Tag Archives: life and fun

The time is NOW!!!(For Real) -July 2022 Update

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I know this is probably coming out later than expected for the July Update but honestly, it happens! We are getting very excited. My partner has just taken his parental only 3 months compared to the 9 with our first little one however it couldn’t be at a better time. I am so looking forward to the next few months to have a bit more time to “pretend” like I have a job. If you know what I mean by that!

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One thing I am looking forward to is really tackling getting my books finalized. That being said I have covers being created right now, I have one person doing all three since they are so similar due to them being a trilogy. I will explain more about them in the future obviously I would like it to be a surprise once they come out! I am so happy and yet so very nervous. There is such raw feelings and emotions in these books that I feel extremely exposed. Though I know I am not the only one who can relate to these. That is a huge step for me to see everything coming together in that regard.

I know you guys are probably super sick of hearing this but I am here to say it again for the 14th time. I am going to lose weight. I would say out of all my 2022 goals this is probably the hardest one to reach by far. I am really trying but I get so discouraged. I am sure a lot of you can agree reading blogs like this where I dont lose weight is probably hard. But I am totally taking advantage of the fact that my partner has parental and wanting to lose weight and get ahead of this next and final pregnancy when the time comes. And for the obvious reason that I want to be a healthier version of myself. This time I want to make it different. I want to look at myself and bring back habits when I was working and not able to eat the entire night on the couch. I am going to even be posting mini daily vlogs on my tiktok which you can follow here or at the username @StaySeeJ. I think this is a great way for em to be held accountable and to show you guys what it really is like being a picky eater. I know that I cannot be the only one here who eats this way and I want to show you all that life isn’t just about salads and you can do anything you want to do. This is why I mentioned here about this a little bit on the weekly blogs that for the summer every other week I will have a blog that is pre-written (as you know I do most of the times anyways) I really want to hammer down and show you guys that obviously my food habits are an issue but I can still lose weight or be better at not using toxic behaviors like binge eating nightly I can still have balance.

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As you know I will never limit myself when it comes to snacks and things however I will do things a bit differently in terms of eating. I dont count macros or micros or whatever ohs I always just counted calories. I am trying to think of healthier alternatives though like these reese bars . I also have a can of slim fast chocolate that I hope to put to good use. As I have said before the hardest part for me is when I at at night watching TV like I need to eat food. One big thing I did the other day was that I brushed my teeth early on. I was literally thinking why am I getting these chips. What is the reason? and the only thing I could think of was boredom so I got up brush my teeth and never ate anything else for the rest of the night. That’s progress to me.

Another thing I am so excited about is to be live more also too! Since May I have been doing fantastic in terms of streaming. I have been pretty good at keeping my schedule going. I have had some days off and I have had some shorter streams but knock on wood I have been doing great while trying to be regularly live again. Going live is something I enjoy doing and getting back into it and feeling as great as I do since before I had kids. I feel like I am finally putting it on the forefront again (Obviously with 2 kids I have a good enough reason to not be regular but as a parent we sometimes put ourselves last all of the time when we need to remember we also are important) Check out this blog here if you want to see how I put myself first in more depth. I also am excited to finally have a great background using these lights for my stream area. The two strings that I used fairy lights for one and the second set were round bulbs however not warm white like here the multi color version . The entire side and stream looks fantastic. I may even be preparing for a revamp/re brand here in the near future! Even with a mascot too! I will be streaming now 5 days a week temporarily by just adding Tuesday and Thursdays which I am very excited to be live then. I will be live in the day time and keeping the other 3 days (Monday/Friday evenings and Sunday Mornings) And streaming from about 12 noon Atlantic time (11am EST) and going till about 4pm Atlantic Time (3pm EST). It will be a great time and I am so looking forward to it!

I have a baby on me so this blog update is late and scuffed – March 2022 Update

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Im slacking. Majorly. Normally this update is done or at least partially. Not this update. This update is literally being typed up as one kid is beside me having a meltdown between putting mega blocks together and the other is kicking and laughing at the other.

For lack of a better term. This month was straight up sh*t. If you have been following any of my socials you would see a little bit of it. But here is the timeline if how the month went. And yes, therr are some good things also!

First we started with an ice storm. This sucked. We lost power on a Friday about 2pm or so and never got it back til Sunday at about 12pm noon. On top of this there was freezing temperatures which sucked also. We had been able to stay at my parents with our sons because they had power and only had lost it a little bit on the Friday. Thankful they live close to us and we were able to actually stay there with our dog and the boys. Even if it was tough living in another home.

Once we had power again we had no heat. So we assumed that we had a frozen pipe somewhere. This was Sunday. We had brought the boys over but ended up back to my parents when the house was far too cold as we never had heaters either. So back to their house. Monday we got heaters from a neighbour, friend, rented some etc. We had them going nearly all day so at least it was warm enough for us to sleep back in our own beds. Well. The upstairs had heat after all once we turned the furnace on. However downstairs there was indeed a frozen pipe. Where was it you may ask? Where the old home owners had built a wall and we had NO IDEA there was even a rad there. Thankfully it was near our back door and there was nothing of value there so we never had any extra damage.

Fast forward two weeks. Everything going smoothly. The frozen ice storm nightmare is behind us. Well, did we not get a BUTT LOAD of rain? We did. And it sucked. I had out laundry in at about 1230pm. Once the kids were napping. Guillaume came home at about 4ish because I had asked him to flip the laundry. Well, we had water in our freakin basement! It did not seem like we had that much rain to cause a flood. Thankfully we had water that pooled in areas however it was nothing serious. However a major inconvenience none the less.

And here we are in March. Thankful that all the house errors are in the past. It makes it extremely hard when you move to a new home and still are learning so much about it! Especially where certain rads are!

So on to good stuff! My son will be 2 years old tomorrow! Normally I would write a blog about it but this year we are just excited to be home! It really is special to be here so my dad and son can celebrate their birthdays together. This is huge and we couldn’t be more happier. We will have a great supper at my moms and it will be a fun time I am sure. It is his first birthday we can actually soend with family due to covid too. It really is insane to think 2 years has past since we had a baby!

Another great thing for me is I am creating 3 poetry collections to publish. I recently had published an eBook with email sign up as a sampler for the collections that will be released. My hope is to keep growing my email list so that it becomes a great place for different aspects of my writing or content creations. I am so excited for this to happen and I would like it to be really successful also. I think this could be my passion.

Another thing is working out and weight loss. I need to stop being a sad sack of garbage and making excuses and actually do something. I know that I can be the best I can be and lose weight. I make so many excuses and I need to stop. I want to lost 10lbs this month. I also have a max of 10 days to smoke weed too. And I also have 7 no workout days. Every other one I want to do more. I know I can lose weight as I have before. It is just a matter of actually doing it and making it happen. Which can be obviously challenging for me. But I really think March can be my month. I would like to lose some weight before my partner is on Parental leave and we do more walks and things too. I can do it.

As for streams, well with everything February is low key a bust so I really hope that I can bring back for March and April (I know getting ahead of myself!) Because while Guillaume is on parental I hope to pick up a few extra days a week of streams for the time he is off so about 3 months. Hopefully bring myself back to where I was before I had taken so much time off as well as the move and things too.

Overall I am glad that our hiccups were not bigger and we are in a financial position to be able to handle these things (not saying we want anymore!!) But it could have been worse if we we’re struggling in that way though. Things can always be worse and I try to look at that as we were frustrated!

3 Shows We Avoid Watching with Our 2 Year Old

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When it comes to having your toddler or small child watching TV I think it goes without saying, you are the parent and you decide what they watch or how often they watch it. There is no right or wrong way to allow this to happen. That being said, I have seen places where they talk about not allowing any child under 2 watch TV. This might be particularly challenging if you have multiple children of various ages. Are you going to tell them no to a TV show because they have a younger sibling? Or are you going to compromise and put a TV show om for a period of time. If you decide to put a TV show on, here is the 3 shows we will not be showing in our household.

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The wiggles is a show that I honestly have not seen a whole lot about but know that once you start it can be very obsessive. This is based on the fact that whenever they were doing shows around the world pre-covid people all over my Facebook with small children would be posting how they want tickets or whatever for their little kids. For me, I am not a fan of any type of show that has adults jumping and playing and singing songs the entire time. I will admit I could be way off on this and the show might be OK but in this house we will be doing our best to avoid it at all costs. And before I hear “But Blue’s Clues has an adult doing those things” not really. It has a host yes, but the main character is a puppy ans they learn and do things. There is just something that I want to avoid and shows such as this or even the one that was popular when I was growing up “Imagination Movers” are shows that I would honestly like to avoid when it comes to allowing my child to have any screen time!

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Baby Shark or Peppa Pig are shows we also are trying to avoid. For obvious reasons. Now as an adult, Peppa is a spunky pig. But as a child I do not want my kids to be learning how to be spunky and back talk me! Maybe when they are older and want to watch and understand that she is a bit out their in terms of defying her parents sure, but as they are learning no. Another reason why we aren’t watching shows such as Baby Shark is again the obsession it had caused. I heard this song far more often before I had kids due to everyone talking about it or videos being made with the song that I honestly am just over it! We do not need to introduce a song that will lead to an obsession. Sure, they will probably like it. But as an adult, you don’t want to make it a problem where whenever your child is upset you put it on. Or whenever you turn it off you find yourself dealing with a temper tantrum. You as the parent are in control of what your child watches. I personally do not want TV to be an obsession or a way to relieve a tantrum unless maybe your little one is sick. Even then I dont want to rely on a TV show or songs to divert a crisis. My partner and I already sing enough of the Blue’s Clues songs we really do not want to add to that list of songs by these that you hear for months and months after the first are heard!

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And, last, but certainly not least. The number one show we will never ever ever play in our home, is Caillou. This kid is a straight up brat. As a teenager or older child we actually made fun of how Caillou was. He whined and cried whenever he did not get his way. His parents kind of let him do it. And when he had a sister Rosie come along it was just the same! This is basically the exact opposite of what type of child we hope to avoid when it comes to raising our children. Not to mention the fact that he still never changes through all of the seasons. Be still wants everything to be about him with everyone around him. His grandparents, neighbors, friends and everything else. The fact that this show has finally also been cancelled due to the fact that the kid is a menace. Apparently some episodes are even banned by PBS due to the fact that the kid is a big old meany. Sure, as kids grow up they have to be able to learn things and explore how to properly behave but when it comes to Caillou there really is no learning in the many episodes where he properly learns to behave with nearly a melt down every single show.

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I am sure there are plenty of other shows out there that can be really off putting and parents avoid at all costs. These are just the shows that I will continue to try my best to avoid at all costs. And mentioned in the blog post here where I talk about the top 3 shows we watch, we really limit our TV time with my son. TV shows are not babysitters and if you are going to put something on to grab your child’s attention for a few moments than that is totally fine. My son watches a bit of TV every day but it is never excessive. It is mostly before bedtime or even the occasional moment when I am prepping food or trying to get him to watch something while I run up and down the stairs to switch over loads of laundry on different levels.

Do you allow your child or toddler to watch TV?
Is there any shows that you choose not to allow to be shown in your house?

Let me know in the comments below, I know there must be some I missed!


3 TV Shows That We Let My Toddler Watch

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Letting your baby or toddler have any screen time can be controversial for a topic by itself. Apparently it has been said children under 2 should not be watching anything on TV. I am in the mind set that as I was the oldest of 3 children, and if I watched TV my younger siblings may have also watched and they turned out just fine. That being said, there are only a few shows we allow my son to watch right now. Let’s chat about which ones they are and why. Before I begin though, remember there is no “right or wrong” way to divide up or limit your child from watching TV. This is a personal parenting choice. However I think it may be debatable if you choose to be a parent to put the TV on with their favorite shows from dawn til dusk to essentially be a babysitter for you.

Number one, and current favorite show for my son is Blue’s Clues as well as Blue’s Clues and You. We put this show on when he was having trouble drinking his bottle at night because he wanted to look or focus on something. I actually used to watch the original series when I was a child. For it to come out and be remade is great. I think my son personally enjoys watching this television show due to the colors that are in the show, the songs and the fact that the host essentially talks to the audience. As he grows he will learn to pick up more and more from it too. Currently he has a peek-a-boo blue which he loves and knew who she was when he was just 10 months old and got her for Christmas. He also is beginning to clap, and laugh at particular parts of the show also. And if they show a part with dancing he will start to dance along too. As annoying as it is for parents to watch the same handful of shows for long periods of times, I would gladly watch Blue’s Clues as apposed to other shows out there.

Next we started to watch the show Bubble Guppies with my son. I remember my sister putting this show on for my niece and nephew. It teaches things and again every episode has some sort of songs. It is repetitive but there is so many episodes that repeating them often would be a challenge. My son again is getting to the age where he starts to dance at songs sometimes also. He is not as interested in this show as he has been on Blue’s Clues but it is probably his second favorite though. Easily. We also put it on simply to change it up when we are all Blue’s Clues out. Since the songs are different and the whole theme is not the same it really helps to break up the repetition especially since each show tends to focus on different things. Though, if it is the same subject matters they always have a different take on approaching it for many ways to learn. The fact that songs mostly change each episode also helps in a big way since we all know as parents how repeating songs can have on us! Sometimes if our son is not enjoying Blue’s Clues we put this on and he tends to enjoy it!

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And lastly, this more so I put on for him which is Octonauts. This is a show similar to Bubble Guppies with different animals rescuing others. It teaches about different sea animals and creatures that need helping from various reasons. Again as many kids shows it has special songs for different events that happen in the show. This show only ever gets put on occasionally because the 1st two mentioned are the major favorites but if this one does end up on he does enjoy it also too.

Then you have little shows we put on from Netflix like Pocoyo, or Masha and the Bear. This is quick shows that we start the day with only when I have to get his bottle ready, use the washroom myself, and take the dog out to do his business too! It is not full episodes by any means and just enough for him to be in his play pen while I run outside with the dog and know that the dog will be safe in the process too. They also can help keep him busy if I have to do some house work, quick cooking, or flip laundry since it is on a different level than the one we play on.

Preventing your child may seem easy but it really isn’t. Not to mention when you decide to have more children if the older ones are watching TV are you going to prevent them from doing so? Or are you going to just limit technology and not let it become an obsession. The total time daily my son in particular watches TV or some type of show would be a maximum of an hour and 15 minutes per day. Sometimes the max would be two hours but only due to the fact that I may have a few extra things to do around the house that this keeps him busy. Mind you, out TV is on all the time but as long as it does not have a cartoon type show on the TV it really is not a big deal as my son has no interest in those right now. When it is on he will typically play with his toys on the floor independently.

What do you think about letting your toddler watch some TV during the day.

Is there any shows that you dont allow your little one to watch? (Read the shows that I dont put on here)

Let me know your thoughts on this controversial subject below! I love to hear different parenting styles!

Getting Through The 1st Trimester

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Finding out that you are pregnant can be a very exciting time in anyone’s life! I know when we first found out we were pregnant with my first child, and now our second one we were excited! However I feel like my first pregnancy I was a bit lucky because I barely had any symptoms except for being tried. When I was tired I would just sleep But now having a toddler and being pregnant for the second time things are way more challenging. Here are my tips to help me get through the first trimester (With or without a toddler!).

SLEEP! In the first trimester you are probably losing a lot of sleep. Not only that but suddenly your bladder seems to be super small and you are running to the bathroom nearly every 3 hours especially in the middle of the night even if you did not do that to begin with before. Thought I was really lucky that my partner was home often I was able to sleep when I felt like it because he would watch our son. However, if he was working late I would still try to nap when my toddler did. It can be hard though because some days I would be super tired and go to sleep and would have one of those days where my son nearly never slept his nap time. However a lot of times it works really well to be able to nap when he does. It may not seem like a lot but it really is a decent amount of time to be able to sleep and not over sleep. Though be warned that sometimes I tend to find myself more tired after this. But catching up on sleep is really important if you are able to sleep during the day. I will say, going into the second trimester there is some relief in terms of when you need to run to the bathroom from your sleepy slumber but in terms of the increased bathroom visits. They will still be a lot due to the fact your body is housing a baby! Try to also drink water early in the day (Something that I do not do) And limit it late at night so that you find yourself hopefully nearly empty when it comes to having to get up to relieve yourself!

Prepping for morning sickness or food aversions was something I did with my first pregnancy and now this one even though I did not think I needed it much. I had certain staples in my kitchen such as ginger ale, little sour candies that would help with morning sickness. I also had carnation instant breakfast’s as well. They really helped in the morning when I was not interested in eating breakfast a lot and still filled me up though to be able to function at some point. I still have been pretty lucky even with this pregnancy in terms of morning sickness. Even when I did have it it was mainly after supper and by that point my boyfriend was already home and was able to take the the lead when it came to putting my son to bed and getting him ready for his sleep. Having things like this was a huge help especially the ginger cookies which I would have a few snacks on in the mornings when my stomach was just a bit more upset though.

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Make it fun and have an app or two! When I was pregnant with my son I used two in particular, they were Ovia Pregnancy and then What to Expect. These are super fun to use because you are able to pick a subject to compare the size of your baby! When I was pregnant with my son I used the “fruits and Veggies” theme for both. Every week was a milestone and it would compare the growing baby inside to whatever fruit it was comparable to! This time around I have chosen to do one for 80’s and 90s nostalgic items, and then another one in the “Fun and Games” category. This is a great way to compare the size of your baby to things you know the size of already. With baby number three I assume knowing myself I would be picking a different category to compare the size of the baby to! Another thing that is huge when it comes to these apps is every day or so it will post little tips and tricks about what is happening with the growth of your baby. From things developing and changing. Sure you may have multiple children but still is exciting to see how things develop since you may not remember when things happen as they happen.

Regardless about what you try to do when it comes to surviving the first trimester, there is really multiple things you can do to make it through. Another positive thing to remember is that even if the first trimester is rough, chances are things will slowly level out towards the 2nd trimester. I have been lucky and have found that whatever symptoms I have been feeling does normally seem to disappear a bit. However on rare occasions there are people out there who have to deal with major symptoms in the second trimester also. However, there are also medical interventions that you are perhaps able to take for things such as morning sickness if you talk to your doctor about how you are feeling.

Lastly, remember that there is also so many reasons to sick it out because at the end of everything no matter how sick you get you will have your little bundle of joy to be thankful for! When you see your child you suddenly forget all of the heartaches and sickness you may have felt as it just melts away!

Is there anything that you did when you were feeling a bit wonky in the first trimester?
Do you follow any of the tips and tricks that were mentioned above too?

Let me know as I am sure a lot of other readers would love to read about it also!

What is the “Nesting” Phase Really Like in Pregnancy

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You might be new to pregnancy, or you might be someone who knows all about it. For me, I have only ever experiences “Nesting” once. while I am currently waiting to find out if I do the same things for the second time also. Since every pregnancy is different I will be curious to see if there is anything majorly different between the two of them!

What people think nesting is, is a period of time before a baby is born where you are doing the weirdest, and over the top things. Typically people claim this is the time you scrub everything so that it is in tip top shape for when the baby arrives. This includes when you are prepping the room, hospital bag, cleaning and washing cupboards and dishes and walls. You are making sure that everything that can be is ready for when the baby is born. You are probably making sure you have more than enough clothes and then you are washing them also so they are nice and fresh for the new baby too. A lot of people would consider nesting the period in which you get that little boost of energy for a small period of time before you give birth to your child. I would say I agree with this however I dont know if at the time I knew what I was doing was nesting or if I just took advantage of the new found energy!

What I thought about for nesting and what actually happened I think are two different things. I did not think I would really have a big nesting period when it came to having a baby. Looking back now I would say that my nesting period was about the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I started with trying to get everything in place for the baby’s room. Washing clothes, decorating everything also. We did the Harry Potter theme for my son and that was something I worked on a bit as things went but I really tied it all together when the time came. We also did really good on trying to get everything prepped and ordered in terms of tools and trinkets we needed too. Lotions, body washes, socks, diapers, wipes everything in between we would try to get ready. After that I wanted to focus on our basement. Since moving it the place was a mes and since my Uncle was off work we really tried to get it some what organized before Vincent was born. We went through boxes and labeled things and got things ready to be thrown away. Everyone knows when you have a child you have a lot of things that you acquire as the time passes and it is important to really make space for that or you can be overwhelmed.

Aside from these two major things I cant really think of a whole lot that we really did before the baby came in terms of nesting. I think I did this stuff also around 35 weeks so that I was ready and able to spring into action if something happened. I wouldn’t say I really did anything outside of the box in terms of cleaning. Our home was not really bad in terms of clean. However maybe if we were stuck waiting and were over due with the pregnancy I would have done a lot more in terms of trying to get the action moving!

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Now, I am pregnant for a second time! Currently at the time of writing this I am about 18 weeks, still a long way to go! And by the time this is released and you are able to read it I will be in the middle of a move across provinces in Canada! I think if I was to predict the future I will be doing things to be able to prep for the baby by getting their room ready, we are not trying to do anything too serious or big until we know the gender. I have a few ideas on how to do the room however other than that we are just waiting to see. Another thing would be if we are having another boy I will have to re-wash some of the things that we used for my son and prepping those to get ready for the newest addition! I would like to think at the time we will be doing things to get the house up to our standards by painting, organizing and things like that. Nesting for this pregnancy also might be a lot of prepping my son for the arrival for his new sibling! Being an only child and suddenly having to share his parents might be an adjustment for him. Especially with Covid and not really socializing with people much either. Another reason why it might be a bit different is that we will be close to my family and the opportunity for them to help us might also make nesting a bit easier or look different than with our first since we were basically here alone.

There really is no right or wrong way to nest. Maybe you wont even find yourself nesting at all! For me I didn’t really think about it at the time that I was nesting until it actually was done and over with and even a few friends pointed it out! Whenever you do, if you do notice you have this little burst of energy I would for sure use this moment to the full potential for things you might have put off til closer to the birth! I know that is what I will be doing, and Ill be updating you all on if or when I notice my second pregnancy nesting and what I have done if anything differently than my first!

Did you know when you were in the nesting period?
Did your spouse notice that this was what was happening to you as it was happening?
What kind of things did you do when you were nesting?

Let me know in the comments below! Maybe we had somethings in common!


Confessions of a Realist

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If you want to know the true definition of Realist here it is:

That was taken directly off of google by simply typing in “Define Realist”

And if you haven’t already gathered based on these posts and blogs that I am in fact a realist. I can be pretty blunt I can be pretty rough around the edges, and I can have have a strong opinion also too. Here are some of the confessions that I have for being a Realist.

I can come off extremely blunt. Part of this reason is because I am blunt I guess you could say. I dont believe that I should be sugar coating things when it comes to my opinion. The only time I will end up sugar coating things is MAYBE when I am talking to my grandmother, who is over the age of 80 and well, sometimes sugar coating things can be a little bit easier than the reality of it all. I think when it comes to giving my opinion, giving it bluntly or thinking about it realistically is the best way. Obviously I won’t be as harsh if someone was asking me about whether or not an outfit looked good on them. I would be honest but in a kind way, and not in the white lie tell them it looks good sort of way either. I have the strong believe that if a person is coming to your for your opinion it really is in the best interest to give it to them straight, even if they don’t like the answer that you have said.

Which comes to the next point, Friends sometimes come and go because they cannot handle the truth when it comes to being a realist. I am honest and I am logical with opinions and when it comes to viewing things (Most times because we all know that people also can think on their feet and want to have things done right away even if it is not the best ideas..). Friends sometimes ask for opinions and when you give it to them straight they aren’t sure how to react or are not willing to except an opinion even if it sounds harsh. Most times, as a realist my intentions are not to be mean or hateful. Someone asks my opinion, I give it to them, they are unable to handle it, and thus starts some mini war between friends where one gets a bit snotty and aggressive towards me. Which then, I have to explain what I meant though normally the statement “If you couldn’t handle the truth why ask?” comes out. This is especially true among friends who are discussing relationships. Someone is in maybe a crummy relationship, They ask their friends for an opinion even though they know they are not going to like the response, and then they go back to ignoring the opinion and letting it happen until they are actually ready to end the relationship and then they comment about how you were right all along.

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Not everything is bad when it comes to being a realist. I know that I have been told I am a realist and thanked many times for giving my opinion on things. Sometimes friends or family see things in the worst light possible. As a realist, I sometimes also give a positive spin on to a problem also. Again, sometimes people don’t want to hear a positive spin on something because they want to wallow in self pity and look at the situation as a bit problem but that isn’t always the case. There can be a positive outcome if you only look for it. Though I will have to admit, there are many times that I find myself trying to look at my own problems this way but struggle with seeing it that way. Normally I will ask my boyfriend who I would say is also a realistic to some extent who gives it to me straight and normally I also do not like what he has to say because it disagrees with what I have to say. But I get over that pretty fast (Sometimes anyways!)

I dont think there is enough realist in the world today. I think we are in a world where people would rather have everything sugar coated and brushed over so that when a real trauma happens they are unable to cope with them. People are willing to be “people pleasers” and by doing so they are harming others because they are living in this fantasy world. Not everything is rainbows and roses, in fact it rarely is! If there were more realist in the world I think people would be more able to cope with stressful situations like being declined a job interview, rejection from a relationship or friendship, tough financial decisions they might face also. When we caudal people through their entire life they believe that nothing bad will happen. Giving someone a realistic approach will better help children grow up also (In my opinion). Maybe that is why my mom always asked us “If we were bleeding or on fire” When we would call her at work for stupid things we wanted to do which we knew we were more likely allowed or not allowed to do but we still wanted to put her on the spot anyways.

I know for me, I will never stop being a realist. If people don’t accept that about me, well than they don’t. But I refuse to believe that I should change my way of thinking to please people. Not to mention, I am way to old to be playing games with people. If you are prepared to have an honest answer, I welcome anyone to ask anything to me. If not, well, don’t ask!

Do you consider yourself to be a realist?

Or are you someone who tends to sugar coat everything when asked different questions or your opinion?

Let me know in the comments below, I am curious to see just how many realists there is here!

Why Having a “Date Night” is Important

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Before my son was born, my boyfriend and I would go out for the occasional date nights, here and there of course. We did the normal pre-covid dating and pre-kid date nights like going to dinner and a movie, exploring different parts of the city, grabbing ice cream or going for walks in the parks. Since covid happened obviously that had drastically changed as well as the fact that we had a newborn at the time too. And family were not exactly close even if we wanted to.

When having a child, if you do have one already or are thinking about it, it really can change a relationship. Completely. I even talk about it so much in this particular post here. And no, not everything is pretty and nice when you have a baby now entering a relationship either.

My boyfriend and I are both gamers. We like to game. Sometimes we even game on different times and that is okay also too. During covid especially, and not being able to leave the house, things can be challenging to keep it simple. Sometimes we are in the same space for so long we get on one another nerves, sometimes we are in the best moods, and other times we just want to spend time together. The problem we were having was with different gaming times and taking care of our little baby, we were finding ourselves arguing about date nights. Sure, we never were able to go out in the non-conventional way, we were stuck inside. But that didnt make it any less important to me and to him to want to spend time together with one another. Eventually we decided on having an official date night!

In the beginning we had to play around with different days during the week to see what fit for us. It can be any day that you choose but for us we choose Saturdays. This was a weekend and a day he would not be working or the following day. Doing it through the week was challenging because he works and it can be tiring to stay up especially when I also had to get up with the baby the next day and take care of him all day, being tired does not help that situation either! Saturdays just eventually worked out for us in the end.

Now what do we do? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes we watch movies, binge a TV series that we are enjoying, sometimes we sit out on the deck and listen to music with the lights around just taking in the outdoors. Once we move it will be a much welcomed time for us to sit by the fire outside once we build a fire pit of course and if there is no fire ban also too! This is our time to really just spend time together. Sometimes I will get special candies or treats to make it a big event, Sometimes I will pick up chips or candy that are new and neither of us have tried because I think it will be a good idea for us to experiment together. Just silly little things. Sometimes we even put on a mindless show we don’t really have to focus on and we both sit on our phones showing one another meme’s or funny posts. Just different things that we like to do and together.

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Date night is important to us especially while having a baby and during covid because at the end of the day we are always putting our son first. We take care of him, we play with him, feed him, we bathe him. Everything is about him. Not to say it would every change and now with a second and hopefully in a few years a third along the way, our children will always be first for us. However, it is very important in a relationship to remember why we are their. That is, we both care and adore one another (Even if I can be a bit rough around the edges with attitude!) and it is important to us to remember that. We want to be able to just relax for a few hours and just do “us” for a little while. Mind you, once we are home and what not we may do a few occasional actual going out dates where we go out of the house to a movie or dinner. Since we will have my parents or sister who would be able to babysit though we obviously do not want to take advantage of that! It still will be nice to occasionally go out to restaurants that we frequented enough to know what our favorite meals and desserts at them is! From going to a place for their white chocolate brownie, or a spot with the best fries and chicken fingers around! There really is any possibility to different things that we could do for a date night and we cannot wait to just be back home again either.

Date night’s do not need to be expensive. Like I mentioned, sometimes we just watch TV shows we have been binging and get fully into it together. Other times we order food when my son is asleep, and others times we sit outside enjoying the peace and quiet. Things do not need to be expensive. If you find yourself slipping out of your relationship, even before a baby or after, ask yourself, are we really spending time together as a couple? Do we need to get back to basics? Sometimes doing a simple gesture of picking up your spouses favorite treat and surprising them is just the thing you need to be able to get back to how you truly feel. Life can be busy with and without children and sometimes you just have to get back to what happened before life took over!

What do you do for date night (If you have one already!)?

Do you do anything special or the same every week?

Let me know in the comments below, Maybe I can adapt to some of the ones you do for my own date nights!

3 Things I Would I Tell My Younger Self

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Looking back at when I was a teenager in particular, I can say that I was legit a rotten kid. I was combative with my parents, I tend to have been rude more often than not and I felt like they were out to get me. Not that I am 30, have a son and another child due towards the end of 2021, it really has given me some perspective that I didn’t think I would have if you had asked me as a teenager. Here are 3 things that I wish I could tell my younger self.

Number 1 : Your parents are not the enemy. Growing up I would say my parents were leaning more towards strict. We, meaning my siblings and I grew up in the era without cell phones til we could pay for them, and to follow the street lights. In high school we we not allowed out past 10-11pm depending if there was things we were doing and we had to check in regularly if possible too. Even though we were secretive with things as most teens are, we still had a pretty good means of communication though. I felt like my parents were the people who would do things just so I wasn’t having any fun when looking back now it really wasn’t. I know my sister mentioned this before and she agrees. There is a reason why we had to be in specific times, why is this you might ask? Because there really is nothing out here after 1030pm that is for teenagers. Not only that but a lot of times when I would hear my friends who had parents who really did not care what they did and were out all hours of the night, they often were the ones who would be getting in trouble with multiple people and in multiple places. So I guess by them being more strict than some of my friends at the time they really were doing us a favor.

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Number 2: Do better in school! I know this probably comes as no surprise but for me it was something I put on the back burner and really did not focus on. I was too busy smoking cigarettes and hanging out with the stoners.. maybe partaking in that as well, to be bothered with good grades. The funny part in all this was I never missed more than 4 classes. I always was there so that I could get exempt from exams we were allowed to miss. I wish I could tell myself to focus more on grades both in high school and collage because it may have helped a lot more when trying to apply. I went to community collage and while nothing is wrong with that, looking back I wish I had some sort of honors in school. I was just scrapping the bottom of the barrel to get by that I never really thought grades were that big of a deal. I wish I had even applied for scholarships or put some effort to maybe help myself financially by achieving good grades or even by just applying for things. I know that I failed chemistry and advanced math in my first year but I think if I had not of gotten lost in the mix of weed and wanting to look cool than maybe at the end of the day I would have been able to go to a university easier instead of collage.

Number 3: It does get better. I know this may seem like it never will but it does get better. When I was in high school everyone liked me. I could be everyone friend. I was however, never close with people. Coming right out of high school and into collage I was in an abusive relationship. It felt never ending and it felt like I was essentially trapped there for all of eternity. I wasn’t Fast forward to now, I am a 30+ year old women, with a solid relationship of almost 11 years, one son and another baby on the way. Things DO get better. The friends i made in high school who I was really close with which is not a lot, we still talk semi regularly. However a lot of people I am close with are from collage or even just friends from before high school and things. Even friends that I made from work are still around. You do not need to jump through hoops in order to feel secure. At the end of the day being popular in high school or collage does nothing for you as far as a career goes. It might help with social skills but other than that it wont get you good grades, or promotions, or job interviews. You get those on your own. And even if you are the bullied kid or you are feeling like you are lost without a specific clique to belong to, that wont matter when you are 20, or when you are 25, or when you are 30. You will find your people or they will find you and when you find them you just know.

Those would be the three things that I would tell my younger self. Im sure the longer I sit here the more things I would be able to write about what I would say. Not to mention if I was to write this in another 10 or so years I would assume that there would be more or different points that I would want to tell myself also. Everyone I am sure has something that they would tell their teenage selves. Even if it was just to let them know that everything is going to be okay!

Do you have similar things that you would want to tell your younger self?
Is there anything that you did as a teenager that was risky and are surprised that you are still kicking now?
Is your life in the spot where you expected it to be after all these years?

Let me know in the comments below!


When My Son Goes to Bed

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When my son goes to bed, what do I do you might be wondering, Absolutely nothing! FREEDOM!

Just kidding of course. What can be done is really up to anyone. And depends on the day also. Ill write the two ways I would spend my time “kid free” once he went to sleep. I say this because as I write this I am pregnant and well, some things changed from being pregnant and when I am not and how I fill my time! Let’s start with when I am not pregnant shall we!

My son goes to bed regularly around 7pm. This is after he is done rolling around in his crib, talking to himself, potentially throwing his blanket out of the crib and whining for it, or having his soother fall to the floor and having to go in to get it for him again. A few times a week I am streaming. At the time of writing this I am streaming 3 days per week, this might change in the fall when I want to add a bi-weekly podcast into the mix but that is an after thought!Currently at the time of writing this I stream and am live playing games, or even doing art on Monday/Wednesday/Friday. I typically start this as soon as he goes to sleep with my intro playing as he settles. My goal ultimately is to stream between 2.5 and 3 hours however sometimes less depending on how I feel. After if there is a few moments my boyfriend and I would watch something quick on TV. Sometimes it would be a quick show, or depending on how we feel an episode of a series that we are watching. On day’s that I don’t stream sometimes I do things like working on blog posts, writing in my novels or books, doing artwork for my house, different things as well too. This is time I try to look after myself. Rarely do I do housework unless maybe the dishes, I try to do that during the day so that tonight I can hang out and just relax without having to think about anything. I sometimes have a bath or sometimes do absolutely nothing at all!

Now, when I am not pregnant it can be a bit different in terms of things that I do once he goes to bed. The streaming never changes that is something that is good. And I do try to stick to the no housework rule. For my own sanity sake. The most I will do for housework as mentioned is the dishes however if the toys are everywhere on the floor I guess I would pick those up also! The major difference is that when my son goes to bed I would smoke a joint. I know. I am a stoner mom. However I don’t believe in smoking while pregnant obviously for multiple reasons. That is a different blog post though! Other than that I would say a lot of the things are the same. I view smoking a joint as if some people have a glass of wine. I actually talked about that in a previous blog that you are more than welcome to check out here where I talk about the difference between wine or weed and why I think one is viewed so drastically. I will also note that if my boyfriend is away for whatever reason or I am alone with my son I will not smoke in case something happens and we need to travel anywhere either. I treat weed just as I would booze. And occasionally my boyfriend and I especially in the summer time will will sit outside and have a drink together. I prefer coolers however me drinking a lot is kind of the days of my past when I was younger and doing the bar scene!

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Something that is important to remember once your child(ren) go to bed is that there is nothing “Set” that you should or shouldn’t be doing. Sometime people will do housework and relax that way, and believe me I have done that myself if my house is in a state. Once we move (If we haven’t already by the time this has come out!) I am sure I will be in the cleaning boat as we get the house to our own happy place. There is nothing wrong with doing absolutely nothing though. Use this free time to catch your breath. Being a parent can be hard especially if you are in fast a single parent too. Some days with children are easier than others. Some days you have a teething baby or you are pregnant yourself again. You really need to find what works for you because it can legit change so often. For me I try to do something relaxing and self care like, regardless of what that is. I think it is a great way for me to decompress from the day.

When being a parent we often put our children first. This is natural and normal. I know my parents did that with myself and my brother and sister. Regardless of what we were doing they would put us first and that is okay. But I know my dad would sometimes go to his friends house for a few hours on Wednesday nights after work if he was home. My mom would go bowling on Thursday nights (Which I also did however this year being pregnancy about 7 months will not be for me!) and at one point she also did water aerobics. You really have to find something you enjoy and if you are a single parent that is okay also! A lot of the things that I do once my son goes to bed is at my house or I am bringing the camera to sit on my deck and enjoy the outside.

What are some things that you do once your children go to bed?
Is there anything different or the same that we happen to do the same?

Let me know in the comments below! I would love to hear what you do.