Category Archives: Parenting

Wish People Said About Birth/Pregnancy – Part 1

Before I begin, I want to say this is something that I had asked the people on the app “Peanut”. This is an app where mothers sign up and can meet other moms around their towns and essentially become friends and hang out (Not a sponsor). However for me I felt it was far too overwhelming and in typical fashion I stopped using the app. I did however ask a question to the community, that question was “What is something you wish people told you about pregnancy or birth”. These are some responses and once the other parts become active I will be posting them below with links. And you are more than welcome to check them out yourself too!

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What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 2
What do you wish people told you about pregnancy and birth Part 3

Breast feeding hurts is something that popped up a few times. You guys may know my stance on breast feeding in terms that I formula feed my son and did the same for my first. I breastfed for 3 days with my first child and it was not for me. When you look at movies and things you always assumed that breastfeeding was this easy thing and any parent loves to do it. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It is something that you have to literally teach yourself. And before anyone says, “maybe it hurts because of latch problems blah blah blah” it does not have to be physical hurt. I wrote a blog about normalizing formula feeding that you can read here before we often forget the mental strain of stopping the breastfeeding journey due to guilt society and other mom’s put on others.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!


Another mention someone had said was postpartum anxiety. Anyone hear the phantom crying? I know for us, my spouse and myself felt this with our first. I will also mention that the second child we had these anxieties seems to feel a bit more relaxed, maybe because we know that we have the skills needed to raise human however it doesn’t change how it felt for our first. These would be the anxiety’s that you have with your children, often times they are irrational and don’t even really make sense however they are important to note that there is a lot of anxiety after the birth of your baby. Feeling these are completely normal and if you feel like it may be something that is excessive you should reach out to a health care provider to validate those feelings and work through them as they can be hard to work through.



The physical recovery, not during child birth. I know for me I am completely guilty of this. I totally slipped my mind the use of pads and things after giving birth and only did it click when I was having my first son and a friend had given birth a few months prior had given me their heavy duty pads they used and no longer needed. I know sounds completely dumb to forget that but I never even thought about bleeding even though it made sense. That being said there is multiple types of recover. I have had the no medication birth with my first and a vaginal delivery which you can read about here. I also have had a c-section birth that I talk about here with my second child too that you can read about here. But no one prepares you for how challenging it can be to have either birth. If I had to pick I would say the c-section was the harder birth due to the fact you legit had a major surgery. I am really hoping that our last and third child when the time comes is a vaginal birth and NOT a c-section however it it happens the only thing saving me mentally is that it will be the last c-section that I ever have. The physical pain you go through, even a vaginal birth with no tearing having to walk up stairs after arriving home was so challenging holy smokes. I never even thought of that either!

Breastfeeding is not birth control. I know a few people who learned this the hard way. And based on the people commenting on this answer there was a lot of others who found that out also. Though breast feeding may delay your period and what not, it still can not be used as a contraceptive. Unless you are on birth control or using controls, if a man ejaculates inside of you there is a strong change that you could be pregnant from this. This also goes for the “having sex before 6 weeks” and you may not get pregnant. False. There is a reason why you are told to wait 6 weeks and that is due to your body healing. Saying breastfeeding is a way to prevent pregnancy is not a solid one and you may find yourself playing with fire and having a little surprise bundle in 9 months time too.

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Milestone obsessions is something that is very real and I again feel like having multiple kids does ease this up. When you have one child you become obsessed with milestones. Are they crawling on time? Rolling? Walking or standing? The fact is the spectrum is so broad that your child may be doing one or all things at once and there is no really right or wrong way. Use the milestones as a guideline but there is no need to panic if they aren’t hitting everything that they need to be at the time. It is also important to note that if a few milestones are missing at one age they may catch up and have multiple milestones happening at other ages though. Sometimes milestones are grouped up and they aren’t as spread out for people.

As you can see there is multiple things that may seem pretty obvious to others however this is not the case. This is something that maybe by writing these out a new parent may know before the situation arises! And if you are pumped to read this I can’t wait for you to read the other ones when they come out too!

Surreal Feeling of Parenting

If you are not a parent I’m not entirely sure that you will know what this feels like. I don’t mean that in any way disrespectfully either. Just that for this particular blog, it really is only since becoming a parent that I have really noticed this.

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Since becoming a parent I have become such a sad sap it isn’t even funny. I swear that I am one of those people who now cries at any animated movie no matter how small the inconvenience is. I tear up and think about things and it makes me feel like trash only because I would poke fun at my mom who also would get sappy about things too. Before becoming a parent I would never feel this way or even admit to it but here we are.

Another thing is that I find myself feeling an overwhelming sense of relief or even sense of serenity. I know that makes me also sound like a weirdo but it’s not. I mean sometimes I am sitting on the couch. One of my son’s is playing with his blocks in front of me. We have the TV on for background noise, and then we have my other son trying to bit his teether toys furiously like he means business. I just look around and I feel a sense of happiness that I dont think I can even describe because it doesn’t even feel real. I feel a sense of wow and wonder that this is actually my life. That this is something I could never have imagined how it felt until I was in the moment. I still can’t believe that after over 2 years, maybe 3 including pregnancy, that I have been a mom and my life has been changed.

*** If you are someone who is really enjoying the blogs and has the financial freedom to want to support this through tips, you are more than welcome to do so by clicking on this link to bring you to my personal Ko-Fi page. Never will you ever be pressured to support in this way however the option is there if you wish to do so! Your continued support regardless of financial or not is greatly appreciated.

Another thing that I know people talk about often is this, Time passes sooo fast with children. I know you know people with kids and have heard at some point, whether a parent or not, you may even have heard your own parents say it, is that “before you know it, they will be growing up like weeds”, “Or off to college soon with them in the blink of an eye” or something along those lines. THIS IS TOTALLY TRUE!! Which is mind blowing right. It really is.

When we had our first child, we knew time was passing fast. When you had to change clothes or even go up diaper sizes you would think to yourself holy moly, there is a lot of time that passed we are already changing up! Well, let me tell you this, when you have more than one kid, you will notice that that time is then going twice as fast as it was with just one child! Maybe I find this is because my second son is growing so quickly and at the time of reading it is 5 months old and next month we start baby foods. I feel like we just had him!


There are even times now when both of the boys are asleep when my spouse and I are laying on the couch and we have to look at each other and wonder, “Wow, we made them” as we look at their monitors form their rooms, which is still hard to grasp. Like we made two human beings. Two little pieces of both of us mixed together they are us. I always knew when I was younger that I would have kids one day. I knew that I would be a mom. It was just a feeling that I knew. And again, I want to state if anyone not a parent is reading this, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children! There is enough pressure for couples to have a family that I do not want to be someone who does that. There is people who want kids and others who do not and there is nothing wrong with that.

I also know a lot of parents feel this strange passing of time due to the amount of parents on my Facebook that when their child’s birthday comes around they comment about how they maybe turned around and they already have a 10 year old! which is again, mind blowing when it comes to things also too. it really is that when you decide to have kids that time has a new meaning. I feel like days in particular happen fast too. There is a lot of times when I turn around and feel like the day has flew by and my spouse is already home from work.

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Being a parent changes you. Or I should say, being a good parent changes you, we know there is a lot of bad ones out there which I would assume their lives don’t really change at all. Being a good parent makes you want to do better, be better, get better. I have been a parent for over 2 years, including pregnancy though I would say closer to 3. I know that I have been changed by my kids and remembering who I used to be and how I dont do some of the things I did before is tough. But there is still many many days when I sit around and think in awe how great my life is. How thankful I am to have 2 children and hopefully we plan for our 3rd and final one towards the end of the year. I am starting to think that this feeling doesn’t ever fade either, It hasn’t since my oldest was born! And it still feels like he was just a little baby and in the hospital and how excited and nervous and happy I was holding him! Even if not he is Mama’s big big baby now!

Why I Disagree with Vegan Lifestyle for Kids

If there is one thing for sure, there is no shortage of how people want to try to tell others how to parent their children. Anywhere from waiting to pierce a child’s ears til they could consent to circumcision without consent(You can read either blog about those subjects here!) but there is nothing more wrong (IMO) than trying to push a specific lifestyle upon your children. Again this is going to be a more or less a personal opinion piece so if you dont agree well, that is completely fine also. This is just how I feel about the subject and as always I welcome any and all opinions in the comments.

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Why I dont think vegan lifestyles should be pushed on kids is just this, they are unable to voice their opinion whether or not they want to pursue that lifestyle and forcing them into it just is plain cruel. Veganism is a very difficult lifestyle. Sure you can face the argument of well you can get everything from other products without eating meat or animal bi-products, however does it really compare to the real deals here? Maybe not. Have the parents been like this for a long time? Maybe, but that doesn’t mean that they should be doing the same thing for their growing child.

The fact is, when kids and babies are growing and they need to have nutrient rich diets. That isn’t to say that aren’t allowed to have treats or sweets and things by any means. It just means that there are nutrients that are majorly important to a growing human being. There just are some things that to substitute out of their food or to even get the proper amounts can be challenging at best. That is not to say that there isn’t specific ways you can actually get the same nutrients. Remember too that kids do not exactly have the largest bodies including their stomachs. In order to cram everything in to get their nutrition for the day may take a lot more than the original choice of getting the nutrients.

*** If you are someone who is really enjoying the blogs and has the financial freedom to want to support this through tips, you are more than welcome to do so by clicking on this link to bring you to my personal Ko-Fi page. Never will you ever be pressured to support in this way however the option is there if you wish to do so! Your continued support regardless of financial or not is greatly appreciated.

So why is it now a days people are so quickly to judge others and how they raise their children but when it comes to dietary needs they are turning away and pretending that they don’t see it. Why is it when people are doing these specific lifestyles and pushing this on to their kids people aren’t also asking the question of why wouldn’t you wait til they could consent to this way of living?

I also want to state, I am not talking about children who may have allergies or sensitivities where they are unable to eat certain things or process certain things either. I am talking about where a parent chooses a lifestyle where they are no longer eating certain things in this world and they are making their child then not eat the same things they will not be eating. Allergies and sensitivities are a whole different ball game which to be frank, could mean life or death if ingested. I am also not saying that people who choose to life a vegan lifestyle are right or wrong in that either. I am sure anyone has valid reasons for eating the way they do, I am just talking about trying to have your children follow the same lifestyle, without them being able to say if they wanted to or not.



I personally am under the understanding that this is wrong and should not be enforced on children. I for example, barely eat a lot of many food groups. I talk more about that in my blog here, however when it comes to say meat, I dont eat much at all. No bacon or steak or hamburgers. Does that mean I make sure my kids don’t eat that also because I dont eat them? No. They eat all of the things I cook for them even if I dont like the taste or am too much of a picky eater. Their dad eats just about anything and everything from snails to frogs legs. I make these things because I know the importance of them to have a well balanced lifestyle when it comes to foods. I cant imagine trying to make my children eat what I eat (Which is carbs carbs carbs) and watching them not have the proper nutritional value per day because of myself. My own way of eating or lack there of is based on me, I dont want to be the reason my children get sick for following my diet.

Just because you lead a specific lifestyle does not mean that you should be forcing your children to also lead the same lifestyle. Until they can consent and form their own opinion on this they should, again in my opinion, be eating the same things anyone would be eating. Which is including all of the food groups and not excluding anything. Would you feel the same way about ear piercing or the same way about male circumcision?

And I also want to throw it out there that I am not talking about making your children lead a vegan lifestyle and then on top of that trying to give them all of these supplements and crap to try to make them have the same nutritional value. A multi vitamin makes sense, but to fill them up with drops and chewable Flintstones vitamins does not make any sense. Eating a certain way only to have the nutrients in those forms is not a way to live either.

Accepting Random Breast Milk from Strangers a new fad

If you are someone who has accepted random strangers breast milk on the daily for your little one you might as well click away because this blog is a lot of truths and a lot of things that you obviously don’t agree with if you are risking your babies life. There is going to be some ranting (In typical Stacey fashion) and a lot of truth bombs coming at you. You may even be surprised if you are in a group of people who had no idea this was happening. Consider yourself lucky and welcome to one of the strangest and most reckless practices that has been known in recent years with raising children.

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Firstly, I would also like to state that I am not talking about accepting breast milk donations from reputable sources. Whether this be a hospital or a proper donation bank. These types of places have screening for the milk to ensure that the quality is there when giving it to babies. They have specific processes to go through and different things that people can do in order to make sure that what they are giving their baby is in fact safe to give. The storage is properly handles, testing is done, quality, as well as many other things before giving it to parents for their little ones.

What I am talking about here is people using facebook groups to get breast milk from normally random strangers (not friends) and then using that milk to feed their children. For whatever reason, whether it be they don’t want to give formula or many they dont have enough of their own supply. People who just connect via messanger and think that it is totally alright to accept breast milk from someone they have no idea their history or background and give this to their babies. I am sure you are probably thinking, but what is the issue here? Let me explain.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!

Let’s jump into the not so obvious first. Storage. This can be something that as innocent as it may sound could be a huge cause for concern. Maybe the milk was left out too long and bacteria grew. Or maybe the storage bags or containers somehow got contaminated. Then you have the not so obvious maybe the pump parts that said mother used have not been properly cleaned and therefore are causing some concern there on whether or not the milk is able to be used. Just this alone should have some sort of cause for safety before you even begin to think about giving it to your baby.

Next you have the pretty obvious stuff. Maybe the person is on some sort of medications or maybe they are on illegal drugs also. I am not talking about weed or alchol either. I am talking about perscription drugs or maybe even harder illegal drugs. Things that people don’t normally divulge when it comes to admitting their faults.



One thing that stuck out in my mind when questioned about this to moms who in fact use random breast milk for their children was this “If this mother gives it to their baby why wouldn’t it be safe for mine?”. Though this could be true, how are we even to know if this milk has not been tampered with or maybe they don’t really give it to their babies. We really do not know that. Maybe this mother is disgruntled because they have an over supply and were only able to conceive the baby they have, while others have many kids. The fact is when someone asks a mother a question and or a series of them, they have to then take their answers at face value. They may be correct and I am sure a lot of the time they are, but that does not mean they always will be.

The fact is in today’s day and age accepting anyone for their face value cards can be risky at best. Then there were people who also stand by the “Mom circle of trust” crap like “well they know the struggles and they wouldn’t do that to another mom”. The fact is we do not know someones intentions. Though a vast majority may have the best intentions for donating milk to random strangers you really do not know that.

Then it also comes down to this, if you are someone who breastfeeds your baby and takes the risk of donating your over supply of breast milk to someone you don’t even know, how would you feel if that breast milk by chance made their baby sick? Could you handle that knowing the reason was your fault even if it was not on purpose but by some other reason too. This is entirely possible and could happen even with something as simple as having a baby having a dairy allergy and you consuming it enough to make them sick. Even if you do limit yourself and don’t think there is enough for them to really be sick from it you still took that chance and made them sick.

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The bottom line is that any doctor in their right mind would not be recommending that someone get random breast milk from a stranger off the street to give their baby. i mention this because yes, someone did say their doctor told them to get breast milk to rule out an allergy to some type of formula (I kid you not) and they went straight to a stranger for this. I will state also if your doctor does this maybe you should be looking at getting a new doctor because this practice is not safe.

The bottom line is this practice of people being so against formula is disgusting at best and reckless. Whether or not a study has shown breast milk is better or whatever, the point is even if you asked this person 100 questions there is no guarantee that they are actually giving you the right answers or the ones that they think you want to hear. And unless there is a proper screening and testing you really have no idea what is in the breast milk that you are not giving to your baby and risking their life for your own personal gain. If this blog post offended you, I can only assume that you are someone who would risk your little one’s life for a personal vendette.

Why You Should Never Join a Mommy or Parents Facebook Group

I know what you are thinking, Mommy groups on Facebook are great! They are a good spot where mom’s can talk about different things and bounce idea’s off of other mom’s or parents so that they are able to see different solutions and how to care for your little one. especially if you are a first time parents and have not many resources at hand they can be a good spot to find out what may be troubling your young child.

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that being said, they are not always as great as you may think that they are. Sometimes, well a lot of the time they are filled with a bunch of not so nice things. which is natural due to the fact that there are many things that parents may or may not know about their kids. There is a lot of sarcasm at times, myself included.

Mommy groups on Facebook are toxic a lot of the times. They are filled with parents who sit home all day or have a lot of time on their hands and they keep posting or commenting on different things. They sometimes even belittle people in the process. An example of this is whenever someone mentions feeding. As a formula feeding parent I know and see this pretty regularly in the groups that I am in. A parent automatically assume that the other person posing the question is breastfeeding. This is just another example of how as a society we need to normalize formula feeding again (which I wrote about and you can read about it on my blog here!).

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!

Another way that I would not recommend is that if you do decide to join, make sure you turn off notifications or even hide posts until you physically open the group yourself. When you are looking at your feeds and you see this being posted it can be extremely addicting to keep up to date on what parents are talking about and getting the “in” on things. I found myself being consumed by what everyone was posting even if the same things were being posted every single day multiple times.

That also leads me to another aspect, I find that the groups are unaware or maybe don’t care to, search the group for different questions. The repetition alone on asking questions can be exhausting to keep track of. Popular topics that people talk about are a) breast feeding b) how their child slept perfectly but now doesn’t (Not researching sleep regressions, or sleep training just assuming they sleep trained once and baby is good to go which is not the case) and then you have the ever popular (at least where I life for the local group) c) should I take my baby XX or should I go to the emerge or walk in? The questions that get asked daily are actually mind numbing and a simple search of the group would provide all of the answers needed.

One of the big things is judgement (also guilty). There is so much judgement when it comes to these groups that if you are light heated i would suggest not even getting involved in them. There is very triggering posts in there also that some people have no idea how to handle and will attack other people for having an opinion. Case in point, I posted a hot topic about how I dont think accepting random breast milk from strangers should be allowed. I was genuinely trying to see how people could come to that conclusion and while my intentions were kind and after the rash posts of people supporting this practice (Which is highly unsafe and damaging to a baby potentially which I also wrote about here) people grouped up and told me I was wrong when I was trying to see how someone could give their child something that have no idea but the word of a stranger on how it is good.

Another hard part of these groups is whether or not they are directly meaning to do this they can make you feel like you’re doing too much or too little of something. For example, a lot of people post about these different approaches to things or certain styles maybe “gentle” parenting. To the point if you even mention you have raised your voice they will come at you and make you feel like you are not doing the best you can even if different styles do in fact work (shocking I know). I know for me, there are posts where people talk about getting a crap ton of sensory toys or even those special (expensive) black and white toys to help their babies and their kid is nearly 3 months old. Or people posting how they feel like a bad parent for not entertaining their child 24/7 either. Even if not directly pointed at you, they are filled with things that can make you feel like you are not up to the society standard of what a parent should be.

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Another thing that I have noticed is a lot of people just like any other social media group, talk a lot of talk when behind a computer screen. A lot of the times I find people are not as genuine as they would be had you met them some where else naturally instead of this group. I find people are fake and that they will a lot of times tell you what you want to hear. One thing I noticed is that I find myself being too blunt and not sugar coating things which can obviously not be helpful to people who want to hear a very specific answer to their questions.

Just like anything there are some benefits. It should be seen as a resource on maybe if you need help or something you can look at it. Though they are typically filled with drama it is really best to avoid them if you can or even try to limit how much you spend browsing the pages also because that can be a tricky part in itself too!

Frowned Upon Parenting: Part 1

The following post has been made thanks to the app Peanut (Not sponsored) where you can ask and interact with communities and groups of fellow Mom’s. One day I had asked one of the groups that I was in something that they would be doing that they know as a fact other mom’s or parents would be frowning upon. These were some of the things they said. For me, I will be also giving my opinion on each of the situations and hopefully you get a chuckle out of them. Some of them I know that I do or will do in my parenting journey, others I completely disagree with.

If you want to see the previous part’s as they are released they will be added here:
Frown Upon Parenting 2
Frown Upon Parenting 3
Frown Upon Parenting 4

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Pro screen time can be a touchy subject. For me I grew up in the 90’s when we were sat in front of the TV with shows like Mr Rogers Neighborhood, Barney and Sesame Street. Now there is a huge discussion with sitting your children in front of the television is a huge taboo subject. They also say that having your child watch any TV before the age of 2 can stunt their knowledge. That being said, as much in life, I believe everything is good in moderation. When we were growing up there was never really any type of limiting and I feel like people grew up just fine. Now we live in a world with technology literally in our hands a lot of the time we cannot expect for our children to not be familiar with technology though either. For us, I do limit how much time my son’s get to watch TV however we do believe there is some benefits to it. You can see where I talk more about that in my top 3 shows that we watch with our son’s and the 3 shows we would rather avoid watching. Anything in moderation is great for me!

Another user said that they let their kids eat whatever and whenever they want. I know growing up as a teenager even or a child in school we did not eat anything and everything and that is a lifestyle that I think I would adapt with my own kids when they hit that age. My reasoning for this is what they should be eating things of some nutritional value. Does that mean I never give treats or snacks? No. It just means that I wont be giving my son’s bowls of crackers of chips or cereal endlessly so that they keep eating and eating and eating the entire day. There is specific times for snacks and meals there is no unlimited supply of snacks. We all can related to having kids over from school and being the house that always gave snacks and treats away. I won’t be that house especially with the price of food now a days!

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!

Bed sharing is also a controversial subject. I am pretty clear on the subject as you can also read when I talk about this here in the blog where I disagree with it. In short, I dont believe in bed sharing because of so many safety reasons. I know people who do it continuously til they have children about 3 or more years old, if that is for them so be it. Growing up I was never in the same bed as my parents sleeping and there was three of us. I know growing up I wouldn’t be doing it with my children either. Does that mean that I have never done it before? No. I have if I am totally spent and looking for the extra hour and a half after my partner has gone to work before my oldest wakes up. That is not something we do regularly though because just as their safety is important, so is our sleep too.

One user said they would totally be frowned upon for finishing their kids homework. They said they have gone to bed and they have finished their homework because they may not have done it before going to bed and they didn’t want them to have to rush it in the morning. I can say with confidence this is not something I would be doing for my kids when they hit school age. Why? Because I finished school and they are the ones who are learning. That is a line straight from my mothers mouth because she or my dad had never finished our homework. That being said was there arguments because I didn’t want to do them, yes, but they still never did it for us.



Dessert first is something that one user said which I can say sometimes this had happened. Occasionally we would get take out normally McDonald’s or something and we would get an ice cream with it. Sometimes my mom would tell us we could eat the ice cream first because if not it would melt. That being said she always told us not to tell my dad (which we did!) and it was just a little fun thing she used to do with myself and my siblings. I wouldn’t say we would eat dessert every night first however there will be instances where I think this would be a fun treat for my kids!

As you can see there really is a lot of things that parents frown upon others which is why I asked the question and figured that I would be make a mini series of what things parents know to be maybe not the normal lifestyle choices for raising kids! And why not put my own opinions within this too, because you never know how people may feel about these specific circumstances! Was there anything in the list above that you do or know you will have others frown upon your parenting style? Let me know in the comments below, maybe your point will be featured in the next set of Frowned Upon Parenting blogs!

Infant and Toddler Milestones, Stop stressing!

I know this may be a shock to some who have not had children for the past 5 or 10 years or so, however did you know that there are actually infant and toddler milestones that you are supposed to be hitting with children? I know completely insane right. I know that some of you reading this also need to hear this too… STOP STRESSING!

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When you have a baby especially in this day and age there are many many many milestones that you are supposed to be hitting. Some of them could be something as simple as your baby finding you from across the room or even turning their head towards your voice. Then you have more advanced ones like when they are old enough to say hold their head and or crawl and then standing and walking too. To be completely honest trying to keep up with all of them is exhausting.

The fact is, your child may never hit the milestones when studies or whatever says that they are supposed to. Is this a good marker to keep track of things may they have some sort of disability in the future? Sure. At the end of the day though there is no singular test or milestones that will be hit by everyone at the same time. Sometimes you may have a child who hits them all perfectly, even advanced, than you may have another one that is a bit behind in hitting them but is still hitting them. If they are hitting them even at their own pace there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

My first son was a bit of a late bloomer. He took a while to really say words. However his comprehension to things has been phonemonal. He also was a late bloomer when it came to walking too. However he flies by now when he runs around the room. My current son even though he is not even close to being a year old seems to be doing milestones also relatively quickly in comparison. I swear as soon as he was outside of my body he was trying to hold his head up for multiple reasons. Not to mention his growth is seemingly off the charts as he is growing like a weed!

I think it is important to note, when we were all children the milestones that children had to hit may not have been as known. Most of us turned out pretty alright even without those markers. Dare I even say raising kids was more relaxed in a sense because we were not comparing our kids as much as we do now, thanks to media and the advances in that for part of the reason for the shift now. Sure, they are a great thing for us to use when it comes to diagnosing certain things in children or infants. I think there were also some people who also may have gone untreated by this too.

I will mention this, having a second child I am far less worried about the milestones as I was with my first. I feel like the mentioning of this constantly can also cause even more anxiety and worry in a parent that if their little one may not be hitting them bang on like they are “supposed” to on paper that they immediately panic. I know, I was totally worried if my first son was missing a milestone here and there. You know what though? He eventually did hit all of them!

One problem now a days with parenting is that everything needs to be so technical. From these silly little milestones to even how they play. From the montesseri or whatever have you way of learning. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do anyways as parents? Why does there need to be certain ways for us to help our children learn? Not everything in parenting needs to be so thought out and done. Honestly the best thing you can do as a parent is just to go with the flow. Am I saying that routine or structure is bad? No. Of course not! But there can be some relaxation in the process. If you are a bit off schedule one day or if you have the TV on a little bit when you want to try to get something done, there is nothing wrong with that either.

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As parents we find ourselves stressing about anything and everything, and even though as we have more kids we find ourselves becoming more relaxed there is enough stressors that we really don’t need to add anything else. If your child is missing milestones a lot or maybe is far behind than obviously there is some cause for concern though but in the grand scheme of things it is completely okay for us to let things happen naturally. As I mentioned my first son has been a late bloomer in terms of talking, however now at 2 years old I swear every day he repeats a new word that I had no idea he would. The fact is, none of his doctors ever seemed alarmed by this, we as his parents were the ones who were more stressed.

Before you focus on milestones, know that you are a great parent. You are doing everything you feel right in their lives and if milestones take a bit longer than Jimmy down the road that is completely normal and okay. We need to enjoy the life we have created and watch them grow instead of trying to fit them into this timeline of when things should or shouldn’t be happening. A cause for concern should happen when the time comes, and if a doctor whom you hopefully trust, isn’t concerned than you really shouldn’t be either!

Ear Piercings and Kids

I already know the controversy that this subject entails and so be it. I just feel like since having children this subject comes up far too often and I thought why not share my thoughts about it also. Especially in parenting groups on Facebook it seems to be a subject that pops up every few weeks which clearly divides the community.

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Growing up, in the 90’s, not to date myself, many parents would get their little girls (or boys maybe on traditional reasons) ear’s pierced. There were specific reasons for doing this so young. I, myself, had my ear’s pierced by my mother when I was maybe 6 months old. I still have them in today, in fact I have a few more holes not just in my ears too! The reasoning for this was because of the fact that I was so young the chance of infection was lower. Why you may be thinking? That would be because as a baby you really aren’t interested in your ears and are playing with them far less than you would be if the child was older. There is also the cosmetic reason where girls should have piercings in the eyes of society. Or maybe the boys or girls get them done based on cultural or religious views too.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

One of the recent debates that is up for discussion nearly any time I see this posted anywhere locally is “Where can I get my (insert age) child’s ears pierced?”. Which when it is seen almost immediately you see the troves of people saying “Get it done when they can consent to it.. blah blah blah blah”. Why is it all of a sudden we are caring about a child has to consent to this being done? Is this a wave of different things in the world that causes parents to be waiting for everything and not making decisions on this.



Then there comes the argument of “But I want my child to be able to have a say if they want their ears pierced or not”. This though valid, can be see the other way too. If a child does not want their ear’s pierced and can voice that they don’t want them, can they not remove them and have the holes grow over too? Can’t it go the other way here.

I also have noticed when it comes to these types of posts so be it the same people comment in the smaller groups for parents and what not, that the same people who are shaming others for wanting to get their children’s ears pierced are the same people who live a meat free or vegan lifestyle. They are completely against having any cow’s milk for their kids and will typically use some alternative like almond milk or maybe cashew milk. Why is it that these particular parents are sometimes trying to say “Their body their choice” but then deprive them of different food groups to suit their mindset. Sure you can get nutrients from everything and anything but sometimes the other alternatives just does not have the same effect on a growing human though.

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As with many other things, there is also the heritage reasons for this where some cultures require both sexes to have it done or maybe they are to have it done based on becoming a certain age too. I feel like this may be a subject that is acceptable in different parts of the world however in Canada I would say that the opinions here are pretty split in terms of it is something that is acceptable to have done with your kids.

It should also be noted, myself included in this, that growing up when kids did get their ears pierced they were done with a piercing gun. This can also be the way people choose to get a child’s ears done now however more and more people are saying they should go to an actual piercing studio to have them done with a needle. Apparently now a days the gun causes some sort of trauma to the ear that a needle does not. The main difference is that the gun you can have two people doing it at the same time making the piercings themselves happen a lot quicker than if it was a needle. Thus also being known that if you go to a piercing studio you can basically guarantee that they will not do it unless the kid can consent to this though. Where as with the guns you could probably go to a smaller store spot like maybe a Claire’s store. Which these people are not trained in the a lot of areas that a professional piercing artist is.

Though at the time of writing this I cannot confidently say whether or not I would get my girl’s ears pierced due to the fact that I dont have any daughters, if I was decide today if I would, I feel like I would be leaning towards yes. If at a later time they did not want to have their ear’s pierced they are more than welcomed to take them out. I dont believe this is a mutilation that is unable to have be reset so to speak. You can simply take the piercing out and have the hole grow over. Though I am not really thinking about that type of decision and it would really depend what I choose when the time comes!



5 Feel Good Parenting Moments in the 1st Year

Being a parent is no easy feat. There is so many things that you go through even within the first few days that have you questioning everything. Is baby happy? Am I doing this right? What is wrong with me? It can be hard to loose track of how great of a job you are doing though when you are riddled with some anxiety around parenting. That being said, even with all of the worry and anxiety surrounded by asking yourself “Am I doing what is right”. There are many moments that happen that will no doubt reassure yourself that you are a wonderful parent raising the next generation. This is some of the best things that happen within the first year that will make you feel that sign of relief that you are doing everything right!

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Crawling is a huge milestone for any baby. It really is something that you can look forward to and also one of the major things you need to prep for since baby will officially be on the move! It really is a nice feeling to see your little one finally make it a bit across the floor. Normally their first little crawl is for yourself or spouse, another sibling or maybe their favorite toy! None the less it is a major milestone that no matter when it happens whether sooner or later you are going to be so filled with happiness you will be beside yourself for a little bit! When my 1st son started to crawl I even woke up my spouse from sleeping in because i did not want him to miss it. The fact that your tiny human is becoming mobile and moving about without your help is a relief in more ways than one.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

Standing and or pulling themselves up onto things is another time when you will find yourself grinning and smiling from ear to ear. This typically is a sign that your young one will soon be walking. Pulling themselves up on to things like a table or chair is a sign that you also need to be checking what is up top of them and avoiding putting anything there. Due to the fact that they will be grabbing things they can now reach. I swear, it is like every month or so you are continuing to baby proof your house over and over again! And if you have another child that is older you already are half way there because you did it the 1st time! We even got a little walker for our first which we hope to use for our second (And third when the time comes!) to help them learn to pull themselves up also.

Laughing was a huge smile maker for myself. I don’t mean the little giggle at whatever they are thinking about. I mean the laugh where you are the one that created it. With my 1st this was when I would pretend to put his pacifier in his mouth but wiggle it on his gums or take it away really quick. I would say “Ohh too slow! I got your sookie!” And he would laugh and laugh and laugh. There is no greater feeling, or very little greater feelings than hearing and seeing your little one laugh because of you! This is a lot better then the alternative that will happen when they are teenagers when they begin to laugh AT you. Hearing your little one laugh is basically an instant mood booster also. No matter what type of mood you are in whether it be a sadder mood or even a mad one, hearing your child laugh can instantly turn that around immediately!

Trying foods was always a fun time. Especially if there were ones that you know they may not enjoy like a lemon or lime or even a raspberry which my son found was sour to begin with. Trying foods is a huge milestone because if you are like myself who bottle feeds, you can look forward to having to make less bottles because they are beginning to get full on more solids. Figuring out what you baby enjoys and doesn’t and seeing all of the facial expressions is a moment that you both will share as his pallet begins to grow! It was always funny to see his face scrunch up with different textures and foods to find out what he liked or didn’t like!

My 1st son Vincent! Playing Peek-a-boo in his blanket!

And lastly, a major milestone to look forward to is smiling! Sure, babies do smirk and smile quite frequently due to gas or whatever else. However when your little one finally smiles at you is incredible. Whether you are talking to them, or you are making a silly face, or trying to make them smile in whatever way works, seeing them fully have a real smile is a moment you will never forget! Seeing your child light up when you do that silly little thing that just gets them in their moment!

There is so many milestones within the first year of a child’s life that I could probably make more editions of this (Maybe some new blog ideas!) and each child you choose to have they may even change too. Or they could also vary in terms of child to child. For me, my first son never walked til after he was a year old. He was a late bloomer. Where as my second son maybe he will be walking before he turns one. Whatever you list as being the top moments of the first year, there is no wrong answer!

Transition from Work to a Stay at Home Mom

Transitioning to being a stay at home is not an easy thing to do. You have an entire new human to take care of. Your whole schedule is no longer your own and you are running your own things based on another person. I know me it was challenging however with the right tools I was able to adjust and now I feel like time in the day goes extremely fast!

Vincent and Felix!

If you are not familiar with my blogs, I have said previously that I used to live in Quebec. I before that, was in Nova Scotia. I grew up here. When I was living home and had never moved away I was in fact working. I was a disabled support worker and I also talk more about that here. It was such a rewarding and inspiring job that leaving it was a bit of a sad feeling for me. Leaving this work place that I was at for over 8 years was something that needed to be done but it never made things easier either.

After quitting this job due to moving to a different province, I never worked. I went to school to be able to learn French and obviously learn how to communicate more with my spouse’s family. He is from Quebec so his family speak French, I knew very little so instead I was able to sign up for French Classes through the government and get paid to go to school. It was nothing like if I was actually working however it was something and that was better than nothing.

**If you like what you are reading through out these blogs, and are looking at ways to financially support the blog, please consider checking out my Ko-Fi link here. You will NEVER be pressured to contribute to towards put any type of money towards the blog however if the thought has crossed your mind, here is a great way to help a stay at home mom provide some financial relief for her family.

And if you have not noticed the crazy amount of parenting and or baby type blogs you will find out that I ended up school and by then I was nearing the end of my first pregnancy. I wouldn’t have bothered to apply for work since the fact that I was nearing birth for my 1st I probably would never have been hired based on a few months work anyways.

I love being home with my son’s however I do find it very challenging to find a routine. If I was to tell you I didn’t miss the aspect of leaving and making a real paycheck I would be lying. I miss being able to make money and save where as the only income I have right now is the monthly allowance for having children basically, which of course does not amount to a whole lot. You can read more about why my partner and I decided that I would not work once we started to have kids here.

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Regardless though, I am trying my best to make something happen at home. I stream live on Twitch 2 days a week, Monday and Friday. I also have between 3-4 blogs being released every week which also helps to fill my time. I also do crafts and paintings and some creating as well because I think it is great for me to keep in touch with things I did before or still do since having Children. That being said they do not all bring in any money if any at all currently however it is a work in progress and hopefully by the end of the year I will be able to re-write this.

So how was it to go from being out in school and class all day or working all of the time trying to make a living, to staying at home taking care of a household and two little boys? It was not to bad. One of the biggest things I find is that time flies by most days. I am sure anyone you know who has any amount of children will tell you, “Wow! They sure do grow up fast don’t they”. Well you would not be wrong. I feel like I am just having my 1st son and here I am a few months into having another son. Time flies when you have children and before you know if they are back talking and sassy to you!

One thing that has kept me sane the whole time being home (Not just with being a stay at home mom, but also dealing with Covid too!) is having an agenda. I talk about my obsession with them and what I look for here. I find being able to schedule things even if it something as simple as date night with the boyfriend, crafts with the kids, time to blog and prep for the month ahead, network and chat on social media. Scheduling things (As hard as it may be with children!) is important for me to keep track of where I am going, where I want to be, and what I can do to make things go smoother. It doesn’t have to be just about appointments either!

For me I think the transition was pretty simple due to the fact that I was in school before and not working my shift work job before. I also am sure that if people are used to doing over time and suddenly working from home that it also may be challenging too. Or maybe they plan on only taking so much leave and going right back to work. That I can imagine will also be tough too. Knowing that my spouse could be away for a long time with his job, or even months, I think has made this a bit easier at least on myself. The idea of being a constant in my children’s lives while there can be so much uncertainty is a huge things for me. Regardless of what you do, there will be challenges, but nothing you can’t over come!