Tag Archives: Healthy

Inside my Mental Health Journal

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When I first lost weight before I used a calorie counting journal. By doing this I also lost 30+ pounds. Though over the years, 10 plus, there has been some changes within them. As Ive aged I focus on certain things more so than others. Before it was just simple, count the calories. Exercise and that was it. Now I have included more things spiritually like how I feel that day, was I struggling, things like that. Only because there are more things I think I should be focusing on, Even self care or putting creams on my face. Habits I need to build that I no longer could on my own but keeping track is that much better.

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I know what a lot of people are probably thinking. Why do you write things out? I write things out because if I use an app (which works great for millions of people!) It never really “sinks in”. It makes me feel like a robot imputing data and I never really am aware about what I put into it. By writing it out, taking the time to do so, it makes things really click that I am aware about what I am doing. Maybe I have an off day and I’m writing longer than normal. Maybe I am having a great day and it goes super well and I have decorated the page. It really just depends. I prefer this way because it works for me!

I dont buy fancy books either. I buy a simple plain notebook and write my own outlines within it. I talk about how much I love notebooks in the blog here however when it comes to me and notebooks if I mess up, which to me is skipping days etc, I always feel like I need a fresh start. If I was buying notebooks pre-written I would be wasting even more more money than I do now on those things! Not to mention, even pre-writing the pages is helping to serve the purpose of also keeping my hands busy when I am sitting around in the evenings. I write a few pages or a few weeks worth of outlines and keeping my hands occupied.

Purchase your copy of The Darkness, the first of a trilogy of collections from ME! You can get your copy of the book here by clicking anywhere in this mini paragraph! Available on both Kindle and Paperback versions which ever you would like to buy!

I also keep track of my exercise in there. And when I say that It could be anything. Maybe I spend an hour really cleaning certain things in my home or gardening or maybe shoveling snow in the winter time or something. I try to keep track of activities even dancing that I do without it having to be exercise in the typical way one would think. Sometimes I dont give myself credit when I should and this is one of those things!

I also put notes at the bottom in case something happened. Maybe we went out for a dinner and I ate over my calories so this was a way for me to note why I may have eaten a lot more than I would. When I have days where we may order take out or maybe we are eating in a restaurant those are worth noting like all of them however a reason is good to see if we are ordering too much.

One of my toxic things about doing this is that I have 2 problems. One of those problems is that when I miss a few days of counting or tracking I have a tendency to stop writing anything down and I leave the book alone. I feel like because I missed a day and it wasn’t filled out perfectly that I am wasting my time and that is not even realistic in my way of thinking. I need to remember that there may be days here and there that I dont really want to fill it out or I forgot or maybe at the end of the day it was just too much. Life is not perfect but that is no reason to disregard anything that I have dont that could have been progress. The second one is that when I do fall into the not writing things down behavior I do a really big deal out of a minor inconvenience and I try to start over as in I wont use the same scribbler. I will re-write the same things I had in the other book and use a new book. But if I dont have any that I really want ot use I will physically go out or order on amazon a new book and write things. I need to stop this mindset. In reality I could be making millions of excuses and I need to just stop and do it for real this time.

You can see some examples here of how I fill out my scribbler. You can also see that I do post daily what I end up eating and what I enjoy more like a daily vlog on tiktok. I want to start that because I feel like the minor editing I can do on the app would be a great thing for me to start doing to occupy my hands again at the end of the night. Plus who doesn’t love to see a feel good story about losing weight. And another way or me to be held accountable is great for me too. I am really looking forward to finally feeling like I am doing something for myself!

I’m doing a weight loss challenge – Self Care Thursday – April 14th 2022

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I know, I did this late so if you are reading this after the Thursday it is supposed to be posted and PRETEND that I am on time. I swear we will be on time next week! I just have been majorly slacking and wallowing in self pity for whatever reason so I have been behind!

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I have decided to do a weight loss challenge. Through some folks on Facebook there had been a group of a 12 week weight loss challenge. The cost is 25$ and you weigh in on the Monday it starts and whenever you want towards the end. I am not entirely sure if it will go winner take all or not but I feel like for 25$ it still is cheaper than a gym membership or personal trainer that I hope it gives me the motivation that I need. I am so excited to start this and I really hope that I can get some pounds gone and maybe even winning something along the way as it goes too.

*** If you would like to support this blog financially you are more than welcome to do so by clicking this link here to bring you to my Ko-Fi website. Supporting the blog via tips is NEVER pressured however if you feel so inclined to help out in another way this is a perfect way to do so! You can see some behind the scenes items as well as insider info on the store updates and uncensored blogs also coming soon!

That being said I have started to go back to how I lost weight before. If you know from previous blogs I have lost weight before, mind you this was a long time ago and also before I was ever pregnant but I still lost weight. I have created a new calorie counting book. I am hoping to really deck it out at night to avoid munching and snacking at night. I want this to be more of a journal than a diary or log book. I also may not even be writing the calories of things but just documenting with what I eat in the run of a day. I also am debating if I want to do some sort of fasting like maybe 12pm noon until 7pm max however I am still undecided. I also am going to be doing different things and workout videos and things again too.

I feel like this could be a huge opportunity for me to be with other people who want to also lose weight. One thing I want to do as this journey goes and hopefully the weight also goes is by going through my clothes. That is something that I need to face reality. I do not need the amount of clothes that I have. Number one, some of them may never fit me anymore due to having 2 kids and my body changing. I need to come to that realization and just start weeding out clothes. I barely flip through clothes not let alone the ones that I used to wear to the bars. I need to start de-cluttering my life and clothes is huge. I know there are some underwear that will never fit me again based on my hips being incredibly different now.

One of my favorite items to use to workout and get the heart pumping is a skipping rope. Pair this with hand weights for a mini workout when you are a bit crunched for time!

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Starting this Monday I will take some before photos and re-post measurements. If you have been someone following this journey you will know that the weight I Have and measurements are probably not that much different than when I first started writing this in January. However I am excited to see where it takes me. I may even write some sort of a guide for the Thursday blogs so that I can talk about the same things every week and make things that much easier. Here is to 12 weeks and getting some what of a summer body back before my spouse has parental and we explore the province with our sons!

One shake that I found to actually fill me up is slim fast shakes, they are a great meal replacement with a sweet kick added too. When I am needed an added bonus for energy I tend to reach for these Nuun energy tablets.

Living with Asthma

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It sucks. The end.

Just kidding. Living with asthma does indeed suck though. I was diagnosed with asthma when I was 4 years old. My mom had already lost a daughter (More in a blog post here: ) and when I was sick and wasnt getting any better she had to know why.

I was so young when this happened but my mom has told me stories and there was photos of when I was in the hospital. I was in there for nearly a month right around Christmas. When she had first taken me to the hospital apparently I was given 13 or 14 masks in a row. This was something they strapped to your face (Not nearly as bad as I can explain it) which had special liquid that was turned into a gas that you breathed in. It was super challenging for me to breath. My parents begged them to take me home for Christmas because having to deal with this in her first daughter she knew how hard it was to have a child in the Hospital for the holidays. I was only then allowed to come home to relax when my parents had gotten their own system to deliver the mask. I remember that as I was growing up and routinely sick around Christmas (I was allergic to Christmas trees, See the blog for that here: ) That I would continuesly be getting up every 4 hours with either my mom or dad to sit on their lap and have the mask administer the medication.

Growing up as a child, I loved the hospital. Going in with asthma I never had to really be poked with needles or anything. I had to have some oxygen machines on my finger and things but never was I poked and prauded with things. I also loved the fact that I was given popsicles to eat since I would be coughing so much my throat was a bit dry. And on top of it all, having a younger brother and sister, I loved the attention! It was nice that also when I would go to the hospital with my mom more often than not we would be taken in right away due to it being breathing issues. That was a great thing instead of waiting to be seen for hours and hours. As I look back now as an adult, I do anything to avoid going to the hospital. I do not want to be there under any circumstances not to mention there probably is times that I should be going but I avoid it and hope I get better.

I would say that there is people with far worse asthma than myself. However when I get bad and are in the middle of a sickness or attack it is never fun. Something as enjoyable as laughing could put me into an asthmatic attack where I am barely able to breath. Growing up as a teenager if I was walking too fast to school I would start to cough so much that I would throw up. Same with laughing or talking or being too loud. I would constantly have to check myself and relax my body to stop the coughing fits and hopefully it will pass without running to the bathroom and coughing.

As far as medications go, I was always on puffers. I started with the blue and orange ones (Forgive me for not knowing the older names because this was so long ago). they were used with the tube since I was so young it helped to make sure i was getting a full mouth full before breathing it in. After that I moved up to a brown and blue inhaler. These were the “L” shaped ones where you push the top and they have a burst of medication that you breath in. After this I was moved up to turbo inhalers which have a powder medication in the bottom of them. You simple twist the bottom and you breath out away from the opening and then you breath in. Twisting the bottom with each dose. I started on the blue and brown one of these. Currently I am on a turbo inhaler that is red called Symbacort. I should be taking this every day in the morning and at night which I don’t and should really try to however not having a family doctor here I really need to conserve how often I use it since I don’t have any refills. Lastly, by extreme emergency’s I am put on a medication called predisone. This is given to people who have cancer and a wide arrange of illnesses. It is basically a steroid for your lungs. I get this when things are very bad and my puffer would not help. My family doctor has always said to me, if I start to feel sick take my turbo-haler every 4-6 hours. If I do this for 4-5 days and feel no better and are starting to feel worse, I need to get a predisone prescription. Luckily, since moving to Quebec I have only needed it once and the walk in doctor we went to trusted my judgement and prescribed me this. Most walk-in doctors would try to give me an antibiotic which did nothing and I would end up back at my family doctor with him wondering why I am this bad! Normally a walk in wont prescribe it since it is a steroid for your chest and they don’t know your file even though I know and have told them it really is needed! The only time I get this is if my doctor so happens to be the walk in doctor and I am able to get in to see him.

Living with Asthma sucks. There is no way around it. However for the amount of time I am sick it really isnt that bad. I just have to be mindful and really know my body and symptoms so that I don’t let it get that bad. I know my aunt also has Asthma which is a bit more tricker than myself. She is more sensitive to scents and can get sick easier than myself. I consider myself lucky in terms of how manageable my asthma is, There is a lot of people who are unable to do a lot or medications have no effect on them either.

Do you or someone you know have Asthma?
Do they have trouble managing the symptoms?

Let me know in the comments below!

-StaySeeJ


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Weight Loss Wednesday #4 – Feeling refreshed even struggling!

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If you have been following my journeys at all you will see that I am in the process of trying to lose weight. AS anyone knows it is a struggle and you can see the beginning of my struggles right here. Losing weight is hard for anyone.

It is no surprise that I am struggling. For what reason I don’t know. With my son’s birthday yesterday obviously there was snacks and things and I hope that by writing this I can get back on track. I have been working a lot on trying to not stress about misses I might have in my schedule. That is a major reason why I try to restart my calorie counting books and things. I am the worst when it comes to being my own worst enemy. When I screw things up I am still holding it over my head for a while and its not a good thing at all.

I have been trying my best to cut back on smoking weed. Though I don’t think I am doing a whole lot I try not to smoke AT LEAST 3-4 days a week when I am gaming at least. Or if I do end up smoking I will after I have gamed. This is mostly because I am super lazy when I smoke and as I mentioned before I always cut the streams short when I am smoking and I don’t want to do that. My goal is to really try to hammer out a schedule of streaming and get to it for sure.



Current weight: 242.0lbs (Right back in the beginning.. LOL)
Start weight: 242.0lbs
Measurements (The same will be used because I really haven’t lost any weight and so measurements wouldn’t be different)

Measurements:
Waist: 47.0 Inches ( No Change)
Hips: 54.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
Bust – Over – 46.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
– Under – 41.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
Thighs – Left – 30.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
– Right – 31.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
Arms – Left – 14.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
– Right – 14.5 Inches (Up .5 Inch)



Going forward I think it would be better for me to not stress a bit over things. I think that is one of my biggest things like anything in life we normally are our own biggest critiques. That’s not a good thing! Instead of moving past a bad day or something I hang on to it like that is the biggest thing in the world and that’s so weird and not good mentally for myself. Having a bad day does not mean that I should throw away everything I worked hard for. I know that and even saying and writing it out loud it still can be really hard to grasp. I need to stop feeding my feelings with food and take a moment to reflect in times when I would like to munch overly whether I am high or not. I notice sometimes if I am bored I will mindlessly eat which is not good either and I really need to hammer down and stopping that.

My march goal is to hopefully get under 230lbs. It will not be easy and I know it will be challenging in many ways. I need to really stop feeling sorry for myself and actually do something as hard as it may be. I know that I can do it I just need to put my mind to it! It will be great and I am looking forward to the next month!!

Why I Love My Soda Stream

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Before I begin, No, This is not a paid sponsorship or advertisement for Soda Stream. However if they (The people at Soda Stream) were to see this YES. I would love to talk sponsorship or whatever you want. Mind you this is also strictly my opinion on it and why you should give it a try. If you don’t agree you are more than welcome to disagree! I welcome that! I just know for me I really enjoy the soda stream myself and figure why not share this with you all! And for anyone on the fence hopefully it is a transparent post where you can see some pro’s and con’s that I find for the product and decide for yourself!

My first experience with Soda Stream was actually at my old job. I used to take care of people who had intellectual and physical disabilities in their homes. One Christmas I was working and had to bring a gentleman to his family’s house for the Holidays. His brother actually had one and asked if I would like to try it. Before this I had only ever seen the commercials but had never seen it in person or even know anyone that had one. I mean, after all, if I wanted pop I would just buy it right? He had mentioned that before the Soda Stream they drank a lot of pop. And after they still drink a lot but they find themselves grabbing just the fizz from the water more then the flavorings themselves. In doing so, had also lost weight since the Soda Stream typically has 1/3 the calories as your name brand soda.

It wasn’t til a little while later my boyfriend and I were out when I convinced him we should have one for our house. I hyped it up for sure since he can be a lot wiser then I with money. We got it! And a sample pack with something like 12 flavors in a single use pouch you just squirt into the bottle after you make the water fizzy. It was a great way to really get to see which flavors you liked before committing to a larger jug of syrup. Not that they were super expensive or anything however it wouldn’t be super great if you committed to a larger sie syrup bottle if you didn’t like that flavor. It had many different samplers, such as orange and cola, a lemon and lime flavor and their diet counter parts as well. If you are looking for something you like this was the best bet. There was even a grapefruit flavor in sampler pack as well too! Which we both liked as well.

I will say this, If you are looking for a cheaper alternative for regular brand make pop like Coca-Cola you will not find it here because it will not replace that flavor. If you are seeking a Pepsi substitute you will not find that either. It is cheaper in the sense you buy the bottles of gas and you exchange it and get a refund where the refund will be technically make the new bottle approx $20.00 Canadian. And it does last for a while and you can basically pick and choose which you would like in terms of flavor whether that be a similar flavor to “Dr Pepper” where their brand is known as “Dr Pete”. Think about a store brand flavor like, Great Value, or President Choice, or Big 8, That will be the flavor of pop you get from these syrups. It does get the job done when you are craving it, But if you want the specific pop it will not achieve that. Or at least I have found sometimes I have gone out and gotten different name brand pop to satisfy that craving.

Another bonus that I really appreciate my soda stream for is the lower calories. For someone like me who has been fairly open about my struggles with weight loss this has been a great alternative. Not to mention the fact it has one third the calories is an added bonus. I will say as well about the flavor it does not taste all fake sugar aspartame either. I for one am not a fan of diet pops because I do not like the taste of fake sugar. I find that it leaves this weird film on your mouth and it sticks with me all day. Not to mention it also seems to more often than not give me heartburn which is never fun to deal with during the day and if I can prevent it I will! I don’t find Soda Stream flavors do this. Sure they obviously have less sugar if they are less calories, but they certainly don’t really sacrifice the flavor by doing so. The way I see it is this, If I am slacking and really would like to have pop, I will reach for the soda stream first. If I am doing well on counting calories and what not then I will reach for a regular pop to satisfy the cravings. I also have noticed if we have the syrup in the house I am reaching more so for the flavorings to make the fizzy water similar to the cheap bottles you would get at your local grocery store.

Overall, If possible, I would for sure recommend the soda stream to anyone looking to curb their drinking of soft drinks or even wanting to cut calories and still enjoying what they love. If possible though, I would suggest asking a friend if you know one who has a Soda Stream to be able to try it out. it does take a bit of effort though in terms of making the bottle yourself but overall it really is simple. For me if I am planning on making a bottle I will throw a few water filled bottles in the fridge to get chilled for later in the day. Sure, it may not be as simple as opening a can or twisting off a top from a bottle of Pepsi, But it certainly has a better feeling drinking it knowing that it isn’t loaded with sugar and unnecessary calories!

Do you have a Soda Stream

if so, Do you like it or regret your purchase

Answer in the comments below!

-StaySeeJ

What I have in my “Weight Loss and Mental Health” book

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Before I begin, I will state this, I do know there are apps and things that you can do for this. I find that for myself personally I cannot use an app due tot he fact that I find it very “mind numbing”. Think about how many times you click to your phone, And you check the time but you only are finding yourself checking back less than 30 seconds later because you forget what time it is? That’s how I feel about when I use weight loss apps. I feel like by punching in my calories or anything it makes me not realize the power that my food has or if I have a bad day I can simply forget it. I do however use a fitbit so I use their app for sometimes monitoring my exercise since the convenience is really easy, I also tend to use it for sometimes tracking my weight. But overall I don’t typically use an app. Oh, but I have used it also if I am stuck on calories and want to find something for a new thing that I have eaten!

As you may have already guessed, By not using anything in terms of apps for tracking my calories, Yes, I do write everything in a note book. I write it down because I feel like at the end of the day it really sinks in as to what I have eaten. Sometimes Ill even write throughout the day what I have eaten and keep count of calories as the day goes on, sometimes I will keep track in my notepad in my phone and write in the calories after a few days, sometimes I will write the calories I eat on post- it and put that on the day so I can write it in my physical book. It really depends on what I am feeling but ultimately I end up writing it in the book. My biggest flaw in doing this is that when I have a few bad days, instead of reflecting and and writing down my thoughts or feelings in the day, I feel like the book is not trash. Maybe it is because I feel like when I mess up the days the book is useless and I feel like every day should be tracked perfectly. I have recently started a new book, or at least outlining the days, and I made a promise to myself I would keep it. There is over 200 pages in there and I should not be going through and re-doing book after book. And before you even ask, Yes, I do re-use the books after rotating through but I do throw them away after so many pages is gone and I feel like it is a waste. I often forget that I used to do this when I lost 30 pounds before. I just need to get back into the habit again!

As you may or may not be surprised to hear, I also don’t keep track of those macros or micros or whatever else have you. if you are familiar with my previous blog posts you will see that I do not eat nearly enough healthy foods to even bother tracking that right now. I strictly limit my calories and eat whatever I want. Mind you if I eat a chocolate bar at 9am and find myself starving at 9pm I will normally reflect on this moment and think maybe I shouldn’t have wasted those calories earlier in the day or I wouldn’t be starving now. I try to aim to eat between 1200-1500. However I do have a max of 1750 for things, Like if I eat a serving of some type of nuts for example, they are normally higher in calories but they are good for you. So instead of overeating it I typically just count that in.

I also keep track of exercise and I think that goes without saying. I typically try to do 40 minutes on my elliptical a day. I don’t see this as too much and I think it is totally reasonable. Once I get a bit of a plateau I would like to also add in some 30 minutes workout DVD’s which will be easier for me to do once my son is older as I can put him in the playpen and I am sure he will want to do this along with me. However I do not want to start that now as I feel like I could be overwhelmed and give up. I also have some small hand weights a well that I would eventually add in however that wont be anytime soon though.

I keep track now, for when I smoke weed too. I find by doing this I am more conscious about over eating especially if that is the reason why. Obviously once we become pregnant again I wont need to but til then it is helpful. I set a goal of how much I would like to smoke during the month and try to stick to that. I know I need to stop smoking so much really. But seeing it as an overview helps to see that maybe I need to cut back or take a few days off.

And lastly, but certainly not least. I have a spot for mental health and self care. Sometimes I forget and by sometimes I mean quite often I forget that I need to take some care for myself. I need to take a moment to do something for myself which I always put second in my life. It is a lot easier for me to schedule in this time because if I didn’t otherwise I wouldn’t do it. Which is why in my streams I schedule art ones. Its kind of killing 2 birds with one stone by streaming a bit more and having a creative outlet as well. Even something as simple as having a bath and watching a show or doing absolutely nothing. It helps me keep some sort of normalcy especially where I don’t work and barely leave the house due to Covid being around as well too.

If I am missing anything that I should include, Let me know!
I am always looking for ways to make my diary for exercise and healthy living better but sometimes we get stuck in a rut and are unable to see new things.

What do you keep track of if you are in the process of losing weight too

-StaySeeJ


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Using Mental Health As An Excuse For Poor Behavior

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Before I begin, I want to make it very clear. Mental Health is no joke. People have legitimate health problems and need to have help with that regardless of if it is by going to a doctor, getting on medications, talking to someone or just adopting new self care habits to be better as a person by coping better with these issues. Whether it be anxiety or depression, ADHD or OCD, there are many types of things and if you have one of these and someone else does everyone has different experiences. I am in no way down playing that mental health can be a reason why some people don’t do things or do them. This is going to be talking about people who habitually do harmful things and use their mental health as an excuse.

There are many people, especially on “Streamer Twitter”, who seem to use their mental health as a reason for treating others badly. They may write snappy or shady tweets with people and say they were having a bad mental health day. This is completely wrong and should be called out. Sure, people could argue with me and say they didn’t mean it, or they didn’t think about it when it happened, or it slipped out, but that is not okay. Whether or not you are having a bad day mental health wise, under no circumstances should you be trying to put someone else down. If you are having a tough day chances are talking about it is a lot different then talking about someone else. No one else can control your health physically, mentally, emotionally or whatever else you are dealing with than you.

This ties into blaming others for your mental health. “Oh, I seen Johnny Appleseed post about their life and how great it is and now I am feeling bad about mine, I’m going to post a veiled insult towards them and leave it vague so people don’t know who I’m talking about” etc. It may be hard for you or anyone to feel good for others especially if they have good things happening in their life. Remember the golden rule anyone?
“If you have nothing nice to say, Don’t speak”
Sometimes as adults we forget this. We teach it to our children that some things are better left unsaid and as adults we always feel like we need to be saying whatever is on our mind regardless of if it hurts anyone. After we find out we may have hurt someone with our words we find ourselves making an excuse. Whether that be something is happening at home, You had bad news, You were having a bad mental health day, An episode of some sort was happening, whatever.

Policing online social media is becoming a very big thing. I have noticed this based on the circles I follow on twitter for example. Here is the situation. Someone may commit suicide or they may discuss a traumatic life event, like abuse or rape. Someone or many people who follow this person or see the topic arise will tweet or post about how they do not want to see this on their timeline and that they shouldn’t be posting this in the open to the world because it effects their mental health. They want to have a timeline free from their triggers and memories so they try to police what others may have said. This goes with differing opinions as well too. If someone thinks mental health is over played a lot, and someone has diagnosed problems, they feel the need to tell off the person with a differing opinion instead of taking this time to educate someone on the effects that one may have by posting opinions like that.

Spending too much time on Social Media, in my opinion, could be a major reason why some people have mental health struggles. Instead of taking time away when we feel down we go online where we are surrounded by things that can bring us down further, such as others success, images that make us feel sad, or whatever else we may encounter when browsing the web. The best thing I have done recently is trying to take time away from social media. I write on my laptop in the living room a lot and don’t nearly spend half as much time on the PC as I did before. My laptop is quite old so many tasks are not able to be performed on it. I simply use it to check twitter and discord and write these when I am feeling a free moment when my son is playing independently. I spend time in my books and writing things down for planners and schedules and what not. I love to hand write things and if I can do it offline then I will do it since I know if makes me feel a lot better or at ease with myself when I am away from the the online world.

Being diagnosed with a mental health issue does NOT make you a professional. That statement is bold, Yes, but it also couldn’t be more true. If you have Anxiety you are not a professional. If someone is reaching out for ideas or questions about this, sure you are able to put in your thoughts about it. But do not try to tell someone that their concerns are invalid because maybe they haven’t been diagnosed with it like you have, or that because they are experiencing things in a different way that they must not have the same diagnosis that you do because the illness presents itself different in you. This is not fair and can be extremely damaging to someone. Their feelings and thoughts are very much real to them even if you may not think so.

Regardless of what you have been diagnosed with or how well versed on a subject you might be when it comes to mental health, it still does not give you the excuse ever, to put others down. Poor behavior is not to be excused by poor mental health. That being said, if you do have a lapse in judgement and treat someone badly or try to put something out in the world to harm others, admit that. It may see hard and like a tough thing to do at the time. However the feeling you get when you admit this fault after the fact will be better and the payout worth while. On the flip side also, If someone has done something towards you, or something that was intentionally made to hurt you, take the high road. Block or mute someone, reach out privately about how you may have seen whatever happened in a not so clear way too. Sometimes others don’t realize what they are doing is hurtful, just as you may not realize what you have said to be hurtful either!

Do you know people who use mental health as a blanket excuse for poor behavior?
Do they try to police others on how to think or feel?
Have you found yourself in these situations before?

Let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

-StaySeeJ

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Weight Loss Wednesday #2 Jan 21st/2021-Feb 3nd/2021 [20 days]

Life, Uncategorized, Wednesday Weightloss, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I need to be held accountable. Simple as that.

I have decided to do so, I will be bringing you along the weight loss journey. We recently have gotten AMAZING News about moving back to my home province so that means weight loss before baby number 2. And I mean I have to hammer down NOW! I will be writing blogs every other Wednesday til about June or so when we move. Every 2 weeks I will update (with pictures!!)

Three criteria: Days I smoked weed, Days I exercised, and Days under calories (Max 1500). Along with triumphs and struggles. And updated side and front photos too. Normally I pick subjects and write about them and if they become relevant schedule them or write about a current subject as it pops up. Not this time. Chances are you are reading this blog and it was written last night. I will have photos of calendars that I will be filling out to see things easier and an overview of how I am doing. I wont be typing up what exactly I eat in a day as I do not have the time to do that but this will be a good overview for all you visual readers! Simple “X” Day’s mean that I failed at the calendar’s goals. While if I pass I will briefly fill it in. If I am under my calories I will Highlight it with a marker, if I don’t smoke weed it will be colored in, and if I exercise I will briefly write it in ie: Elliptical 40 mins, Exercise DVD, etc. and I will write a reflection on each calendar and then a brief spot after for my struggles and victories of the week!

If you are someone who is familiar with my blogs you know that I struggle with weight loss, I have most of my life and recently wrote about it too, You can read that blog here.

My low goal is to lose 30lbs before we move. Which is no over-reaching. If I lose anywhere from 30-50lbs that would be a major bonus for me. My starting weight is 242.4lbs. I know. I feel like a whale and need to take control of myself again. The goal before baby number 2 is cooking in there is under 210lbs. It is totally doable I just need to hammer down and stop eating my feelings, good and bad.

**** If some of this is repeating the new info is below, you can read the first blog post here regarding the weight loss journey!

Current Weight : 237.0lbs (DOWN 5.4lbs)
Measurements
Waist -47.0 Inches (No Change)
Hips -53.5 Inches (Down .5 Inches)
Bust – Over – 45.5 Inches (Down .5 Inches)
-Under – 41.5 INches (UP 2.0 Inches)
Thighs – Left – 30.5 Inches (No Change)
-Right – 39.5 Inches (UP .5 Inches)
Arms – Left – 14.5 Inches (UP 1.0 Inches
– Right- 14.5 Inches (No Change)

Exercise Log

No description available.

Old Goal: Workout 8 out of 14 Days
10 Days worked out!
WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT!
Having completed the goal of working out I think I will probably stick to this again. I find workout is not nearly a problem for me. I put on a show on my Computer where my Elliptical is and I just go to town. I find this time to be passed faster watching a show and fully getting deep into it. Currently I am watching the Vampire Diaries which when I am done if I can find it on Amazon Prime I will hopefully be watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the 5th time or something. I like watching shows with female leads that have the body shape I want. I find it to be motivating when I can picture myself striving for that!
New goal: 10 out of 14 days worked out!

Under Calories

No description available.

Old Goal: 10 out of 14 days Under Calories
6 Days out of 14 were under calories.
This is a struggle for me however I am confident that the next 2 weeks will be great! I will like to add that there were some days there that were JUST over 1500 calories so technically they were over but if I worked out that day and counted the calories burned from the workout I would have been safe in terms of under. However I don’t workout and add those calories in I just count calories and let the workout speak for itself. The only day I can really foresee being over calories is Valentines day since we will probably be ordering in some food however that is basically all. Maybe an added cheat day. I set a goal below but will try to be under a lot more also too!
New goal is 10 days out of 14 under calories.

Days Smoked Weed

No description available.

As you can see smoking weed was a bit better. Many more no smoking days than before however I still smoked over the 4 max smoking day limit I set for myself. Thankfully for me a friend of mine and I have a little competition going for February. She won’t be drinking Wine and I wont be smoking weed. Little does she know I think she will cave before me, but don’t tell her that! So the new goal is NO weed at all for February hopefully we see lots of colors showing no weed days!

Struggles

Have been over eating. However when I do over eat the days haven’t all collided together which I am happy about. I didn’t completely self sabotage myself this time only a little bit. Smoking weed is a challenge as well and I hope by not smoking in February that will really help me to jump start my weight loss. If I can be under 225 by the end of the month or really close that will be a huge motivator in itself for me!

Victories

A major victory for me is working out. I think I am back into a steady routine now that it will really help me to keep going. I never had a problem with working out when I get in to the habit of doing it, the problem for me was food and over eating to the point my work out was just maintaining my weight it was never helping to lose it. I cannot wait to see where I am at the end of the month with no smoking weed!

Reflection

I am finally in a place where I can say I am excited about weight loss. If I can do this correctly and really stick to my guns about over eating, no weed, and working out I think February will be a fantastic month for me. My goal is to be around 225 pounds by the end or even close would be good. Then if I keep at a 10lb weight loss. End of March would be around 215 pounds and end of February would be 205 pounds. This will be huge for me before we try for a second baby and I couldn’t be happier! Here is to a kick butt month!

-StaySeeJ

Living with Allergies

Life, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

It all started when I was younger and slowly getting sick every single Christmas. Til I was about 9 years old my family even had a real Christmas tree. Mind you I had already been diagnosed with asthma so my parents kind of chalked it up to that during the winter months however my symptoms would go away mostly after Christmas. When the tree was taken down I seemed to be fine. Piled on by a bunch of weird things I would do like snuggle a friends litter of kittens to playing in the woods my parents had no idea what would suddenly make me sick and then it would go away, Not without most times triggering an asthma attack though. It wasn’t until someone had suggested that I should get an allergy test and see what really is making me have these fits of coughing and sneezing and whatever else there was.

If you aren’t familiar with how an allergy test works I will explain. First of all I only really had this done when I was about 9 years old. I know they perhaps could have changed how things are done but as far as I know they still may be doing this. When I went I remember my mom had to take me. We had to wait for a specialist for it. They talked to my mom about things that could potentially be most of what I think was checked was environmental allergens. Like trees, grass, cats and dogs, maybe even peanut butter too. Just certain things that were typical of triggering allergies. I had to take off my shirt and lay down face down on a table. I could feel cool drops of what felt like water on my back. After I felt pin pricks. The specialist was then picking where different drops were. You leave the drops on for so many seconds and then when they are wiped away you can run your fingers along the dots to see which is raised for an allergic reaction. For me the biggest ones were, pine trees, cats, straw, freshly cut grass, dust and a few more which I think I have grown out of.

As a child, I think living with allergies was hard. Mind you I never had food allergies which I think would be even more challenging it was a bit frustrating not to have a real Christmas tree after I was 9. Now it doesn’t bother me as much since no one really has a tree that is real now a days, but before it did. It was frustrating to have friends whose cat had kittens and after cuddling them I would be wheezy and have the sniffles from them rubbing all over me. Especially if one of them scratched me while playing and that scratch was a raised bump as well too. Or having the windows closed while my dad mowed the lawn so the house wouldn’t become filled with the scent.

As an adult, I don’t think living with allergies was all that hard. I know that i just normally avoid things. When my boyfriend and I adopted our cat. For a while he made us both sneeze and sniffle. However now that we have had him for nearly 8 years he really doesn’t bother us anymore. Though when he cuddles up and gives me a hug (Yes, my cat really does that!) or he drools on my shoulders he does still make me a bit itchy or my eyes feel like sandpaper. As far as scents go, I am still very much allergic to the smell of a Christmas tree. I buy scented wax to warm in warmers and one is called “Iced Pine” I can very rarely put it on and even if I do it is only for a little while as I typically start coughing or sneezing a lot! But I still enjoy that.

My mom has an allergy to penicillin and phosphates as well too. At least that’s how I think you spell them both! One of them is a preservative in foods which I bet you can image it is in a whole load of foods. Whats worse is she could eat something many many times before but if something slightly changes in the food itself she could become allergic to it. She can’t or shouldn’t eat the coconut chocolate snow balls. However if she eats one she is normally okay any more and she will start to get hives or her allergies will be triggered. Though her allergy was and is far more intense then my own are for nature and the outside world. Something with too much of that could really be bad for her or have her throat even close over.

My dad also is lactose intolerant. Which is a type of allergy and was something the had start later in life. I remember him always drinking milk and enjoying milk all the time only to later in life not be able to eat it anymore or it really upsets his stomach. I think when it comes to food allergies it is one thing have them your entire life but another thing when you are so used to eating a particular food to have you unable to digest it properly. I know for me, if I was suddenly unable to have milk I would be devastated. Especially since I do drink and consume a lot of products that do contain it.

At the end of the day, as many allergens I have to things outside and in my environment I would much rather have those types of allergies then ones to food. That would not be a fun time I don’t think. Especially if you always had to check out food labels for the specific ingredient and ensure you are able to eat them though. And though I don’t really consider my allergies to be severe to live with, maybe even calling them mild would be pushing it too. They could always be a far worse and for that I am okay with it!

What are you allergic to? Do you even have any allergies? Did you know about them your whole life or was it something that you developed later?

-StaySeeJ08

New Year’s Resolutions

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If you are reading this you will probably notice this is released WAY before New Years Eve. Mostly because I would like to take 2 weeks off from blogging (Officially since I have been on mini hiatus through out the year) and spend some time with my little family since it will be the first one for my son!

New Years Resolutions are tricky. You have the typical I want to save money or I want to lose weight. Where everyone goes hard on making these goals happen while falling off the wagon so to speak at the end of January. Typically I do not really set goals or haven’t done really resolutions in a very very long time. Not that I can remember anyways. This year I want to do something different though. I want to try to set myself up for success BEFORE the new year begins and have a solid, sustainable plan. I would like to do some things so that if I slack I can make life a bit easier and not have to worry about slacking off.

First what I am doing is laying out a plan. Not in my planner per-say but in my content creation scribbler. This is where I go through with the help of a calender and write out all the dates for specific things ie: All the days in a month down the page for streaming so I can accurately keep track of my streams and how long I stream. I wrote out all of the dates blogs will release so every single Tuesday and Saturday so that I can just fill in the title and how many words are in each (With the goal being a 1000 minimum for each). I also will be writing every Monday and Friday for the different youtube videos that I would like to be putting out as well too. This way I can see dates that are upcoming and figure out if they are around a holiday, Do I want to do something before or use that subject for it, whatever the case might be. I have an agenda but I mostly us this for other goals and things. My scribbler is something that I carry over from year to year!

Blogs, I would like to pre-write 25 at least. I know this seems daunting however I would like to write a book (Another blog subject!) and if i can get a bunch of blogs written before hand I can just schedule them as the time comes. And if a subject is more relavant than another I can switch them around. Not to mention if we hopefully get pregnant with baby number 2 next year that is a whole new batch of blogs so if I am able to do something ahead of time on subjects that won’t be changing ie: Types of food I like, I want to write a book, What I keep track of when trying to lose weight etc, It can help me keep busy and not snack in the mean time! Though if I post a review or something that wont be schedule I will just post them as it happens. Reviews are a lot longer than these by about 500 words so for me to post them willy nilly it really wont be an issue! Just as long as I have seen the movie or show I want to review!

I want to write a book. I have a bit of a start by researching types of mythical creatures but overall I would like to start with a mini series of short stories. Where each book focuses on a types of mythical creatures, so an example would be perhaps like classics ie: vampires and werewolves and witches. And so on. These short stories will be anywhere from 7500-10,000 words each with approximately 5 stories in each book. My goal would be to start with writing one of these books. If I get more bonus. To achieve this I will be scheduling in some writing time each week so that I can just write. The key is being disciplined enough to actually write when I schedule it. I would ultimately like to write a series simular to Harry Potter but I feel like starting with these would be kind of neat and work on my creativity as well too.

And one of the last goals I have and certainly not least, Losing weight. I want to continue to lose weight. I feel like it is extremely harder for me to lose weight right now especially since giving birth to my son. But I would much rather be my current weight as the max weigth with baby number 2 than gain as much as I did with my son. That was a lot of weight and I know it will probably be much harder this time around while caring for him and pregnant. I feel like I am in a good place where I am not really smoking as much weed which is a huge success. Obviously I indulge a bit over the holidays but we will be right back at it though. If I want to lose weight I cannot smoke as much weed as I have been. I self sabotage myself so much that I need to learn to not do that anymore. Truth be told, I feel a lot better though since slowing down the smoking since I am not completely eating a weeks worth of calories by bingeing in an hour!

Overall time will tell if I stick to these resolutions, The major thing I think will be if and when we move back home. I am looking forward to having out own house again, our own space and privacy. I would like to be able to paint and decorate our house and have a bedroom where I don’t have to crawl out of bed but I can walk around the entire thing. I would like to be a drive away from my parents even If I don’t end up going there often because I am lay the possibility will still be there again and that is exciting!

Do you make resolutions for the new year?
Did you use to and don’t now?

Let me know in the commented below! I’m curious!

-StaySeeJ08