Looking back at when I was a teenager in particular, I can say that I was legit a rotten kid. I was combative with my parents, I tend to have been rude more often than not and I felt like they were out to get me. Not that I am 30, have a son and another child due towards the end of 2021, it really has given me some perspective that I didn’t think I would have if you had asked me as a teenager. Here are 3 things that I wish I could tell my younger self.
Number 1 : Your parents are not the enemy. Growing up I would say my parents were leaning more towards strict. We, meaning my siblings and I grew up in the era without cell phones til we could pay for them, and to follow the street lights. In high school we we not allowed out past 10-11pm depending if there was things we were doing and we had to check in regularly if possible too. Even though we were secretive with things as most teens are, we still had a pretty good means of communication though. I felt like my parents were the people who would do things just so I wasn’t having any fun when looking back now it really wasn’t. I know my sister mentioned this before and she agrees. There is a reason why we had to be in specific times, why is this you might ask? Because there really is nothing out here after 1030pm that is for teenagers. Not only that but a lot of times when I would hear my friends who had parents who really did not care what they did and were out all hours of the night, they often were the ones who would be getting in trouble with multiple people and in multiple places. So I guess by them being more strict than some of my friends at the time they really were doing us a favor.
Number 2: Do better in school! I know this probably comes as no surprise but for me it was something I put on the back burner and really did not focus on. I was too busy smoking cigarettes and hanging out with the stoners.. maybe partaking in that as well, to be bothered with good grades. The funny part in all this was I never missed more than 4 classes. I always was there so that I could get exempt from exams we were allowed to miss. I wish I could tell myself to focus more on grades both in high school and collage because it may have helped a lot more when trying to apply. I went to community collage and while nothing is wrong with that, looking back I wish I had some sort of honors in school. I was just scrapping the bottom of the barrel to get by that I never really thought grades were that big of a deal. I wish I had even applied for scholarships or put some effort to maybe help myself financially by achieving good grades or even by just applying for things. I know that I failed chemistry and advanced math in my first year but I think if I had not of gotten lost in the mix of weed and wanting to look cool than maybe at the end of the day I would have been able to go to a university easier instead of collage.
Number 3: It does get better. I know this may seem like it never will but it does get better. When I was in high school everyone liked me. I could be everyone friend. I was however, never close with people. Coming right out of high school and into collage I was in an abusive relationship. It felt never ending and it felt like I was essentially trapped there for all of eternity. I wasn’t Fast forward to now, I am a 30+ year old women, with a solid relationship of almost 11 years, one son and another baby on the way. Things DO get better. The friends i made in high school who I was really close with which is not a lot, we still talk semi regularly. However a lot of people I am close with are from collage or even just friends from before high school and things. Even friends that I made from work are still around. You do not need to jump through hoops in order to feel secure. At the end of the day being popular in high school or collage does nothing for you as far as a career goes. It might help with social skills but other than that it wont get you good grades, or promotions, or job interviews. You get those on your own. And even if you are the bullied kid or you are feeling like you are lost without a specific clique to belong to, that wont matter when you are 20, or when you are 25, or when you are 30. You will find your people or they will find you and when you find them you just know.
Those would be the three things that I would tell my younger self. Im sure the longer I sit here the more things I would be able to write about what I would say. Not to mention if I was to write this in another 10 or so years I would assume that there would be more or different points that I would want to tell myself also. Everyone I am sure has something that they would tell their teenage selves. Even if it was just to let them know that everything is going to be okay!
Do you have similar things that you would want to tell your younger self?
Is there anything that you did as a teenager that was risky and are surprised that you are still kicking now?
Is your life in the spot where you expected it to be after all these years?
Let me know in the comments below!
Stacey J. Girard 