Monthly Archives: March 2021

Weed vs Wine

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Since I could remember there was always a stigma about smoking weed. When you watch movies of you watch women who are mom’s you see once the kids go to bed they pour themselves a nice glass of red wine and sip on that while binging the latest soaps or crime shows that they may not have finished chasing the children around. Another crazy part in this is even when they have a ladies night you also notice that they are typically again, drinking wine! You never see on the big screen a woman and mother who lights up a nicely rolled joint as their way to unwind at the end of a day! Why is that?

I think it is safe to say that alcohol is basically legal across the world in MOST countries. Obviously, of course, you have to be above the legal drinking age in the respected country however it is pretty widely known that it is something that nearly any adult can do. Whether you are in Sweden, Canada, USA, or whatever else as long as you are above that age you are able to drink. Whether you prefer beer, or spirits, or harder booze or wine, this is not classified as a “Drug” so to speak. You are able to get it even in corner stores in some countries.

Does being able to get it so easily make it something that is more popular among women? Or at least accepted in the general public’s eyes? Could be. When you watch these movies you almost sensationalize the fact that this mother is enjoying a nice cool glass of wine at the end of what might have been a tough day!

The fact is, They never talk about the trouble that alcoholism might have on a family. Maybe that one glass becomes 2, or 3, or even more. Maybe something that once started as a beer has now moved to wine or even to a harder liquor in the process. Maybe the money used for booze is money that should be spent on bills. It really is up for interpretation as well. So why is it more accepted than weed?

When people see weed or hear about weed their minds normally goes to weed = drugs which equals bad. But why is that? Weed is something that people can either smoke, drink, eat, or use in a vaporizer that gives you a feeling of “high” if you prefer the THC strains. Or if you prefer the CBD strains it can have some great medical effects as well too. From helping someone to sleep better at night, or help with appetites or anxiety as well too. Why is it viewed as such a terrible thing to do at the end of the day compared to wine which is widely acceptable?

This being said, If you don’t already know. I am Canadian, and if weed is still unfortunately illegal in the country that you live I would suggest NOT smoking it unless you have some sort of medical card or are able to purchase legally. In Canada as long as you are above the legal age in your province of residence you are able to smoke or partake in whatever way you would like for it. Some provinces you can even grow a certain amount of weed also too. For me, living in a country that the weed is technically viewed the same as liquor, I think it can be seen more accepted then in a country where it is criminalized.

If you have read this far, I am sure you are looking for my opinion on this. And I will explain that now.

Drinking a glass at the end of the day, whether one or two. You are nearly unable to do anything depending. When I have a drink or two I prefer not to drive at all even though technically one would be allowed to drive (Provided you are not over the legal limit). I may be feeling a bit woozy depending on the amount of drinks I have had. I don’t like the taste of certain drinks and I also don’t like the fact that for me to let loose (A little!) I need to drink multiple.

Smoking a joint at the end of the day. I know that if I smoke a joint I will for sure be getting a bit of a high. I will also be able to drive in maybe 3-5 hours. Obviously if I smoked more or less I would judge that on when I actually come down from a high. I don’t feel restricted to do anything because I feel like I am able to be in more control.

Does that mean I feel “safer” while smoking weed? No. I treat weed and booze the exact same. You don’t drink and drive on it. You practice safe things while you partake in either and one is not more or better than another. It simply is a preference that I prefer. Just like you don’t drink during pregnancy I also never smoked during it either. When I found out that I was pregnant with my son I stopped immediately. I did not want to risk anything when it came to his life.

So why is wine viewed better then weed for a woman at the end of the day? Maybe this is because people who prefer wine are in a country that weed is still criminalized and not seen as equal to booze. For me though, I would take a joint over a drink any time of the day. Does that mean I don’t have anything to drink? Not normally. If my children were older and had a babysitter or something and my partner and I were to go out and have a few drinks I would also enjoy that too. I just prefer to have grass over the liquor.

Whether you prefer a glass of red, or a smoke of the green, As long as you use responsibly I don’t think anyone should be judging how you unwind at the end of the day.

Do you think that wine vs weed is a valid debate?
Does it matter if you are a female or male at the end of the day partaking in either?

Let me know in the comments below!

– Stacey

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When will the Gun Violence stop?

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Before I really go in to this I want people to know that No, I am not American. I am writing this as an opinion post and I am writing this as a Canadian. Will my opinion be invalid based on where I live? Maybe. But as a Canadian the amount of mass shootings and gun violence are typically few and far between when compared to our neighbors in the south. Why is this? I honestly have no idea.

The volume of violence and more specifically gun violence in the United States are what seem to be a weekly occurrence. Why is this? I guess you could argue the point of it being so easy to obtain a fire arm in the USA. Here in Canada I know you have to go through pretty standard permits and get proper licenses in order to even purchase a fire arm and even than I do believe you do need some type of training. At the time of writing this I am 31 years old, and I could probably count on one hand the amount of people I know who own guns and they are mainly for hunting. I don’t think I could even tell you if a friend of a friend owns a firearm for protection in their homes. Not to mention also, when you see there is gun violence in Canada more often than not it has to do with gangs or some type of feud happenings it rarely is a senseless act against random bystanders.

The fear I think when it comes to being in America is totally valid. With so many folks owning or obtaining weapons such as automatic riffles or hand guns it seems to be a “Whose is going to win” scenario. If everyone has a weapon and you are the only one on your block who doesn’t have one. Are you really adequately able to protect your family at all? Not likely because the chances of the intruder having a weapon is a lot higher. Americans have the right to bare arms especially when it comes to protecting themselves or their families. Some states even have conceal and carry and others you must be able to visibly see a weapons that you are carrying. None the less the fear that you might be shot somewhere at some point during the day seems to be insane to think about if you are near an area that regularly see’s this type of violence. Particularly in states like Colorado even where it seems every other year there is a major event happening to do with random shootings.

How does this happen? I’m not really sure that I can answer it. I think that it will be quite the odd question for me to even answer since I am not a citizen of America. I will say before anyone mentions it. Video games, entertainment, movies or television shows are not the reasons why these things happen. More often than not they are mentally ill people who think this is the only way they can put things “right with the world”.

Let’s swing by Canada for a second. Last year there was one of the most violent shootings in Canada’s history happening right in my home province of Nova Scotia. A man dressed like a police officer and painted his vehicle, a retired police car, to look real and went on a rampage across the province shooting anyone and everyone he came in contact with. And because the province did not issue a major bulletin lives were lost that may have been saved had they knew. This guy was mentally ill and might I add a white male before anyone says this was an act of terrorism or anything relating to someone who is of a different race. No country is immune to any type of violence that is for sure.

What will it take to stop gun violence particularly in the United States? I’m not entirely sure or that either. There could be a bunch of reasons like stricter laws on how to obtain firearms, stricter rules to even get a license to begin with or limiting sales in major retailers. The truth is though, If someone is mentally ill and they want to get a gun chances are they will find a way whether it be legally or illegally. I don’t think there is any way to stop them. It might be more difficult for them to obtain one but at the end of the day unless you are keeping an eye on them it will be hard to do.

Why is this normal? Maybe because as someone looking down at America or any country that has this amount of violence especially with fire arms it seems to happen so often that people seem to be de-sensitized to it. I know as a child we talked about schools being put into lock down where as this is a regular occurrence in America to learn how to handle an active shooter situation. Similar to fire drills and tornado warnings. Will it ever become not normal for people? Maybe if it drastically took a turn and wasn’t as known. Only time will tell for that.

And again, as a Canadian, does it really matter to me whether or not there is violence in another country? Not particularly. It does not effect my every day life. But it still doesn’t mean I don’t get any less sad thinking about the mindless acts of violence that is happening towards every day people like myself. Seeing any loss of human life is going to make someone sad, and I cant imagine seeing this type of stuff on the news daily either. That would be completely depressing also too.

Hope this wasn’t too much rambling for anyone, just my thoughts on what has been happening..

Do you think there is any way to stop or at least curb the gun violence in your country (if any)?

Let me know in the comments below.

– Stacey


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Sleep Struggles With a New Baby

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It may be no surprise that babies do in fact have trouble sleeping. In fact, having a child basically means you wont be sleeping for a very very long time. You always hear horror stories about how babies don’t sleep when in reality when you first bring home your little bundle home they will probably be sleeping A LOT. That is because babies or specifically newborns up until they are most likely a few months old will sleep most of their time. You have to wake up to feed them every 3 or so hours, but still, they sleep a lot of the time none the less.

When my son was born, it was a huge adjustment to having to wake every few hours. I think more so for my boyfriend than myself, only because at about 9 months pregnant you are going to the bathroom at night so frequently that you are nearly up the same time anyways. I feel like I would have gone to sleep only to be awoken again with the urge to go or I would have peed my pants! Having a new born at home waking every 3 hours for a feeding was no different. It was also nice to have my boyfriend in the picture to be able to help with this. We started with him in a bassinet since it made things more convenient for us as we did have separate bedrooms. That way he could sleep right beside us and we didn’t have to worry about him being in his big crib for his little body. We figured why not get one also for when we have a 2nd and 3rd child we can hopefully have them in the same one while the younger kid(s) sleep. Plus it was obviously a safe space that the dog couldn’t give him kissed and that he could sleep on his own without being held.

My son was a great newborn! He would sleep really well, he wasn’t at all super fussy and he would routinely sleep longer periods as he aged a bit more. We were told by a lot of people just how lucky we were to have him since he was sleeping so great. As he aged to a few months old he still kept sleeping long periods without waking. It was pushing between 6-9 hours a night give or take. It didn’t even feel real at some points when we were sleeping wondering if things were okay.

Then everything started to change. We brought him to a six month appointment with his doctor. My boyfriend had asked why he is waking in the night, what could the possibility of this be? Our doctor asked if we give him a soother, which my boyfriend said yet, She told us to get rid of it or he will always wake up in the night. Well, we kind of panicked a little bit and started to try to not let him have his soother, which in turn was a headache because he was completely dependent on it. And is that so bad for a 6 month old to be like that? No. Not to mention we tried everything and anything to bring it back to how his sleeping habits before were.

We had a fish tank in his bedroom that we would turn on, this played some lullaby’s and whatever so he would be able to put himself to sleep. Well after he became more mobile and able to sit up and move around on his own with his army crawl he would press the buttons on his own to start it up. Now we just have it in his crib as a night light if we need it. We also thought and bought a white noise machine, When he was a baby even when we transitioned him from the bassinet to his crib we had an air conditioner on, maybe he wasn’t sleeping because he was so used to noise from that. We tried switching night lights, and sounds and types of pajamas and anything else we could think of. We just had to accept that he wasn’t going to be that big of a sleeper right now and that the sleep regression that everyone talks about is a real thing and nothing to be messed with.

Currently we put him to bed a bit different for naps and for bedtime. I know, before you say it “Well, that probably doesn’t help him Stacey”. Shove it. My boyfriend and I do this quite often racking our brains around ways to make it work and we just have to be consistence is all. He sleeps in a sleep sack to start. He used to have swaddles until he was able to pull his arms out and we moved onto sleep sacks. They are convenient and a great way to have your little lady or fella stay warm without worrying about blankets wrapped around them in a way they may be hurt. We also have a white noise machine. I had gotten this from Amazon one night when it clicked as to why it was so quiet. When he was in our room we had a humidifier going, just a small one on our dresser and maybe it was far to quiet for him. This also doubles as a nightlight since we used to have a puzzle lamp lit up red for him which we no longer use. It was far too bright and as he aged he would wake up and thing it was day time and he was ready to play. The noise machine light is far less invasive in terms of lighting goes. In the day time when he goes for his naps however I do not turn on the noise machine, Mind you this is my own paranoia that maybe the power would be out at bedtime and maybe he will be so used to noise that he wont sleep without it. We also did the cry it out method which I know we should have stuck with but now I just give him cuddles til he nearly falls asleep and place him in his crib.

As you know, you also have to put babies on their back when they go to sleep. This is so they don’t suffocate themselves when they are far too small to move their heads. As my son grew, he started to sleep more and more on his side, and now he seems to sleep well on his belly. It made us extremely nervous when he started to do that because well, you know why! However he was at the age where he can fully move his head if he wants to.

Though this may sound daunting, the hardest part is keeping the same structure. We always tweeked a few things in his routine but never all at once and it was always the same. We start to give him his last bottle before bed at around 6pm. About 620pm or so we give him some cereal with some formula with some fruit. We started doing this in case he wasn’t eating enough during the day and was fussing with his bottle that now he has a bit more substance before bed time. After that we give him a bath, alternating from a soak to a full clean every other day unless he has a really messy day. This is because we were worried he would have dry skin like I do. Then we get him all dressed up and ready for bed with a story or two (Or three with mom) and he is normally asleep by 7pm.

Fast forward and he just past a year old. Just before actually the past 2 weeks he had something click back! We never changed anything however there was a few nights when he would be getting up at 3am, and crying and crying and crying. We would cuddle, and as soon as he would get back in his crib the screaming and crying. We changed that. We resorted back to the cry it out method. We would make sure that he was changed and had a dry bum, and then we would let him cry it out. We would let him cry for 10 minutes. Go back and reassure him. Go back after 10 more minutes. There was one point he cried for nearly 15 minutes BUT after that he slept for so long. This happened a few nights and suddenly he is sleeping nearly the entire night! From approx 630-645pm til about 6-630am the following day! Occasionally we would have had to give him his soother but that seems to be about it!

There is light at the end of the tunnel! Do not give up new parents!

What have you found to be hard with a new born?
Was your little one’s sleep habits always good? or always bad? or mixed?

Let me know in the comments below!

– Stacey

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Why You Should Try Online Dating (At Least Once!)

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Before I begin, I want to make it clear this is mostly talking about the pre-tinder days. I am sure that they all apply though the same, since I assume each dating app or site all function basically the same way. It is just a matter of trying to apply this to another spot. The site that I once used was called Plenty of Fish which I am sure is still up, however how popular it is I really don’t know since you can do everything you want on a website simply on your phone.

I was about 16 when I first tried to dabble in the online dating scene. I never admitted it to my parents though because they would never be too happy. Not to mention if I remember correctly you had to be over the age of 18 in order to even sign up which I was not. I could have even been a bit older like 17 or so but I know I was not just 18 that is a fact. When I went online the first time I wanted to meet people and be a bit risky. I never was interested in guys from my school and they weren’t interested in me. I had to go to different spots in order to meet different people. I smoked weed and wanted the person I was dating to also smoke weed. I wanted them to have their own place and also for them to smoke cigarettes too since I also smoked those. I really had no standards what so ever I just knew I wanted to have some typical “bad boy” to be my boyfriend. I had absolutely nothing in regards to standards or how I wanted to be treated either. And low and behold I got exactly that. A person who treated me like garbage, was a couch surfer and didn’t even work half the time just mooched off the government for whatever reason too. He was by far the worst relationship I will probably ever been in during my entire life.

You would think this would scare me off of dating. I was now 20 and still thought I would go back online. When I talked about it with my friends they all would make jokes about how the only thing they even encountered there was people who were only looking for sex would be there and everyone was creeps. No one ever talked about how they found someone they wanted to be in a relationship with. I would like to think the second time that I went on that site I was more mature and actually had standards for myself. I knew after coming out of a relationship that resembled garbage I wanted to have very high standards. I wanted to find someone who had a job, and I mean not just a little job, Like a career. I wanted them to have a vehicle not because I didn’t but because I knew they would be able to come to me instead of me always taking the bus. I also wanted them to have a place and not one with roommates or anything. Call it what you wanted but this was what I thought I deserved so I made sure that was what I found.

How I meant my currently boyfriend was on the same site, Plenty of Fish. He had just moved to Halifax in the August and we had met I believe end of September or early October. He had his own apartment and a car, and he worked for the government. I feel incredibly lucky to have met him when I did I feel like someone would have scooped him up. Dating him was weird at first since he paid for meals and movies, he picked me up and treated me to different things. It was a nice change of pace from the previous a-hole I was with before. Something I always have remembered is that when I asked him what made him interested in my profile I had something along the lines of “I have a job, I don’t need your money and I wont be giving you mine” because I was basically supporting my ex while he sat on his butt milking the government for whatever money he could get.

Now as I mentioned before, I never was dating during the tinder or whatever apps are out there. However I feel like this applies to all of the dating helpers across the board. Dating apps and websites are just what you want them to be. They are tools in meeting someone and they are something that if you go in to it looking for a one night stand chances are that is what you would find. For me if someone was creepy or weird I simply blocked them so contact was done and I would move on to the next person. I went into online dating twice. First time standards low and found a piece of poop type of a guy. Second time I went in with high standards and here i am with the man 10 years later with a few pets and our son. If you are looking for a relationship then chances are you can actually find one.

Some tips I would suggest:
– Be honest and upfront. If you want kids or marriage, say it. If you don’t want either or only one of them, say it. When we started dating as any relationship we were pretty much on board with what we wanted in life.
– Don’t keep the website or app if you want this to be a serious relationship. When my boyfriend and I were getting serious and official we both de-activated our accounts at the same time together to show we were over it. If you are serious you wont need to have that still, You can always get it back and it kind of shows you are closing that online dating scene door and looking forward.
– Don’t waste time on “Maybe’s”, If someone doesn’t know what they want chances are you won’t help them get there.
– If possible, Do a video chat before meeting. Mind you I never met or seen my current boyfriend before we met in person. But as a general rule this was something we followed. And in the very least, chat on the phone first. That way you can at least hear different tones and what not.
– Have your guard up against cat-fishing people. If they are asking for money or you to pay things. Decline and block. Don’t let them get close or it will only end in hurt.
– As a no brainer, ALWAYS meet in a public place when having meetings, Don’t meet in shady parts of town and make sure it is a place where there will be a lot of traffic so you aren’t stuck, And in the same line, tell someone what you are doing in case something happens too!


Hopefully this helps!

And how have you met your significant other?
Was it online?
Was it in person?

Let me know in the comments below!

-StaySeeJ08


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Working with Adults with Disabilities

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As mentioned before, this was my last real job before becoming a mom or even moving to a new province where I didn’t know the language to work. This is by far one if the most rewarding and stressful jobs in my entire life. Here is how I got started and maybe you can decide if this is a career path you wish to take!

I got started in this job because a family friend was doing it. More specifically she ws my old babysitter. When she was young she was in the hospital at the same time as my older sister (who sadly passed away from her illness). Growing up she used to baby sit my siblings and I. She then moved a bit away for college and to live for years. In school she had taken child and youth. It was at a community college which was nice for me not having to spend so much money in university also too. I went to where she lived in a town called Truro about 45 minutes from Halifax and did some test drive program. This was where I could see if the human services side of school (the part before the Child and Youth concentration) was for me. Taking this you could go a bunch of different routes. You could do occupational therapist, child and youth, corrections officer, and many more related to helping others. I like the idea that the pay was above minimum wage by a bit and as challenging as it was it seemed like a job you never got bored of either.

I went to school. My first year human services I stayed in the dorms and went that route and my stupid abusive boyfriend nearly helped derail my life, had so generously decided to help me blow my whole line of credit which was supposed to help with my second year. So after living there for 1 year I moved back home.and finished my concentration in child and youth there.

When I had started in with working with adults who have disabilities it was more or less to gain some sort of experience working with populations at risk. In Halifax there really wasn’t a lot of child and youth jobs and a lot wanted you to have some sort of an “in” so to speak. Know someone, did placement there or whatever you want to think of. Working with adults who have challenges in different aspects of their lives is close enough in the human services field that you can kind of do both but by doing this job I would need what is called 7 core competencies. This was paid training of 7 specific courses by the company that hired me and after I had these I was ready to go.

I never thought the job would be so challenging. Aside from being a mom, this has to be one of the hardest jobs I have ever done. You can walk in and have a day that runs so smoothly you feel like you are dreaming or you can have a day where it is so off the rails you feel like you are free falling. You can be hit or punched or kicked by someone having a bad day. The key for me was remembering that they aren’t necessarily targeting you, they just are lashing out and you are the 1st person available. Then the medications are insane for some of the people from sleeping pills, anti-psychotic medications, bi-polar capsules, and whatever else you have. Some people were upwards of 30 pills a day to help balance out their moods and feelings to help them “feel” normal. Which again is a huge responsibility. Thankfully there is teams around to help that know all of the Ins and outs so you aren’t flopping around like a fish out of water. Not to mention you also have to assist with bathing them, dressing, sometimes bringing them to work. Lets not forget the food preparations and meal making also! And most times you also are doing the housework from laundry and sweeping and mopping also (unless it was a bigger group home of 6 or more people which hopefully have a housekeeper to do this during the week). I started as a house keeper and worked my way up to a counselor assistant.

Though not every job has the best circumstances and things. A major con and a solid reason why I wont be going back to this career anytime soon would be the shift work. starting in a field like this you start off at the bottom of the list. Chances are people.who have seniority in an agency will have the Monday to Friday and day time hours. For me starting off I would need to start at the bottom working most likely 2+ weekends per month as well as evenings. And I just am not ready to do that especially with children and it being the exact opposite schedule as my partner. The only way I would work this is if I got a job at a workplace that hires adults with disabilities. Those jobs are typically Monday to Friday and holidays off as well as day hours. Another con is if someone calls in sick chances are you will be stuck as a lot of people wont cover the shifts. This sucks when you are stuck working nearly 24 plus hours straight.

If you can get past this the pay is pretty decent even when starting out. For me it was nearly 3 or 4 dollars above the minimum wage due to being in the health sector. This helped to pay for bills and things as well too. It helped me save money and pay my debt from college off too. It is also probably one of the most rewarding jobs that I have ever had. It makes you realize the little things that may seem so big to us are really very small to someone with a disability who has overcome more in a day then most in a lifetime. They deal with discrimination and obstacles that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Not to mention the fact they have to have help for their entire life to ensure their safety and that may be challenging for the strongest of people. They overcome so many challenges daily that we often fake things for granted. The job and the value you have in someones life is huge. And for that alone I would recommend anyone who has this desire or drive to do so.

The question I ask myself is, would I ever go back to this type of work? As of now, no. It would entirely depend on where I am in life and if the right opportunity had to arise. I would have to have the right schedule and something a bit flexible to work with my growing family. And if everything worked out I would consider it. Even still the job is very demanding physically and mentally, and with a family and children, they will be coming first for a very very long time!

Do you have a job you enjoy?
How did you come to deciding that as a career?


Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!!


– Stacey

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The 2 Hardest Things About Parenting

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I am sure that there are other hard things and I wouldn’t necessarily say these are “hard” but I would say they can be the most frustrating. These are the types of things that all of your parent friends have barely even touched the surface about parenting when they are telling you tips and tricks about raising a child. I will also like to point out, When you decide or if you decide to have a family, ANYONE will try to give you advice on how to raise that child. Whether it be family or friends who have had kids, or whether it be people you know who don’t even have kids. There will always be someone out there who is going to try to tell you the “Right” way to do things. The best thing I can say is this, If someone tries to do this with unsolicited advice. Listen. Because you never know if it will in fact help you or be something new. That being said. Them telling you this does not mean you HAVE to listen to them. Just know that basically when you have a child anyone and everyone will want to throw their 2 cents into the mix.

Trying new things is extremely challenging. Especially when it comes to foods. I know my boyfriend and I are so scared to try new foods with my son mostly because he has yet to have teeth at the time of writing this (Approx 9 and a half months old/Ill add an update after this paragraph depending on when I release this!) We are starting to do more lumpy and not pureed food but out doctor basically panicked us into thinking he MUST have different foods or else our son will be so far behind. I think as parents we over react to many things and when we thought about it we really aren’t doing that wrong by this. our son has eaten rice with hamburger and tomato sauce, he has eaten bananas as well too mushed up, or even peas or blueberry pieces. We immediately felt like we were doing a total disservice to our son when really we were doing okay! Trying new things with your baby or child is terrifying but it has to be done. If you really research it though and go for it then you will be fine with finding the right way for you and your family!

Knowing when to change routine is also challenging. You are taught so often that you should be trying to keep things on a schedule. As hard as that may be when you have a new born you still need to try. For us we typically are up at 5am right now (Though remember I pre-write blogs so I will update with a ** when I re-read before publishing this!) and he goes to bed anywhere from 630pm to 7pm. He also is now currently on a 2 nap maybe the odd day a 3rd nap if one of the other two were shorter. this goes with particular things. When it comes to how much food to give your child for example. Maybe you started like us with 2 ice cubes of puree. As he grew we went to 3 and now for some meals we give him 4 cubes of food. Knowing when to change your routine is good. Even if you are just trying to play with some element of it to try to better how it goes. Nothing feels better then at the end of the day you can stand back and think how smoothly it went. And nothing is more exhausting then when you are struggling to get through a day where everything seems to be out of wack.

Okay, I lied. The last thing is keeping it simple. I have been guilty of this more times than I like to admit. Picture this, Your child is in bed and they start stirring and fussing. You go in try everything. You console them, leave, try the cry it out a bit, try a soother, try a cuddle, change pajamas, change sleep sack, turn on white noise, turn off again. turn on a night light, turn off again. Check that his diaper is clean 3 times just to be sure because you are seriously wondering what the problem here is. Only to realize that if you cuddled and walked with your child for a little and patted his back that you would hear a little burp and easily back to sleep again. I’ve been there and I am sure many of us have. Sometimes the most simple things are the easiest to overcome. Remember when I mentioned before that I had the air conditioning on in our bedroom and my son had his door open in the summer? So the noise of the AC was there and when fall and winter swung around we obviously removed it, only to wonder if his sleep habits were out of wack due to the fact that it was too quiet? Right, If you can remember keep it simple it will save you a lot of head and heart ache trying to wrap your brain around things that are happening in your life and your child’s too.

Those are my thoughts, right there! As you can probably guess if you were to ask me to re-do this blog in a few months time that I will probably have even more to add or even change about being a parent. So often we think it looks easy when people have everything together on the outside but on the inside things are challenging. Being a parent is by far the hardest job I have ever had to do where I just go through the motions and try to push down feelings of self doubt. I need to remind myself that even though things get hard I am a great mom and hope to be lucky enough to be a mom again, and again!

What do you find challenging about parenthood? Are they different than mine? Or are they the same?

Let me know in the comments below!

-Stacey


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3 Private Home Buying Tips + The downside of private home sales

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If you are unfamiliar with the stream, you will have noticed that Wednesday last week I was given the new that our dream was dashed.

My boyfriend and I are moving back home to Nova Scotia in the coming months and to say we are stressed about a house to buy is an understatement. The reasoning for this is because there has been a minor boom happening there. This is where people from Ontario are buying all the homes as soon as they come up however they are putting it sometimes 20k – 100k above asking price. I think we are prematurely becoming stressed since we wont get our official message of moving til mid April, with hopefully moving in July.

Here is where the story begins. My best friend since grade 6, her parents were selling their house. Well, thinking about it anyways. We had discussed a price. And agreed. For a while they were worried about my boyfriend and I backing out of the deal and leaving them with things. We hyped it up, there was multiple confirmations about this. There were many things happening and nearing the point where we would have an actual agreement written up so that they could sign and it would be a done deal (Obviously confirming we get out message to move as well as an inspection doesn’t have something crazy with it either!). They didn’t want to go public as they were not comfortable with having so many people through their home, they wanted to save money on agent fees since they are also expensive and take a HUGE chunk of the profits too.

Then, their son told them if they were to go public with this sale. He said they could get more money if they went public and welp, long story short. They did. They informed us on Wednesday evening AFTER we had confirmed again that same day. To the point that if my boyfriend had of gotten his lawyer to write up this agreement then he would have been out of money.

Doing a private sale was never something we wanted to do. We did this as a favor for them. However we were screwed. Before people start coming at this, “But of course if they could make more money blah blah blah”. We never denied that they could probably make more money if they were to go public with the sale. We told them that if they wanted to go that route they could. However the multiple confirmations and moments they could have told us they were having different thoughts was far too many to count. We aren’t upset at the fact that they told us they wanted to go with an agent. We are upset at the fact that we were strung along for 3 weeks this promise of a house which never was going to happen. To say we are devastated is an understatement.

That being said. Here is my tips for you if you are considering having a private sale or buying of a home.

1) Get it in WRITING! – One thing we didn’t do quick enough was get everything in writing. The day they called to back out of the verbal agreement was the day we were talking with lawyers to draw up a purchase agreement. Had we have had something in writing then maybe they would have been stuck in what they agreed to however that was our mistake for trusting someone I had known for over 18 years through my friend.

2) Have a back out clause. If you are going the private route make sure that you have a back out clause. Had they have come back to use and wanted to re-negotiate a deal with us. Which they had not done first (Mind you we could have also offered them a bit more then what they wanted to if they had even asked us..But they choose not to.) we would have for sure put something in the new contract in regards to them that if they were to back out they would have owed us something of financial security for wasting our time with them.

3) And I know.. This may come as a wasted point. But DO NOT GET EXCITED UNTIL EVERYTHING IS FINALIZED! My boyfriend and I continuously reminded one another not to get excited, this isn’t for sure, don’t get your hopes up and all that stuff. However as time passed we got more and more excited because there was the confirmations along the way. No more of that for us. It is a very difficult lesson to learn and we are still feeling the loss of this house. Sure nothing was set in stone but that didn’t make anything less real. We got our hopes up in a world that could use a little bit more. And we are the ones who are feeling this loss.

If anything, I hope by reading this you learn from our mistakes. Now we are on the hunt and keeping our eyes peeled on the house of our dreams. We may be looking far too early for when we are able to move. However you really have to keep your eyes on what houses are selling, what prices they are going for, and when are they going up for sale. We have all the criteria we would like to have it’s just catching one that we can put an offer in at the right time without having it go up tens of thousands of dollars and it quickly becomes out of our price range too.

And a friendly reminder, You really don’t know someone for any amount of years. Money changes people. Even ones you thought that you knew. And before letting your heart get broken and back to square one again, remember that you have to look out for number one. YOU.

Do you have any moving horror stories?
Anything you wish you could have done differently when buying a home whether publicly or privately?
Let me know in the comments below!

– Stacey

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March Update 2021

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I cannot believe I am writing a new update for a new month. I feel like just the other day I was actually writing an update for February! I dont want to say time is flying but it may just be flying on by this year. Not that I would be complaining about it because it feels GREAT to finally see the end of the tunnel and the light shining through it. I feel like soon enough I will be writing the update for April!

A major thing I want to update but not update would be my weight. Though I do write the bi-weekly blogs on that I have been struggling. I need to really hammer down this month and try to lose weight. Not to mention I think we are going to start trying to grow our family a bit more and even though I wanted to lose weight before we started trying again I feel like I may even lose some weight when we become pregnant again. The last time I was pregnant I was told by the doctor that I could safely lose weight because a baby inside is going to take the nutrients that they want to so you wont be “starving” them like some may thing. This was also a misconception that I also though too! I am looking forward to this next chapter in our lives as crazy as it might be weight loss should be something I focus on but right now I am focusing on loving myself and getting back into the swing of things while not being totally harsh on myself when I slip up with calories or something also.

A HUGE milestone in my house is that my son turned one this past week! It still is completely weird for me to wrap my head around the fact that we delivered him with out any medications and how fast it happened. Everyone said that the first baby can take a long time to really happen and that couldn’t have been more opposite this time! I cannot believe that he is a whole year old. With Covid floating around the world and what not it really is incredible how quickly that the year has come and gone. I feel sad though when I think about the things he missed out on like meeting family members who were unable to travel due to restrictions in the different provinces in Canada however I am so excited to be looking forward to the move in a few short months.

If you missed the update for February we were given the news we will be moving back home to Nova Scotia this year! I cannot wait for that to happen either. WE were going to buy a house however the homeowners we’re a bit off and completely screwed with mine and my boyfriend’s head however that is another blog to write in the future haha

The other major thing that I said we should do as well is paint. If I have to paint at night when Vincent is in bed or when it gets cooler that would be the biggest thing for me as well too. It wouldn’t be a big deal to my significant other if the paint wasn’t done but for me the paint in the house is the same paint that was there when I was a teenager going over there after we smoked weed and played video games. That is probably the biggest thing to do only because by painting the house I feel like it will really make the home feel like ours and not my friends parents! I already have a basic color scheme for it which is a start I just have to really hammer things down for it though. My goal is to do artwork on my streams in the meantime to hopefully have some new pieces to hang on the walls and really help us feel like ours too. I have been killing pinterest searching for different styles and artwork that I could re-create and tweek to suit out new home!

The major thing I would like to do on this current rental home is to clean out the basement. I know I basically did something like that when I was 8 months pregnant but I mean I really would like to deep clean the house though. I have a bunch of rubber made totes that have things filed and packed in however I need to go through those totes. It is pretty organized with different things like papers, decorations, even some clothing or the front hall closet, but I would like to really gut those boxes so that I am able to fully organize things. Lucky for us when we move we don’t have to pack as the job place that my boyfriend works will set that up for us. But I would like to make it as a easy as possible and prevent the over packing again too like when we moved here. There is probably things that we haven’t used in such a long time that they can be gotten rid of and that is my goal for March is to fully organize so that we can just pack up and leave seamlessly.

Overall I am looking forward to this month flying by also. I cannot wait to be away from this province and back in to my new home and living close to my family. I know we will be away form my partner’s however with a family we would like to keep growing it just makes sense to move somewhere that I will have some people who can help if we need it. Not to mention, At least Nova Scotia has a lot less covid cases compared to here too!


-Stacey

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Weight Loss Wednesday #4 – Feeling refreshed even struggling!

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If you have been following my journeys at all you will see that I am in the process of trying to lose weight. AS anyone knows it is a struggle and you can see the beginning of my struggles right here. Losing weight is hard for anyone.

It is no surprise that I am struggling. For what reason I don’t know. With my son’s birthday yesterday obviously there was snacks and things and I hope that by writing this I can get back on track. I have been working a lot on trying to not stress about misses I might have in my schedule. That is a major reason why I try to restart my calorie counting books and things. I am the worst when it comes to being my own worst enemy. When I screw things up I am still holding it over my head for a while and its not a good thing at all.

I have been trying my best to cut back on smoking weed. Though I don’t think I am doing a whole lot I try not to smoke AT LEAST 3-4 days a week when I am gaming at least. Or if I do end up smoking I will after I have gamed. This is mostly because I am super lazy when I smoke and as I mentioned before I always cut the streams short when I am smoking and I don’t want to do that. My goal is to really try to hammer out a schedule of streaming and get to it for sure.



Current weight: 242.0lbs (Right back in the beginning.. LOL)
Start weight: 242.0lbs
Measurements (The same will be used because I really haven’t lost any weight and so measurements wouldn’t be different)

Measurements:
Waist: 47.0 Inches ( No Change)
Hips: 54.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
Bust – Over – 46.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
– Under – 41.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
Thighs – Left – 30.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
– Right – 31.0 Inches (Up .5 Inch)
Arms – Left – 14.0 Inches (Down .5 Inch)
– Right – 14.5 Inches (Up .5 Inch)



Going forward I think it would be better for me to not stress a bit over things. I think that is one of my biggest things like anything in life we normally are our own biggest critiques. That’s not a good thing! Instead of moving past a bad day or something I hang on to it like that is the biggest thing in the world and that’s so weird and not good mentally for myself. Having a bad day does not mean that I should throw away everything I worked hard for. I know that and even saying and writing it out loud it still can be really hard to grasp. I need to stop feeding my feelings with food and take a moment to reflect in times when I would like to munch overly whether I am high or not. I notice sometimes if I am bored I will mindlessly eat which is not good either and I really need to hammer down and stopping that.

My march goal is to hopefully get under 230lbs. It will not be easy and I know it will be challenging in many ways. I need to really stop feeling sorry for myself and actually do something as hard as it may be. I know that I can do it I just need to put my mind to it! It will be great and I am looking forward to the next month!!

My Son’s 1st Birthday!

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I cannot believe I am writing this, Or that the date of this blog post will going live with the fact that my son is a ONE YEAR OLD TODAY!

For anyone who doesn’t know, Last year I had my first child! He was a boy and at 30 years old it was quite the exciting moment in anyone’s life but especially mine! I was the last person out of my siblings to have kids. My brother and sister both had kids at very young ages however my boyfriend and I wanted to wait and see what happened with life til we had kids.

We waited so long due to his job and mine being so demanding. We knew we wanted to start a family later because we would try to have kids all together. In fact, Truth be told. We are thinking about starting to try for number 2 here soon!

My son’s birth I think was about as easy as any 1st time birth could be. We had a few hiccups with jaundice as well as a minor heart murmur when he was born which quickly was ended once he was a few days old. And than we had to have him under the sun lamps due to having a bit of jaundice which was not to bad but felt like ages. All things were nothing major in terms of a brand new baby! Though as first time parents it felt like it was a huge thing! Though we both know it wasn’t based on the people with us while he sunbathed away the yellowing of his skin!

There is so many things that people don’t tell you about childbirth, I have even written them in previous blogs and I am sure with future babies I will continue to have new things that we never knew before having him. There really is a lot to know about giving birth. Something so simple like most women don’t have their water break before hand. To something like, contractions aren’t always regular either!

They always say, you know, whoever they are, that having kids makes time fly. I would agree with this statement for sure. I feel like I was just in the hospital cuddling my newborn and here I am with a nearly walking one year old who is such a little ham full of laughter and giggles it is insane!

Even though this year was extremely hard in many ways it is also hard because my family (Aside from my uncles) Have met my son due to covid. It is their youngest little grandchild and my first so to not being able to share it with them is really hard. Not that my significant other has really shared our son a lot but his parents have met him as well as his brother. Even if only a few times. That is something I cannot wait to share is how full of life he is. Using video chat’s and things is great but hearing my mom say that she hopes he recognizes her once they finally meet can be really hard. I hope that he knows who my dad and mom are but only time will tell! Not to mention there is different rules there since they normally have such low covid cases they are allowed to do different things there that we haven’t been able to do for a very very long time.

I think a big thing for me would be the fact that I can be around my friends and family with him. I want to share Vincent with everyone and have him meet so many people, obviously abiding by the covid rules and what not, but I want to introduce him to everyone.

If people would have told me that I would have a one year old when I was 31 years old I would think it was dreaming. It really is nutty to have a son and him aging so rapidly. I cannot wait to see what more he learns. How great of a big brother he will be as well too which will also be cool!

As for what are we doing for his birthday? Not a whole lot with restrictions and things. We wil be doing cupcakes though since we can give some to our neighbors since there is no way that we will be eating a whole mess of them. We also have received some gifts from his grandparents too and his nieces and nephews and aunt and uncle in Nova Scotia. My partner and I also have gotten him 2 new toys a little laptop and activity cube as well.

The things I am looking forward to the most would as mentioned before, be moving home. I cannot wait til he has a big house that we can grow our family and watch him grow up to be a kind and generous adult some day! The house has been perfect for my friends family in raising her family and now we are going to raise ours. My son has had a super unconventional 1st year of life with a virus that basically stops everyone from doing anything with their lives or being with loved ones. That I am looking forward to the most. I cannot wait to show him more about swimming and skating and different things as the time passes.

Quebec has been fun but with the heat and things keeping us inside in the summer with him being so small I cannot help but be excited to show him all the things we can do as he grows up where I also grew up. I have nothing but bad to say about my upbringing or childhood and I cannot wait to share those things with him. The fact I will be a ten minute walk to my parents or even yet a 2 minute drive is just an added bonus!

Here is to another year with our little man. Motherhood has been great and I am so excited to continue to grow our little family and watch this little guy grow!

– Stacey

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