Category Archives: Life

A letter to my Ex

Dear Dumbass,

Yes. You are a fucking idiot. I know already this post will be mean, and cruel but that is nothing in compare to what you have done to me when I was so young. I feel like after 10+ years I am finally able to write this even though I know there is a strong chance you will never get to read this. I would put you name on blast here but maybe with the help of people on Halifax Twitter they can pass it along to people from Liverpool and you will see what a thriving adult I have become with no thanks to you.

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Dating you was by far one of the darkest times of my life. I was 18 years old and you were old enough to know better than to be an abuser. You took advantage of who I was and how I was in life. I was easy going, I was kind, I would give anyone the shirt off of my back, including you. I hate that I was so blindly in love with you than I allowed you to take advantage of me financially, mentally, and physically. I am finally getting over the fact that I was too shy or afraid to say no and that I ignored all of the red flags that were so bright even astronauts in space could have seen them. I never knew that my first romantic relationship officially would be the worst one of my entire life.

I will never thank you for anything that has brought me to where I am in life. Instead the experience of me being with an actual abuser has taught me a lot.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!

I now know what I wanted in a partner. I wanted someone who had a job. And no I dont mean the dead end jobs that you quit after a few weeks because you just wanted to stay home and blow all of my money on weed and poker. I wanted someone with a stable job. One that could support me if I ever needed it. I wanted someone who could afford their own apartment. Not renting a room in a large space, I mean someone who actually was renting their own apartment because they had the job to afford it. I also deserved someone who had their license and a vehicle. I was tired of busing from Sackville to Halifax to see you when you did nothing in return. I knew this was something I deserved after putting up with you for 2 years.

One of the best things to happen to me was driving by your house with a friend on Canada Day in 2020 or around there to find out that you in fact had some girl over. Funny story, You actually got her pregnant while with me. That was the ending that I needed to rid you from my life. And you know what, You also abused her apparently. Who would have thought right. Shocking I know.


Fast forward to 12 years later. I still sometimes Facebook search you. I see your profiles. You know the multiple ones you continue to create every few years when you are running from your problems. Hell, I even googled your name AG (Yeah, Let’s use initials now, maybe I can warn someone of how toxic you are). You know what I found, How you escaped from a mental health floor in Halifax. I felt relief that I had dodged that bullet. I truly believe if I was still with you I would have been dead by now. I also haven’t continued to block your accounts because I want you to see what little I show publicly and how I am thriving. How I am doing so much better than when I was with you.

You may be asking, But why am I writing this letter to you now AG. Why, that would be because in a few months (If not sooner) my goal is to release a collection of poetry. This collections will be on subjects that do have abuse and hatred in them. A lot of the times when I talk and write about domestic violence and how you made me feel it is in regards to you. I never mention your name in them but if for some reason they end up in your lap know that you are still that piece of shit you were when I was 18 years old. When you stole my money, when you played poker on my credit cards, when you broke my possessions because you got mad and thought breaking MY stuff was cool, or when you stole money from me to buy weed or other drugs, or when you left me in the cold because a drink accidentally got spilled on you at the bar. Oh and lets not forget the bloody lips, the countless bruises, the thrown glasses, or the time you stabbed me in the leg with a pair of scissors. You did all that. Or even the times you defrauded my bank account or made me sign you up for a cell phone because you have NO credit either.

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They say that life only throws what you can handle. Well I barely could handle you. I will again never say I am thankful for anything that you have done for me. You did teach me a lot about myself indirectly. AG you are the worst relationship anyone could ever have. The only thing missing was murder. I like to think that because I had to endure you for so long that the universe has rewarded me with my lifetime love. Again, maybe I am finally getting the courage to write this out due to my poetry and author debut coming up. Maybe I finally feel like I am ready to kind of share how it feels for a part of my life and how much I was hiding from everyone. Maybe secretly I hope you read this and you continue to know what a piece of shit you actually are. I know you have more kids who you probably don’t see. And have never been in a long term relationship either.

Before I go though. I won’t go into too much detail, I want you to know this.
I am incredible. You were lucky to even have me once let alone twice for the second year. I am happy that you threw me aside and I picked myself back up again because I was too young to have left you. Right now as I write this my two son’s are asleep. I am sitting in my nice warm house. Not rented, Owned. I have a spouse who loves me for every single flaw you helped to create. He and I have been together since about 8 months after I was with you. It was scary for me to date again. But as I mentioned I knew what I wanted. I have a vehicle and a license. I no longer need to take the bus to see anyone. I have a cat who is not abused like your cats were and I also have a dog. I am debt free and I am at a point in my life where I want everyone to know that I am just as incredible as I always was. I keep people around who want to be around and get rid of dead weight when they use or abuse me. Since being in what one would say a relationship, as shitty as it was, I have had so many positive experiences and relationships.

I hope you are jealous.

Get your copy of the Darkness here

My High School Ecstasy Addiction

Before I begin, I’m writing this for a few reasons. One being a release of my poetry book. The Darkness touches on some of life darkest subjects. One of those being drug abuse. And before anyone says “bUt hOw dId yOuR pArEnTs nOt KnOw”. Well what can I say, I was a good liar and embellished the truth when the time came up. My hope is that by sharing this story that maybe, just maybe you will notice some things on your own instead of having it happen behind your back. Plus as a parent, Id like to think I could notice this with my kids when they are older in the event that they too find their way into this lifestyle even if only briefly.

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It started super innocently, doesn’t it all? I had friends who liked to occasionally do ecstasy for dances. I was a stoner and figures why not? It was a one time thing and it would be an experience. Normally people have a few drinks and what not but this time I wanted to have a bit more fun. I was 17 (I think) and it was the summer months. Maybe May. I obviously only took one and it was enough. I wanted to dance and dance and dance. I felt invincible. Like I had energy of 100 people and the night would never end. To say I never enjoyed it I would be lying.It was so different than smoking weed, I felt like I had energy and could go non-stop. Much different then the weed that I was used to smoking which made me more sluggish and chilled out. This was the opposite.

*** If you are someone who is really enjoying the blogs and has the financial freedom to want to support this through tips, you are more than welcome to do so by clicking on this link to bring you to my personal Ko-Fi page. Never will you ever be pressured to support in this way however the option is there if you wish to do so! Your continued support regardless of financial or not is greatly appreciated

Fast forward. I wanted to do it more. I wanted to do it at parties. I wanted to do it at my workplace. Lucky for me I worked at Burger King and there were also staff members who also dabbled into these so we would do them on our nights. The evenings would literally fly by and well would be on top of our game. If anything it would enhance our experience of working because we had an unlimited amount of motivation and energy (so it seemed). Where we worked so late by the time we would come down we would also be heading to bed so it kind of worked out in the end. Even still we would maybe just end up staying a bit later if anything. Sitting in the back parking lot when the store closed and then smoking a joint or chain smoking cigarettes.

Soon I was buying between 10 to 20 pills at a time. I was selling some to make my money back. I was using them while at work, in school, partying, hockey games, anywhere. I was even doing them alone in my room with all of my trippy lights too. It honestly never mattered. And what is worse is I was smoking like a champ whenever I was on them. I was hiding it from people I was gloating to others that I could do ecstasy and function. The high was amazing but the come down was not. I felt drained and just sad. Because ecstasy messed with your mind literally giving you a feeling of happiness when it is gone from your system you feel down, empty. Like you needed some sort of pick me up to bring you back out of this type of slump.

So now your wondering how did I quit? Well. I still did it occasionally up until I was 21. Mind you it was far far less of a daily occurrence and maybe a once or twice a year thing or something that I did in the clubs while partying. It wasn’t done at my job and it wasn’t as in the open so to speak. I just couldn’t keep doing it like when I was a teenager. Nor did I have the money to do it like that either. It was something that I would get if I knew anyone who had any at the time and I would just do it for a treat. I know that sounds absolutely nutty but that is the truth.

Then my 21st birthday happened. I had a random pill left from ones I had bought a while ago. It was like something snapped. I was an adult everywhere in the world. I was just getting high with some friends (weed that is) and I had this one solo pill. I threw it out the window. Like threw it out the car window as a friend was driving me home from a night of geting baked smoking weed. Now as an adult with kids, I probably should have flushed it but I cant turn back time and that is what happened. It was like something had happened where I was ready to close that chapter of my life. I was just over that part of my partying days. That was it. I think because I was barely doing it anyway it was easy for me to not do it anymore. Had I still been deep into taking pills or MDMA like I was when I was younger, I may not have had an easy time to give it up.

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Do I regret taking that pill for the dance that night? Maybe. There was a lot of situations that I put myself in that were risky beyond words. Did it help me grow or teach me things about my life? Yes. Looking back though, I am thankful that nothing more serious happened, and the fact I could stop on my own without outside help too. There is for sure moments now as an adult that I wonder just how I got through them. Some sketchy parties were around and things like that.

If you would like to purchase the book you are more than welcome to do so here, though the link is for the Canadian site you may need to be redirected to the Amazon sited for your Country to be able to purchase a copy for yourself!

What Does a Picky Eater Eat

It is no surprise that whenever someone meets me they are instantly surprised if they do so around a meal and I seemingly do not eat the “normal” food that others do. Believe it or not at some point in my life mostly as a child I did in fact eat a lot of food. I wasn’t as picky but now as an adult I barely eat anything.

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Now before you are asking, how did it get this way? My mom never “made” us eat things. Her mother did and they would throw up at the table. My mom never made us eat things. If we didn’t want to eat it that was alright. But we also would go without for the rest of the night too. So if everyone else was having ice cream we were not allowed. I was a kid that wouldn’t eat what I was supposed to and I didn’t care if I got ice cream or not. I know you are probably also thinking “But Stacey, how do your kids eat?” They eat great! Their Dad, my spouse eats anything and everything under the sun.

Meats: the ONLY things I eat remotely close to meats would be chicken, depending on my mood, bacon, balogna, and hot dogs. Sometimes I will eat small sausages however it honestly just depends on my mood really. The thought about eating meats like steak or hamburgers does not appeal to me at all though. If I were to dabble more in the meat category I would not be touching these. I also do eat fish sticks too. But let’s be honest. They are so over processed that I dont think it really matters at that point. I do eat nuts and seeds though and peanut butter. So even if I’m not eating meat in the obvious way I do try to get the same protein from other sources.

Veggies and fruits: these are virtually non existent. I dont eat any fruit but have on a very rare occasion drank a fruit smoothie. It has to be blended to be the smoothest consistency because I cannot handle anything with texture. I do lime dried fruit thins like these and I also love some juices like apple juice or even orange juice (without pulp).

Dairy is one that I eat a lot of but not really. I dont like yogurt or stuff like cottage cheese either. But I do love cheeses and I adore milk. I drink cows milk not almond or whatever else but if you do enjoy that you can check them. I enjoy milk and always have since I was a child. That being said in the summer I do drink less because I find with the heat I am not feeling it normally.

Breads are my favorite. If I was anything I would be a carbavoire. I love pasta and breads and anything in between. One thing I wont eat but I’m sure I would do obviously fine is if I swapped white pasta or white break for whole wheat. Now the taste is obviously different but I think I would still enjoy it regardless I just never do. If you are wondering what I eat, this is basically the majority if my meals. In fact as I write this I am probably going to be making some Kraft dinner for my son and I for lunch today. We maybe have it once a week because he has much healthier options in the mean time like veggie soups. I will also say that I do not like rice either. Anything with a dough basically is huge for me.

Another big hurdle that I have is texture.

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Now I know what you are thinking, why not try things now? What is stopping you?

I think I have 2 reasons to blame for this. Or maybe its me making an excuse to justify it but who knows.

One reason for this is because I believe that I have an anxiety surrounding foods. It is like the thought of even trying something new makes me immediately want to shut down. It makes me feel sick and nauseated. I can’t even really explain it. Its comes to mind the saying “I like what I like and I know what I like”. Trying new things is something I always said that I wanted to do. I want to for my health but also for my kids to enjoy other things with me too. Its just when the moment comes to actually do it I freeze and I have no idea how to get the thing inside of my mouth to try.

I am also trying my best to post daily tiktoks too. These are important I think as a way to hold myself accountable and also I want to share with others that I can basically eat what I want and lose weight as long as it has to do with portion control and counting calories. Life doesn’t have to be hard or difficult or a bunch of numbers and tracking. Just trying to count one thing calories can be huge in losing weight!

If you would like to purchase the book you are more than welcome to do so here, though the link is for the Canadian site you may need to be redirected to the Amazon sited for your Country to be able to purchase a copy for yourself!

Why Fashion is Unimportant to Me

Growing up I was in no means a fashion icon of my time. Heck I wasn’t even the popular kid in school. I wore very plain clothes and I was not even memorable. However even now in my 30’s fashion has no significance in my life. Here is why I dont think fashion has or ever will be an important part of me.

We as kids, were a home that believed in hand-me-downs. We would get stuff from my mom’s friends who had kids who were growing out of their clothes or maybe they were getting rid of stuff too. We also were very into second hand stores. Frenchy’s in particular my mom loved to shop at because more often than not she could find name brand clothes for a fraction of the price. Not to mention that she also would find things that still had the tags on from when they were first purchased by someone else too. I was what you would call a “Tom Boy”. I had a mushroom cup which morphed into a shorter style. Mostly because I hated brushing my hair or having my mom brush it and while playing sports like soccer it was a lot easier than growing it out and having to pin it up so that it wasn’t in my eyes. My glasses were the original Harry Potter ones to the point multiple people have said that when it comes to glancing at the pictures you would see at my parents house or on the rare occasion my own.

My style as a teenager has been pretty plain. I typically wore jeans and sweaters. I never wore super bright colors or I never really was interested in anything in terms of the latest trends. I wasn’t chasing anything. I had some nice tops that I wore for dances and special events but it was never an every day thing. I was pretty standard of what you would expect to see from a stoner. I didn’t want to stand out I wanted to blend in. I never wore shirts that pushed the school rules for the dress code either. I never showed a lot of skin or wore skirts or anything that you see now causing a controversy in schools. I legit wore jeans, maybe a short in the summer, and a sweater normally. I rocked a pretty plain back pack and a binder that I was too cool to not show off. But in terms of style I really wouldn’t say I had any. If it fit and had no rips I basically wore it. Sometimes I would have colors but nothing major.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon

Style in my 20’s was absolutely WILD! I think i did everything I ever dreamed about. I was all for the Bluenotes graphic t-shirts. I also wore a lot of bright sweaters. Basically it was me trying to figure out how many colors I could fit into one outfit. I was even told that I was rainbow bright. I rocked jeans however they were colored. I had a green, yellow, purple and red pair that I wore with basically anything and everything. It was truly a delight to see. I dont even know why the sudden change however it happened and I love it though. I have so many photos (which I probably wont be able to find for this) to show just how bright I was. it was fun for me to save money and buy new clothes because for most of my life I never really would buy clothes. I was given them or they were hand me downs from second hand stores. Once I had a decent job and could afford it I wanted to buy the brightest things there could be!

Now I am in my 30’s I would say I still have a style that really is a mix of the two decades of my life. For example, as i write this I have a purple tank top on and red capris. However I would have socks on they would probably be mixed and not matched at all. That being said sometimes I wear all dark or all light or sometimes I just wear a black sweater. I would say that even if I wear colors they are pretty tame compared to the graphic tee sayings that I was wearing before. I do wear more plaid or some prints but in terms of wild i wouldn’t say that I am. I do however try to dress my son’s in cool clothes and outfits with lots of colors because honestly, they are adorable! Anything to really stand out for them more so than for myself.



As for what it will be in the future, I would say probably the same as it is now. I like the mix of colors that i have and I like how I do stand out a little bit. Sometimes Ill buy the sparkle shoes instead of plain ones. Or maybe they will have a brighter print on them instead too. There really is a lot you can think about in terms of trying to get some pops of color there. Growing up and maybe now though I kind of followed a beat to my own drum.

I never really followed trends or wanted to get the newest piece of clothing that was the must have thing. I did obviously get the Columbia coat and gap sweater when it was popular but I never went out of my way to shop at American Eagle like the popular clique did at school. Why bother looking the same when you can be your own person!

Frowned Upon Parenting: Part 2

The following post has been made thanks to the app Peanut (Not sponsored) where you can ask and interact with communities and groups of fellow Mom’s. One day I had asked one of the groups that I was in something that they would be doing that they know as a fact other mom’s or parents would be frowning upon. These were some of the things they said. For me, I will be also giving my opinion on each of the situations and hopefully you get a chuckle out of them. Some of them I know that I do or will do in my parenting journey, others I completely disagree with.

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If you want to see the previous part’s as they are released they will be added here:
Frown Upon Parenting 1
Frown Upon Parenting 3
Frown Upon Parenting 4


One user said that they send their kids to bed early for more couple time. Now, I totally understand where they are coming from with this. I really do. However I think there is only so early you can put your child to bed. WE still at the time of writing put my oldest for a 2 hour or so nap in the afternoon. He also goes to bed between 630-7pm and is up anywhere from 6am-7am. I can’t picture us trying to put him to bed earlier than that. He would be yelling and hating on everything because he is just not ready. Sometimes he goes closer to 630pm and he does yell for a moment however he very quickly settles and falls asleep though. Putting him to bed any earlier would completely throw off his day though. Even sometimes when he is up a bit later maybe 730pm or closer to 8pm occasionally he is tired and ready for bed with his cues that he demonstrates.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon

Ipad games is something I can understand by letting their kids plan them. My son’s are very small and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t trying to prolong their use of it. However I do understand that there can be a lot of nice educational games to be able to use and play on it though. Currently my oldest son only recognizes that the tablet we do have is used for video chats and things. He doesn’t see it as a game right now either. I do know that in today’s age of children that there is an importance to knowing their way around technology though and that eventually we will be getting to that part.

Swaddling is something that I think is really debatable in terms of how long you are supposed to do it. I did swaddle my first son for longer than the 8 weeks. They say whenever showing the signs of rolling or whether they hit 8 weeks. WE did stop however when he was moving his hands and arms to get out of the swaddle we totally stopped. That being said, with our second son we stopped after a week because the swaddles that we did have were too small and we refused to buy different ones due to him being a bigger baby! I do think there is some value in swaddling especially a very small baby because it makes them comfortable. Though there are some that really don’t like swaddling and that is okay too!


One user had said that they fine unless gentle parenting is the approach being used they think that people see it as abuse. I would have to agree with this statement. I would also like to say I don’t agree with yelling at your kids all of the time. Though I think there is a big difference between raising your voice as apposed to yelling. I know my approach may be a mix of a few things but after explaining something for the first 15 times at some point I will be raising my voice to kind of signify that I mean business. This is in no means a yell but just to let the little ones know that I am serious in asking them not to do something. I think also to some extent that if someone claims to be a “gentle parent” if they were to say they NEVER yell or raise their voice I would almost be questioning them whether or not that is completely true.

Picking up a child for crying right away is something that one user said they have received backlash for also. This was because people believe in letting children cry it out. I think this type of parenting is not necessarily a bad thing however it really depends on the situation. If my son’s trip from running and maybe they only fall to their knees, I know by me reacting and “babying” them it may cause them to believe they are more “hurt” than they actually are. That is not the type of thing that I want to be doing. However if they genuinely have something happening where they may be a bit sore or hurt themselves from a tumble than yes I will be scooping them up and trying to kiss anywhere it hurts to make them feel better! I want them to also learn to soothe themselves and that anytime they may have a little trip they aren’t necessarily hurt by it either!

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As you can see there really is a lot of things that parents frown upon others which is why I asked the question and figured that I would be make a mini series of what things parents know to be maybe not the normal lifestyle choices for raising kids! And why not put my own opinions within this too, because you never know how people may feel about these specific circumstances! Was there anything in the list above that you do or know you will have others frown upon your parenting style? Let me know in the comments below, maybe your point will be featured in the next set of Frowned Upon Parenting blogs!

What People Wish They Knew About Pregnancy – Part 2

Before I begin, I want to say this is something that I had asked the people on the app “Peanut”. This is an app where mothers sign up and can meet other moms around their towns and essentially become friends and hang out (Not a sponsor). However for me I felt it was far too overwhelming and in typical fashion I stopped using the app. I did however ask a question to the community, that question was “What is something you wish people told you about pregnancy or birth”. These are some responses and once the other parts become active I will be posting them below with links. And you are more than welcome to check them out yourself too!

What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 1
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 3

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One subject someone said was the decreased sex drive while breast feeding. This could be strongly because while in the first few weeks and months after the birth of your child, if you choose to breastfeed, you will spend a lot of your time with them attached to your chest. Maybe you are pumping for relief though so others can also feed your little one however if you are exclusively breastfeeding you will be spending a lot of your energy with them attached to your breast. Which obviously to some extent will make you maybe not have the sex drive you once had before giving birth.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!

How long to feel normal varies from person to person however it does not happen over night. If I remember correctly I feel like giving birth vaginally made it so that I was able to feel normal a whole lot sooner than it did when I had a c-section birth. I even went as far as talk about the two difference between them in a blog here and I also talk about how there were challenges that I had to overcome with having a c-section in this blog post here. The fact is giving birth to another human has a lot of challenges. However no one prepares you to ever have to wait a long time to feel normal and healed or even yourself again. When will it stop hurting when you walk up the stairs? Who knows but that is something to think about as well. And if you take longer to feel normal compared to your friends who have had kids there is absolutely nothing wrong with it taking longer or maybe quicker. Times vary from person to person.


What to buy what not to can be a bit subjective. In the fact that what someone might recommend might not be needed for other families and whatever. That being said, I know someone out there needs to hear that, there is NO NEED to over buy every single toy you see on the shelf or every single type of shirt, pants or outfit on the rack. If you have enough clothes to go through a week without doing laundry or even a few spare clothes because accidents do happen, you do not need everything under the sun. You will find that as your child ages there is also people who will be buying different things that will continue to fill up your home. I’m not saying don’t buy anything just ask yourself if you need it. For the most part my children have so many toys from friends and family and holidays that I even hide half of them in the other room and swap them out every few months so that they have new things to play with and it is a surprise too.

Second hand shops save money as well as Facebook market place. There are some specific things I wouldn’t buy from those places like maybe stuffed animals because at the time some things may be hard for cleaning purposes however if it is a plastic toy or something that you can clean regularly there is so many things that people can re-use instead of buying new. And if you want to get some sort of savings or even be a family with toys every where (guilty) then this is a great way to save money.

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How lonely it gets is something that I dont personally thing that I feel a lot however I do understand it. Especially with Covid and people with babies are trying to limit contact with people outside of their immediate family however it is lonely. When you have multiple kids you might even be finding yourself isolated, and not on purpose, from people who are like minded. Sure it is great to hang with your children all day but it is also important to get out and have adult interactions. I have a spouse who is home nightly who I talk to and I do regularly talk to friends on messenger and things. That being said I am also looking forward to doing things like walking and little play dates in the summer with friends too. It is import to also have your own time whenever possible away from your children even just for some self care.

Drastic hair loss is something I have been fortunate to not have with either of my pregnancy however I have seen the mental damage it has done to people and friends who have encountered this not talked about enough issue. It is something that may happen every pregnancy, maybe one or two of your ones, or maybe it has different varying degrees too. It also has no timeline on how long it will last. I know for myself, as a woman, even though I have thick hair I can empathize with how it would make a woman feel when they have clumps of hair that have fallen out.

As you can see there is multiple things that may seem pretty obvious to others however this is not the case. This is something that maybe by writing these out a new parent may know before the situation arises! And if you are pumped to read this I can’t wait for you to read the other ones when they come out too!

Things I Do to Workout

I do virtually nothing. Just kidding. There are some things that I do when it comes to working out. That being said, with two kids and being a stay at home mom I do need to be creative. That includes not having a Gym membership. Let’s face it. There would be no way for me to actually get to the Gym. And I dont feel confident leaving my kids with someone even if they had some sort of day care set up either. And by the end of the day I dont feel like going anywhere.

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One thing I did invest in was an elliptical at home. I actually hated the idea of even using one. Until one day a coworker and I went to the gym (this was many moons ago pre kids) and I absolutely loves it. Before then I was about the treadmill and I didn’t even bat an eye at the elliptical . This is more of an expensive investment and unless you are committing to working out with it (which I am guilty of not doing on more than one occasion) it becomes an expensive space saver in your home or the even popular laundry rack. I love the elliptical due to the type of workout that you can do with it by changing resistances and speed and goals.

Now for the inexpensive things. A yoga mat is something I have had for years not just to be used with yoga. It is great to help when you are doing floor exercises and things of that nature too. It is something I use when I am trying to get i to a routine of working out. Along with this is a set of hand weights . Since I am a pretty big rookie I only have 5lb ones but there are plenty of different sizes that you can purchase and use as you go along on your journey. These are just the ones that I use. Eventually I will be going up to heavier weights but for now I dont need to!

Finally. And I know before you even say it. Yes. I am sure that you could find things on YouTube for working out in terms of videos. I also use YouTube for that. However it is nice to have a few DVDs to have on hand just in case you might be traveling, no internet when you workout, etc. I personally have the Zumba DVD and the Jillian Michael’s AB DVD and her Shred one too. If I am working out I dont mind supporting the creators of these workouts. They put the time an energy into it so I feel like supporting them is a great way to keep them doing what they love and obviously I love using.

One thing I really would like to try is to actually walking. I’m hoping in the summer to be going for a walk every day (weather permitted) every morning after breakfast. It shouldn’t be too hot yet for my son’s and it will be a great time for us to get some fresh air and exercise. On our deck we have a covered spot and that is great for the afternoons and out little kiddie pool because it is out of the sun. Plus by that time it is far too hot to go out in the direct sun and our walks there is no guarantee there wont be any!

I think a big misconception is that people think they need to spend thousands and thousands on the biggest equipment phase to get in shape. The bottom line is unless you are motivated there is nothing you can buy to MAKE you work out. You have to have that drive to begin with!

Stop Saying NO to Your Kids

I know, sounds simple right? But what about when they do something you don’t want them too? I am just as guilty of saying no to my kids just like any other person. But I know saying it repeatedly will cause problems as they get older. Let’s talk about all the ways to not say No to your kids, oh yeah, and I wont take no for an answer!

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One of the major reasons why you should not be saying no to your kids is because they are parrots. As you know, when they start to learn and grow they will begin to repeat everything and anything. Currently my oldest is repeating things like “Oh shoot” or “Oh No”. And that only keeps growing and growing and growing. There are times he will repeat something that I have said and it surprises me to no end because I did not expect to hear it AT ALL! If you are a parent, or even care giver or family member or friend, and you always just say “No” to your child, pretty soon they will start saying it to you! Pick up your cup please. NO. Come over here. NO. You get my point. I wont leave you hanging though. These are some of the things and examples that I say to my now 2 year old but have been saying for a while! Is there situations where I do flat out say No? Yes. Mainly when I have tried every other way and he continues to do something that is maybe unsafe or he should not be doing like picking at the cat or the dog or annoying his little brother who is trying to sleep!

“We need to be safe okay, be careful”. This is something I say when my son is adventurous. Since he has been growing in height he has been more and more interested in looking out the front window. By doing this he stands on the rad and peeks out. Now has he slipped and fell? A little. But if I kept saying no he would want to do it more. And would do it carelessly without being safe. If he is exploring I dont want to stop him but also want him to be cautious! I also will say something along the lines of “I dont want to see you get hurt, Okay?” that way he knows that I am saying this because I do not want to see him be hurt by accidentally slipping. Hes a child, he isnt making himself get hurt for a reason, but just like in life, accidents DO happen!

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Redirection IS YOUR FRIEND. This is another key way for me to get my son to stop doing something he is, that I dont want him to do. Maybe he is throwing the toys around which obviously is never encouraged. But it was pretty easy to see whenever he was told to stop and no to throwing he did it even more! Redirection doesn’t always work and sometimes you may need to change it up. If my son is having a meltdown one of the first things that we do is we try to ignore the behavior. After this goes on for so long we then try to redirect him. Maybe he is into his light up cars and ask him to bring them. Maybe we ask him to help us pick up a few toys. Something to redirect his attention. Does this work every time? No. But it can be a good fix instead of waiting and seeing what happens. There are some moments that the best thing to do is just wait and see though. And there will even be some moments that just breathing or talking to him will make him even more mad for whatever reason. We just roll with the punches.

And finally. Yes. There are moments when I do say no to my kids. Is it all the time? No. But when I do say No finally I like to think that it is when there has been multiple times that I try redirection or be careful or safe and when I say No it is normally the end of the line and the end of being all nice. If I end up saying No it means I am serious and that whatever behavior needs to stop. Whether it is throwing toys or a tantrum. I say this and if it makes him cry or have a tantrum more, I ignore the behavior. I let it run the course and typically after there is no more engaging the behavior stops.

I think regardless of method, Or how you choose to stop saying No to your kids, there is so many solutions. Something I also say is Enough. This is one of the last things I always say and my son knows when I get to this point I am serious and the behavior stops now. Sometimes I even pick him up and put him on the couch where he will scream for another few moments because I removed him from the situation (Think, picking at books and ripping the pages) and he understands that this is the end of the line I have reached the point where we are not trying to play games at this moment. Because after all, most kids think when you tell them no it is some sort of game they need to keep defying you about!

You will find your own way of doing things, even if it takes a bit to get used to or to do it regularly!

5 Ways To Be Safer When Staying Home Alone

If you are anything like myself, I am afraid of the dark AND a chicken when it comes to anything remotely scary. If there is one thing that I don’t like what so ever it would be staying home alone. I haven’t liked it at any point in my life and this is no exception even as an adult! I will say though, since having children I do try to be braver even if it isn’t necessarily true. Fake it till you make it right? After all, if something happens than what?! Will I be hailed as a hero or known as being a coward. Here are my 5 tips for staying home alone that anyone can do to feel just a little bit safer in this world.

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Security system seems like a pretty expensive answer. However you can get doorbell cameras which can be relatively inexpensive. This is also a quick answer but it can be a great solution. Personally we have been talking about getting one however it is a work in progress. We have far more things in our home to try to get done before this happens. They can be connected to 24/7 support so that if anything does happen it will be able to connected to a dispatch and the proper emergency teams can be sent to your home. I feel like this may not be useful in say an apartment complex but if you are like myself where you have a house it may be more needed! It also can be accessible with your cell phone (As are a lot of newer systems are) which may even give you a good peace of mind if you are away on holidays or having someone watch your home while you are unable to be there. Due to our neighborhood though we are fairly confident that people would notice anything outside but we have thought about this as an added feature though when the time comes too.

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Keys by the bed is something that I have done for years. The purpose is so that if you hear something or someone you are able to click your panic button and hopefully alert your neighbors if they are not too far away. I suppose they could also be considered a weapon if you held them a certain way. This is such an easy and inexpensive way to protect yourself when you are home alone. I mean, if you already have a vehicle that is! This is such a neat way that you can even put a spare key in your night table regularly so you don’t have to think about remembering to bring it to your bed every night too. This was one of the very first things that I would do when I was living alone and my dog was a puppy, It made me feel that much safer going to sleep knowing I could have something to alert my neighbors. They were fairly close so I knew if I pressed it at least one of them would hear something.

Lights outside lit is another relatively easy thing to do. We have motion activated lights however if you flick the switch again when activated it will keep them on. I used to do this a lot in our old house also. The more lit the outside is the better chance if something were to happen that someone may be able to see. Not to mention also but if I were to rob someone I would not be attempting to break and enter in a home where all the outdoor lights are on so people can clearly see who I was and what I was wearing. To also tie into this make sure that if your neighbors are close enough they can actually see your house. It kind of defeats the purpose if you have a ll the lights lit but you also have a bunch of trees and things that you are literally unable to even see anything around your home.

The Buddy system sounds easy because it is. This is when you get into the habits if calling people especially when you felt a bit uneasy or needed to unwind. I used to do this a lot pre-kids when I would bring my dog outside from coming home from work. Id work til nearly 11pm and sometimes home a bit later but if I knew my parents or a friend was awake I would call them as I took the dog outside. It was so that I wasn’t alone. Just the comfort of having someone on the phone while I was standing outside with everyone around asleep and no one on the street made me feel a bit better. It also helped me to know that I locked the doors and was making my way to the bedroom also too.

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And finally, a dog! This is by far the most expensive and time consuming option because as many may know a dog is another member of the family! It is a companion that you dont just discard when it is convenient for you. We first got our dog when I moved in with my spouse and he was going away a lot for his job. We had already had a cat but obviously the cat would be no good in the event of a break and enter on my home. A dog not only could potentially protect me but also could be a faithful friend for making my home feel less empty. Having a dog around even if he wasn’t a guard dog or anything made me feel safe. And that is too important right?!

I’m Addicted to Sugar

If anyone can say that are addicted to sugar I am one of them. I’m writing this as more of a self loathing piece but also as a hand out stretched to others who may also be feeling the same way that I do. I know that I am not alone here and maybe by writing about it others too can feel some solidarity. It is not something that is in our head, an addiction to sugar is a very real addiction.

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If you are anything like me, cutting out sugar is just unrealistic and you will do alright for a few days and then you will bounce back eating just as much sugar as you did in one sitting as you did for the few days you stuck to your cutting back. This is me. 

It starts like this, the sugar cycle if you will. It starts normally with a major binge. And I’m not talking like we had a bowl of chips and a chocolate bar type of binge. I’m taking about 3 Aero bars, maybe some gummy bears, a bowl of ice cream or a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, maybe even a second helping. Then I have NEARLY instant regret as I feel my stomach turning and the worst part is this is normally in the evening so I am also heading to bed soon. By doing this so late (or even at all) I know I will have a restless sleep and I wont be good the next morning because again, I will feel over stuffed (because I am). The next day I dont even want to think about food until the mid day because I am that full from the night before. And sometimes it will repeat for a few days and sometimes it ends there and I do alright with sugar for the next few days.

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If this sounds anything like you, know that you are not alone. For some reason I associate this type of junk food with happiness. Never do I really eat when I’m feeling bad. Normally I won’t have a need or feel for junk. But when I feel happy I feel like eating this crap like it makes me feel better? It never does.

They say that sugar addiction can be just as hard to curb as something similar to harder drugs like methamphetamine or even cocaine. I would agree with this. It can be just as damaging also though maybe in ways you may not see like you would a meth addict. But in long term illnesses that creep up after years and years. It can even ruin your teeth also. Coming off of sugar or drastically cutting back can also have am effect on yourself too. I know for me, when I begin to cut back or limit my sugar intake I tend to have some sort of headache from not having anything. Not to mention it makes me cranky and I am always thinking about what I will eat and when too. Or even thinking about a binge where I will randomly order junk food for delivery and then really eating all of the junk food in the house. And before anyone says, “Why do you even have that in your house”. I believe in self control even if I have none sometimes. I want to have it around because if it wasn’t I know that I would be far worse than I am now.

So where does that leave us? Where does that leave me? Continue to keep this deadly (eventually) cycle going? End all sugar and risk binging and bouncing back? No. This is a moment when I take control of my life. I need to be mindful and take care of my body. For multiple reasons. And it starts today.

From this day forward, I am going to make more mindful, and conscious decisions about the sugar I consume. I will limit when I have it. Meaning I am going to so my very best to not binge after 8pm. Maybe even 7pm also too. Setting this limit will hopefully be a great way to limit sugar since more often than not it seems to be night when I tend to do my binging. And primarily on sugar. I am also keeping track of calories again. I need to lose weight and everyone knows sugar is not going to make that happen. This wont happen overnight. I know also that. There will be slip ups. That is okay. I will learn, and move on. I let days snowball when I have a bad one and I need to let them just end. Not gathering more days from self hatred.

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What I wont be doing is actually counting the grams of sugar that I consume. Why? Because I already have a minor obsession with weighing myself that I am afraid if I add something else in terms of counting or monitoring I will drive myself crazy. And let’s be honest here, do I really need to know that in a can of pop or a chocolate bar that there is too much sugar for me to be eating multiple? No. So by adding more for me to keep track of it is only going to make my mindset paranoid about whether or not I am eating too much or too little.

Now. Let’s be mindful. Be strong. We can beat this addiction just as many before us have done and many after us have done. It wont happen instantly. It wont even happen fast. But the reward at the end is so much better and the time will be worth it!