Tag Archives: Mental

Inside my Mental Health Journal

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When I first lost weight before I used a calorie counting journal. By doing this I also lost 30+ pounds. Though over the years, 10 plus, there has been some changes within them. As Ive aged I focus on certain things more so than others. Before it was just simple, count the calories. Exercise and that was it. Now I have included more things spiritually like how I feel that day, was I struggling, things like that. Only because there are more things I think I should be focusing on, Even self care or putting creams on my face. Habits I need to build that I no longer could on my own but keeping track is that much better.

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I know what a lot of people are probably thinking. Why do you write things out? I write things out because if I use an app (which works great for millions of people!) It never really “sinks in”. It makes me feel like a robot imputing data and I never really am aware about what I put into it. By writing it out, taking the time to do so, it makes things really click that I am aware about what I am doing. Maybe I have an off day and I’m writing longer than normal. Maybe I am having a great day and it goes super well and I have decorated the page. It really just depends. I prefer this way because it works for me!

I dont buy fancy books either. I buy a simple plain notebook and write my own outlines within it. I talk about how much I love notebooks in the blog here however when it comes to me and notebooks if I mess up, which to me is skipping days etc, I always feel like I need a fresh start. If I was buying notebooks pre-written I would be wasting even more more money than I do now on those things! Not to mention, even pre-writing the pages is helping to serve the purpose of also keeping my hands busy when I am sitting around in the evenings. I write a few pages or a few weeks worth of outlines and keeping my hands occupied.

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I also keep track of my exercise in there. And when I say that It could be anything. Maybe I spend an hour really cleaning certain things in my home or gardening or maybe shoveling snow in the winter time or something. I try to keep track of activities even dancing that I do without it having to be exercise in the typical way one would think. Sometimes I dont give myself credit when I should and this is one of those things!

I also put notes at the bottom in case something happened. Maybe we went out for a dinner and I ate over my calories so this was a way for me to note why I may have eaten a lot more than I would. When I have days where we may order take out or maybe we are eating in a restaurant those are worth noting like all of them however a reason is good to see if we are ordering too much.

One of my toxic things about doing this is that I have 2 problems. One of those problems is that when I miss a few days of counting or tracking I have a tendency to stop writing anything down and I leave the book alone. I feel like because I missed a day and it wasn’t filled out perfectly that I am wasting my time and that is not even realistic in my way of thinking. I need to remember that there may be days here and there that I dont really want to fill it out or I forgot or maybe at the end of the day it was just too much. Life is not perfect but that is no reason to disregard anything that I have dont that could have been progress. The second one is that when I do fall into the not writing things down behavior I do a really big deal out of a minor inconvenience and I try to start over as in I wont use the same scribbler. I will re-write the same things I had in the other book and use a new book. But if I dont have any that I really want ot use I will physically go out or order on amazon a new book and write things. I need to stop this mindset. In reality I could be making millions of excuses and I need to just stop and do it for real this time.

You can see some examples here of how I fill out my scribbler. You can also see that I do post daily what I end up eating and what I enjoy more like a daily vlog on tiktok. I want to start that because I feel like the minor editing I can do on the app would be a great thing for me to start doing to occupy my hands again at the end of the night. Plus who doesn’t love to see a feel good story about losing weight. And another way or me to be held accountable is great for me too. I am really looking forward to finally feeling like I am doing something for myself!

I forgot! Kind of?- Self Care Thursday – June 30th 2022

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I actually forgot to write last week! ( and the week before that lol) What is funny is that I actually thought about it more than once how I was even looking forward to the update due to the fact I had so much stuff happening with my dog that it would have felt great to get it off my chest. I didn’t write it. But I guess this week is the update. Not so much fitness but a bit of mental health AND some goals for the summer also too!

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Last week (Well more like 3 weeks now) I had to take my dog to the vet. Mind you he was feeling off and not behaving normally. I dropped him off later (1100$+) to find out that it may be his teeth but also he had a weird part on his chest xray. Fast forward to now and he was trying to get his food but not eating the hard stuff. I tried putting water in to soften it up and he did in fact eat it so Im wondering if maybe it was his teeth after all. They do have tarter he is not a young dog, but it seems go be well I guess for now anyways. I will say that I used these pill pocket treats from the vet and they have been a huge life safer. They are basically a gummy playdoh type treat you push the pills in and hope for the beat. Last time I had to give him pills he caught on with the peanut butter pretty fast and was not feeling taking them so this you literally pop it into his mouth and its done.

So fast forward to now. Everything seems to be going alright. I have recently taking out some money, well waiting for it to get into my account anyways. So I can get my book covers done. Id like the same artist to do all three however that will be challenging financially since it will cost a few hundred dollars. We also are getting home stuff done and need a few bigger items like a new car seat for my youngest as he is way too big for his bucket seat and also getting a second seat for the double stroller. In the summer when my partner is off on parental I’m hoping that we can walk every morning. That is my goal anyways and I hope he is also on bored with it too! I am getting excited to finally release these books and mentally am preparing myself for the fact that the books wont be immediate successes. I need to keep going with that.

I also am struggling (surprise) with weight loss. As usual. I am eating my feelings and my thoughts are not safe in the way that I feel like not eating the next day after a binge. I never binge enough to throw up but I binge enough to feel like complete dog poop. One goal I have said while my spouse is on parental is that I want to be able to go for walks. Recently I have purchased a little board that can go on our stroller for my oldest son. This will help with walks tremendously though. I am so looking forward to doing daily ones because I think it will be a huge thing for me to get energized and I hope we can go right after breakfast so that we get it done and over with. He also wants to get back into a bit better shape so that when he gets back to a regular routine for his job he will be able to not be winded.


As far as writing goes though, I think for the summer I will be writing these updates bi-weekly. He is on parental and I really dont want the pressure of writing these every single week though. I do have blogs to release though on Thursdays a bit more in depth about my life. I know by how I read some of you are maybe questioning things that I eat when I say I am a picky eater etc. This will be a great way for me to keep these active however not majorly thinking about it. I plan on being live more too so if you want to physically be able to talk and chat you are more than welcome to check out the stream here.

Welcome to the New Weekly Blog Segment!

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As some of you amazing readers may remember, last year I started a series of blogs for something I called “Weight Loss Wednesdays”. This was a series I wanted to do for 12 weeks to document my weight loss and hopefully help others along in theirs. I also wanted a little spot to hold myself accountable by making sure that I was keeping on track. I ended up stopping this series due to the fact that I had gotten pregnant with my second son (If you are interested in his crazy birth story you can check it out here!). I did not feel that it was a good idea to be putting weight loss so high up as a priority being pregnant. Not to mention, I was also very nauseous and had major food aversion with him too! So the project was ultimately stopped after so many weeks.

Guess what?

WE ARE BRINGING IT BACK!

Starting in 2022, every Thursday I will be writing a specific blog in regards to mental health, weight loss, exercise, and overall health.

When I started the original series I wanted to share my journey with you all, or anyone who would listen. I want to being this back. We will be hopefully trying for a 3rd child after our youngest is a year (Just like we did when our 1st turned a year also!) And so that gives me an entire year to really hammer down and get my stuff under control. I would like to be under 200lbs. Which give or take would be anywhere from 30-40lbs depending on what I will weight on the 1st week. I will still be doing measurements every 2 weeks with weight loss goals and things being set up on the 1st week. This also should be around the time that I become fully healed from having my 1st cesarean section and am able to do things again. I will be talking about mental health and reflection as a mom of 2 boys and a spouse as well too.

A big part of me wanting to share this journey is that so often we talk about weight loss as being about numbers. The scale, calories, cheat days, etc. There is an overall health aspect to this that I would like to also focus on too. Sometimes it can be nice to vent or express some frustrations with life in a way that others for sure are feeling too. I would eventually love to see people relate to me and find some sort of peace reading that they too are not alone also. I know it does sound crazy of course but I think it could be a very big success to others.

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As you can read in this blog here from a while ago, I am a very picky eater. I do not eat conventional meals or even foods. I barely eat meat. I don’t really eat veggies. And fruits are mainly in the form of juices. However this year I hope to slowly change that or at least broaden some of my eating habits. I will include recipes as well to things I regularly eat and I will do my best to include the triumphs and set backs. I don’t want to call them failures because even trying something new is a major mental hurdle that calling it a failure may really set me back in my mindset.

Exercise is another thing that I want to really be active about. Being a mom of two boys now I do not want to be the mom sitting on the sidelines because she gets winded after playing for 40 seconds. I want to be the mom that can out play them with energy too. As I write this it will be nearing the end (hopefully!) Of healing in terms of my last pregnancy and the way it unexpectedly ended (which you can also read it here, I was terrified!). I do have an elliptical so I am all set in terms of starting again. The hardest part for me I think will be finding a time to workout. As well as balancing things. Ideally I would like to work out between 4-5 days per week. 5 being the goal. And 4 being the minimum. Anything over 5 days per week will be awesome!

I will be using my new agenda (read all about the top 3 things I look for in a new agenda here if you want to know why I am able to use it for weight loss too!) To write in the daily part for my calories and exercise. It will be mainly a more relaxed approach with a focus on just how I am feeling over all not just physically. I think it will be a lot easier to just use my agenda for this instead of making a new journal all of the time. That is a pain in the butt. No joke. And a waste of time. I seriously and going to try to optimize my time in 2022 to use it to the full potential. I know if I keep up I can so it for sure!

So there you have it! I will be writing the first post for this weekly health blog on Thursday, January 6th, 2022. Which so happens to be when I have a doctors appointment for a 6 week post pregnancy check up. I will say that it may be up a little bit later as in the afternoon but that is okay as I will update my appointment in there and how I have healed etc. Hopefully everything will be alright and I can say that I drove myself to the appointment too! I am looking forward to this next chapter and bringing everyone along with me!

What are somethings you remind yourself of when you need motivation for becoming a healthier version of yourself?

Let me know in the comments below, I would love to hear your experiences!

Overcoming a Crummy Relationship

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Overcoming a crummy relationship can really be subjective in the sense what one person may find what someone else does may be something totally different. As usual, these are things that I have found to help or even friends have found to have helped them when they are finding themselves in the middle of a break up.

To be fair, I have only ever had one break up in the romantic sense. For me, I was ready for it to be over so that made things easier. However this was when I was 18 til just turning 20 years old. He was abusive and we had broke up once before. However I was blind and thought I would go back for a second year like that was a good idea. These are some things that I did to help time pass and move on with the fact I was again single!

I focused a lot on friendships. In my situation I was almost isolated from my friends. When we had broken up I found support in friends whom I had disconnected with before. We did a bunch of things like going for drives, or even partying downtown. For the first few years I was legal to drink in Nova Scotia I never did. As I said I was isolated from things. I felt the need to just let things happen and experience the night life that everyone my age was wanting to experience. I feel like I really caught up to a bunch of friends who had been veterans to the bar scene. Getting to spend time and catch up with them was great for me. Some people I had seen across social medias but never had the time or opportunity to really catch up and see what was happening. Focusing on this also helped me to see what healthy relationships they were in, if they were, and kind of remind myself that the relationship I was in was toxic and not healthy.

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Another thing is time. There is no amount of time that you can take to get over a relationship, whether it ended mutually, whether it ended on good or bad terms. You have to be the one to decide whether or not it is time to move on. Sometimes people can move on from a relationship super quickly, other times they can take a long time to move on from a relationship. It really just depends on each individual person. And each relationship can also be different too. Maybe your first one you got over it super easy and the second one took a long longer. There is no right or wrong way to deal with a relationship and how much you need or how little you need to move on.

Another thing I did to try and get over the one relationship that I had that really impacted me was going back to things that I loved. Not just spending time with friends but I mean activities that I also loved. I liked to play games, and I liked to do art. I tried to do these things more often because I never had the chance to before. I put myself into working a bit more due to the fact I was spending most of my money on my ex, I was working a bit more to spend it on myself, finally. Even just chatting on the phone or updating socials and spending time outside can be huge. Sometimes in relationships that might not be great we end up losing a bit of ourselves and pushing aside things that you might regularly love, only to find yourself revisiting that when you are in a healthy and happy mindset.

One thing that I really wanted to do when I felt like looking up towards a relationship again was take my time. My current boyfriend of nearly 11 years understood that when I explained it to him. I wanted to really get to know him before we started to get serious. Just spend a lot of time together before hand and understand what we both wanted in life and with each other. My previous relationship I barely knew the guy and felt like I became trapped. This time it was super weird and I was happy that my current partner and I were able to build that strong foundation to be where we are today. It honestly still feels like a dream and I feel very fortunate to be able to call him my life mate.

Regardless of how long you have been with someone, or how it ended, remember, no one can dictate how you feel or how you are supposed to overcome any relationship, especially crummy ones. Sometimes being along and binge watching a comfort show on Netflix is the way to go. For me, I wanted to reconnect with people and just enjoy all of the things that I was held back from for so long. Including the bar scene, and other things like hanging with friends, going for drives for junk food and listening to old school music. I also wanted to just enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever I wanted without restrictions and someone telling me what I could or couldnt do. That was huge for me especially with being stuck with the dumb ex for the previous 2 years. I am glad when I was transitioning to this relationship that I am currently in that I was able to really find who I was again, and not rush into another one. I feel like the break for me was completely necessary! And for some, maybe the break is not necessary at all either! Every person is different.

Have you ever had to overcome a crummy relationship in the past?
If so, Was there anything that you remember doing, that you are glad you did to help you move past this difficult time?

Let me know in the comments below! Some other readers might also be looking for some new tips and tricks too!

Using Mental Health As An Excuse For Poor Behavior

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Before I begin, I want to make it very clear. Mental Health is no joke. People have legitimate health problems and need to have help with that regardless of if it is by going to a doctor, getting on medications, talking to someone or just adopting new self care habits to be better as a person by coping better with these issues. Whether it be anxiety or depression, ADHD or OCD, there are many types of things and if you have one of these and someone else does everyone has different experiences. I am in no way down playing that mental health can be a reason why some people don’t do things or do them. This is going to be talking about people who habitually do harmful things and use their mental health as an excuse.

There are many people, especially on “Streamer Twitter”, who seem to use their mental health as a reason for treating others badly. They may write snappy or shady tweets with people and say they were having a bad mental health day. This is completely wrong and should be called out. Sure, people could argue with me and say they didn’t mean it, or they didn’t think about it when it happened, or it slipped out, but that is not okay. Whether or not you are having a bad day mental health wise, under no circumstances should you be trying to put someone else down. If you are having a tough day chances are talking about it is a lot different then talking about someone else. No one else can control your health physically, mentally, emotionally or whatever else you are dealing with than you.

This ties into blaming others for your mental health. “Oh, I seen Johnny Appleseed post about their life and how great it is and now I am feeling bad about mine, I’m going to post a veiled insult towards them and leave it vague so people don’t know who I’m talking about” etc. It may be hard for you or anyone to feel good for others especially if they have good things happening in their life. Remember the golden rule anyone?
“If you have nothing nice to say, Don’t speak”
Sometimes as adults we forget this. We teach it to our children that some things are better left unsaid and as adults we always feel like we need to be saying whatever is on our mind regardless of if it hurts anyone. After we find out we may have hurt someone with our words we find ourselves making an excuse. Whether that be something is happening at home, You had bad news, You were having a bad mental health day, An episode of some sort was happening, whatever.

Policing online social media is becoming a very big thing. I have noticed this based on the circles I follow on twitter for example. Here is the situation. Someone may commit suicide or they may discuss a traumatic life event, like abuse or rape. Someone or many people who follow this person or see the topic arise will tweet or post about how they do not want to see this on their timeline and that they shouldn’t be posting this in the open to the world because it effects their mental health. They want to have a timeline free from their triggers and memories so they try to police what others may have said. This goes with differing opinions as well too. If someone thinks mental health is over played a lot, and someone has diagnosed problems, they feel the need to tell off the person with a differing opinion instead of taking this time to educate someone on the effects that one may have by posting opinions like that.

Spending too much time on Social Media, in my opinion, could be a major reason why some people have mental health struggles. Instead of taking time away when we feel down we go online where we are surrounded by things that can bring us down further, such as others success, images that make us feel sad, or whatever else we may encounter when browsing the web. The best thing I have done recently is trying to take time away from social media. I write on my laptop in the living room a lot and don’t nearly spend half as much time on the PC as I did before. My laptop is quite old so many tasks are not able to be performed on it. I simply use it to check twitter and discord and write these when I am feeling a free moment when my son is playing independently. I spend time in my books and writing things down for planners and schedules and what not. I love to hand write things and if I can do it offline then I will do it since I know if makes me feel a lot better or at ease with myself when I am away from the the online world.

Being diagnosed with a mental health issue does NOT make you a professional. That statement is bold, Yes, but it also couldn’t be more true. If you have Anxiety you are not a professional. If someone is reaching out for ideas or questions about this, sure you are able to put in your thoughts about it. But do not try to tell someone that their concerns are invalid because maybe they haven’t been diagnosed with it like you have, or that because they are experiencing things in a different way that they must not have the same diagnosis that you do because the illness presents itself different in you. This is not fair and can be extremely damaging to someone. Their feelings and thoughts are very much real to them even if you may not think so.

Regardless of what you have been diagnosed with or how well versed on a subject you might be when it comes to mental health, it still does not give you the excuse ever, to put others down. Poor behavior is not to be excused by poor mental health. That being said, if you do have a lapse in judgement and treat someone badly or try to put something out in the world to harm others, admit that. It may see hard and like a tough thing to do at the time. However the feeling you get when you admit this fault after the fact will be better and the payout worth while. On the flip side also, If someone has done something towards you, or something that was intentionally made to hurt you, take the high road. Block or mute someone, reach out privately about how you may have seen whatever happened in a not so clear way too. Sometimes others don’t realize what they are doing is hurtful, just as you may not realize what you have said to be hurtful either!

Do you know people who use mental health as a blanket excuse for poor behavior?
Do they try to police others on how to think or feel?
Have you found yourself in these situations before?

Let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

-StaySeeJ

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