Tag Archives: real life

The 2 Hardest Things About Parenting

I am sure that there are other hard things and I wouldn’t necessarily say these are “hard” but I would say they can be the most frustrating. These are the types of things that all of your parent friends have barely even touched the surface about parenting when they are telling you tips and tricks about raising a child. I will also like to point out, When you decide or if you decide to have a family, ANYONE will try to give you advice on how to raise that child. Whether it be family or friends who have had kids, or whether it be people you know who don’t even have kids. There will always be someone out there who is going to try to tell you the “Right” way to do things. The best thing I can say is this, If someone tries to do this with unsolicited advice. Listen. Because you never know if it will in fact help you or be something new. That being said. Them telling you this does not mean you HAVE to listen to them. Just know that basically when you have a child anyone and everyone will want to throw their 2 cents into the mix.

Trying new things is extremely challenging. Especially when it comes to foods. I know my boyfriend and I are so scared to try new foods with my son mostly because he has yet to have teeth at the time of writing this (Approx 9 and a half months old/Ill add an update after this paragraph depending on when I release this!) We are starting to do more lumpy and not pureed food but out doctor basically panicked us into thinking he MUST have different foods or else our son will be so far behind. I think as parents we over react to many things and when we thought about it we really aren’t doing that wrong by this. our son has eaten rice with hamburger and tomato sauce, he has eaten bananas as well too mushed up, or even peas or blueberry pieces. We immediately felt like we were doing a total disservice to our son when really we were doing okay! Trying new things with your baby or child is terrifying but it has to be done. If you really research it though and go for it then you will be fine with finding the right way for you and your family!

Knowing when to change routine is also challenging. You are taught so often that you should be trying to keep things on a schedule. As hard as that may be when you have a new born you still need to try. For us we typically are up at 5am right now (Though remember I pre-write blogs so I will update with a ** when I re-read before publishing this!) and he goes to bed anywhere from 630pm to 7pm. He also is now currently on a 2 nap maybe the odd day a 3rd nap if one of the other two were shorter. this goes with particular things. When it comes to how much food to give your child for example. Maybe you started like us with 2 ice cubes of puree. As he grew we went to 3 and now for some meals we give him 4 cubes of food. Knowing when to change your routine is good. Even if you are just trying to play with some element of it to try to better how it goes. Nothing feels better then at the end of the day you can stand back and think how smoothly it went. And nothing is more exhausting then when you are struggling to get through a day where everything seems to be out of wack.

Okay, I lied. The last thing is keeping it simple. I have been guilty of this more times than I like to admit. Picture this, Your child is in bed and they start stirring and fussing. You go in try everything. You console them, leave, try the cry it out a bit, try a soother, try a cuddle, change pajamas, change sleep sack, turn on white noise, turn off again. turn on a night light, turn off again. Check that his diaper is clean 3 times just to be sure because you are seriously wondering what the problem here is. Only to realize that if you cuddled and walked with your child for a little and patted his back that you would hear a little burp and easily back to sleep again. I’ve been there and I am sure many of us have. Sometimes the most simple things are the easiest to overcome. Remember when I mentioned before that I had the air conditioning on in our bedroom and my son had his door open in the summer? So the noise of the AC was there and when fall and winter swung around we obviously removed it, only to wonder if his sleep habits were out of wack due to the fact that it was too quiet? Right, If you can remember keep it simple it will save you a lot of head and heart ache trying to wrap your brain around things that are happening in your life and your child’s too.

Those are my thoughts, right there! As you can probably guess if you were to ask me to re-do this blog in a few months time that I will probably have even more to add or even change about being a parent. So often we think it looks easy when people have everything together on the outside but on the inside things are challenging. Being a parent is by far the hardest job I have ever had to do where I just go through the motions and try to push down feelings of self doubt. I need to remind myself that even though things get hard I am a great mom and hope to be lucky enough to be a mom again, and again!

What do you find challenging about parenthood? Are they different than mine? Or are they the same?

Let me know in the comments below!


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Weight Loss Wednesday #1 – Jan 14th-Jan 20th[6 Days]

I need to be held accountable. Simple as that.

I have decided to do so, I will be bringing you along the weight loss journey. We recently have gotten AMAZING News about moving back to my home province so that means weight loss before baby number 2. And I mean I have to hammer down NOW! I will be writing blogs every other Wednesday til about June or so when we move. Every 2 weeks I will update (with pictures!!)

Three criteria: Days I smoked weed, Days I exercised, and Days under calories (Max 1500). Along with triumphs and struggles, and updated side and front photos too. Normally I pick subjects and write about them and if they become relevant schedule them or write about a current subject as it pops up. Not this time. Chances are you are reading this blog and it was written last night. I will have photos of calendars that I will be filling out to see things easier and an overview of how I am doing. I wont be typing up what exactly I eat in a day as I do not have the time to do that but this will be a good overview for all you visual readers! Simple “X” Day’s mean that I failed at the calendar’s goals. While if I pass I will briefly fill it in. If I am under my calories I will Highlight it with a marker, if I don’t smoke weed it will be colored in, and if I exercise I will briefly write it in ie: Elliptical 40 mins, Exercise DVD, etc. and I will write a reflection on each calendar and then a brief spot after for my struggles and victories of the week!

If you are someone who is familiar with my blogs you know that I struggle with weight loss, I have most of my life and recently wrote about it too, You can read that blog here.

My low goal is to lose 30lbs before we move. Which is no over-reaching. If I lose anywhere from 30-50lbs that would be a major bonus for me. My starting weight is 242.4lbs. I know. I feel like a whale and need to take control of myself again. The goal before baby number 2 is cooking in there is under 210lbs. It is totally doable I just need to hammer down and stop eating my feelings, good and bad.

These are my before photos. I am unhappy. I hate how I look. And I am ready to be healthy once and for all. My current weight in these photos (Taken on Friday, January 15th, 2021) 242.4lbs. I feel like even if I was to drop below 210lbs that would be a huge accomplishment for me.
Measurements are:
Waist -47.0 Inches
Hips- 54.0 Inches
Bust – Over – 46.0 Inches
– Under – 39.5 Inches
Thighs – Left – 30.5 Inches
-Right – 30.0 Inches
Arms – Left – 13.5 Inches
– Right – 14.5 Inches

I always do measurements only because I know sometimes I haven’t lost really any pounds and I have lost inches and that is a little extra motivator!

Exercise Log

No description available.
Any exercise is good, but ideal would be a Workout DVD or 40 minute Elliptical workout!

Obviously I need to majorly up this. However I find that I struggle if my son doesn’t sleep very well during the day. That being said my next goal for the following 2 weeks is to workout 8 days out of 14. That would be every other day or any day I don’t stream. Which is doable since I can do it once he (my son) falls asleep at night. If his dad is off in the afternoon or only has to go in for the afternoon then I will be doing a workout while he is home. Unless I have a feeling my son will have an extra long nap then I will try to get the 40 minute Elliptical workout there!

Under Calories

No description available.
Check with a ? Means that I assume close or under, but I ate something I’m not entirely sure what the calories were as I couldn’t find anything with the exact number.

Again. You can probably see this as being a direct result of me smoking weed and munching out. The goal is to have 10/14 days under calories in the next 2 weeks. If I need to go to bed early after I make my Son’s bottles are made for the following day so be it. But I need to stop the late night snacking and munching because working out doesn’t mean a free pass to eating as much as someone at an all you can eat buffet.

Days Smoked Weed

No description available.
X = For sure smoked a joint that day.. LOL

This is also obviously a problem as well too. When I do so well during the day time I completely ruin it at night by smoking and munching on so many calories in such a small amount of time. My goal ultimately is to smoke weed MAXIMUM of 4 evenings. My goal is to only smoke on Saturday’s however there is an occasional day through the week where I would like to smoke it will be before a bath or bed so I am away from the kitchen!


Weed is a constant struggle for me. Would I say I am addicted? No. Would I say I love getting high. Yes. But if I am going to lose weight I need to really cut back. My goal for the next 2 weeks is to smoke no more than 4 days in 14. I smoke at night when my son goes to bed but I need to cut back. And if I need to switch work outs to as soon as he goes to sleep to get there that is what I will have to do! Getting into the habit is hard for me because with being in quarantine I am unable to do anything. However I need to focus and really have some self discipline and not give in to temptations.


The fact that I worked out I would consider a victory for me. Working out normally is not a huge problem for me but to be able to do a few days instead of none is also great. Another would be that I do have some under calorie days which again, would be considered a victory for me.


I know I can lose weight. I have done it before. I feel extremely nervous though sharing everything about me physically and basically opening myself up to you all. I think it is a way for me to be held accountable though and I am looking forward to where it takes me. I hope if you are reading this and made it here that you know that you are not alone in this. You can do it and even if you have a bad day it doesn’t mean all of your progress is gone!


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When I First Smoked Weed

Before I get into this remember.
If you are in a place where weed is ILLEGAL please please please do not smoke/eat/dabble in this. You can get in trouble depending on the laws that you have. I live in Canada and though it might be legal now at one point it as not. Laws are there to abide by and not to break .. If you know what I’m saying. So if you are thinking this is a way for me to endorse smoking up before you are of legal age in the country or state or province that you live in that is not the case here. Use your brain, seriously!

The first time I smoked weed was when I was 16 years old. I know, I know I basically broke the whole first paragraph of this blog post but I think the story will be HILARIOUS and well worth it. I do not recommend if you are this age to start smoking weed. If you were to ask me why I started or what promoted me. Honestly, I have no idea. It just happened. You could say it was a bit of peer pressure and I felt like being new to high school I wanted to fit in somewhere and well why not try being a stoner, everyone likes stoners!

One day after school I had headed down to a person I had just met, Andrew. Well I mean he was new to my school so I had talked to him and we were friends but it was just when the year started. Nothing like Junior high or whatever friends. I never met his Mom before but as soon as I got there he said he kind of wanted to get high. Now, me being SUPER naive I was like Oh.. How and do you have any? His mom grew this little weakling of a plant that he took some from. It obviously wasn’t dried or anything and was tough to smoke but it did the job. I remember us jamming to some Eazy-E remix of How we do. Then there was the “smokers” from my school who popped over to his house. It was a bit awkward for sure since I never hung around with that crowd but they came up for a bit and left. To be fair I am pretty sure we even SMOKED IN THE HOUSE! Like honestly, what was I thinking ?! But here we are.

Now some time has passed. How much I don’t know. I think my mom was working til 8pm. Well, We got a SURPRISE. His Uncle showed up!! Here is the kicker though. My mom did this “stitch” night every Tuesday and there was a woman there who she knew and she also bowled with her every week too. My friend Andrew’s Uncle was HER HUSBAND! So he totally knew who I was! And I don’t mean he was like someone who MIGHT know who I was, I mean he knew. We used to go to their house because they had train tracks behind their house and a lake so we would walk down and then we would swim to the dock for a bit while my mom and her would talk on the shore line. Like this was not a friend who randomly we would see my mom would catch up and that was it for another year. I mean she seen her once if not twice a week REGULARLY for a very very long time!

As you can imagine this has now become one of my worst nightmares and worst fears. He starts calling me by my name. Questioning me. Now there was a lot of times I lied to my parents for harmless things. This was one of the first times so I was completely unprepared. Not to mention thrown off guard as well. His uncle asked “Why was there smoke and it smelled like weed in here”. Andrew was a pro and simply said that the people who stopped over for a visit was smoking it and it wasn’t us. I don’t think he believed us for a second. I kind of went along with Andrew with whatever he said even if it wasn’t believable one bit. Then his uncle said I should call my mom. Which I did stupidly. I should have walked home. The worst part is that he basically knew who I was before I knew who he was! Due to the fact he was normally working whenever we would visit his wife.

Once my mom picked me up it was extremely awkward the drive home. She questioned me the entire time. ARE YOU HIGH? DID YOU SMOKE WEED? I said the same thing, I never smoked any but he had friends who had come over and did smoke some. Obviously I smelled like it so there really was no denying that part of anything. She then questioned why I was stumbling over my words and stuttering and had dry mouth. Again, This was my FIRST TIME smoking weed so I was in no means a professional that I am today not to mention I never knew the side effects either! Once we got home I think i went to my room and stayed there. I couldn’t even tell you if I did anything else, Maybe I had a shower? Maybe I went to bed? I really don’t remember that part anymore!

So there you have it, The first time I smoked weed. You would think something like that would completely turn me off from smoking since I legit almost or kind of got caught smoking but it didn’t. I just became more secretive and was better at lying. I didn’t see it as a problem as I was never lying to hurt anyone and I wasn’t always flat out lying, I just was dancing around the truth really! Instead of going to a basketball game for the school one night I would be going with a friend to smoke weed in the park.