If you are not a parent I’m not entirely sure that you will know what this feels like. I don’t mean that in any way disrespectfully either. Just that for this particular blog, it really is only since becoming a parent that I have really noticed this.
Since becoming a parent I have become such a sad sap it isn’t even funny. I swear that I am one of those people who now cries at any animated movie no matter how small the inconvenience is. I tear up and think about things and it makes me feel like trash only because I would poke fun at my mom who also would get sappy about things too. Before becoming a parent I would never feel this way or even admit to it but here we are.
Another thing is that I find myself feeling an overwhelming sense of relief or even sense of serenity. I know that makes me also sound like a weirdo but it’s not. I mean sometimes I am sitting on the couch. One of my son’s is playing with his blocks in front of me. We have the TV on for background noise, and then we have my other son trying to bit his teether toys furiously like he means business. I just look around and I feel a sense of happiness that I dont think I can even describe because it doesn’t even feel real. I feel a sense of wow and wonder that this is actually my life. That this is something I could never have imagined how it felt until I was in the moment. I still can’t believe that after over 2 years, maybe 3 including pregnancy, that I have been a mom and my life has been changed.
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Another thing that I know people talk about often is this, Time passes sooo fast with children. I know you know people with kids and have heard at some point, whether a parent or not, you may even have heard your own parents say it, is that “before you know it, they will be growing up like weeds”, “Or off to college soon with them in the blink of an eye” or something along those lines. THIS IS TOTALLY TRUE!! Which is mind blowing right. It really is.
When we had our first child, we knew time was passing fast. When you had to change clothes or even go up diaper sizes you would think to yourself holy moly, there is a lot of time that passed we are already changing up! Well, let me tell you this, when you have more than one kid, you will notice that that time is then going twice as fast as it was with just one child! Maybe I find this is because my second son is growing so quickly and at the time of reading it is 5 months old and next month we start baby foods. I feel like we just had him!
There are even times now when both of the boys are asleep when my spouse and I are laying on the couch and we have to look at each other and wonder, “Wow, we made them” as we look at their monitors form their rooms, which is still hard to grasp. Like we made two human beings. Two little pieces of both of us mixed together they are us. I always knew when I was younger that I would have kids one day. I knew that I would be a mom. It was just a feeling that I knew. And again, I want to state if anyone not a parent is reading this, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have children! There is enough pressure for couples to have a family that I do not want to be someone who does that. There is people who want kids and others who do not and there is nothing wrong with that.
I also know a lot of parents feel this strange passing of time due to the amount of parents on my Facebook that when their child’s birthday comes around they comment about how they maybe turned around and they already have a 10 year old! which is again, mind blowing when it comes to things also too. it really is that when you decide to have kids that time has a new meaning. I feel like days in particular happen fast too. There is a lot of times when I turn around and feel like the day has flew by and my spouse is already home from work.
Being a parent changes you. Or I should say, being a good parent changes you, we know there is a lot of bad ones out there which I would assume their lives don’t really change at all. Being a good parent makes you want to do better, be better, get better. I have been a parent for over 2 years, including pregnancy though I would say closer to 3. I know that I have been changed by my kids and remembering who I used to be and how I dont do some of the things I did before is tough. But there is still many many days when I sit around and think in awe how great my life is. How thankful I am to have 2 children and hopefully we plan for our 3rd and final one towards the end of the year. I am starting to think that this feeling doesn’t ever fade either, It hasn’t since my oldest was born! And it still feels like he was just a little baby and in the hospital and how excited and nervous and happy I was holding him! Even if not he is Mama’s big big baby now!