Tag Archives: Opinion

Begging for Money? Subs? Does it work?

Streaming, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

We all know someone who has begged for subscribers or money or whatever have you in the streaming world. To the viral clips that get a lot of attention of streamers calling out their viewers for not saving 5 dollars to subscribe and financially support their channels. Does it work, Maybe. But I know for sure that the attention these clips get these particular channels is actually insane. To the retweets and comments on them is worth it? Today we talk about if begging for money from your viewers or anyone in general works.

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I also want to state that these are my opinions and some of this may sound blunt and insensitive. I am sorry if that is the case however I will not be changing my opinion on this in order to please the people who may be offended by this.

Let’s begin with the “boo hoo” stories. This is where you hear of someone losing their job, or quitting and having no money for rent and things. I have also seen this in streamers who have the desire to go full time without having the means to. Instead of being financially stable before they take the plunge into streaming full time as a profession, they quit their decently paying job in hopes that their community will now fund them. I have no sympathy for people like this. Why? Because they were unprepared by what they set out to do. If you want to take streaming seriously and if you want to do it full time you sure as hell should make sure that you are able to do it full time before even if that means saving money for months to ensure that your “Giving this a Go” is also having the ability to pay your bills and not rely on a community to do so. What is worse or at least in my opinion (Again) Is when you see a streamer attempting the full time aspect of streaming and suddenly you see them with brand new colored hair, new makeup and manicures, but they continue to complain that their bills aren’t being paid. This doesn’t even make sense and if their community is anything like me, I do not want to support someone ESPECIALLY if they are begging for money for bills and using it on luxuries.

Let’s officially talk about those viral videos for money. We know if you actually use twitter remotely related to your streaming that chances are you are able to see all of the different clips of bigger and popular streamers getting essentially “angry” at their community for not giving them money. They may have a sub goal, they may have bills or something they need money for and they are “upset” that they aren’t being consistently subbed to. Why did I use quotes there? Because, Some of these people I THINK make these clips or comments because they know they will end up on a live stream fails list or viral on twitter and it will pull in more people to their streams. Sure, a lot of trolls will also end up going there. That is for sure true. However there is probably a lot of people who may be also going there to “help out” as well too.

Being direct with how you approach your community and your financial goals could really be how you categories the above with viral clips. You are honest and upfront with goals like “I need x amount of money for x bill by such and such date”. Sometimes communities like the direct approach and how honest a streamer is with them. Other ways streamers have set up goals but are super vague with a mini goal in the background of their streams or incorporated in to their overlays as well. Which can equally be effective if they aren’t talking about it but they do see that it and help out when they can.

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Continuously talking about money on stream is probably one of the biggest no-nos you can do though. When you talk about money on stream all the time whether you are broke or have a lot of it you really aren’t making your viewers feel like they are part of the community. You know xQc? He is one of the biggest streamers in the world who probably makes tens of thousands of dollars a month, Do you ever hear him talk about money on stream? Not really. Because it really isn’t anyone’s business and if he was to do that do you think he would be as successful as he is if he did? If you make your viewers seem like the only thing you are interested in is their money they will not want to stick around. This also goes for showing interest in people who subscribe or donate a lot and as soon as they don’t you don’t show much love to them. When I was back working and kid free I too would donate to a few folks. Sure it was great when it was payday and they were excited to see you getting into harmless bit wars with people, But as soon as that money is gone suddenly it is all changed and you barely get a Hi out of the streamer anymore. It certainly does not make me want to stick around when the only interest the streamer had in me was whether or not I could financially support them.

Lastly, how about we stop making streamers who do talk about their financial goals look like aliens? Talking about goals is healthy and a great way to to fill in your community on your aspirations. Whether it is to buy and upgrade your equipment for streaming or you simply would like to buy a new game or toy for your kids. Letting them know your goals and that financial support is an option. Just make sure that your viewers also know that like financial support there is also ways to support that aren’t financial as well too!

Setting Boundaries as a Streamer

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Setting boundaries as a streamer are extremely important. Let’s face it, There are some pretty screwed up people in the world and having a stalker is an all too real thing out there. How much you share with your community is ultimately your choice. However you don’t want to say too much. Remember, It is a lot easier to not over share then it is to over share and regret saying too much. I will also tell you how much I share with my chat and why I don’t share certain things with them also. There really is no right way or wrong way with how much you want to share with your  viewers it all goes on personal preference. I know I have watched streamers share a whole lot and others not even share their real name!

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DO NOT SHARE YOUR LOCATION!
I swear you would be surprised how many people do this. For myself I do not mind sharing a VERY rough location. ie: I live outside of Halifax. This is a huge city and if someone wants to find out where they will have a very hard time trying to find out where exactly I am. You would be surprised and a bit unsettled when you see and hear of streamers getting swatted (Police called to their residence) or having followers/viewers randomly show up at their homes. This is a complete invasion of privacy and can be extremely alarming as well too. Our homes are our space and there is a reason why we need to be careful for this. I would also suggest that this includes where your camera (If you use one) is facing. If you say live near a very easily figured out location, and your webcam is facing a window people can find out where you are located simply in a few clicks or searches. I don’t have anything by the homes that I lived in that would really show where I live but I know just as I have done if there is a window behind me chances are there is curtains that are always closed. Not that I really think about this when doing streams and where my cam faces just that I always had my curtains closed even in other rooms of the house.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

Last name
This one can be tricky. For me personally, I don’t advertise my last name however I believe if you tip I do think it shows up and I’m okay with that. Chances are if you are tipping a streamer most times people are supporting the person and aren’t going to spill their name to people. That being said this can also be pointless if you are say a pro e-sports player because more often than not your name is already out there when you compete for your team too. If you have a lot of trolls then you might not want to share this also too. However remember if you are making a username or email and you use any part of your name that can kind of defeat the purpose. I know a few folks on twitter who have their full names there which can be a bummer. Especially if they want to keep that side of their real lives personal.

Any type of personal information can be used to trace where you are. Therefore it is extreme important especially as you grow to manage what you say to your community. It can easily slip out and once it’s out there it can be extremely hard to get it back. If you have a few viewers it can be easy to forget and as you grow that not all viewers can be kind. Or if you have the same bunch of folks in your channel regularly you can easily grow close to them that when new people come in to chat it can be hard to adjust what you have said or shared.

It is also important to know, the more personal you are with your chat the easier connections will be. Chats love when a streamer makes them feel like a friend even if they are not that friendly. Making a streamer seem real with real issues and stories is a lot better then a streamer who is a wall and has no connections with them. For me, as a viewer I will watch streamers who connect more on a personal level then ones who don’t. Why? Because if I wasn’t looking for a personal level connection I would simply watch youtube videos. I like the real time interaction of Twitch and a streamer who is personal even without spilling all of their personal information. It also seems that (From what I can see) The more personal a streamer is the better success they have. If someone is all robotic, shares very little, starts stream and just playing games, a person cannot connect it will be hard to bring new people in for sure.

For me. I would like to think that as a streamer I am a personal one. There are things I never mention though have slipped up before. My Bf for example does not want me to say his name on stream. We refer to him as “Space” Mind you there have been times that I have slipped up and said his name but that is not a HUGE deal though. There are also times when I tell stories about my family or friends and most times especially when referring to my brother and sister I don’t say their names either. My camera is pointed at a wall and not a window so that folks cannot see anything outside of my house. Not that I live near any landmarks but it is better safe than sorry in these types of situations. I want to be open and honest with my stream because I treat them as I would my friends. Even if we are a streamer/viewer relationship I want them to feel like it is a safe space. If I wanted it to be a production and totally planned out then I would have a green screen, keep chatter to a minimum and not connect at all.

Be safe out there and remember, setting high boundaries in the beginning is okay, because when you set them low and want them higher, It may be a lot harder to reign them back in if you want to change them!

Domestic Violence Double Standards – Johnny Depp vs Amber Heard

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For anyone out there who may not get it, Domestic Violence does not choose one gender. Though as much as the media would like to portray, or even movies and things, Domestic violence is “known” to the world as something that a man does against a women. I know, this way of thinking is very barbaric and something that is a very old way of thinking. In fact, you might not hear about the reverse domestic violence because men might feel ashamed or scared to speak up for having folks call them weak. This also goes for relationships that are homosexual, inter-racial and the one everyone knows and associates as the heterosexual ones.

Domestic violence does not have to be physical. A lot of people think that physical is the top however there is multiple ways domestic violence can be classified. This can be from mental and emotional abuse, financial abuse, isolation is also a part of this too. There is an assumption that when someone says they have dealt with domestic violence that they have been beaten when in fact a lot of people who have had mental and emotional abuse can be just as damaging as the physical wounds as well. Another misconception that people have about domestic violence is that if it is physical you have to be able to see something. That is not necessarily true. Just because you do not see the bruises or marks does not mean it didn’t happen.

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This brings me to the title of this blog. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have been an on going case in regards to domestic violence. The big story here is that there was domestic violence in the relationship. Who was the instigator in this? Well that is up to a judge to decide however the evidence is pretty damming against Amber. There is things such as recordings showing the courts that Amber is the one at fault when in reality Johnny Depp being a man is the one to blame. Or so people think. As time went on Johnny Depp was removed from movie roles for the allegations what have been made against him. This includes being removed from the Fantastic Beasts franchise as well. Now, You might be asking yourself, what happened to Amber? Nothing. She was not removed from any type of role what so ever. I won’t go in to much details on the court case as I would like you to base your opinions for yourself and not be swayed by my opinion.

The problem here is that when you think domestic violence you automatically assume it is a man against a woman. To say it bluntly, this is the year 2021. There is MULTIPLE ways that domestic violence can occur. It can be man on man, women on women, it can be a women on a man also too. The double standard when it comes to domestic violence and how it is viewed is so skewed that we often are clouded by what is happening based on what we think should be happening. Domestic violence knows no boundaries and it does not discriminate against any type of person.

As a society, we need to stop this one way of thinking. There is a huge stigma when a man comes forward with domestic violence allegations and stigma around what type of person they are. Often they are called weak or similar names. They are made to feel small and they are not normally supported. There is a reason why a lot of domestic violence goes unreported especially with the opposite sex or different relationships because they are often swept under the rug or brushed off by different people.

This goes back to the age old question people pose “Well if it was that bad, Why couldn’t you just leave”. Which is both insulting and misunderstood. When in an abusive relationship regardless of age, sex, religion, or race, you really dont have that option. Sure you may be thinking about it more often than not, but with the isolation aspect of domestic violence you mean have many fears leaving, and if there are children involved that makes it even more challenging to leave.

We must change the way of thinking that there is no specific way domestic violence occurs. If we were to understand that it can happen to actually any person on the planet and not bash anyone for coming forward maybe there would be more reports of such. We need to stop belittling folks who put themselves out there and who are survivors of domestic violence instead of making them suffer in silence. The faster we open our mind of thinking the quicker everyone will benefit from this.

Even hollywood has this backward way of thinking, that is obvious if you watch and keep tabs on the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp case. The public was so quick to jump down and think Johnny Depp was the abuser here because a women couldn’t possibly be the abuser, that he lost a lot of what he worked hard for only to have the case slowly unravel and show that it is not always as simple as one might think in these situations.

I sincerely hope that you brush up on this case, It really is mind blowing how quickly people were to point fingers and how the evidence that is coming out is pointing them in the opposite direction. People assumed that something like domestic violence is a yes or no answer when in actuality there is a lot of maybe, and sure in the mixes too.

Have you followed the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp case?
What are your thoughts with Domestic Violence and the double standard that happens when situations arise for this?

Let me know in the comments below. I would really like to hear your perspective on what is happening and even ways that you think might be able to change the way the world views these.

Struggles of an Over Thinker

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If you are someone like myself that normally finds that their mind is going 100 miles per minute you will know the struggle that I have when it comes to life. If you are someone who is pretty relaxed and doesn’t over think things than this may be an eye opening experience to see how others minds work. There are a few things when it comes to this that are beneficial and others that are a bit challenging. Though overall, for myself anyways I think it can be more challenging than anything!

I over think EVERYTHING. I like things to be a certain way, I like things to be my way, and I like to dream BIG! I would say that I have so many ideas that it can be frustrating to get everything done. I don’t know how many ideas I have had when I was growing up that a lot of the things never went super far due to over thinking things or coming up with another “better” (at the time) idea to move on to also! Let’s jump in to some of the problems it can cause over thinking things.

One major problem I have with being an over thinker is the multiple ideas and no where to start or execute them. I have had so many ideas when I was growing up and one of the best ideas I had that I never followed through with was when I was a teenager I wanted to build a milk carton boat. I saved up all the milk cartons we had so that I could sail across the lake by my parents house. When I went on a grade nine trip my mom ended up throwing them away (She was a hater of ideas, just kidding!). Sometimes I have so many things on the go from over thinking things it can be hard and I often get down on myself for not doing things. Right now for example for the time writing this I have ideas that are about this blog, trying to get multiple blogs written to take me through to September PLUS bonus blogs so that when we move I don’t have to think about the consistency, I am thinking about the home renovations and what I want to do for those, I am thinking about the book I am in the final editing process and hopefully will publish soon, as well as mini short story horror compilations that I would like to put out but need to write and have the chapters written in a book also too, and on top of that being a mom and streaming too! Over thinking things especially for me can be challenging and a struggle because I often get over whelmed.

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I am sure even if people are not over thinkers a lot of us can relate to over thinking when it comes to friendships. If someone hasn’t returned your messages or something you may automatically go to that dark place in your mind where you think that you did something wrong. Then you go back through all your conversations where you think and wonder if there was something that you may have said or done that caused this. You wrack your brain for a long time or until you hear from this person only to find out that it had absolutely nothing to do with yourself. I do this quite often and have been this way for a very long time. It can be super hard to keep friendships or keep your own sanity when you over analyze things you may or may not have done. The only thing you have to realize as well too, and I know I often forget this myself, when we are talking online which we do more often than not now a days is that you cannot tell someone and their intentions based on texts. Maybe someone was offended by what you said when the intentions were not there. Or maybe you think the person was mad at you and you now think about it all day when really they were not mad at all. This is something that I regularly struggle with and am working on trying to not over think interactions with friends. It is hard to do.

Lastly, I know a lot of us can also relate to this, for sure, over thinking before you go to bed! I know across Facebook or any social media you can see the memes pop up here and there about a photo where something or someone is in bed, and they are ready to sleep only to show a clock at 3am and whatever the subject is, laying there wide awake. This would be me. I know before you come at me, yes limiting the screen time before bed will help. I do this and have cut back. But that still doesn’t change anything sometimes when you can’t turn off your brain! I used to bring my tablet to bed, now I only bring my phone. I try to only watch a couple satisfying videos on YouTube as I find it makes my eyes tired. Once we move I anticipate that I will probably read more because I will have my own side of the bed again (currently it is next to the wall and I have no room for a lamp!) which will be nice to have the space. As much as you can say stop thinking about things, it really is not that simple and as hard as you try to have a clear mind it just doesn’t happen that way. What is worse, is being pregnant and waking so much for the washroom during the night, sometimes I will wake up, and think about something else and it starts the cycle again where I am again over thinking things and unable to sleep.

Regardless if you are an over thinker a lot of the times like myself, or someone who occasionally over thinks things. The struggle is real. Finding some solution to easing your mind (unless you embrace it like I try to do sometimes!) it really can be hard and anyone who does not know how it feels to relate to this.

Are you an over thinker like myself?
What are some things you do to help ease your mind when you feel over whelmed?

Let me know in the comments below as I would love to hear ways you cope with this!

Why Gender Reveal Parties are Over Rated

Opinion, Parenting, , , , , , , , , ,

If you are someone fortunate enough to not know what a gender reveal party is, honestly, I am a bit jealous of you and consider yourself lucky. This is one of the latest trends when it comes to having a baby or announcing that you are expecting. Instead of either waiting til you give birth to know the gender, or finding out and simply phoning family or friends, people thought it would be a great idea to have a party to celebrate.

What seems so innocent started pretty basic. A couple would get their ultrasound at approximately 20 weeks to have all the anatomy checked out and they ask the tech to write the gender down on a piece of paper or in an envelope. They then would bring this to a bakery for example and ask them to write some clever saying on the top like “Pink or Blue, which one is you?”. Then they would make the icing on the inside either pink or blue so that when the parent(s) cut into the cake they would know the gender based on the frosting inside. How this whole fad was created I will never know but one can only assume it was based off of someone doing a small reveal and them wanting to do something bigger.

Well, fast forward 5 or 10 years and now it has become some big competition. You have people who still do the cakes, that probably will never change. Then you have people who also do balloons, whether filled with confetti or even a powder. And whenever it is popped you see the color fill the air around. Then you have the crazy folks who need to announce the gender of their little bundle with explosives or some sort of dangerous way. Which sure, does not always backfire but more and more recently you see people getting hurt or even family’s having a member pass away due to some freak accident regarding the way they choose to share this moment with their friends and family.

Then you have people like myself who are old fashioned and when we found out we were having a boy with my 1st child we simply took a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to family and friends and announced it online/texts/phone calls which, brace yourself, completely FREE! We did not want to do a big celebration when it comes to announcing the sex of our baby because as exciting as it is we do not want another reason to spend money. We dont feel like we were competing with anyone so we did not want to give reasons for others or ourselves to spend money.

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And before you say, “But it doesn’t have to cost money!”. Any type of party whether a baby shower, birthday, anniversary will cost money. Sure you can do it on a lower end by just getting the cake with different colored frosting on the inside BUT there is a lot more to it also. From getting the blue or pink colored plates or cups where you use the color you guess the baby will be. To decorations which you can do a solid neutral color like black or gold and silver. Or again, the two colors blue and pink. Then some gender reveal parties have little games and things that you also play. And lastly food. You cannot have a part if there is no food! Especially with a pregnancy involved! Again, you could save money with doing a pot luck style where folks being different dishes however that is another different cost for people to almost foot part of the bill.

The problem, why these gender reveal parties are so over rated, in my opinion is it becomes a show and competition people have with neighbors. With internet and technology as far advanced as it is you can search videos endlessly a out different gender reveals while thinking of your own way to up stage the ones already out there. By doing this it can also cause these reveals to take a dangerous, and even deadly route also. This is due to people wanting to create bigger explosions and bigger shows in front of their friends and families which can ultimately create permanent consequences. And for what? To be the next biggest or viral video online. There is also things that can go wrong like confetti guns not firing, balloons being let go and floating up into the air without knowing the gender too. Not every party that is planned goes perfectly.

Then you have the risk of also showing public disappointment if you are expecting to have a different gender than you were hoping on. Recently there was a video was a video of a dad and mom breaking the balloon with pink being the color scene. The dad immediately showed his disappointment. There is nothing wrong with expecting or hoping for a gender but to show THAT MUCH outward emotions over the gender of your child which ultimately you have a 50/50 chance at either a boy or a girl maybe knowing before everyone else would be a better idea. In the heat of the moment it can be really hard to control your reactions especially if you are more set on one gender than the other one.

For me, I am a mom of one and pregnant with number 2. Our goal is to have a family of 3 children. None of them (even the future one) we have ever thought about having a gender reveal party. Even pre Covid we never thought to have one. I guess we are nearly old fashioned where we just would rather tell our family and friends personally instead of making a big event out of it. There will be other opportunities for us to celebrate out newest family member and we just do not believe that their gender is one of those!

Have you planned to have a gender reveal party before?

Did you pass up on the idea of having a party to reveal it?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Using Mental Health As An Excuse For Poor Behavior

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Before I begin, I want to make it very clear. Mental Health is no joke. People have legitimate health problems and need to have help with that regardless of if it is by going to a doctor, getting on medications, talking to someone or just adopting new self care habits to be better as a person by coping better with these issues. Whether it be anxiety or depression, ADHD or OCD, there are many types of things and if you have one of these and someone else does everyone has different experiences. I am in no way down playing that mental health can be a reason why some people don’t do things or do them. This is going to be talking about people who habitually do harmful things and use their mental health as an excuse.

There are many people, especially on “Streamer Twitter”, who seem to use their mental health as a reason for treating others badly. They may write snappy or shady tweets with people and say they were having a bad mental health day. This is completely wrong and should be called out. Sure, people could argue with me and say they didn’t mean it, or they didn’t think about it when it happened, or it slipped out, but that is not okay. Whether or not you are having a bad day mental health wise, under no circumstances should you be trying to put someone else down. If you are having a tough day chances are talking about it is a lot different then talking about someone else. No one else can control your health physically, mentally, emotionally or whatever else you are dealing with than you.

This ties into blaming others for your mental health. “Oh, I seen Johnny Appleseed post about their life and how great it is and now I am feeling bad about mine, I’m going to post a veiled insult towards them and leave it vague so people don’t know who I’m talking about” etc. It may be hard for you or anyone to feel good for others especially if they have good things happening in their life. Remember the golden rule anyone?
“If you have nothing nice to say, Don’t speak”
Sometimes as adults we forget this. We teach it to our children that some things are better left unsaid and as adults we always feel like we need to be saying whatever is on our mind regardless of if it hurts anyone. After we find out we may have hurt someone with our words we find ourselves making an excuse. Whether that be something is happening at home, You had bad news, You were having a bad mental health day, An episode of some sort was happening, whatever.

Policing online social media is becoming a very big thing. I have noticed this based on the circles I follow on twitter for example. Here is the situation. Someone may commit suicide or they may discuss a traumatic life event, like abuse or rape. Someone or many people who follow this person or see the topic arise will tweet or post about how they do not want to see this on their timeline and that they shouldn’t be posting this in the open to the world because it effects their mental health. They want to have a timeline free from their triggers and memories so they try to police what others may have said. This goes with differing opinions as well too. If someone thinks mental health is over played a lot, and someone has diagnosed problems, they feel the need to tell off the person with a differing opinion instead of taking this time to educate someone on the effects that one may have by posting opinions like that.

Spending too much time on Social Media, in my opinion, could be a major reason why some people have mental health struggles. Instead of taking time away when we feel down we go online where we are surrounded by things that can bring us down further, such as others success, images that make us feel sad, or whatever else we may encounter when browsing the web. The best thing I have done recently is trying to take time away from social media. I write on my laptop in the living room a lot and don’t nearly spend half as much time on the PC as I did before. My laptop is quite old so many tasks are not able to be performed on it. I simply use it to check twitter and discord and write these when I am feeling a free moment when my son is playing independently. I spend time in my books and writing things down for planners and schedules and what not. I love to hand write things and if I can do it offline then I will do it since I know if makes me feel a lot better or at ease with myself when I am away from the the online world.

Being diagnosed with a mental health issue does NOT make you a professional. That statement is bold, Yes, but it also couldn’t be more true. If you have Anxiety you are not a professional. If someone is reaching out for ideas or questions about this, sure you are able to put in your thoughts about it. But do not try to tell someone that their concerns are invalid because maybe they haven’t been diagnosed with it like you have, or that because they are experiencing things in a different way that they must not have the same diagnosis that you do because the illness presents itself different in you. This is not fair and can be extremely damaging to someone. Their feelings and thoughts are very much real to them even if you may not think so.

Regardless of what you have been diagnosed with or how well versed on a subject you might be when it comes to mental health, it still does not give you the excuse ever, to put others down. Poor behavior is not to be excused by poor mental health. That being said, if you do have a lapse in judgement and treat someone badly or try to put something out in the world to harm others, admit that. It may see hard and like a tough thing to do at the time. However the feeling you get when you admit this fault after the fact will be better and the payout worth while. On the flip side also, If someone has done something towards you, or something that was intentionally made to hurt you, take the high road. Block or mute someone, reach out privately about how you may have seen whatever happened in a not so clear way too. Sometimes others don’t realize what they are doing is hurtful, just as you may not realize what you have said to be hurtful either!

Do you know people who use mental health as a blanket excuse for poor behavior?
Do they try to police others on how to think or feel?
Have you found yourself in these situations before?

Let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

-StaySeeJ

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Valentine’s Day Commercialized?

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I think we can all agree that when it comes to holidays just about every single one is commercialized. From Christmas basically starting at the end of August before Halloween has even come and gone. To having diamonds and jewels promoted for holidays around romance too. But why is that? Why is a holiday such as Valentines day commercialized?

For me, growing up we did something for Valentines day in Canada. Whether that be when you are a young child frantically trying to write all the names of your classmates on a card to give on the day. And forgetting the paper so trying to guess them off. Or even telling your parents the day before that they aren’t done and stressing them out as well. Normally there was a little party with some treats and fun games too. Don’t forget finding the best cards that you didn’t think anyone else would have and giving your friends the ones that had the best picture or jokes on them too. Something that felt like ages to complete as a kid but really it may have taken a half an hour or 45 minutes of your time to do.

Fast forward to being an adult, you typically have 3 types of people who think about this particular holiday. You have the first group who goes all out, buys jewellery or gems or chocolate and candy or whatever else there is to buy on the holiday. Secondly you have people who absolutely despise the holiday. They think that is totally commercialized (And I guess they aren’t that wrong with that opinion) and they don’t partake in any of the types of things people do to celebrate it. Then you have a third group who really wings it and will celebrate but not in a bit way or they wont go all out but if someone they are with would like to celebrate or something then they will do that though. There really is no right or wrong way to celebrate any holiday it is just what you choose.

For me, I would like to say that I am a third group. I remember being a kid and my mom always did something special for us for Valentines day. She would give us a valentine in our bags which somehow we never seen her put in. She would normally give us some heart pencils or stickers or erasers and a few extra treats that day too. It was a really nice surprise that I think I will adopt and do once my son and perhaps future kids will look forward to. Heck, My mom even did this when I was in collage and away she would send something by mail with some candy and a card just that she was thinking of me.

As an adult, I still say I am in the third group. Since being with my boyfriend I more or less have gotten things that are a couples gift. If I remember correctly, the first Valentines day we were together I got us some chocolate and some candles and coloring books so we could just sit and chill and color. Nothing super expensive but something that we could do together and just relax. I even got some candy and chocolate too. I may have even gotten bubble bath but the tub in his apartment was so small I could have forgotten! Though I do like to at least get a card. For some reason I am really into cards. For what? I don’t know but they are a great memory and I have many many cards as well too. I think the art of picking out a card for someone and thinking of them as you read the saying or even adding your own means so much more than gifts. Even if I am flat broke I still will try to at least get a small gift or in the very least a card to celebrate it.

Now here is the question, Do I ever go a bit overboard? Sure. But it never is that much due to the fact that I cannot mentally justify why I would go into small debt for a holiday. If that were the case I feel like I would have to do the same for St Patricks day as well too or any of those smaller holidays. I will however if I am able to, I will more likely get decorations for the holiday to keep up for the month or the days surrounding the holidays instead. I do this especially with Easter too where I try to get certain things that can be used year after year. I guess it is my own way of justifying spending money on the holiday if I can grow the collection of decorations to be used every year.

Overall, and this goes with any holiday. Don’t ever make yourself go broke. Valentines day is a day to celebrate the love you have for other people, whether that be your spouse, or your children or even friends. It really is not work going into debt for. No holiday is worth going into debt for. If you have the means to do so, head out to any dollar store or dollar tree if you are American and get some things like my mom used to do for myself and my siblings. Sometimes the smallest of gestures can have such a huge impact on people. And if you are unable to do that, You can always make something from the heart! A piece of paper and a pencil can work wonders in making a card. It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy. Spending more money on things does not equal a better reaction! Remember that!

Is there anything that you can remember for Valentines day that you had happen as a child? Whether in school or something you had happen at home? Do you not celebrate it at all too?

Let me know in the comments below! I am curious to hear how different places celebrate Valentines Day.

-StaySeeJ

Why Tim Horton’s Sucks Now

Life, Opinion, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I think it is safe to say that most people in Canada or even some parts of the world knows what Tim Horton’s is. Tim’s would be the Dunkin Donuts equivalent to the United States, or even the Krispy Kremes of the United Kingdom. And whatever else you would consider a big chain coffee shop with pastry delights in them. Tim Horton’s is a coffee shop. Chances are if you live in Canada you can get to one within a 30 minute drive if not far far before. Some streets go as far as having a Tim Horton’s every so many blocks. In gas stations, stand alone, in malls or in other stores as a side spot too.

Photo by Ahmed Raza Khan Films on Pexels.com

I think one of the biggest issues that I have with Tim Horton’s, and I would say a lot of Canadians have the same issue, it is that the company is not even Canadian owned anymore. The company was sold to Burger King or Wendy’s or whatever have you but the company that every Canadian knew of is no longer the Canadian company that we once knew and loved. I would even beg the idea that the quality has gone down as well. Everything pre-made and packaged and bakers simply throw in the oven. Or at least that is the way it tastes, like it has come off a factory line. Not to mention the regular things people once loved like coffee and things have changed. People are reaching for the cheaper counter part at McDonald’s which need I mind you in the summer has the dollar menu for drinks as well too.

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My personal gripe with Tim Horton\s was when they took my beloved Cinnamon Donuts and Timbits off the menu. That was my all time favorite flavor of donut and they took it away. It was a flavor that I had known and loved from when I was a child to the moment they removed it from rotation. This particular item isn’t even out in particular seasons or anything they are just gone. Now I have not found a spot that has these items still but if there is a place out there I urge you PLEASE comment where and if I am ever around hopefully they have that there when I arrive. It was such a simple flavor where they have taken it off and have put on more complicated flavors such as Oreo. Do we really need an Oreo flavor baked good from Tim’s, I think not!

Photo by Erik Mclean on Pexels.com

Another memory of my childhood that has been gone and I am unable to find is the “Gingerbread Figure”. See how progressive Tim hortons used to be? And now what, Nothing! This was just as it explains, a gingerbread person with either just icing or icing and a harden sugar head. Sometimes it was based on holidays or a generic girl or boy person. It really depended. Sometimes it was cartoons of popular movies or kids shows or even just animals too. I always loved going with my grandparents to Tim Horton’s in the mornings when I stayed the night there and looking through the glass case at Tim’s to see that they had some made! I would choose this one every time. I would always pick off one of the legs and then the arms and then save the sugar head for last. I know this probably sounds super morbid then it really is but honestly I was a small child and it really isn’t that bad!

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I will say even though they have basically sold out the heart and soul of Canadians that they still do a lot for the country. Especially for the children. For the supporting minor hockey, the Timbits so to speak or their camp day and smile cookie day too. They continue to help our programs that are impacting the kids of the country’s lives daily and helping the art of sport be more accessible. And their camps that are including everyone no matter their abilities.

I’m sure, after I have tried to rip into the Tim’s you are asking yourself, Wow, Does she like anything there? I do actually. I enjoy having their iced coffee made with chocolate milk and I also enjoy having an Iced Capp also made with chocolate milk. Sometimes I don’t mind a sour cream glazed donut or a chocolate chip cookie, Only if they are chewy though! As far as anything else I really am not a fan of their bagels that i once loved. I avoid that. Tea biscuits cheese no ham or just plain are also good however microwaved with butter is how they are enjoyed best!

Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Even though they continue to do things that tick most people off. I probably will still enjoy their products here and there. I know it sounds cray why would you still go there when you have a lot of negative to say. I still enjoy some of their things, however if they were to change their iced capps that would be extremely hard for me to go there really. A major point we go there is because of their convenience. When I go for a road trip we always stop their first for their quick eats and coffee even if it doesn’t taste very good which is happening more often than not.

I am all for supporting Canadian shops however the more time passes they seem to be becoming less and less of what my memories are made of. Something that was a part of nearly every shift on my way there has become a few times a year. I just am not interested in going out especially with Covid let alone for their maybe okay tasting drinks. We have recently upgraded our home coffee in the previous year to a Nespresso and with the Cold Wave system that nearly instantly cools hot coffee, I would say that there really is no need.

Is there something that you really liked when you were younger from a restaurant or shop that has changed and you find yourself avoiding it

is it only known in your country or worldwide

Let me know as I am curious if anyone else has experienced this as well too!

When Are You Getting Married/Having Any Kids?

Hard Subjects, Life, Opinion, , , , , , , , , , , ,

As an adult, these are two of the most annoying questions I think I have ever heard in my life. Like many other I am sure hearing them can make you feel not very good about yourself. They may make you feel frustrated or angry. Or they may even make you feel sad also. Being the oldest out of my siblings and being the last to have a child and get married, it sucked to hear this. My boyfriend and I had just welcomed out first child in 2020 and that same year were together 10 years. No, we are not engaged either. However my brother who is a bit younger was married around 21 and had a step son and a daughter a few years later. My sister was also married fairly early and is also with 2 kids too. Hearing these questions were not a good feeling and to be fair near the end it was extremely frustrating and quite frankly made me angry.

People think asking these is harmless.  It’s not. Maybe a couple has decided against doing all of these. Maybe they have been actively trying to have a child for years and have been unsuccessful. Or perhaps they have had miscarriages and this is a reminder of that. Asking these questions is extremely personal. Not to mention if they have answered this for people multiple times prior chances are that they wont be changing their answer. Or they simply do not wish to tell you.

Since I was the last person to start a family out of my siblings and was with my boyfriend for a long time I got this question often. It sucked. It made me feel like I should be doing something in my life to please everyone. And that is not okay. I was waiting to have kids as was my boyfriend. We never wanted kids young so we could live our life. But the outside pressures and always being asked was something we didn’t like hearing year in year out multiple times. Near the end it made us angry like our last answer wasn’t good enough so the question being asked continuously was annoying. Our answer never changed. We always said soon or we always said yes, we planned on having kids. We never said that we didn’t want to have kids or a family with children. It was just that it wasn’t necessarily convenient for us. We liked to have the freedom of being able to do a little travel within the country and just leave out dog home. We liked being able to do a quick day trip around where-ever without thinking about packing up the car and children. We had no problem waiting for kids and that is exactly what we did. Our problem was with people who would want us to have children sooner based on their expectations of it. The comments we have heard was “We’ll you don’t want to be old having kids” or ” you want to see them have grand kids” Which was super frustrating to me because my mom had a previous child in the 80s whom passed away, however my 3 siblings and I were born when her and my dad were early 30’s. The exact same age I am now. I feel like there was this pressure because my younger siblings had their own families so young that I was being pushed to do the same thing.

As I am sure you can tell I am becoming the black sheep of the family as I have a child and am also not married. My boyfriend has no desire to get married however I know that some day I would like to be married and it never had to be before kids though. I always pictured being married after we were finished having children and they would all be a part of it. My brother had proposed to his now wife after knowing her for a brief period and her being there after he went away with the military. My sister was engaged to her now husband after they were together a few years and had knew one another in high school. I have told my boyfriend that yes, I do want an engagement ring on my finger. However I am not going to start planning or anything as that isn’t even on my radar in terms of things I want to plan. But eventually yes I would like it to happen. Comments from friends and family like “You aren’t even engaged yet!” or “You have a child before getting married?”. Honestly, My boyfriend and I had just celebrated a 10 year anniversary, I would like to think that we are going to be going pretty steady if we aren’t broken up now. Especially since I know i drove him crazy from quarantine also.

I think at the end of the day you have to be honest about your feelings with this to people who keep pestering you. If you want to never have kids. Say it. If marriage is not in your cards. Say it. There is no shame in not wanting to have kids or marriage.

If you’re someone who asks these questions. Stop. They are never the outcome you want and it can be extremely discouraging when you have someone pry into your life like this. You are doing more damage then good. If a person wants to get married or they want to have kids you will know eventually. And if you did ask these questions before once is more then enough.

Before closing out this sensitive subject, I asked my boyfriend what he thought. He said this: “I think these questions are the same as finances, religion or politics, you just don’t ask”. I never really considered this to be true when it comes to this question but thinking about it from this perspective I don’t think I could agree more. I know for me personally having this question asked so many times over the years I tend to never mention this unless the person has mentioned it before.

Are you guilty of asking this question?
Have you had is asked of you and felt not so pleasant afterwards?

Let me know in the comments below!

-StaySeeJ

Why Celebrity Bloggers Grind My Gears

Life, Opinion, , , , , , , , , , ,

Now, Before you say,
“BuT StAcEy ThEy ArE CeLeBrItIeS”
Yes. I understand. I follow quite a few of them on social medias and I have no problem with that, This is one of the only things that I find to be super annoying when I see a celebrity I follow do this.

It really grinds my gears when celebrities are posting promotional items and they are far beyond the price point for the average consumer.

There I said it. I absolutely hate it. For example:
I follow a hockey wife on Instagram. I enjoy a lot of her content from the little things she does with her kids and the time spent juggling between the USA and Canada. What really is annoying though is she will promote all of these things. Mind you, she never normally uses the “#Ad” but she will write in different promo codes for people to use. Which is great! But when looking at the price of things before they even have a discount, I quickly discovered that the discount code would MAYBE pay for taxes. She even had this natural baby and child care line. I thought, oh hey let me check this out, I am a mom now after all! So I went to check it out, It was even a Canadian company. Well, I nearly fell over. The products that they were promoting were a few hundred dollars and the very least was about 70$ per item. There was no way I could justify spending that type of money on skin care and what have you for my son. Considering we are currently a one income house hold with one of my goals for 2021 being to gain some sort of an income financially. Even if I achieve my goal of 250-500 dollars per month financially I don’t even think that I could justify buying those.

And before, People are sitting there and saying in the comments that these people can buy what they want and blah blah blah. I understand that these people have a family income of tens of thousands if not more per month. From endorsements, to salary, to sponsorships and whatever else they are doing to bring money in. I just am a firm believe that if you are in a position of influence like you are trying to market yourself to the average housewife then putting things only for the higher income houses is just not something I am personally interested in. It will make me un-follow someone quickly.

I think this also plays into marketing as well. If you want to make the public see yourself as a brand that is marketed towards the typical housewife who stays at home looking after kids and has business ventures coming and going from time to time, marketing yourself with products that the average woman cannot afford is tough. I say this as I think to myself often that if I was to have sponsorships or endorsements come my way, I would like to think if this blog were to blow up with thousands of people following myself that I would make sure I was able to appeal to the general person who is reading this. Not someone who is making a 6 figure income. I would make sure that even if I was making money that the person who is at house taking care of children relying on just one income would be able to afford a purchase with little saving if they wanted to do so.

Obviously get sponsors and get endorsements from who you want even if you are catering to readers who are in the higher income household. However I would have a lot more respect if these people also offered a cheaper alternative. I see this a lot with clothing and it is one thing I do enjoy about the blog of this particular celebrity wife. I think it is great that they show a type of clothing that they have gotten and the cheaper price tag, or if people show an interest they even post the original and a knock off piece that looks the same. This is a great thing to see when influencers are trying to appeal to everyone.

Another thing that grinds my gears is a lot of these celebrity bloggers want to appeal to the general population. not other celebrities. I understand that they want to look professional as a blogger. I know I do. However, when they put photos on their blogs, they have perfect makeup, clothes, children, hair has not one strand in a different place. It is obvious that there is professional photography and sometimes they even mention it as well about having a photo shoot that day. The reality is that there is no perfect day. I know I am starting to try to include photos about my blog and relating to the posts however I know for a fact if I ever start taking photos that are perfect looking rest assured that I have not gotten a photographer. Not to mention my boyfriend has a pretty decent camera so if for some reason my phone camera photos are not good enough then I will start to ask him to take these photos.

Before I finish this, Don’t get me wrong. Whatever pays the bills you do it. But if you are a celebrity and you are trying to have this fake face about marketing to the population that is a lower income or a “normal” household than do so! If you want to market to fellow celebrities, DO THAT TOO! It just is extremely disheartening when you are looking at a celebrity who is claiming to be down to earth and living a “normal” affordable lifestyle and when you click on the product you would like to purchase with their discount code of affiliate link only to find the product so over priced that you no longer can afford it. It really makes you feel bad when you cant do something you had a little bit of excitement for.

If you could have any sponsorship or endorsement what would it be?
Is there any you would avoid? Or know that you would decline?

Let me know in the comments below!

-StaySeeJ