, perseverance and more. It still was a lighter feel than the first. And then The Colorful which has subjects like music, winning, children, laughter, and everything in between too. When I was writing the 3 together I could flip through different collections based on my moods. I also could flip to change it. Maybe I wrote a bit too much for a few days in The Darkness and my mind would become very dark, I’d flip to the colorful with the light in between to break it up. This was a lot healthier on my head because as I mentioned, some memories were stirred up while writing them that as freeing and amazing as it felt, I still wanted to not have to worry about keeping it dark for a long time.

Another thing I did when I wrote was I got a huge notebook and wrote poems by hand. There just is something about writing poetry by hand that makes it special. Typing things up online can just feel stiff. You can’t really see the poem unless you REALLY space things properly. And a lot of times you find a better word to change out to do you try to it on a computer I feel like the time to do this is so much more than just scratching it out with a pen or a pencil. I also loved using the notebook because I could sit upstairs and I could write different times. I only recently got this laptop I am typing this up on and my bigger personal computer is downstairs. Which sometimes in the middle of the day or even evenings I really have no desire to even want to go downstairs to sit there and type.

Now, how did I keep track of what I wrote? I had the chapters thought out ahead of time. I wrote them out on the first page of the notebook. As I wrote poems and flipped through I would tick off a check beside the chapters as I wrote them. I did this so that I wasn’t always writing in one chapter and had a good range. The goal was to have about 10 poems for each chapter minimum. That was one of the little goals I had. Obviously though as you write and have more inspiration you kind of write how you feel at the time. By doing this there are some chapters with more than others but that is okay though. This was also to help keep track of how many I had written. For some reason I thought I wanted 100 poems for each collection. I liked the number and thought it was good to start.

Was there times I questioned myself? Yup. There was a lot of times when I barely talked about my writing and wanted to quit because I felt like why bother, no one is even going to read them. But I never gave up. I kept going because I wanted these and many more ideas I have to be part of a bigger plan to provide financially for my family while I am still a stay at home mom. It was something that I did when I was a teenager and struggling with friends or even fitting in. I wrote about how I felt and it made me feel better even if they were really dark poems too. It took a lot to finally write some of them down to paper but honestly it was amazing and I couldn’t be happier with the outcome. And after all, The hardest part (So I thought) was to actually write them. WRONG. There was SOO MUCH MORE TO DO that I didn’t even know where to begin, thankfully my moms friend had some help with my questions.

How to Quit Smoking or Vaping

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If you are a smoker you know just how hard it is to drop the habit. Regardless if the country you live keeps putting the price of cigarettes up you still keep paying because, wait for it, reality check, you’re addicted. No one wants to admit that. The same goes for vaping. And to be honest, I think I was more addicted to vaping than I was to the cigarettes. I vaped in the house, the car, everywhere I was for so long. And smoking I only did it until the prices were a lot.

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I will say though, For me, I did quit smoking weed (Though I did quit vaping with my first pregnancy just as easily) which I talk about here. Now I’m not saying “oh you want to quit smoking and vaping just get pregnant, simple.” Because obviously if you are not wanting a baby that is a whole other issue that you will have to deal with! But these are tried and true methods that I have seen from family and friends to do in order to quit both of these once and for all.

What you don’t want to do is swap cigarettes for vapes. That is by no means a solution and if anything you are still creating a new and potentially damaging habit that just is swapping one for another. Because eventually you too will have to quit vaping and what are you going to do then? Find another thing to swap for that suits your need. No. If you want to quit either just don’t swap them for one another. That is what I did and I swear I vaped more than I ever smoked because it was so convenient. This was obviously pre-kids because once I had kids I stopped smoking all together, well nicotine that is since I do still smoke weed. Which I talk about in this blog post here.

One major option that does take a lot of willpower is quitting “cold turkey”. You know, just stop. Just never buy another pack, never get more vape juice, just quit. Are the first few days going to suck? Yep. Are you going to want to give in and buy another because it may seem tough? you bet. Don’t. If you have made the conscious decision to just quit and not look back. Do it. Don’t give in and use all your willpower. If you have to make a list why you wanted to do this than also reference this.

As mentioned, you don’t want to swap out smoking with vaping. However one thing I have seen people to is swap smoking for something like gum or Tik-Tacs. not the nicotine gum. I mean just something to have in their mouth in place of a cigarette. A lot of times we get addicted to the habit. For me it was the vape replaces the process of me bringing the cigarette towards my mouth. Having these little things on hand can be huge. That way you are still doing the motion. One thing that I have seen a friend of my parents do that used to smoke is drink water. Anytime they wanted to smoke they would take a drink of water. Sure they were probably going to the bathroom a whole lot more but that was something that they really thought helped. And just like anything, it does take a while to develop a habit so you have to keep reminding yourself to actually take that drink or put the Tik-Tac in your mouth too!

Another swap you do not want to do is food. People say will often say “if I smoke I stay skinny”, Sure. Because nicotine is low key an appetite suppressant. But that may be because the people who are quitting haven’t developed a habit that is safe and or not eating, to fill the void. Maybe you read or maybe you do crafts. For me I quit easily because I was pregnant. Something clicked and I was done. But I still felt like I wanted to vape and I still felt like if I wasn’t I should be eating. Maybe that is why I felt like eating a lot with my oldest. That being said I also developed a habit of starting to sew and craft more. That way I was doing things with my hands and I wasn’t left just trying to bring the food to my mouth when I would be puffing.

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Another great reinforcement that is positive is there is plenty of apps out there now that you can use to track how many days or even hours that you have without nicotine and smokes. These can be helpful because when you stop smoking your body is beginning to repair itself. This is such a cool thing to see because obviously we don’t know what is happening inside of our bodies but it is refreshing to see that even if we are smokers for years there is damage that can slowly repair itself. the human body is wonderful and even if its been years and years of smoking there is no reason not to make the decision to quit.

I think though it should be said, whether you try hypno-therapy, or acupuncture, or whatever treatments, if you don’t really deep down want to quit smoking then chances are you won’t. You can’t really do this for other people and you can;+’t really just go at this half-assed so to speak. You have to want to quit smoking for yourself first. Whether that reason is to save money, for your health, for the simple fact that you are bored of it. You have to be the one making this decision and you are the one who has to be quitting. You can’t quit for anyone and hope it sticks. And sometimes you may have a minor relapse. It happens. But don’t beat yourself up. Refocus your mindset and why you quit to begin with and restart. Just because you quit once and came back doesn’t mean you are a failure. It just means that there is one more little hiccup to overcome!

It’s a New month with BIG news! – March Update 2023

Monthly Updates

Another month of trying to be active here and this is what’s happening! Prep yourselves, this may end up being a long one!

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FINALLY I am feeling a bit better pregnancy wise. The nausea and sickness seems to be slowing down. I say that as I threw up yesterday after coming back from the store. I don’t know what it was but something did not agree with me that is for sure. I knew when I ran in and got a few things that I was probably going to be sick. I’m just super thankful that it never happened in the car! Especially since I was gagging the entire drive home which was NOT a good sign and literally made me nervous about having to clean up a bigger mess!


Also, we found out that we are having our third and final BOY! I will say though, I don’t really feel any gender disappointment. I talk more about that here in a blog post. We always wanted 3 kids so that’s why we are having them. It was never about chasing a certain gender. We wanted to have 3 and for some reason I always envisioned us having 3 boys. That being said if this one was a girl then that would have been a pleasant surprise too. We just never honestly had a desire to have another kid to see if we could have another gender. I think when you have another one in hopes of an opposite gender that in itself is where a lot of gender disappointment comes from. Especially if you aren’t exactly ready to bring another child into the world and you soul goal is to achieve the “perfect” look of a family. None the less we are so thrilled to finally be finishing this chapter of our lives and moving onto the raising of these strong willed boys to be respectable young men! All while hopefully maintaining some of our sanity along the way too!

I have been trying to craft up a storm. Keeping busy and sewing has been a saving grace for me. I really want to make it work for me in terms of crafting and growth and even trying to build enough stock to approach local businesses to see if they will put my creations in their stores. I feel like the first year or two is the hardest starting off especially since I’d love to so markets one day because I am only one person sewing and creating. So for me I feel like just doing basic holidays and doing seasons is a lot as I sprinkle more creative things in the mix as well! I love creating though. I also hope in the near future to be able to have a bunch of patterns on Etsy since they never expire and it could be another stream of revenue as well, Though creating the patterns is where I need to start. Id like to have maybe 25 up there before the baby is born which is totally doable once I sit down and plan it out!

Poetry I need to keep stepping up though. That is challenging and hard sometimes though. However I need to do better and promote because no one else is going to do that for me. I also want to create more collections but as normal that is half the battle I may start to write some goals monthly on what to do and try to get things going in that regard. I do have a few goals for the year but with life it’s just going through motions a bit too!!

Overall though, things are going well. I will say more often than not I am really thinking about weight loss. I am excited to get back to focusing on health and becoming a better version of myself. I feel like I have a lot of motivation to do this with 3 growing boys and a desire to be able to play with them for as long as possible and not have to worry about catching my breath. I have already thought about ways I would like to do this but I will be hopefully writing more in a blog as the time approaches. Right now I’m just focusing on being healthy and trying to not over eat. Habits like writing or sewing I am hoping will get me through cravings and times when I am bored and want to munch or over eat. That is as I’ve mentioned many times, a major reason why I find it hard to lose weight. Another thing that I need to do more of is that I need to drink more water. Something I hope I can keep going after pregnancy! I also think I am going to do my best to also stop adding sugar to things like my coffee. I also hope to have a brand new calorie counting/ mental health journal ready to go for after the baby is born so that I can have things ready for when I’m ready. I wont be going gun-ho in here. I want to start slow with maybe 4 days a week and increase as time goes. I don’t want to get discouraged because I went too hard too fast.

I am so hopeful for March to be a great month ahead that I am so looking forward to planning the final months before this final little fella makes his way into the world. It seems wild for us to believe that we are nearly half way through the final pregnancy. While it is bitter sweet I am so very happy to never have a pregnancy again. And after this no more morning sickness too!! I feel like a chapter is closing and while another is opening, It is simply wild to think that the next part of our lives is just raising out boys to be the best they can be with great morals!

Vasectomy gifts? What is the hype about anyways?

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I like to consider myself a pretty “hip” person. I know most of the latest trends and I seem to be up on the lingo so to speak. Though there are a few things that I think are relatively outrageous and borderline insane. Things that I had no idea existed until I had seen them on a TV show and was shocked that people actually did this. Mind you most of the people doing this have more money that your average person and obviously an itch to spend it but still.

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The first thing I heard of like this was known as a “Baby Moon”. This is when a couple will have a weekend away or a vacation away as one last “HOORAY” before the kid comes. I know kind of wild to be spending all this money though before you will spend even more money when you birth a child. I guess there are different types of vacations that you can do though. Maybe you go somewhere local or have a weekend in the house ordering your own food. I guess the “Baby Moon” Is really up for interpretation and it really depends on what you want to get out of it. Then it also raises the question. Is this something that only happens when you have one baby or do you do this after multiple kids? If so do you leave the kids home with friends or family or bring them with you because that doesn’t sound relaxing or romantic at all either!

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Next up is the also popular “Push Presents”. Which could not be more catered to the pressures of having a vaginal birth of a child than you would think. This implies that the spouse gets the birthing parent a gift for you know, pushing a baby out of their vagina. So does this also happen for a c-section birth too or is the name just supposed to be targeted towards one type of way to birth a child. This is yet another thing that I would assume people with money would be doing. Why is it that having a healthy, breathing baby is not good enough that people want to have some sort of reward to you know .. “Push”

And finally, this is the real doozy. Apparently people are giving their male counterparts gifts for getting snipped. Which doesn’t really seem to make any sort of sense. From a medical standpoint having the male spouse get “snipped” for lack of a better term, is the easiest way. Maybe unless the female was getting their tubes tied during a c-section if they had to go that route. However medically the male is sore for a few days and bang, done. They used that bag of frozen pees that you had in the freezer far too long to help soothe down there and finished. Where as you have the female which needs to be cut open for however many reasons and are dealing with essentially a surgery to prevent further pregnancy’s.

What do you even give in this situation? Do you give something funny or comforting? Do you give your spouse like a thank you card you know, for taking one for the team? Do you give them something sexy because well now you can hopefully have the fun times without worrying about another bundle of joy surprising you in the process. The whole idea just seems to be a huge waste of not only time but also money too. It’s like people have this much extra cash laying around that they need to spend it (Which if that is the case you are more than welcome to spend it on one of my poetry books which you can find here). I can’t ever seeing myself doing this.

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Then the other question, If your spouse got you the push present, are you obligated to do the vasectomy gift? Or are you only getting one if you gave the push present? Then it also raises another question, Does someone get a push present AND a hysterectomy one also if they are they ones that are going to be getting the sniped or tied stuff around? If anything this is raising far more questions that it is answering them because I find it really hard to even sort my feelings.

I guess the bottom line is these types of things are what is wrong with the world. We need to stop spending money on useless crap and things that literally mean absolutely nothing. Not everything in life needs to have some sort of a reward. It doesn’t need to be something specially like this. How about if you get snipped you want to because your spouse maybe had to endure a lot of things in terms of giving birth and this was a good thing to do. Maybe instead of spending money on some baby moon you want to save it or put it away to start a small interest savings fund for your child. Or instead of a push present maybe start a new tradition with your child. Or even getting a few things that you had growing up that meant a lot.

And as I am sure you are wondering. Did we do a baby moon before my oldest son was born? Sure, If you call going to Boston Pizza REALLY pregnant for a meal counts. We never really had one with our second and we probably won’t with our third. Was there any push presents? No. I didn’t think that I needed to be rewarded for becoming a mom since that was the whole purpose of having children you obviously know what the outcome will be in terms of birth. And then for a vasectomy gift? No. There also will not be any. Maybe some extra sweets or maybe take out to not have to cook. But there will be no gift, and for the record, my husband volunteered for that because after all, I was doing all the hard work before!

A Sunday Night Routine For a Great Start to the Week

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If there is one thing I am guilty of, it is not putting myself ahead for the week. To the point that when Wednesday comes around I feel horrible about not accomplishing a single thing that I had HOPED to have had done. Partly because I never set myself up for success. I simply hoped that my brain would work the way I wanted it to without any help which is wrong. I do need a lot of help!

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One thing I am starting to do seemingly this year would be that I want to plan my weeks out. Similar to work. When I was actually working and before I had kids I would plan out my week. I would know my shifts, when I would meet people, when I would have free time. Obviously it goes without saying that you really can’t plan every single detail but if you have specific things like an appointment or something then you certainly can plan that out also too. Like meals can also be planned too, even specifics like if you have to make phone calls. Why make phone calls every day when you can plan it out to be one day where you get all of that done. Sometimes planning fun things is also important too because we forget that planning does not have to be all business and it can also be things that we enjoy. Maybe you want to binge a show, or maybe start a painting idea that you have had for weeks. Planning your week can help you keep track and maybe even get ahead of your list too.

Doing something for you as I mention above is SUPER IMPORTANT. I am guilty of this but I am starting to do this more. Whether it be sewing, watching something, writing these blogs or planning them, scheduling my socials or making videos and being able to do specific things. There is many things that I do for myself. Even if that means taking a drive to pick up a coffee from Tim Horton’s or something in the process. Scheduling a video chat with a friend even. So much so that scheduling things does not have to be all about business and seriousness. However if you are like me trying to make poetry collections and published books, or even your art and sewing as part of a business then it is important to plan that stuff out. Especially if you don’t want to be waiting till the last minute (which I am guilty of). My whole mindset is that I want to set myself up for success and to spend as little time as possible on the computer. I want to make sure that things are going as planned and helping myself take steps forward and not steps back.

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Relax! Have a bath is one thing that I need to do more of especially in the new year. I mean I can obviously start it now too which I should and will but I want to be more mindful. What is more relaxing than starting your week by having a nice warm bath before you head to bed and start the dreaded day of the week Monday. Especially in the winter if there is a chill in the air or something when you want to bring a book in the tub, or maybe watch a tablet show, or even just sit in there floating and relaxing as your muscles loosen up and you have a warm drink beside you (Or maybe even a cold one too!) and just letting the worries float away. I have so many bath bombs as I write this that it really is a disservice to myself for not wanting to have more baths!

Going to bed early is something that I need to do and is so much easier to say than it is is to do. Are you like me where you tend to go to bed early and then sit there on your phone and are still awake just as long as you would be sitting on the couch watching tv? Yeah that is me too. One thing I want to do to be mindful is I want to start reading in bed. I want to set a hard bedtime where I turn off all the lights. I also want to disconnect. I want to start reading a book and tiring my eyes that way instead of trying to use the screen to do that. As you may know, using the screen does not tire your eyes at all in fact it can make you even more awake and have an even worse sleep due to your eyes and the glare the screen has.

Overall, there are many things you go to to set yourself up for success for the week. These are just the ways that I am going to do in order to have a great week. I can say that when I do end up doing this, It actually is some of the most productive weeks I ever have because I have these goals and I don’t let anything get in my way of completing them! Though with holidays and things with life coming up, it can be challenge to do this I am going to do my best to develop these habits now in order to keep them going for many many weeks to come, if not for years and years.

Don’t forget too, There are going to be weeks that you are just super busy and maybe even don’t feel like planning things out, maybe you are sick or on vacation. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Nobody in this world is perfect or even close to it. If you miss a little bit there is always time to come back and set yourself up for another week too. I know we beat ourselves up but there is never a too late when it comes to success or planning anything out!

Postpartum Anxiety

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It could never happen to me, Right?

That was something I am sure many people think about when they have a baby they are about to give birth to, I know for me I knew very little about what exactly post postpartum anxiety is. Even after my 1st I still never really knew.

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Post Partem anxiety is, as described by google :
Postpartum anxiety is excessive worrying that occurs after childbirth or adoption. People with postpartum anxiety may feel consumed with worry and constantly nervous or panicked. If you or someone you know has symptoms of postpartum anxiety, get help from a healthcare provider immediately.

And you know how I figured out that I probably suffer from this, I was watching a TikTok. In the video it was something like “Here are your signs that you suffer from postpartum anxiety, and one of them was holding on to their baby and as they walked up the stairs they had a thought bubble of “I hope that I don’t drop the baby”. And that is when it clicked. I have postpartum anxiety. I know it sounds wild but I totally do. I think that all the time.

Now mind you, there is absolutely no reason for me to ever have to drop a baby while walking up the stairs. It’s not like a baby is that big or squirmy that they will jump right out of your hands. Another thing is walking by these small hooks holding up a felt board for my oldest. And thinking, “Wow, I hope that I don’t drop the baby on one of these hooks” which is the smallest thing to ever happen that the chances are so, so, so, slim unless MAYBE and I mean from the furthest stretch maybe I had a seizure or something and they hit their head but the chance of that happening is so low also.

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Postpartum anxiety is also included in trying to think about the worst case scenarios. Even though they are so outlandish that they will never likely happen. It can also be the feeling that you are forgetting something, maybe you are afraid that you will forget the baby in the grocery cart or in the car. Maybe you will forget the baby somewhere or forget to feed them. Maybe it is even the feeling that you are never doing enough to help them grow when you are already going above and beyond what you need to.

When thinking about postpartum anxiety I would like to think that I never thought it would happen to me, but more than likely I never knew what it really was. I believe I did have it with my first born but I never really identified what it was. It was literally that TikTok that made me think “Wow, this sounds exactly like how I am thinking.”

A few ways that I try to overcome these feelings because I haven’t reached the point of needing outside help or anything is whenever a thought like the walking up the stairs pops up, I always remind myself that is silly and it just won’t happen. I remind myself that “I have a good grip and there is no way the baby will suddenly fall from my arms. I am a good mother and that they will be good”. I remind myself that I am a good mother and that I will do anything to take care of these kids and that I can help them achieve anything.

Another thing I have learned to do is taking a step back. If I feel like this I talk it out with my spouse. I’ll say if my babies were crying and I was unable to console them that I feel like I am a horrible mom, which we all know is not true but babies do in fact cry and sometimes we need to vent that to a partner who will reassure us that we are doing our best and the babies are just a little bit fussy for the time being.

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While I am still learning about what exactly postpartum anxiety is it is super hard for me to not keep learning. As we are planning for our 3rd baby (Spoiler, We are due in August and you can read about it here!) I want to be able to manage myself with the help of others instead of bottling things up. Part of the reason why we never hear about this I think is because parents hold this inside and it really isn’t a main stream thing. We never really talk about after a baby is born and all the changes that can happen with our minds as our way of thinking goes from ourselves to someone else. We are taking care of another human being which is one of the hardest things that I can say I have ever done in my entire life.

I hope that as I grow and keep becoming a mother time and time again that I am learning how to cope and can help others who I may know, or people who read this that there are ways to not be stuck with this. I will say though, having multiple children it for sure has been different with each one. As we had more I feel like the anxiety was better. With my oldest I remember thinking about the stairs feeling literally every single time we went up or down the stairs. I always thought “what If I slip or what if we fall?”, spoiler alert, it never happened. It was always in my mind. And though with my 2nd child I do have those feelings occasionally it was never as bad as it was with my 1st. Which maybe is because after you have one baby you kind of grow in confidence that you are able to keep one baby healthy and growing that with a second you can to the same.

Please though, If you or someone you know are struggling and talking it out of doing it alone is not helping, reach out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have help to overcome some of these strong and debilitating emotions. Everyone needs some help sometimes.

Felix’s First Birthday!

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By the time you read this it will be nearly 3 months after his first birthday. i know I am MAJORLY slacking on this since I was so bang on with my oldest. But as many people do say, better late than never!

I cannot believe my little baby, and I say little lightly because he was not a little baby. Weighing in at 9lbs and 6oz he was nearly 3 pounds heavier than his brother. They also say that having kids time flies. I found having two kids the time flew even faster that I can barely keep up.

Felix has been such a great sleeper I feel like we are so extremely lucky. With being so big he has drank so much formula I’m surprised we don’t have shares in it. Milestones have been happening so incredibly fast too. I think this may be because this little fella is trying to keep up with his bigger brother. The voice too! Felix has such a loud voice and loves to talk to us whenever we are laughing and goofing around.

While it took a little while for Vincent to come around he loves to help his baby brother too. He likes to pass toys or give hugs and things also. He also likes to put dirty diapers in the garbage but not before asking if it is poop or pee first.

Felix has been so different than our first in many ways. Obviously each child is their own but Felix is just the total opposite. He is so mischievous and he tries to really test boundaries. And he is also so much more of a daredevil when it comes to trying to get better at standing and learning to walk too. Soon I feel like you will be running around the house too! As I write this he still hasn’t started solo walking yet but any day now it will be happening I think!

I don’t know if I would compare births and say which was harder. But I will say this was a hard birth in so many different ways. I talk more in detail about how it was challenging here. You made me see a different side of having a baby that I was so totally not ready to see. I knew nothing about a c-section and I knew nothing about recovery either. You made me really take in the moments and slow down because I had no other choice but to do so!

You have your blonde hair and blue eyes still peeping out in to the world. You laugh when we tickle your under arms and thighs just like your brother did. But yet you are both so very different. You have grown so much and are nearly the same size as Vincent. Having you though has made us feel like you have brought so much to us. I know that as you get older and play more Vincent also likes that too. Though he is still not a huge fan when you take his toys and don’t share though to be fair he doesn’t really always share with you first either! But he is getting better though at it as we do show him that you and him can play together!

I feel like in many ways though we missed out on certain things with you and for that I am sorry. We never really did the photo a week like we did with Vincent but I guess times change and we just never thought about it. Your baby book is a little bit more scarce which is my fault for not being up on that which I know I can do better though! And I feel like we missed milestones with clothes because you grew so dang fast that we had to skip sizes!

Having you, Felix, was a huge blessing and I couldn’t imagine anything different. I am so happy that this past year we have been settled into our new home and made it ours. What I also find mindbogglingly is that eventually you and Vincent will be sharing a room and that is even more terrifying to me too! However you two will have a lot of fun and I’m sure rough sleep nights though due to staying awake and playing.

I am so thankful that you made me your mom and that you have made me see what it was like to be a boy mom (So far) and how you both are growing and interacting with one another. You are so fast and learning so much that it is such a hard belief for me that time really is flying by. I feel like just yesterday we were bringing you home from the hospital and I was getting your dad to bring you up the stairs because I was unable to lift anything other than you! I was on you duty 24/7 because I wasn’t able to lift anything heavier than you, which as heavy as you were seemed like it wasn’t that bad! I hope when we have our 3rd and final baby that you too will follow Vincent and become a second huge helper in the house. You both are so different and so loving that I think you will be the greatest of friends especially since you are not that far apart in age!

I hope to be the best mom for both of you that I can ever be. Teaching you so many things about life and having as much fun as we possibly can too. Your little giggles and smiles are addicting and I light up whenever I hear them. Though I will say, You have brought challenges, ones that haven’t been seen. You do like to bite and you like to fool me by blowing kisses into my arm like fart noises and then biting down. That is not so fun haha and I also am constantly cutting your little baby nails that feel like daggers because you like to pinch and especially grab my necklace! Here is to another year and hopefully me actually getting this out NEAR your birthday, and not 3 months later!

WE ARE EXPECTING OUR 3RD AND FINAL BABY!

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I know. This is wild and insane and we will soon be part of the 3 under 4 club which is crazy and I know we will have a lot of things to do but I am so looking forward to never being pregnant again. Spoiler Alert: This is the hardest pregnancy I have ever had!

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I also want to say too that before I even begin, I am nearly out of the first trimester. By this time this is published and I am releasing it it will be just over 13 weeks. I had full intentions to actually write how I was feeling week by week as an update because with Felix I had given an update every 4 weeks. I will start doing weekly updates though going forward after 12/13 weeks. I am more so wondering if this is harder because I have 2 under 3 right now and am literally busy most of the time.

Right now I have had more morning sickness than I have with both pregnancy combined. Just the last week alone as I write this I have been getting sick multiple times a day. I know that I could have it way way way worse but for this it was a lot. There has been a lot of sleeping. I feel like I am up every 2 hours to the bathroom which is totally insane because I do not remember being up that much at night so early on and I am already sore. I have been taking baths regularly and also even showers where I just stand in the steam and just relax as much as possible. I have been pretty regularly trying to just sit on the couch in my housecoat and relaxing because I feel like I need to. I am counting the days till this is over because I feel like its another chapter that is closing.

As for the gender. A lot of people we know are assuming it is a girl. Due to the fact I am way sicker however I won’t be really thinking about gender till it is confirmed due to the fact that Vincent and Felix were so different pregnancy that I really have no idea. I will say the being sick if that is in fact a thing more so with a girl I would be kind of leaning towards a girl. We do hope to find out the gender like we always have though because we are super impatient and unable to hold it in. I think if it was a girl or boy it will be such a nice ending to our family since we will be done with children.

Another thing I thing I am looking forward to is that this pregnancy we will be due the beginning of August. With the boys I was pregnant through the entire summer and that made me miss out on so much. Obviously I am not saying I regret anything either, I love my children and wouldn’t change it for the world. Having our own home and a nice large back deck where we can sit and enjoy the weather and animals at night has been so pleasant that I am so looking forward to it this summer. Also I am looking forward to having some puffs too because I do miss smoking a bit of weed but it’s something that I have just gotten over and I quit fairly easily. Just like every pregnancy, I even talk about it in a post here.

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As for cravings I don’t think I have really been craving a whole lot. Lots of salty and some sweet. More specifically Wendy’s Fries and dipping them in Frostys. I have been kind of craving slushies but NO WHERE in Halifax seems to have any and if that ain’t disappointing I honestly don’t know what is. I had some thing similar a “Misty” from dairy queen but that wasn’t the same. I also had a craving for a hot fudge sundae from dairy queen so I got a peanut buster parfait without the peanuts. And for my birthday this past January I had to specifically order the cake because I was dying to have something that had real buttercream not the window front store cakes with the whipped cream icing that isn’t sweet at all. I also have been trying to randomly eat different things because I swear sometimes I have eaten things and within a few hours I know I’m about to be sick and low and behold I end up getting sick.

I have been trying to keep busy though and have been trying not to nap in the day time because I feel like its such a wasted opportunity when the boys are sleeping to be able to get things done. Or I have been trying to do things as I go while they are doing things or I am cooking supper. Like if I am in the bathroom with Vincent I will try to tidy a few places or change the garbage. Stuff like that which is helping to get back on track. I swear though this pregnancy I have been unable to get enough sleep. Even sleeping in the day when I try to nap at night I am exhausted and then I find myself having trouble sleeping for long periods. One thing I need to start doing is reading beore bed. I need to stop being on my cell phone because it’s not making me sleep any better if anything its making me stay up later. I have some great books that I need to read and what better time to do so than now.

Overall I am hoping the next 2 trimesters go by way smoother and I am super scared about the actual birth which is a whole other blog topic as well as something I won’t be even thinking about until later when it is way closer to the due date but still. Here is to the final pregnancy that I have and hoping things go great. I cannot wait to meet our final missing puzzle piece to our family!