It has been far too long since I gave you all a self care Thursday and update. But we are back.

Just like life, when my mental health is in decline, things I did as a routine are lost. This blog weekly is one of them. I skipped a week a while back. Came back for what I believe was one week. And then disappeared. For you, my faithful readers who like and comment on these, I am sorry. Sometimes when things arise in life I put things on pause. I often feel overwhelmed and I often feel lost or have no drive to write. This is one of those times. There is a reason I often say that I write blogs in bulk. I have ideas and thoughts and I continuously try to write them in those moments and schedule them so it leaves me with free time. If I was to write my 3 sometimes 4 times per week blogs the day before I released then chances are I would be missing far more than I am now with the weekly posts.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

We are in week 6 of the weight loss challenge and while I am down 4lbs overall I am still struggling at night. I can do fantastic all day and as soon as I smoke at night my restraint from eating pointless junk literally goes away. I need to work on that even more. So for the month of June I have set myself a goal to be under 230 pounds. It is achievable and totally do-able. When I reach this I will be under the weight I was when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st son. So that is a very very long time ago. I have also started to not smoke so much during the day. When I smoke during the day I find that I am dragging my butt along and well, I need to get stuff done! That is a fact! So by not smoking during the day (most of the time) it has been a huge help. I am actually getting back on track right now by not smoking during the day and taking the time to actually schedule and write these. I am hoping to have the summer fully scheduled due to my partner being on parental.

Streams have been going great. I am super happy with my stats for May. In fact, I streamed the most I have since maybe 2020 in a month. It may not seem like a lot but it was certainy a lot for me. Did I miss a few streams, Yup. Was there a few streams that were shorter than they should have been, Yup. But I stuck to my schedule and mainly streamed when I was able to and that in itself was a major win for me.

One thing that has helped me get back on track is that I have actually been asking for help. If you are a parent or even a person like myself who wants to do everything themselves (I know, maybe I am a bit of a control freak and want things done my way) I never ask for help. I changed that. Just a few days ago I told my spouse that I was incredibly tired. My youngest has been awake and is on the verge of teething. I have been trying to get up when the late nights or should I say early mornings happen so he can sleep and for me it is extremely hard to get back to sleep. He was awake at 3am one night and I put his soother back and turned on his crib fish tank. I myself never went back to sleep till after 4am which then he was awake already at 5am or something but I brought him to our bed (I know breaking my own co-sleeping rules) and slept a little longer. And because I have been so tired I had a tension headache or whatever you want to call it. I told my spouse that I wanted to sleep in. So I prepped my youngest and got him ready with his bottle and that is exactly what I did. I went back to sleep. This is a huge thing for me to do because I would rather suffer it out than put the energy into asking for help. It makes me feel defeated but I need to remember that I can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.

There you have it! I am fully ready to be back, check in weekly, and hopefully you are still following along on the journey too!