Tag Archives: The struggles of a working mom

Things I Do to Workout

I do virtually nothing. Just kidding. There are some things that I do when it comes to working out. That being said, with two kids and being a stay at home mom I do need to be creative. That includes not having a Gym membership. Let’s face it. There would be no way for me to actually get to the Gym. And I dont feel confident leaving my kids with someone even if they had some sort of day care set up either. And by the end of the day I dont feel like going anywhere.

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One thing I did invest in was an elliptical at home. I actually hated the idea of even using one. Until one day a coworker and I went to the gym (this was many moons ago pre kids) and I absolutely loves it. Before then I was about the treadmill and I didn’t even bat an eye at the elliptical . This is more of an expensive investment and unless you are committing to working out with it (which I am guilty of not doing on more than one occasion) it becomes an expensive space saver in your home or the even popular laundry rack. I love the elliptical due to the type of workout that you can do with it by changing resistances and speed and goals.

Now for the inexpensive things. A yoga mat is something I have had for years not just to be used with yoga. It is great to help when you are doing floor exercises and things of that nature too. It is something I use when I am trying to get i to a routine of working out. Along with this is a set of hand weights . Since I am a pretty big rookie I only have 5lb ones but there are plenty of different sizes that you can purchase and use as you go along on your journey. These are just the ones that I use. Eventually I will be going up to heavier weights but for now I dont need to!

Finally. And I know before you even say it. Yes. I am sure that you could find things on YouTube for working out in terms of videos. I also use YouTube for that. However it is nice to have a few DVDs to have on hand just in case you might be traveling, no internet when you workout, etc. I personally have the Zumba DVD and the Jillian Michael’s AB DVD and her Shred one too. If I am working out I dont mind supporting the creators of these workouts. They put the time an energy into it so I feel like supporting them is a great way to keep them doing what they love and obviously I love using.

One thing I really would like to try is to actually walking. I’m hoping in the summer to be going for a walk every day (weather permitted) every morning after breakfast. It shouldn’t be too hot yet for my son’s and it will be a great time for us to get some fresh air and exercise. On our deck we have a covered spot and that is great for the afternoons and out little kiddie pool because it is out of the sun. Plus by that time it is far too hot to go out in the direct sun and our walks there is no guarantee there wont be any!

I think a big misconception is that people think they need to spend thousands and thousands on the biggest equipment phase to get in shape. The bottom line is unless you are motivated there is nothing you can buy to MAKE you work out. You have to have that drive to begin with!

What I Do To Not Over Eat

Before I really get into it I want to start by saying, what I say that I will do to not over eat and what I actually do are two different things. This is a list that I have written down in my calorie counting book that you can read more about here. I write this down so that way I can be reminded that I dont have to fill my boredom with eating and if I am bored there are plenty of other ways to occupy my mind or to not stuff my mouth with food while doing literally nothing else.

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Self care is a big motivator for me when it comes to trying to not over eat especially at night. Now that my two sons are sleeping pretty well I have more things that I can be doing with my spare time. This can include taking a nice warm bath. This is something I do when my partner is home because of the sheer fact if I do it when I am here with the boys I know that one of them will be awake and I will be in and out of the tub to tend to to them. Self care can be many things too. On my list I have paint my nails. This is normally a time consuming activity so it can be challenging at best but it certainly is a choice between eating a total of 3 bowls of chips or taking time to paint your nails so they are nice and fresh and making you feel good in a totally different way instead of filling that feel good space with food. This could be finger nails or even toe nails. Anything to do with this area I need to do more.

Another kind of group that I add to my list of things to do in order to occupy my hands and not pig out on junk food particularly at night would be things to do with my “work”. As many of you know I dont work as in, I dont get paid (Yet!) for doing things. But writing is something that I have really took a dive into. Whether that be sitting on the couch and typing up blogs on my cell phone or maybe sitting on the computer and typing up some poems and things. Maybe I am even writing in my calorie counting book pre-writing the pages like I talk more about here. Even writing poems and getting a jump start on things is huge for me. I also need to start dabbling more into drawing and illustrating like I did when I was younger.

Then there is the BORING parts of the list that I have there. This could be as simple as trying to cleaning a specific thing in the house I may have not done in a while. Maybe it has to do with cleaning a particular room instead. Doing something like this often leads, at least for me, the moment of wanting to snack and munch out on food to pass fast. I tend to try to stick to this when I have nothing else better to do or maybe planning a party of some sorts and this is my way to power clean. Barely do I ever do this at night though I sent to do this more so in the day time especially when my sons are napping because I have such a limited amount of time.

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One thing that isn’t on the list that I will be doing regularly though is brushing my teeth early in the evenings. Especially if I smoke weed that night also too. We all know how I struggle with the munchies but for some reason brushing my teeth changed something in my head that made me not want to eat. Does that mean I never had the thoughts to much out? No. I for sure had moments where I was wanting some sort of snack however I also said to myself that I already brushed my teeth so why would I “ruin” it by eating something and then having to re-brush them.

And finally, though this is not on the list. It helps when I want to avoid over snacking or even snacking in general if I can sit there and half visualize and prepare myself for the day or evening ahead. I never limit myself when trying to lose weight instead I try to follow portion controls, counting the calories, and then trying to prep for the junk food I do want. Instead of taking a bowl of ice cream I will actually measure it out into the proper serving and most times eat it out of the measuring cup. I also plan the day around the calories I am snacking on also. If I want to snack on a chocolate bar then I would make sure I ate well during the day so that I dont over eat in the evenings.

All these little changes have been helpful. The hardest part is trying to get into the habit of doing these instead of reaching for something to put in my mouth. Get your minds out of the gutter! Hopefully on the bi-weekly checks I can get that under control!

I needed a break – Self Care Thursday – June 2nd 2022

It has been far too long since I gave you all a self care Thursday and update. But we are back.

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Just like life, when my mental health is in decline, things I did as a routine are lost. This blog weekly is one of them. I skipped a week a while back. Came back for what I believe was one week. And then disappeared. For you, my faithful readers who like and comment on these, I am sorry. Sometimes when things arise in life I put things on pause. I often feel overwhelmed and I often feel lost or have no drive to write. This is one of those times. There is a reason I often say that I write blogs in bulk. I have ideas and thoughts and I continuously try to write them in those moments and schedule them so it leaves me with free time. If I was to write my 3 sometimes 4 times per week blogs the day before I released then chances are I would be missing far more than I am now with the weekly posts.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

We are in week 6 of the weight loss challenge and while I am down 4lbs overall I am still struggling at night. I can do fantastic all day and as soon as I smoke at night my restraint from eating pointless junk literally goes away. I need to work on that even more. So for the month of June I have set myself a goal to be under 230 pounds. It is achievable and totally do-able. When I reach this I will be under the weight I was when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st son. So that is a very very long time ago. I have also started to not smoke so much during the day. When I smoke during the day I find that I am dragging my butt along and well, I need to get stuff done! That is a fact! So by not smoking during the day (most of the time) it has been a huge help. I am actually getting back on track right now by not smoking during the day and taking the time to actually schedule and write these. I am hoping to have the summer fully scheduled due to my partner being on parental.

Streams have been going great. I am super happy with my stats for May. In fact, I streamed the most I have since maybe 2020 in a month. It may not seem like a lot but it was certainy a lot for me. Did I miss a few streams, Yup. Was there a few streams that were shorter than they should have been, Yup. But I stuck to my schedule and mainly streamed when I was able to and that in itself was a major win for me.

One thing that has helped me get back on track is that I have actually been asking for help. If you are a parent or even a person like myself who wants to do everything themselves (I know, maybe I am a bit of a control freak and want things done my way) I never ask for help. I changed that. Just a few days ago I told my spouse that I was incredibly tired. My youngest has been awake and is on the verge of teething. I have been trying to get up when the late nights or should I say early mornings happen so he can sleep and for me it is extremely hard to get back to sleep. He was awake at 3am one night and I put his soother back and turned on his crib fish tank. I myself never went back to sleep till after 4am which then he was awake already at 5am or something but I brought him to our bed (I know breaking my own co-sleeping rules) and slept a little longer. And because I have been so tired I had a tension headache or whatever you want to call it. I told my spouse that I wanted to sleep in. So I prepped my youngest and got him ready with his bottle and that is exactly what I did. I went back to sleep. This is a huge thing for me to do because I would rather suffer it out than put the energy into asking for help. It makes me feel defeated but I need to remember that I can’t keep burning the candle at both ends.

There you have it! I am fully ready to be back, check in weekly, and hopefully you are still following along on the journey too!

I feel alright! – Self Care Thursday – March 10th/2022

I am actually trying to get ahead if the weekly check in this week. Who am I?

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I would say this week has been okay. I have snacked a bit but that is alright. As I have mentioned before I am not trying ti limit my snacking. Unless I am high if course! I am nearly trying to watch portions as well as the times that I snack. I still find myself snacking at night which is something I need to work on though. I need to really focus on doing something productive at night. Maybe write some more poems or maybe write in some blogs. Even crafting would be better however I am waiting on my ceiling lamp though in order to get that going. Crafting in the dark has not been great and I don’t want to get myself a headache basically. I already wear glasses and trying to get sewing happening will be a lot!

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

Working out has been going okay. I have been absolutely loving these Walk it off workout DvDs that I watch on YouTube.  They are with Leslie Sansone. They are super easy. Require no weights. And I can do them right in my house. Obviously as weather does warm up I will be doing actual walks outside however right now I am loving these. And they are easy to follow along which makes it also nice. I will probably continue to do these til I am either bored of them or find myself in a plateau. I really enjoy the moves not being incredibly hard. Right now I find myself struggling on weekends which I need to just do it. I get lazy and slack but I need to stop making excuses. I have been trying to do a solid 45 minutes which some days has it’s challenges when both kids are supposed to be napping and my youngest is above that apparently.

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Weed has been alright also. As much as I love my midday roach I have only been having a puff in the daytime on weekends and that has been helping tremendously. A big problem with me smoking in the day is that I munch in the afternoon AND in the night. That needed to stop. That ended up me munching the entire day and well, I just cant do that. Smoking at night only would be perfect if I can just stop the munching all together.

Weight has been slowly coming off also. I have seen under 240lbs more in the last week than I have in a few years. I hate that I focus so much on a number but I really cant help it. It is one of the only ways that I can physically see how I am doing on the scale. Seeing the number go down is such a great feeling however I need to constantly remind myself to stop letting myself feel comfortable when it happens. A big issue for me and the scale is as soon as I see it go down I feel like I need to reward myself with food and that is so beyond true that the reminders even then are tricky to remember. I do not need a treat or snack because the number is going down. I need to remember that I am doing a great job and food should not be a reinforcement of that.

Mentally I feel pretty good. I have been really focusing on planning things for my poetry collections. Trying to do graphics and things that will help promote myself as a poet and the free ebook also to grow my subscriber lists. Right now I have 17 people which is pretty huge. I need to keep going and promoting that also too. I would like to email my old contacts from an MLM company that I used to work for. That would be huge in itself if I was to do that. And if people subscribe they subscribe if they don’t no worries! Focusing my energy on different things instead has been helping. I have a new project for my mantel also too. Will it turn out? Who knows! Now for the real test. I got grocery’s yesterday and I need to figure out how not to eat all the junk at once !

Why I Decided Not to Work While Raising Children

Before I begin, I want to make it clear that I do understand that in some families do not have the option to not work when it comes to raising a family. They may have debt or bills to pay or they may even just like the idea of working in general. There are various reasons why some families decide to have two working parents. There is no right or wrong way for this, this is simply my opinion and reasoning why my spouse and I decided not to send me back to work, just yet! There is no right or wrong way to raising children especially if you decide to go to work or you want to be a stay at home parent too.

Growing up my Mom was a stay at home mom. My dad used to lay floors when we were younger, and as we got older he took his long haul trucking course. Eventually my mom would start watching a few kids from people she knew, she watched a brother and a sister for many years and than another little boy after they had moved away. This was her way of making some extra money on the side. She also would do little crafts, hemming clothes for people, and knitting and crocheting various items to sell also through friends and family. Once we were old enough and teenagers she did start working in a vet hospital and we were left to fend for ourselves. Just kidding, we were just fine! If I could give an age I would say this was when we were in junior high. She was no longer needed to babysit the last little guy she had and she was given this opportunity to work she took it. Can you blame her? I would have too!

Growing up I liked the fact that my mom was home with us. It made things easier. We never stayed at school for lunches we came home. She had lunch ready and we walked back and forth. It was nice to know that a hot lunch was waiting there for us. If we were sick at school or something happened she was available and able to pick us up if needed too. It was really convenient especially since my dad had to go away during the week for both of the jobs that he did when we were growing up. Having a parent home was a good feeling and I want my kids to also feel that too.

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Another reason why we decided that I would not be going back to work is we would like to have 3 kids. To put 3 kids in daycare right now with the cost of everything is quite expensive. Due to my partner and his annual income I don’t believe we would be able to get a subsidy for child care. Not to mention, in my previous jobs that you can read about in this blog here, I worked with disabled adults in their homes. This was shift work and over nights and weekends. My spouse has a job where he could be away for weeks or even months and for me to work those kind of hours and paying any type of childcare would just not be practical. In order for me to do the 9-5 hours I would need to continuously work with a company for a very very long time and even still people don’t get those type of hours. Plus, my mom currently works in a hospital during the day time and my dad is only off 2 days per week. I cannot rely on them to watch my kids for me to work. And paying premium hours for someone else to watch them really doesn’t make sense not to mention finding someone to do it would be a feat on it’s own. If I was to get a smaller job for minimum wage I would also essentially be paying for childcare. The profit that I would be making in terms of paying for childcare and whatever is left just does not make any sense in the big picture.

Another primary reason why I am not working is that when my boyfriend and I decided to have children, we wanted to raise them. We did not want to have to rely on someone else or daycare to raise them. It is so simple to have children and go back to work and pick your children up at the end of the day. We wanted to be a constant in our children’s lives. Especially with their dad having to travel for his job also we did not want to have him away and then myself also gone. We wanted one of us to be home and able to teach and watch our kids grow. It just made complete sense to us to have it this way.

This being said, will I ever go back to work? I am hoping to have some sort of business started as a work from home type of deal. That way I can stay home and still have a small income to save money or help a little with bills too. If all else fails eventually when we are done having children and they are all in school I would look at maybe doing what my mom did with babysitting a child or two, or maybe even working mornings somewhere. There is going to be a time when I end up going back to work. As. Ice as it sometimes can be sitting home and relaxing with my little ones, I do miss having an income from working and some independence and a pay cheque. Even a few hundred a month could be huge for me in getting back to helping out. But, again, I am in by no means a rush to leave them and start working again!

Was this a hard decision that you had to make when deciding to go back to work or staying at home?

Have you thought about this decision before or after having children?

Let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear your experience also!