Before my son was born, my boyfriend and I would go out for the occasional date nights, here and there of course. We did the normal pre-covid dating and pre-kid date nights like going to dinner and a movie, exploring different parts of the city, grabbing ice cream or going for walks in the parks. Since covid happened obviously that had drastically changed as well as the fact that we had a newborn at the time too. And family were not exactly close even if we wanted to.
When having a child, if you do have one already or are thinking about it, it really can change a relationship. Completely. I even talk about it so much in this particular post here. And no, not everything is pretty and nice when you have a baby now entering a relationship either.
My boyfriend and I are both gamers. We like to game. Sometimes we even game on different times and that is okay also too. During covid especially, and not being able to leave the house, things can be challenging to keep it simple. Sometimes we are in the same space for so long we get on one another nerves, sometimes we are in the best moods, and other times we just want to spend time together. The problem we were having was with different gaming times and taking care of our little baby, we were finding ourselves arguing about date nights. Sure, we never were able to go out in the non-conventional way, we were stuck inside. But that didnt make it any less important to me and to him to want to spend time together with one another. Eventually we decided on having an official date night!
In the beginning we had to play around with different days during the week to see what fit for us. It can be any day that you choose but for us we choose Saturdays. This was a weekend and a day he would not be working or the following day. Doing it through the week was challenging because he works and it can be tiring to stay up especially when I also had to get up with the baby the next day and take care of him all day, being tired does not help that situation either! Saturdays just eventually worked out for us in the end.
Now what do we do? Sometimes nothing. Sometimes we watch movies, binge a TV series that we are enjoying, sometimes we sit out on the deck and listen to music with the lights around just taking in the outdoors. Once we move it will be a much welcomed time for us to sit by the fire outside once we build a fire pit of course and if there is no fire ban also too! This is our time to really just spend time together. Sometimes I will get special candies or treats to make it a big event, Sometimes I will pick up chips or candy that are new and neither of us have tried because I think it will be a good idea for us to experiment together. Just silly little things. Sometimes we even put on a mindless show we don’t really have to focus on and we both sit on our phones showing one another meme’s or funny posts. Just different things that we like to do and together.
Date night is important to us especially while having a baby and during covid because at the end of the day we are always putting our son first. We take care of him, we play with him, feed him, we bathe him. Everything is about him. Not to say it would every change and now with a second and hopefully in a few years a third along the way, our children will always be first for us. However, it is very important in a relationship to remember why we are their. That is, we both care and adore one another (Even if I can be a bit rough around the edges with attitude!) and it is important to us to remember that. We want to be able to just relax for a few hours and just do “us” for a little while. Mind you, once we are home and what not we may do a few occasional actual going out dates where we go out of the house to a movie or dinner. Since we will have my parents or sister who would be able to babysit though we obviously do not want to take advantage of that! It still will be nice to occasionally go out to restaurants that we frequented enough to know what our favorite meals and desserts at them is! From going to a place for their white chocolate brownie, or a spot with the best fries and chicken fingers around! There really is any possibility to different things that we could do for a date night and we cannot wait to just be back home again either.
Date night’s do not need to be expensive. Like I mentioned, sometimes we just watch TV shows we have been binging and get fully into it together. Other times we order food when my son is asleep, and others times we sit outside enjoying the peace and quiet. Things do not need to be expensive. If you find yourself slipping out of your relationship, even before a baby or after, ask yourself, are we really spending time together as a couple? Do we need to get back to basics? Sometimes doing a simple gesture of picking up your spouses favorite treat and surprising them is just the thing you need to be able to get back to how you truly feel. Life can be busy with and without children and sometimes you just have to get back to what happened before life took over!
What do you do for date night (If you have one already!)?
Do you do anything special or the same every week?
Let me know in the comments below, Maybe I can adapt to some of the ones you do for my own date nights!